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Like Batman, be prepared
1/15/01 5:38:31 PM Eastern Standard Time
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There are a lot of new readers here lately, so here are some links which
will give you tons of great information:
http://www.fas.speed-seduction.com/ - Formhandle's A.S.F. archive, FAQ, and PUA
registry
http://www.layguide.com - Tony's Lay Guide, NOW COMMERCIAL
http://www.pickupguide.com - Maniac High's PUA Archive
http://www.speed-seduction.com - Ross Jeffries site (see the newsletters)
http://www.seductionnow.com - This site has a lot that an aspiring PUA needs
to know.
http://www.trucor.com - Major Mark's site.
And let's not forget Mystery's Lounge (send me an email asking about it and
I will forward it on to Mystery).
And don't forget these seminars:
Ross Jeffries:
Speed Seduction» Seminars, 2001
LA Jan 19, 20, 21st
Chicago April 27, 28, 29
London, England June 15, 16th 17th
NYC July 27th, 28th, 29th
Montreal, Canada August (Exact Date to be announced)
Magick/psychic Influence Seminars, 2001
LA, Feb 23, 24th, 25th
Orlando, May 25, 26th 27th
Major Mark's Seminar Schedule for 2001 is the following:
Jan 12-14 Basic Hypnosis in L.A.
Feb 09-11 Stage Hypnosis in Las Vegas
Mar 16-18 Special Topics: Adventures In ThoughtCrime -- Designing and
Imprinting Your OWN Belief System, In Taos
May 9-13 Awakening Unafraid in Montreal
Jul 06-08 Stage Hypnosis in Wash. D.C.
Sep 14-16 Advanced Hypnosis: Deep Trance, Mentalism and Beyond in Boulder
Oct 12-14 Advanced Stage: Non-verbal Hypnosis in L.A.
For additional information on Ross's seminars, contact Dr. Yates Canipe at
yat***j@ix***.com[ ? ] or visit the website at www.speed-seduction.com. For Major
Mark, visit www.trucor.com.
For women, check out http://www.therulesbook.com/
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Ross:
>BUT, here's my take on it. First and foremost, they want a man that is in
>CONTROL. (Of the situation, himself, his emotions, other people, her.
>Control of the entire reality that they share.)
>
>Let me ask you, if you were a woman that wanted to test a man to see if he
>will stay in control, how would you do it? Would you ask the man "If I get
>out of hand, will you spank me and put me in my place?"
>
>NO FUCKING WAY!!!
>
>So they test us by CHALLENGING to see if we'll stay in control. The reason
I
>do all of this "Never give a woman a direct answer, unless it's NO. Never
>give a woman exactly what she wants." etc. is, ironically, to give her what
>she REALLY wants: a man that's in control.
Yesterday, I had a very interesting breakfast with a young lady,
23, who was recounting her various experiences with men.
She said something very interesting. She was recounting how she
used to, due to her own insecurities, date lots of "nice guys".
She said, "You can make love with a nice guy. But you can't FUCK
them. You can't FFFFFFuck someone you have power over!"
Hmmmmm......(She paid for her own breakfast too!)
>I was pointing out the DISTINCTIONS that make me attractive to the super
>hotties that I'm after.
>
>Most of the time, I'm enjoying myself, talking about whatever comes up,
>making jokes, and generally behaving like a normal person.
Kewl; ok, that wasn't clear to me. You had made a post about NEVER
showing enthusiasm. That seemed to be to be the stereo-typical
strong, silent, sullen guy I see so often with super-hotties.
You know the type? He's there pouting, looking totally cold, while
she does everything in her power to kiss him up, rub on him, and he
just DOESN'T respond.
>What's interesting is that because I usually (but not always) do these
>teasing and seemingly controlling things with a bit of a dry humor spin, I
>believe that the woman that I'm with has an internal response like "Wow,
>this guy is cocky, but I can't tell if he's serious or not. And I want to
>find out. But either way, he's funny and he's staying interested in me,
and
>not being flagrantly abusive, so he must be interested at SOME level."
