The Top Pickup Artist Forum On The Internet: Fast Seduction 101

<< newsletter archive home

fast seduction 101 promotion section

If you haven’t already visited the   ASF forum or Player Guide web board, now would be a good time to do so… Don’t forget to this site! Fast Seduction 101 now has a product review section.

The Magic Formula
Fri, 22 Oct 1999 16:58:28 -0400

Freeqshow submitted the following; your comments are appreciated.

THE MAGIC FORMULA   by Karl Felyshano

The dating scene can be murder.  Consider the plight of the male antechinus,
a tiny shrewlike marsupial that inhabits the forests of Australia.  During
his one and only mating season, he must scamper around feverishly,
desperately seeking a willing female who'll concede him his single chance to
propagate.  So overwhelmed is he by the urge to merge that this sad little
rodent may go bald, lose his teeth, develop ulcers and drop one-third of his
body weight to find a date. By the end of the first week of mating season,
the forest floor is strewn with scrawny, hairless, toothless corpses. Not
all of these marsupials end up in such a pathetic state.  Some actually do
find mates, settle down, have a family, invest in slow-growth mutual funds.
But these are the lucky ones, the chosen
ones, the ones who have what it takes to strike a female antechinus's fancy.
Which makes us wonder: What is it, exactly, that makes one tiny hairless
rodent more appealing than the next?  Better yet, what makes a normal,
red-blooded man more appealing than the next?  After all, we're animals
too - not tiny, no, but increasingly hairless - and we're driven by the same
instincts and participate in our own elaborate mating rituals.  And when it
comes to mating, some of us have our virtual pick of the litter while others
struggle endlessly to find a partner.  Why is that?
The answer lies in the nature of attraction.  In humans, as in shrews,
females are biologically programmed to desire certain things in males, and
vice versa.  "We don't attract women by chance, but rather women act on cues
to certain desirable characteristics," says David M. Buss, Ph.D., University
of Michigan professor of psychology and author of the book "The Evolution Of
Desire."  And that's not because of what society tells women; it's because
of what evolution tells them.  "The rules of attraction cut across all
cultures," says Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D., Rutgers University anthropologist
and author of the book
"Anatomy of Love."  "Women find certain traits more desirable than others,
frankly, because these traits enhance their survival." What all females,
forest-dwelling or condo-owning, seek on a purely instinctive level is
status, that one factor that signals that this is the guy they want.  In the
wild kingdom, status can take any number of forms: the amount of food in a
male red-winged blackbird's territory, the protein-rich secretions offered
by a male insect or the fullness of some male deer's antlers.  For humans,
it's no different.  "It's the hallmark of the human animal - that women pick
good providers - and status is a cue to power, protection and resources,"
says Fisher. Volumes of research clearly show that high-status men get more
women than low-status men. But what is status, and what marks one man as
having it and another as falling short?  It's money and power, yes, but it's
a lot of other things, too.  While having piles of cash and sleek wheels can
be impressive, they cannot explain why Joe Schlump in accounting has such a
drop-dead beauty queen for a wife when his paltry paycheck and 1975 Pacer
aren't exactly big turn-ons.  His status may not lie in his looks or
trapping but rather in his dependability, his trustworthiness or his
potential to be a good father.  These are also signs of status - and they
mean a lot more to some women than Maseratis and indoor swimming pools.
So perhaps you're a little jealous and you'd like to know what she sees in
him.  Or perhaps you're happy as a clam and you're still trying to figure
out what she sees in you.  Simple qualities, some of which you already
possess, and some of which, if you don't know, you can.  By making subtle,
deliberate changes, you can increase your "mate value," the biological
measure by which women subconsciously judge your attractiveness.
AMBITION.  Ambition is a powerful magnet, not because it signifies status
but because it signifies future status.  Right now your bank account may not
be bulging, but if you're not striving - or at least appearing to be
striving - for something better than you have, your appeal wanes.  That's
because women are attracted not simply to the resources wealth offers but to
the drive that pushes a man to seek wealth in the first place.
When women are asked to list the most desirable traits in a potential
mate, ambition and industriousness are rated as indispensable.  "Women
developed desires for men who show a talent for gaining resources and a
disdain for men who lack ambition," says Buss.  In prehistoric times, an
ambitious, resourceful man was the one most likely to bring home an elk to
feed the family and figure out a way to use the antlers to beat back
intruders.  If you show the desire to expand your wealth and influence (even
if you don't happen to have any right now), you send out the signal that
you're desirable.  So keep looking for new responsibilities, new challenges;
a little button-down derring-do can do wonders for your appeal.
BALANCE.  While you're out there trying to change your little slice of the
world, remember to take some time to relax and enjoy yourself. Women look
for balance, and any kind of overindulgence, good or bad, makes them
nervous.  "If you meet a woman and you give evidence you're a workaholic,
that tells her you may not be around to help with the kids and invest in the
relationship," says Buss.  The same goes for your drinking, your exercising,
your football watching: If you eat, drink and breathe sports, you're not
going to score.  All things n moderation.
MODESTY.  Like a peacock displaying his superior plumage to potential mates,
a man who is sure of himself and shows it in his actions has
higher success in finding a partner.  But self-confidence must be legitimate
to have any pull.  "Women are quite good at distinguishing false bravado
from real self-confidence," says Buss.  Exaggerating your power, sexual
adeptness or athletic prowess, which are acts of an amateur, will only
signify your lack of status.  Even the peacock can run into trouble, as his
ostentatious display often attracts predators as well as sex partners.
