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Consider a better training mission
Sun, 19 Nov 2000 09:37:57 -0500
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Of course the big news this month for those of us in Montreal is that Major
Mark Cunningham is coming May 9-13 to give his hypnosis seminar, Awakening
Unafraid. For those of you who don't know who Mark is, he is that uniquely
talented co-trainer with Ross Jeffries at Ross's Speed Seduction» seminars.
Stay tuned here for more information and visit his website at
www.trucor.com. Mark's tentative seminar schedule for 2001 is:
Jan 12-14 Basic Hypnosis in L.A.
Feb ??-?? Stage Hypnosis in Las Vegas
Mar 16-18 Special Topics: Adventures In ThoughtCrime -- Designing and
Imprinting Your OWN Belief System, In Taos
May 9-13 Awakening Unafraid in Montreal
Jul ??-?? Stage Hypnosis in Wash. D.C.
Sep 14-16 Advanced Hypnosis: Ultra-Depth, Mentalism and Beyond in Boulder
Oct ??-?? Advanced Stage: Non-verbal Hypnosis in L.A.
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Albert:
I wonder what would happen if we use our NLP knowledge and re-arrange
our values in such a way that our number ONE value is SELF-LOVE ("I love
myself unconditionally"). As we love ourselves unconditionally and
admire and praise all the great qualities we ALL possess, by the LAW of
BELIEF, the world should reflect to us our own self-love by returning
to us the love we want. And since we really love ourselves, women
should automatically love us as well. That is what "we create our own
reality" means. Do you think it is worth trying?
After all, when you put a woman on a pedestal (or anybody else for that
matter), aren't you really stating to the world "I am not good enough
to be on that pedestal, that's why I put her/him there" ?
It is alright to adopt role models we admire for their accomplishments AS
LONG AS we keep in mind that we have the capabilities to perform just as
well and EVEN BETTER. It is all limited by what we believe about ourselves.
I believe NLP, a GREAT tool, doesn't go far enough. Its goals seem to be
too modest, even shy. Or could it be that the fellows who sponsor NLP
are using it in a very limited way??? (I think they are using NLP in a
very limited way without pushing the outer envelope).
Use the 'insult one woman a day" and monitor the results. I recommend
you use it on those women you would LOVE to meet, not on the less fortunate
ones who are not as pretty. F. Shark's suggestion of giving LOW cards to
pretty women and HIGH cards to the less fortunate ones is EXCELLENT.
Test yourself by giving LOW cards to those you want to meet, not to those
you are NOT interested in the least. (Compliment the not so pretty ones
to help their self-esteem and give LOW cards to the pretty ones to "deflate'
them, make them realize they are not that special and bring them down to the
level where they really belong.)
Even though some people LOVE Tony Robbins and others HATE him, he is
absolutely correct when he warns people to watch what vocabulary they use
(Chapter on Transformational Vocabulary, "AWAKEN THE GIANT WITHIN").
I see people in this group working against their own goals by referring
to some women as 'absolutely stunning", a TEN, a 10++. Isn't it MORE
USEFUL to start referring to them as "pretty" and NOT "pretty' and in your
own mind you will bring them down from that pedestal and make them smaller
and much more attainable/accessible? It is the same idea of "believing that
whatever you have to do will be Easy and Fun" that Emile Coue mentioned in
his teachings. She is "pretty" gives YOU a lot more power/leverage than
looking at her as absolutely stunning and SOOOOOOO desirable!!! Think about
it...
A score system of 0 or 1, pretty or not pretty could lot more useful than
1,2,3....8, 9,10,10+, 10++, 10+++... And it gives YOU a lot more power.
It is just a matter of using NLP and REFRAMING the entire situation to YOUR
ADVANTAGE.
I remember Emile Coue saying in his little book "Always think that
what you have to do will be easy and you will make it so". I would
change it to "EASY and FUN".
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Sam_mpegonly:
If women were really looking for "nice guys", they would not be
spending so much time with the obvious dicks on this list (see
http://www.disgruntledhousewife.com/). Note how
much crap most of the women endure before they finally realize what a
bad catch they got - and a lot of them still miss their dicks and
jerks... and keep running back to jerks time-and-time again. Forget
being a "nice guy" it doesn't work! Woman want jerks! Most woman
until 30-35 endure jerks - then they want a nice guy. Some woman
NEVER learn. If you're a young man, be a "nice" jerk and not an
abusive one! Have respect for yourself and don't go kissing a woman's
ass or she'll walk all over you. Nice guys always finish last and
end up with jerk used women. Beware... being a jerk gets women.
