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I have to shrink the pool of applicants
Sun, 5 Nov 2000 10:08:44 -0500
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Oui...fornicate:
>Tenore:
>reason with her that such a marvelous guy, should he come along, would
>prefer to get a younger woman for the same amount of trouble: "If so,
>it would just be proof of his shallowness," she replied.
If it makes her feel better, that's a useful delusion for her.
>Linda:
>I think that guys who focus on age and a certain look may be limiting
>themselves. You're shrinking the pool of applicants! Yeah, looks and
There are more than 100 million women in the USA. Given my expected
life span, I have to shrink the pool of applicants. Expecting women
to maintain a certain level of physical fitness has been a useful
filter for me. Are there 40 year old women who meet my standards? Yes. Are
there a lot more early 20's women who meet those standards? Mais Oui!
>There are women I know who are in their thirties who are constantly
>getting hit on by younger men. Being thin and well-groomed helps them
>but I think it is their receptivity and their ability to establish
>rapport that keeps these guys coming around.
In other words, they don't have bitch shields? :)
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Christopher:
> Linda:
> Is 30+ really too old for you guys? Not all 30+ women look like wrinkled,
> fat bags of shit but I guess there are far too many of them for some guys
to
> even consider thinking that there are some HB's in that age range. Where
do
> you guys live? Are most the "older" women heffers? I know many attractive
> interesting women over thirty who aren't as repulsive as some guys have
> described.
> I think that guys who focus on age and a certain look may be limiting
> themselves. You're shrinking the pool of applicants! Yeah, looks and age
> matter to certain extent but a more important factor I think is attitude
and
> openness.
> There are women I know who are in their thirties who are constantly
getting
> hit on by younger men. Being thin and well-groomed helps them but I think
it
> is their receptivity and their ability to establish rapport that keeps
these
> guys coming around.
Different women are good for different things. The vitality, freshness,
and beauty of an 18-year-old with perfect face & figure isn't a substitute
for perspective, wisdom, and way of being women in their 30's & 40's might
bring to a relationship, even of the short-term recreational variety. And
the
opposite is true as well. I've had marvelous fun with both much younger
and much older women.
I believe that this argument isn't really about younger vs. older. Rather I
think that some PUA's seem to use SS as a status-enhancing mechanism,
within their peer group at least. And, if one were to categorize younger
women
as more desirable (which doesn't mean harder to get necessarily), then they
will naturally find it more status-enhancing to bag very young women.
Well, status is a natural and inherent concern of all human beings. Also,
younger women have been more attractive to men, *across all cultures*.
But if these guys were to stop looking at SS as a means of gaining status, I
think a lot of this talk would go out the door.
It's not a matter of shallowness, because that's a judgement not really
even well supported by inference from the facts of the matter. It's a matter
of these fellows doing what comes naturally, which is to get the most
opportunities to reproduce with as many partners as possible. Only human,
and really quite ordinary.
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Bjorn:
I have two comments. The first one is to the 18 year old boy. All I can
say is that when I was 18, seducing HB's was easy. Things change BIG time
once you get over 30. As males, we are "wired" by nature to be attracted to
younger females (i.e.. around 19). They are most likely to successfully bear
our children (i.e.. pass on our genes). Yes, I agree most young females are
taken by young studs. However, I still prefer younger females (20 - 24) for
two main reasons; firstly, they usually are slimmer and more attractive and
secondly, they do not want to get married.
The second comment is to Linda. Linda, I wouldn't say 30 is too old for a
female if she takes care of herself and stays "buff". There are some hot
looking ones here in Kitchener (especially, at gym where I work out).
However, I find that alot of 30 year old females are looking for a husband
and a guys with money. This is a major turn off for an alpha male»,
especially one who does not want to supplicate by spending money on a woman.
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Dave:
> Someone who loves to talk a lot wrote the following (who was it? Not
Cliff,
> I think--right?):
> > That is alot of messy shit. The model is far too large and cumbersome.