Adding in the humor is the crucial element and Sis is right on the
money. My married yoga teacher who is completely fascinated by me
said, "I can see women would think you are arrogant, but you aren't.
You are COCKY. Arrogant people don't have a sense of humor and you
are funny as hell!"
>The key is to WATCH FOR THE TESTS and be ready when they come.
I agree. Like Batman, be prepared.
>Cliff is waaaay right on this one. Persistence is key. Never give up. If a
>woman says "We're not going to have sex tonight" I immediately think to
>myself "Ohhh, she just let me know that she's feeling some temptation and
>wants to get the responsibility off of herself. This is going to be fun and
>easy."
It's smart not to take much of what a woman says at face value. Is
this because they are DELIBERATELY lying?
No, I don't think so at all. While a very few ARE deliberate,
flat-out, conscious liars, MOST women are very confused as to what
they really want.
They are bouncing around between what they have been told,
SOCIALLY they should do, want, feel, act, have and what the are USED
to doing, having, feeling, etc. that the conflict drives them nutty.
And when people are confused, almost always the LAST thing they
want is to resolve it for themselves.
Anymore, when a woman says something to me of importance, I
silently, mentally append the following in front of it:
IT IS MY CURRENT PERCEPTION OF MY REALITY THAT........
Example. Oh, my boyfriend..he's my soul-mate.
becomes:
"IT IS MY CURRENT PERCEPTION OF MY REALITY THAT my boyfriend is my
soul-mate".
As Cliff has said (at least privately to me), YOU NEVER MEET THE
WOMAN YOU WANT WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HER BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS GOT ALL THE
TESTS AND OTHER STUFF RUNNING AND GOING ON. So you've got to be prepared for
and successfully handle it.
Great post; you've cleared things up nicely.
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Marc:
To Sisonpyh:
>From your comments in previous issues, especially the one where your female
friend recommended Lady Chatterly's Lover as a guide to the female psyche, I
sense that you are interested in exploring deeper structures of women's
romantic psychology. If that is the case, Women and Desire by Polly
Young-Eisendrath may be an interesting read for you. It's a well-researched
book by a woman, who is also a psychoanalyst, feminist, Buddhist and
Jungian. The analysis of the influence of society on female desires and
power is intelligent, insightful and brutally honest. In fact, curiously, in
many ways, it reminds me of Ross' train of thought of setting a woman free
to be everything what she wants and more. In case you are interested, I
could write up a decent review once I have read it fully.
>Craig:
> Now does anyone have any ideas on how to
> let a girl know you are good in bed BEFORE
> you get to the bedroom without being blatant
> or being a good dancer or kisser?)
The above question could also be phrased "what qualities does a good lover
have?" or "how do women spot a good lover?"
Possibly, the answers are a person should be/seem passionate, open-minded,
exudes sexuality, healthy and fit, talks romantically or is comfortable
talking about sex.
Or you could just ask her, and mirror back those qualities in a different
context to make it less blatant. Ask her what she likes in a good dancer, or
in a kiss as a metaphor?
> Alan:
> I'm just about to LJBF a chick who is low drive and who
> "doesn't have much sexual experience" (her words).
> She has little experience, IMHO, because she has little
> interest. So she fails my screen. I like her: she's smart and
> educated, she has integrity, she's interesting to talk to. But
> for me, spending sarging/sexual time with her would be a waste.
Alan, I am assuming that you haven't been with her sexually yet, the
following comments are not directed at you, but more of a general
observation. And since sexual adventurism seems to be a major screening
criteria for many men on this list, perhaps the women on Clifford's list
can comment on it as well.
She has to have had an incredible sexual experience to feel the desire to do
it again. Desire only arises when something was pleasurable or satisfying,
and has now gone missing. Polly Young-Eisendrath suggests that women feel
guilty about their lack of desire, even though their lack of enjoyment is
the real problem (in Women and Desire, an interesting book that deals
amongst other things with society's influence on women's social
programming). This would also partly explain Sisopyh's success, he
personally creates the desire for more.
