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Women with their attitudes
Fri, 17 Nov 2000 15:25:43 -0500

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Albert:
Never mind about women. Just put in your head the instructions
that follow:

"I am a magnet to beautiful women. I attract beautiful women like a
magnet. I attract beautiful women WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.
I am young, sexy and handsome and beautiful women are
irresistibly attracted to me. No matter what my age, my
looks or physique, they WANT ME, DESIRE ME, WANT TO MAKE
LOVE TO ME. Wherever I go, wherever I am, beautiful women
are all over me. Instead of avoiding me, beautiful women
want to be with me. They find me wonderful, attractive and
desirable in every way. I have incredible luck and incredible
success with beautiful, young women in their late teens and
early twenties. These beautiful, young women are my constant
companions, girlfriends and lovers."

Just keep installing these beliefs into your mind, even if
you are not actively studying your SS material or going out to
hunt them down. If you believe that "you have to do all the work
to get them" ... guess what... you will find yourself doing all the work.
Then, don't blame anybody or anything else for getting exactly what you
believe!!!

There is a way to stop being a "nice" guy pretty fast. I used to
call it 'Insult a woman a day". The objective was to give an INSULT
to AT LEAST one woman every day for about 2-3 weeks. No
goal of picking them up. Just to insult them, until you lost
all your fear of them and you experienced in FULL being a real
JERK. Then, you will be able to operate anywhere in the range from
real nice to a real jerk, ON command. It's amazing how fast you lose
all fears. But it is NOT for the faint of heart.

When I saw it created a couple of monsters, I decided to rename it
"give them low cards" (a la Frank Shark). So, for 2-3 weeks, instead
of outright insulting them, just go around giving them low cards.
like "interesting body, wonder if you have any brains?', "nice body,
I wonder if you're good enough for me". "what's wrong with your hair?
it looks terrible", "lousy dress, is that the latest fashion in Paris?".
Just negative comments to "deflate" them. You will still lose all
fears and stop being such a nice guy FAST.

Some people will object to this method. Most of the time, but NOT always,
the 'nice' guys are the ones who object to this method the most.
The criticism seems to be in DIRECT PROPORTION to the amount of
"nice guy" niceness they have!!!

I found it to be the FASTEST way to lose fear and develop the very desirable
ability to be able to operate, according to the current situation, anywhere
in the range from very nice and loving to totally uncaring and a
real JERK. Only when you experience BOTH sides of the SWING of the
pendulum you will be able to operate at the point of balance and
achieve the best balance possible between being nice and being
tough when needed. Unless you experience the JERK extreme, one will
never really stop being nice and will continue to suffer the nice
guy syndrome. Only those who try this method for the full amount of
time will understand what I am talking about. Those who criticize
this method without trying it for 2-3 weeks will never know what is all
about and will seldom achieve that balance between being nice on one side
and being firm and demanding full respect on the other side.

My Comment: It is interesting how you mention that the Insult a woman a day
idea is "NOT for the faint of heart." A friend of mine who has outstanding
ideas and his own system, mentioned to me recently that his tactics can be
very rough, and they work for him. He knows some guys have a problem getting
as tough as he feels a man needs to be in some circumstances. I am sure many
will hesitate to do this sort of thing in their own home town.

Albert:
What's the reason? If you think it will hurt your business, I would agree
that you have to be more subtle. But... if only your fear of "XX" is keeping
you from being tough (= demand they respect you and treat you as SPECIAL),
then get busy and find out what "XX" is.

Could it be that you value their opinion too much? Could it be that
you depend too much on their approval of you?

Would you be able to say "I don't give a damn what women think or say
about me", "I don't give a damn about their approval" and REALLY, REALLY
mean it?

How do you FEEL ABOUT using the "insult one woman a day"? As I mentioned
before, your "nice guy" score will be directly proportional to how much fear
and excuses you INVENT in order to AVOID DOING IT. It's a very accurate test
!!!

My Comment: The more I think about it, the more I think the prescription is
the right one. It is something drastic, something totally outside of the
usual comfort zone and will probably make the kind of changes that are
needed.

Albert:
That's exactly IT!!! It is so drastic that once you start doing it these
acts will shift your belief system and your VALUES (the need to have women's
approval because they are SOOO valuable !!! - BS !!!) in a very FAST and
DRAMATIC WAY. That's the beauty of it. You change your belief system and
your VALUES by ACTING FIRST.