I
> > have a better concept that works WONDERS for me. The emotion is:
> TALKATIVE.
> > Bad mood or good, by being TALKATIVE you are able to convey your
> > personality, even if you are bitter boy (Being bitter boy has gotten me
> laid
> > several times). HOW to get yourself into this mood? There are 2 ways.
One
> is
> > to talk about ANYTHING on your way to the club with your wings. Even if
> it's
> > just shit talk. Just talk talk talk talk talk. The other way, if you
> > are alone in the club, is to approach the first 3 sets with the notion
of
> > just GEARING UP your brain. Talk talk talk talk talk. It solves
EVERYTHING
> > INTERNAL. You aren't worrying about what to say because you are in a
> > talkative mood. It just flows out like water.
>
> My Comment: It was Mystery.
>
> Second, do what works for you. Personally I don't think that just talking
> can put you in the kind of state you want. Talking might or might not
> distract you from shitty states, but I'd like to go WAY beyond that into
the
> kind of positive, fantastic states that are possible for humans to feel.
I
> think it's not enough to just "not be in a bad mood" -- what's more
> important and ever so much more fascinating is to live at the far edge of
> the wondrous feelings you can stand to have. Just talking yourself out of
> bad states wouldn't do that, of course. What if you were to ask yourself,
> If I could feel the most fantastic feelings a human being can ever feel,
> what would I feel? What would I choose to feel? How would I feel it? How
> would I know that I feel it?
> Precision, my friend.. precision.
On the topic of talking about talking, somethings often worth talking
about are how talking about a change of mind can bring about that change
of mind. Like, once a state of mind can be comprehended... brought into
conscious awareness, it can also then be changed. The state of mind, or
the conscious awareness? By considering the state you're in, you've
already moved past that state... at least, some what. How far modified
from the state do you really need to be?
Have you ever noticed, when describing a state to someone... they happen
to enter that state? That, empathetic understanding of that other
possibility. Like a warm Jacuzzi and a glass of wine, so much better than
what was previously being focused on. What's better... the feeling of the
steaming hot water, or the feeling it adds to that floating sensation of
the wine?
The cool thing about changing your own state of mind in a club, and
talking about that state change... is there are so many people around to
appreciate it. And, a club is a good place to begin from anyway as most
people there are already having fun. Or if they are not... they at least
have an idea of what fun would be that it currently isn't.
> Zvi (Continuing): I don't have the time to comment in length, but I have
to
> clarify that my idea is not only about the state you want to have while
> meeting women.. but in general, 24-7.
Women are very perceptive to state changes... both in themselves and in
others. My own theory has something to do with breathing, umbilical cords
and life force... yet whatever the reason, they are attuned to it. Maybe
it's the [duck] inherant, nurturing nature of women. It is fun to change
states with them, but not to them. (Going back to the previous discussion of
patterned emotions).
In that way, picking up women is much like kung fu. At all times, one
must be firmly grounded in a neutral position. In that way, kung fu is
much like life. From rock solid neutral position, every possible action
is possible if one is ready to deal with the opposite reaction.
How many actions ahead do most of you guys plan? I must admit, most of
mine are only in the 2-3 range at best. Given that the human mind can do
7 +/- 2 things at once... there's some real long range potential. =)
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Mystery (Commenting on "Talking might or might not distract you from shitty
states, but I'd like to go WAY beyond that into the kind of positive,
fantastic states that are possible for humans to feel. I think it's not
enough to just "not be in a bad mood" -- what's more important and ever so
much more fascinating is to live at the far edge of the wondrous feelings
you can stand to have."):
This is entirely mumbo jumbo. Evolution has 'designed' our emotions. They
are very important to our survival. EVERY emotion motivates our behavior
for the betterment of the host. Instead of trying to be 'happy' all the
time, trust that emotions serve to motivate you in the most productive ways.