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Marc:
It strikes me that at a point for a number of seductionists on this list,
something seems to click, come together, just fits, is completely obvious,
i.e. GameMaster aka Devilboy in his last post. Now, wouldn't it be
interesting in addition to studying the process of falling in love and
attraction, to understand what process or what steps people, and men in
particular, go through on their way to become a good seductionist?
Therefore, my question is directed towards those who have developed a high
skill level. Are there special changes, events or realizations on your
journey that you have found to be very important to become who you are now?
And in what order did you become aware of those?
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Bjorn:
I have a question to the PUA's of the group. I am wondering how the PUA's
treat HB's that have rejected them or pulled the "bitch shield" on them. Do
the PUA's completely ignore these females after that point? Do the PUA's
stay mad at these females? Or do PUA's just act like nothing happened and
continue to say hi to them (or smile at them)? My method is to completely
ignore females that have rejected me but now I am thinking this is major AFC
supplication???
My Comment: Just to get this straight, "to supplicate" means to propose
from a junior position. Once you understand its true meaning, all this
concern over supplicating (which I keep seeing people commenting on and not
convincing me that they really know what the word means) is a lot clearer.
Bjorn (continuing):
Also, in a previous posting someone asked what to do if you break the 3
second rule? I am at the point where I am about to approach an HB but then
as I approach I detour and decide to go to the men's room to check my hair
or something. My question is whether I should eject at this point or go
through with the approach even though I broke the 3 second rule.
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Vinigarr:
Here's a gimmick/trick I use to plant a kiss on an HB.
Plan set to pick her up with my car. Before I get
there, I adjust her seat in the robo-cop position.
(All the way forward, totally inclined position.)
When she gets in the car, I immediately
lean over (to adjust the seat) while looking at her
in the eyes (she's thinking.. "he's gonna kiss me" or
"what's he gonna do") I say "relax and get more comfortable"
and I adjust the seat (the idea of me kissing her is now hers,
and she is in mild trance caused by the confusion of the move ).
While I'm almost on top of her adjusting the seat, I say "mmmmmm
smells wonderful.." and smell her neck all around. I then say
"I'm wondering.......... it's either oil.. or .. perfume" and then lick
her neck (in case it comes up: I can tell the difference, by tasting).
Depending on the response to that I'll either go for the kiss, or resume
to driving the car while I ask an interrupt question like "would you
happen to know.... if it's supposed to rain on Thursday?"
Later, when I want to start Kino, I use the smell the neck thing
and since I've done it before, she's already warmed up for it :)
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Optimus:
I have a question for the group. Many of us agree that women want a man
that they can't control. They want a man who is in control of himself among
other things. And that the way they figure out if they can control you or
not, or if you're in control or not, is to test you. If you pass her tests
in a way that makes you appear to be someone she can't control, then she
becomes more attracted to you, etc. Many guys fail because they supplicate
and give in to her demands and so forth, and in general most women don't
want a guy who will supplicate to her. What I wonder is, why is it, that
sometimes guys can supplicate and "pass" very few tests, and will still end
up in a relationship with an HB? We've all had relationships like that
prior to learning about SS or PUA, where we supplicated like every other
typical AFC. How does that happen? Or maybe we know a friend who is
involved in a relationship with a hot chick and he supplicates, gives in to
her demands, and she has the upper hand in the relationship. How does this
sort of thing happen, when women are supposed to be attracted to men who are
in control and don't supplicate? Shouldn't women be turned off by a guy who
is weak and constantly supplicates to her? To be honest, this has me
baffled. The only answer I can think of, is the women who actually are
attracted to guys who supplicate and aren't in control are really just
manipulative chicks who get off in having boy toys that they can control
like puppets. Am I right? Either that, or they simply have never met a man
who would call her on her bullshit, not supplicate, and be totally in
control of himself, and that they just accept reality as that she will
ALWAYS have power over men, and men will always give in to her just because
that's "how it is."
I mean, I look at some of my friends relationships and the frame is totally
wrong. And I just can't figure it out.
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Ross:
>Vinigarr:
> > Here are a couple of topics I'd like to see comments on:
> > The Roll of Persistence
>
>A friend of mine (has been with over 500 women) said
>that the roll of persistence has been the key in
>seducing all the women he has been with.