TALENT.  Boast not with words but with actions.  Learn a unique talent that
sets you apart from other men.  By displaying that talent - whether it's
playing the piano at a party, building a birdhouse or performing a magic
trick (hell, David Copperfield used magic to snag Claudia Schiffer), you'll
come off as supremely confident and a guy who's head and shoulders above the
competition.  "And you garner attention, a potent status cue," says Buss.
"Plus, showing off your competence signals a take-charge kind of leadership,
which is a cue to status."
SENSITIVITY, NOT SIMPERING.  A little vulnerability every now and then
may actually enhance you're desirability and status.  In one study, women
looked at sets of responses to questions answered either from a masculine
point of view or an "androgynous" viewpoint - meaning a mix of both feminine
and masculine traits.  The women rated the androgynous male as more
favorable in terms of intelligence, morality, dating and mating potential.
But here men have to walk a fine line.  "As the feminine side grew, sexual
attractiveness declined," says study author Robert Cramer, Ph.D., professor
of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino.  That's
because, for all the talk of making men more sensitive, the truth is that
"Women admire men who have firm beliefs,
take control in financial or career decisions and protect them when they
feel threatened," says Cramer.  The key is to exhibit emotional sensitivity
without exhibiting helplessness.
Do: Admit when you're wrong or ask for directions when you're lost; feel
free to tear up a little during a Meg Ryan movie; express it when you're
feeling hurt of sad; show some emotional fortitude when bad times hit.
Don't: Act helpless to get out of doing something you don't want to do; get
defensive when you're in the wrong; chicken out after you've made a
commitment; brood, sulk or play hurt to get what you want.
A COOL DEMEANOR.  While a quick temper can create an aura of dark
sexuality, in the real world it suggests you're as stable as a trailer park.
"Moodiness signals to women an inability to handle stress, and that you're
undependable," says Buss.  "Being emotionally stable, though, suggests
resiliency, an ability to cope with stress and setbacks," says Buss.  Your
best bet is to find a good stress-reduction technique - exercise, for
example - that will keep you from blowing your lid at the slightest
provocation.
A LITTLE JEALOUSY.  So you're out with a woman so unbelievably beautiful
she's causing a parade of fender benders.  You feel uncomfortable and a
little overprotective.  That's good.  "Women interpret jealousy as a cue
that you're invested in the relationship as they are," says Buss.  But don't
let your jealousy get the best of you.  "Too much jealousy signals lower
mate value and status on your part," says Buss.  Getting angry at the
slightest glances from other men signals to the woman that you think she's
out of your league and could find someone better.  Chances are, she probably
will.
SUBTLETY.  "Often men erroneously think that because they welcome overtly
sexual advances, women do, too," says Buss.  But research refutes this.  One
study found that while women might think it's just fine to seductively suck
on a straw or blow kisses to attract men, they find similar come-ons by men
repulsive.  "Even if a woman wants a one-night stand, suggesting you want
the same is a big mistake," says Buss.  That's because coming on like a
satyr undermines your status and presents you as untrustworthy and
unreliable.  In fact, the criteria women use to judge men for a night of
casual sex (being
self-confident, funny, ambitious) aren't all that different from the
standards they use when scoping a permanent mate.  Even if all she has on
her mind is a quick one, she'd like to think you're interested in much more.
By the way, in almost every scenario, the rule of thumb is, take it slow.
Even if you're sure she's interested, let the game play out a little more.
Your relaxed patience suggests higher status by convincing her you're
neither desperate nor interested solely in a roll in the hay.
HUMOR.  Women love comedians.  They love comedy clubs.  They love
Jerry Seinfield, and he's no looker by any means.  But there's a good reason
that a sense of humor is rated as a highly desirable trait in studies of
attraction.  "Beyond displaying a playful, easygoing attitude, a sense of
humor conveys a social presence, which translates into high status," says
Buss.  Being funny in front of others (as opposed to doing it alone in front
of a mirror) shows the confidence to command the attention of a group.  That
confidence suggests you're on top of things without being uptight.  And that
relaxed self-assurance is usually a by-product of attaining high status. Now
some guys are funny and some guys aren't.  If you're one of those men who
just can't tell a joke to save their own life, fine.  At least learn to
laugh at yourself and see the humor in a variety of circumstances.  Men who
never smile are equated with social ineptitude and lower status.
A STRONG VOICE.  Here's an easy way to attain status: Concentrate on
your speaking voice.  Studies suggest a low, smooth, strong voice without a
wide range of pitch (meaning a consistent tone) is strongly attractive to
the opposite sex.  "A low, resonant voice may serve as an indicator of
virility or a good sexual partner," says Miron Zuckerman, Ph.D., of the
department of psychology at the University of Rochester, New York.  A
nasal-sounding, squeaky, high or shrill voice was found to be unappealing.
But if you've ever watched Roseanne, you already know that.
A SMALL DEGREE OF FAME.  A sure way to attract women is to become
famous.  "Fame converts to status and status converts to resources," says
Fisher.  Since you may not ever get the chance to guest of Charlie Rose or
save the earth from a crashing meteor, better to cultivate a little fame
locally.  "It's really in your neighborhood where fame counts," says Fisher.
"It's there that you'll meet women and hope to impress them."  That means
becoming involved in local charities and politics, and keeping a somewhat
high profile in social
circles.  You'll meet more people and be seen by more people, which will add
to your prestige.  And don't worry if your fame-attained status never gets
beyond the city limits.  "Status doesn't travel very well, anyway," says
Fisher.  "You can be an extremely high-status Tongan, but go to New York and
see where that'll get you."
Karl Felyshano
Copyright 1999