MAKE SURE THOSE READING THIS UNDERSTAND the 'insult one woman a day' is a
method to quickly shift their belief system and their VALUES (the need to
have women's approval), and NOT a way of life. Once having done it for the
correct amount of time, they will be able to achieve just about the perfect
balance between a BAD boy (whom women love) and the nice fellow phase/side
women also love (BUT ONLY if it is exhibited by a tough guy, not by a WIMP).
After achieving that balance, you will know when to be tough with her and
when to be caring and supportive of her.

My Comment:  As usual, Albert, your comments are truly insightful, helpful,
and tremendously appreciated.

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Ross:
>THIS IS CALLED 'BLURRING'. BLURRING OCCURS WHEN YOU CALL THEM UP AND THEY
>FLUFF YOU OFF OR YOU GET THEIR MACHINES TOO MANY TIMES. I'VE DISCOVERED
THAT
>THE ERROR IS ON THE PART OF THE PUA STILL. DID YOU LAY DOWN YOUR GROUND
>WORK BEFORE THE TWO OF YOU PARTED THAT FIRST MEETING?

I agree with Mys; however, I'd put it another way: Did you establish
the frame that says that YOU are the one SHE must pursue? That YOU
are the one who is scarce, rare, with something to offer HER? That
YOU are the one to adjudge what is desirable, attractive, etc?

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Flyer:
>PS. Did you read that news report that some feminazis
>in Europe make
>their boyfriends piss sitting down on the toilet?
Some >AFC was saying
>"but what can I do about it?" Obviously, he won't
>stand up for
>himself :)

Okay, this makes me think of something a someone had
told me recently and I agree with. And I say this in regards to male/female
relationships. I hear men complain about feminism, etc, and women
with their attitudes, and I myself have complained too. But it's NOT THEIR
FAULT, and this is why:
It is MEN who run the world, not women. It is the male that dominates, not
women. It is men that has created the world we live in for better or for
worse, but the fact remains that men rule the world and all in the world
including all women. If we are complaining about women in today's dating
scene, it is because men have allowed this to happen. It is time that men
reclaim their genitals and NOT put up with crap from women. This is very
radical thinking because all of us have been brought up to think otherwise.
Can you imagine a world where all the HB's do not have an attitude??? Where
all HB's do not
play games??? No bitch shields?? If ALL men in society decide right here,
right now, to not accept this kind of behavior and mentalities from women,
things would be a lot different and much, much better! I had gotten into
this heated discussion with a friend of mine, and then he proceeded to ask
me about where I stand with things like ERA and abortion issues. With
regards to that: equal work for equal pay, and a women should have the right
to choose. My point that I am making applies to the sexual and romantic
relationship between the sexes.
>Stan Riser (Continuing):
>I am curious to know what lines Flyer and Brother
>Angel use on the
>super hot
>women.

I don't use a pick-up line. What I prefer to do, is to
do a Ross Jeffries and think to myself "What about
this girl or this situation that has to be true?"
I get a simple conversation going and work my way
into patterning, rapport, etc. and constantly
calibrate.  And yes, I am too tired of the young girl vs. old chyck
issue. I simply know what I want in an HB, and I'm sure there are quite a
few on the list that want the same thing too, hence I voice my opinion, but
I do
respect that is not going to be the opinion of everyone on the list.

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Marc:
> >Framing, Reframing and Preframing basically are changing the meaning of
an
> >situation, event or decision and changing the focal point of attention.
> ADMITTEDLY CREATIVE STUFF - BUT NOT ALL THAT USEFUL IN THE PUA.

Thanks, and agreed. I was hoping that someone would give it a more useful
application. I also realized later that RJ has done something similar in his
newsletters.
> HERE IS WHY
> ... REFRAMING THE GIRL'S STATEMENT IS TO DO SO ON AN INTELLECTUAL LEVEL.

It is not on an intellectual level per se. It IS about emotions. Can you say
"she does you a favour" vs. "challenge to her"? That is a frame. "...trying
to
pick her up" vs. "giving her an opportunity to show you what she's got".
That's another one. "I need your help to move some boxes" (help frame) vs.
"You would do me a favour if you come tomorrow to move some boxes" (favour
frame, smaller difference here). I'm just lousy at giving examples, and I
was looking for better ones. That's where you people come in.
> INSTEAD, IMAGINE JUST
> REPLYING WITH THE 'EMOTIONS HAVE BEEN DESIGNED THROUGH MILLIONS OF YEARS
AND
> SERVE US' ROUTINE. (ASK CRAIG FOR THE FULL ROUTINE

Okay, if you care about your brothers, Craig, show us the full routine.
> SYNOPSIS. EVERY SINGLE OBJECTION IS REBUTTALLED WITH A 'REASONING'. WHY
USE
> REASON ON A GIRL WHEN YOU CAN APPEAL TO HER EMOTIONS?