Don't MISREAD them, of course, but don't try to IGNORE them by always being
'happy'. Your job is to get the girl to like you whether you like yourself
or not. Whether you are happy or not you still have to make her like you.
(The plus being that once you have here liking you, you BECOME happy.) Feel
like shit ... just get out and talk talk talk. You think a performing
artist on a bad day takes it out on his audience? Emotions are dynamic.
Trying to abstain from any other emotion other than 'happy' is to deny your
humanity. Besides, girls can tell a phony smile a mile away. Stay on
topic. It's not about HOW TO ALWAYS FEEL HAPPY. It's about HOW TO GET
HAPPY BY MAKING A GIRL HAPPY WITH US.
(Commenting on: "Just talking yourself out of bad states wouldn't do that,
of course. What if you were to ask yourself, If I could feel the most
fantastic feelings a human being can ever feel, what would I feel? What
would I choose to feel? How would I feel it? How would I know that I feel
it?
Precision, my friend.. precision."):
AGAIN, THAT IS ALOT OF WORK. IT'S CUMBERSOME AND QUITE FRANKLY UNREALISTIC.
CONSIDER ... LIGHTENING UP. STOP ANALYZING YOUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE. CONSIDER
FOCUSING ON TACTICS AND STRATEGIES FOR CONVEYING A HAPPY PERSONALITY RATHER
THAN WORKING ON INTERNAL MANTRAS AND OTHER SUCH NONSENSE. BE RESULT-
ORIENTED. GET LAID. BE HAPPY THAT WAY. IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU COULD ENJOY
GETTING LAID, WHY ARE YOU EVEN STUDYING THE PUA? (THAT WAS RHETORICAL).
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Adam:
I need advice.
I've really been perfecting my walk-up success. I'm getting a phone number
practically EVERY time I venture into downtown Austin for a 3 to 4 hour
period of time.
However, I'm running into an inordinate amount of women who have absolutely
no reservation about blowing off a "date" (for lack of a better word, I.E.
coffee meeting, hang out, etc...) No phone call cancellation. No
explanation. Nuthin'.
And when there is a "post-meeting" explanation, it's always some bullshit,
so I don't want to have anything further to do with them.
Is this just one of those number games where you've just gotta weed through
the 30% of women who flake (likely because they're hotties and used to
AFC's putting up with their shit?)
P.S. Is there a nice way to say in advance, "If you fuck with my time and
stand me up, I'll be writing, 'Jenny is a child-molester!' on the bathroom
wall at your office!"
My Comment: To me it is clear that you aren't creating enough intense
interest. Or you could really be a man and lay out the rules when you meet
them (in a nice way) letting them know that respect is very important for
you and that people who x, y, or z (don't return calls, flake on meetings,
etc.), are not people that you will get involved with in any way. This is a
problem we all face at one time or another, and comments and ideas would be
appreciated.
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Brother Angel:
(Responding to Flyer: "That is precisely why I am against the proverbial "I
just wanted to say you're stunning....." opening line which has been brought
up a few times in previous editions of this newsletter. Saying this to an HB
is complete SUPPLICATING HORSESHIT!."):
Good point! It sounds like a lot of people don't know how to use this
line. When done right, you never, ever, say it to an HB. Use it on a
7 or 8. A 9 is risky. A 10 is "No Fuckin' Way!" Also, when used to
best advantage, you pick a chyck who's a regular at the bar, club,
store, or whatever, and you use it just before you leave. Then, there's no
possibility that it's a pickup line (she thinks), so the NEXT time you see
her, all her defenses are down. It's a 5-second investment that can pay
dividends later when you're ready to leave and try someplace else.
My Comment: I am sure many will react to your opinion with "But I can't tell
a girl I think she's stunning unless I really think so, and that means 9's &
10's." And I have to say that my experience has been that, when that line
works which is more often than not, it will work on all levels of women.
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