-----------------------------------

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.  - unknown

To any who wish to contact the author directly, email me.

===================================================

INFORMATION ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a free e-mail list relating to seduction, maintained by "Clifford".  Your comments are requested, encouraged, and greatly appreciated (note that comments from different people are separated by IIIIIIII’s).  If you know anyone who would like to be added to the list, or if you would like to be removed from the list, send an e-mail asking to be added or removed to cli***f@cl***.com^{[ ? ]} and it will be done.  If you would like to be added to the free joke list, just ask.  For those of you unfamiliar with the references to Speed Seduction^»Â®, Clifford highly recommends your visiting http://www.seduction.com/.  For those interested in seeing the previous e-mails that were sent out ("the archives"), they are available on request to Clifford or, preferably, can be browsed and searched at the archive at http://www.fastseduction.com/cliff/.

By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only.  You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of anything you read herein is to be considered legal or personal advice.  You also understand and agree that any products you may order as a result of your reading about them in this archive are produced and sold independently from us and that any complaints, disputes or other issues which you may have with the sponsors of these products are to be dealt with directly with said sponsors and we are not responsible in any way whatsoever for any issues which you may have with them.   If you are not in agreement with any of this, please leave his site now.

DISCLAIMERS:
This newsletter and the newsletter archive in general is reproduced here with Clifford’s permission.  Visual enhancements and search features have been added by the fastseduction.com webmaster to facilitate the reading and researching of the content.  The raw text as it appears here is exactly as it appeared in the original e-mail newsletter.  Products, services, or external web sites mentioned or linked to in this archive does not denote endorsement of those items.  The contents reprinted here are the opinion of the original writer(s) and are not necessarily the opinion of, nor endorsed by, the owner(s) or operator(s) of fastseduction.com.  The archive enhancements are generated automatically and there may be occasions where the visual cues don’t correlate exactly with the textual context; most of the time, though, the enhancements are pretty accurate.  The archive is updated as regularly as possible, whenever new newsletters are sent out.

>> back to top