True.
> FOR INSTANCE I'M ALOT
> TALLER THAN MANY GIRLS. SOME GIRLS ARE CLEARLY A FOOT OR MORE BELOW ME.
MY
> SOLUTION IS NOT TO WAIT FOR THEM TO MENTION IT AND THEN REFRAME THEIR
> OBJECTION. INSTEAD, I BRING IT UP FIRST.:

That is PRE--framing. A RE--frame comes afterwards. A PRE--frame comes
BEFORE anyone else can bring it up, get it? You SET THE STAGE as one might
say. You have a wacky haircut? Make a joke about it and no one else will.
Tell a story about someone making corny jokes about your hair in a really
irritating way (nasal tone of voice does the trick), and no one else will
even try. Like "I had one guy come up with me the other day and he said
"(nasal voice tone) Wow, you have really strange hair!" "(empathetic voice
tone) Ouch, that hurts, you know? Like, really?" Again, not the best
example, but I hope you get the point. It's also called inoculation. Other
applications, anyone?
> ME: I'M TALL. YOU'RE NOT. ARE YOU OVER IT YET OR DO YOU NEED ANOTHER
MINUTE?
> OTHER UNENLIGHTENED PEOPLE WILL NOT GET OVER IT AS EASILY AS YOU SO I'LL
> GIVE YOU ANOTHER MINUTE. OK? GOOD.

This is hilarious. First you say FRAMING DON'T WORK and then you do it
yourself as a natural habit. You FRAME everyone who doesn't get over your
height as unenlightened and then you give her a CHOICE, right? Right. In the
same way, I framed Craig as a brother who cares, and then ask him to post
your routine. If he doesn't, he wouldn't be a good brother, now would he?

I wrote all this stuff about RE-framing not to be memorized but as a set up
to get thinking about PRE-framing. My main question was and still is :

How do you present everything so that she will interpret everything you say
and do in a romantic or sexual way?

EXAMPLE "Most people don't understand this (e.g. polyamory), but you seem
different. You seem like a really open-minded and bright person." When
presented that way, she will more likely to agree to whatever you present
afterwards BECAUSE that way she can prove to you and to herself that she IS
bright and open-minded, unlike all those other dumb people who just don't
understand.

Excuse my verbosity.

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William:
>Casey:
>months), women have responded to me commenting that I have "too much
>self-confidence." So, my question is:
>"What is the difference between very self confident and arrogant?"

I have had a similar experience, people (men and women) tell me that I am
cocky, arrogant, even intimidating because of my self-esteem/confidence.
What I found that can disarm or bypass this response is to add a healthy
dose of FUN and excitement, and an attitude of "Let's see how much fun we
can have in this situation."

I have also have turned down the confidence just a little bit. Just imagine
a lever/ switch that regulates the amount of confidence/self-esteem and turn
it down a bit.

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Linda:
>Matt:
>I have to comment on the women over 30+ topic. In my experience, women
over
>thirty are really in their prime. They are normally more adventurous, more
>confident, more independent and more sexual than women a lot younger.
While
>women a lot younger normally don't want a relationship or to get married,
if
>you find a woman who is in her late 20's - early to mid 30's then normally
>at this stage she will have worked out whether she wants to get married
and
>have a long term relationship or not in which case she will normally tell
>you up front. I think women over 30 play a lot less games than younger
>women and for me that is a big plus. Some of them really know how to look
>after their bodies as well where as younger women will rely on their youth
>and tend to be a bit lazier. Older women tend to be a lot more confident
>and you can talk to them like an adult and if you don't like something or
>have to be blunt they normally take it pretty well. And for the last 5
>years (I am 29) I have always gone out with women who were 3-5 years older
>than me. Anyway, that is my experience. Some of them I would have loved to
>have gotten involved when they were 25 but I think maturity is a much more
>favourable attribute than a hot body and shitty attitudes.

Thanks for another perspective on this issue!
>Casey:
>I have "cleaned out" my self perceptions and self-image to the point where
>recently (last 6 months), women have responded to me commenting that I
have
"too >much self-confidence." So, my question is:
>"What is the difference between very self confident and arrogant?"
>I'm asking as it seems to be getting in the way of laying more women!