Nice guys stay home on Saturday nights playing with Mr. Winky. Jerks
have all the woman they want and more.
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Here's a link you may find of interest from a health email newsletter I get:
PROMISCUITY PAYS
Primate species that usually have many mating partners also have more
white blood cells and possibly different immune responses from those
that are monogamous. The Economist reports.
http://www.economist.com/science/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=417801
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Colin:
I have a small lesson I learned last Saturday night. A friend and I were at
a
local meat market and were watching three girls dancing in front of us on
the dance floor. One was a 9 or so, the others were UG...obstacles. HB and I
hit it off great right away, separating from the group we groped and fondled
each other for 3 hours (hehehe). But twice I tried to kiss her on the lips
and she evaded, left me confused. So instead, I gave up trying to kiss her
and fingered her on the dance floor! She was bucking me up against the back
of the dance floor, lol! (We were facing each other, my hand was hidden
between the two of us.) I couldn't kiss her but it appears going down her
pants is open territory, figure that! I found out later she was married and
assume that was why she wouldn't let me kiss her. I have heard that hookers
don't let you kiss them, because they consider that sacred or something -
but
I don't think this applies here. This is I what I think the lesson is: I
think she anticipated I would try to kiss her and (in a pre-meditated sense)
had already constructed an automatic response to evade me. However, not
anticipating I'd unzip her pants and get her off she had not constructed any
automatic response to it and the only response she had available at the time
was to let me continue. It likely helped that she was into me, but there is
definitely something to this theory. I remember reading an NLP book on
bypassing a person's resistance by doing something that they don't expect
and
have no automatic response for, their eyes glaze over in confusion and they
let you lead. I think this phenomenon applies here. Also worth noting, she
didn't mind kissing after she came!
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Mystery:
(Commenting on: "There is a way to stop being a "nice" guy pretty fast. I
used to call it 'Insult a woman a day". The objective was to give an
INSULT to AT LEAST one woman every day for about 2-3 weeks. No
goal of picking them up. Just to insult them, until you lost all your fear
of them and you experienced in FULL being a real JERK."):
Consider a better training mission. Why insult a woman in your training
mission when you can still approach them and innocuously NEG them? The
mission is not to make yourself NOT FEAR them through CONTROL but to
familiarize yourself with the feeling that consistently appears inside when
faced with a beautiful woman (the AWARE state). So ALBERT says, go out and
approach a girl a day. Then INSULT her and exit. Here is another mission:
MYSTERY says go out into a public gathering FOUR days a week, for 4 HOURS a
day and approach 12 girls in that time. In that approach, concentrate on
your opener and your NEG's in particular. If you MUST use a NEG for your
OPENER (which is still shooting yourself in the foot - but since you KNOW
you won't get the girl anyway with this behavior the expectation to succeed
is removed and your ANTICIPATORY ANXIETY is therefore lowered) then be sure
to direct it towards the TARGET and not the target's OBSTACLES in her group.
Now that you have OPENED, you can EJECT with a, "pleasure meeting you."
You don't EXPECT to succeed, you don't PLAN on going through the ATTRACT or
CLOSE phase and your job is only to OPEN. Why must the OPENER be a NEG
though? Albert is ASSUMING the girls you approach will be 1:1. Those as the
pro PUA's know are quite rare. AND ... I believe Albert isn't talking about
APPROACHING the target so much as accidentally interacting with a target ...
like a cashier or person in a line. The problem with Albert's mission is
that ... well, it's lame ass and wimpy. Only ONE girl a day?
What can you get from that? You aren't even proactively SEEKING a target
with this mission. That is FAILURE ONE. You aren't intending on seeking
MANY targets in a short time (public gatherings). FAILURE TWO. You aren't
acknowledging that targets are mostly surrounded by some friends (at least 1
other girl anyway) FAILURE THREE. Finally, you are ASSURING yourself a tough
time by OPENING with a NEG. How about increasing your learning curve and
your familiarity with approaching women by increasing the QUANTITY of
approaches? OPEN with the TANGERINE OPENER (available in The PUA Lounge
http://communities.msn.ca/MysterysPUAPickUpArtistLounge/) for example. It
initiates the chat which is what you are supposed to do. Then you can simply
EJECT anytime you want. Then? NEXT, APPROACH, EJECT, NEXT. The Elvis Script
is one such tame OPENER. Albert's concept is a pale
wimpy regurgitation of my NEWBIE MISSION (above.) Grab your balls and GET
OUT MORE. It is not on an intellectual level per se. It IS about emotions.
(Commenting on: "Can you say "she does you a favour" vs. "challenge to her"?
That is a frame. "...trying to pick her up" vs. "giving her an opportunity
to show you what she's got". That's another one. "I need your help to move
some boxes" (help frame) vs. "You would do me a favour if you come tomorrow
to move some boxes" (favour frame, smaller difference here). I'm just lousy
at giving examples, and I was looking for better ones. That's where you
people come in."):
Mystery writes: very interesting view.
(Commenting on: ">INSTEAD, IMAGINE JUST
>REPLYING WITH THE 'EMOTIONS HAVE BEEN DESIGNED THROUGH MILLIONS OF YEARS
AND
>SERVE US' ROUTINE. (ASK CRAIG FOR THE FULL ROUTINE
Okay, if you care about your brothers, Craig, show us the full
routine.
>SYNOPSIS. EVERY SINGLE OBJECTION IS REBUTTALLED WITH A 'REASONING'. WHY
USE
>REASON ON A GIRL WHEN YOU CAN APPEAL TO HER EMOTIONS?
True.
>FOR INSTANCE I'M ALOT
>TALLER THAN MANY GIRLS. SOME GIRLS ARE CLEARLY A FOOT OR MORE BELOW ME. MY
>SOLUTION IS NOT TO WAIT FOR THEM TO MENTION IT AND THEN REFRAME THEIR
>OBJECTION. INSTEAD, I BRING IT UP FIRST.:
That is PRE--framing. A RE--frame comes afterwards. A PRE--frame
comes BEFORE anyone else can bring it up, get it? You SET THE STAGE as
one might say. You have a wacky haircut? Make a joke about it and no one
else will. Tell a story about someone making corny jokes about your hair in
a really irritating way (nasal tone of voice does the trick), and no one
else will even try. Like "I had one guy come up with me the other day and
he said "(nasal voice tone) Wow, you have really strange hair!"
"(empathetic voice tone) Ouch, that hurts, you know? Like, really?" Again,
not the best example, but I hope you get the point. It's also called
inoculation. Other applications, anyone?
>ME: I'M TALL. YOU'RE NOT. ARE YOU OVER IT YET OR DO YOU NEED ANOTHER
MINUTE?
>OTHER UNENLIGHTENED PEOPLE WILL NOT GET OVER IT AS EASILY AS YOU SO I'LL
>GIVE YOU ANOTHER MINUTE. OK? GOOD.
This is hilarious. First you say FRAMING DON'T WORK and then you
do it yourself as a natural habit. You FRAME everyone who doesn't get
over your height as unenlightened and then you give her a CHOICE, right?
Right. In the same way, I framed Craig as a brother who cares, and then ask
him to post your routine. If he doesn't, he wouldn't be a good brother, now
would he?"):
Mystery writes: Hmm - interesting point. I suppose we try to reframe
their emotions. If the girl has an ISSUE with you (whereby you aren't
compatible to what she REASONS she wants) you don't have to REASON WHY she
should accept you. Instead, you go beyond that to REFRAME her EMOTIONALLY.
:)
Commenting on: ("I wrote all this stuff about RE-framing not to be memorized
but as a set up to get thinking about PRE-framing. My main question was and
still is :
How do you present everything so that she will interpret everything you say
and do in a romantic or sexual way?
EXAMPLE "Most people don't understand this (e.g. polyamory), but
you seem different. You seem like a really open-minded and bright
person." When presented that way, she will more likely to agree to whatever
you present afterwards BECAUSE that way she can prove to you and to herself
that she IS bright and open-minded, unlike all those other dumb people who
just don't understand.
Excuse my verbosity."):
Mystery Continues:
Riiight. Interesting. We verbalize how WE view them (we create this image
we have for them consciously) and they play the role because they like the
way the role makes them feel. This is very strong stuff. I do this. I
just don't have that a part of my method on paper. It's all part and parcel
to veiled compliments. You do it not only to flatter them but to build the
character they will want to play. So I have an important question: what
characteristics should we 'perceive' her to be so she can be it? What
characteristics would be most helpful for us? To give compliments like,
"You are very intelligent. Forgive me for being surprised" (which I have
used) is therefore not NEARLY as good as, "Your are very connected with your
emotions. You seem to really listen to them. Forgive me for being
surprised." This seems to account for the success that palm reading and
such has ... you TELL the girl how you view her and she then BECOMES that
person for you. But only is she agrees, is flattered and wants to.
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