Perhaps the question should be, "What do people DO and SAY that makes others
call them 'arrogant'? And how does that behavior differ from that of someone
whom most would call 'self-confident'?"

Also, what are the women responding to when they say you have "too much
self-confidence"? And who are these women? Do they prefer men who make a few
self-deprecating remarks from time to time instead of a guy who is
constantly telling them how wonderful he is while never acknowledging his
shortcomings?

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TGB666
> "What is the difference between very self confident and arrogant?"
> I'm asking as it seems to be getting in the way of laying more women!

It's in the eye of the beholder. If you don't treat them right then you're
considered arrogant. To avoid this response you would have to be friendly
and helpful (in their perspective).
> The biological model of the Alpha Male» (which I'm
> more familiar with) is the male everyone respects and fears because
> your ass _will_ get kicked if you cross him. Ultimately, being that
> type of Alpha Male» is self-limiting. Yes, domination is fun, but being
> that way all the time is like waving your sword at everything you see

I try not to be alpha all the time cause a) you can learn things from people
and b) cannot make them be themselves if you dominate them. They WILL change
if they feel you are so much stronger than them; can be quite funny. People
try to be at their best when with alphas, but sometimes their best is
someone else's best.
> THAT is a very well put statement that exactly reflects my comments on
> quality of encounter.

Sometimes we just have to be true to ourselves and let these feelings come
through, I am in no way sensitive but sometimes I just have to reflect my
emotion ;)
> Once you recognize and appreciate [bitch shield] then it becomes
> much easier
> to get past. You can even laugh with them at this behavior.

That's brilliant
> TO SEE YOU SOON. LASTLY, NO MORE COFFEE DATES. IF THE WORD COFFEE
> COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, YOU FUCKED UP.

That applies! I just remembered speaking of caffeine to an HB (because I was
too tired) and was wondering that when we met again she called me a
caffeine-junky and kept a certain distance from me. Now, maybe she related
this to that, maybe I just seemed too dumb

Re: Blurring babes: >letting them know that respect is very
> important for you and that people who x, y, or z (don't return
> calls, flake on
> meetings, etc.), are not people that you will get involved with in any
> way.

This they know. Do they want you get involved? You just shouldn't go for
coffee or a movie at first. Find intense mutual INTEREST to which is bonded
to you. Bruce Willis isn't.
> THERE ARE ONLY 2 TYPES OF GIRLS (ON THE BINARY SYSTEM) .... 0's and 1's.
> MYSTERY'S AXIOM: "TREAT A SHB LIKE AN UG AND AN UG LIKE A SHB."

Why? What does this lead to?
> ASK CRAIG FOR THE FULL ROUTINE CAUSE I'M ON MY LAPTOP

No small caps?
> ME: I'M TALL. YOU'RE NOT. ARE YOU OVER IT YET OR DO YOU NEED
> ANOTHER MINUTE?
> OTHER UNENLIGHTENED PEOPLE WILL NOT GET OVER IT AS EASILY AS YOU SO I'LL
> GIVE YOU ANOTHER MINUTE. OK? GOOD.

You are giving her an opportunity to drop you a minute later, or two.
Speaking of unenlightened, judging absent unmentioned people negatively IS
arrogant.
> attractive men here
> approaching attractive women and I just wanted to warn you
> because you never
> know when something like this could happen to you...."?

This is an obvious line. Obvious lines stimulate shields. She's gonna be
careful?
> but I think there should be an unwritten rule

Why not offer to take her to a place (room or else) that's less
crowded/silly/dangerous? This is perfect after a bitch-shield-showcase (or,
what I dislike even more, these chycks leading A guy by the nose - hey,
you're bored or what?).
> [She offered her number] After about three attempts to get a hold of her,
she
> finally answered and just gave me the weirdest vibe in the world!!!

Cell-phone alpha girl?
> [I had a] feeling the other night that you took my name in your mind and
> tossed it in a pile with names of losers you've met who only respect the
> physical side of you."

Was it a feeling/thought or do you dream abstract things? Well, dreaming is
good. Maybe it was that old address book she was throwing away or you were
finding?
> People try to be at their best when
> with alphas [...]

Here I comment on myself: I came to think that maybe it's not the
alpha+person that makes alpha- perform at their peak but the "leader",
someone who respects people and gives them the balls to make mistakes
instead of cutting them. That may be the difference between alpha+leader and
alpha-aggressor: the alpha+ thinks with others, not for them, and laughs
with them, plays with them... You better be good.
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