>
>He says that unless a woman tells him
>"don't call me any more" he will continue to
>call her and pitch for the meet. His rationale
>is, if she doesn't tell him to stop calling,
>then there is some interest, and persistence is
>what overcomes the resistance.
Actually, looked at from a Magickal perspective, as long as the
person is resisting, then on SOME level of their mind there is a
representation of you. In other words, RESISTANCE is not the same as
completely putting you out of their mind. There IS a mental link in
there, somewhere.
Someone once wrote about suggestion; at first they (suggestions) are
resisted....then tolerated...then accepted...
The catch is to keep rules of respect running......what happens if
these women blow him off, cancel on him, say "yes" verbally but "no"
with their actions. Does he keep coming back WITHOUT calling them on
it? I surely hope not. That isn't just resisting on their part, that
is CONTEMPTING.
>He says using this tactic they either become a customer
>or tell him to get lost, which is only about 10% of the time.
What about stand-ups, flaking, cancellations? Hmmm?????
>AND how many guys have the balls
>and ability to maintain composure after getting blown off a few times..
>I am strong, I know what I want, and I go for it.. my persistence shows
>my beliefs."
What if she seriously disses him as well as resists?
>Broadaxe:
>
>And a question for Ross: With all due respect, if you can "do a 5 minute
>phobia cure and whack-out someone's fear" then why do many dudes who have
>gone to your seminars still have a fear of approaching women?
You missed what I said. I said, "a phobia". A phobia is NOT the
same as "fear" or "anxiety". A phobia is a one-trial learning with
massive, paralyzing, negative feeling attached.
Phobias have internal structures that are tailor-made for one
session removal. That is NOT the same as a general fear or anxiety
from a situation.
Handling THAT takes practice and daily investment of focus on
building in what you would LIKE to have.
Now, I don't know about "so many dudes" in my seminar still having
a fear of approaching women. I don't think that is necessarily true.
Those who do the work and the drills GET THE RESULTS. Those who don't do the
drills and expect ME to magically fix them do NOT get the
results.
(to GameMaster):
>Don't think I don't know and appreciate the source of all this
>as crazy as it sounds but that's one reason I can pull off this
>'spiritual' bit cause it's so sincere. But you know, God
GOD? I thought you were talking about ME! Ha ha ha ha.
>This is the 'hot guy' pattern I mentioned to you earlier.
(Snip) Great pattern! I like it! Please, do accept my invitation
to attend my next SS seminar as my personal guest of honor! Great,
GREAT stuff!
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Halbster:
Recently, a special friend sent me the following:
> The minute I heard my first love story
> I started looking for you, not knowing
>
> how blind that was.
>
> Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
>
> They're in each other all along. - Rumi
Rumi was one of the greatest love poets that ever lived, and he is well
worth
checking out.
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Tristan:
Food for thought at http://www.pickupguide.com/control.htm
My Comment: The link above tells the story of Maniac High's experience with
three women who, in different ways, like to experience a man in control. As
this is a particularly popular topic here lately, you might want to read
that report and comment on it here.
Tristan (Continuing):
Here is something I found recently:
A NEG HIT is a qualifier. The girl is FAILING to meet your high
expectations. It's not an insult, just a judgement call on your part. The
better looking the girl, the more aggressive you must be with using neg
hits. A 10 can get 3 neg hits up front, while an 8 only 1 or 2 over a
longer time. You CAN go overboard if they think you are BETTER than them
You can drop the self-esteem right from under them (just like
most 10's do to guys) and this isn't good. You have to get as close to the
breaking point as you can without crossing the line. Once you have
gotten her RIGHT THERE, you can start appreciating things about her (NEVER
LOOKS). There is a mutual RESPECT now. Something most
guys never get from the girl.
This is how you remove a bitch shield. 3 neg hits oughta do it within 2 or
3 minutes of neutral chat. Once it is down, you can from a mutual
respect place, seduce her.
And here is a brilliant neg hit!!!!!!
Guy: What do you do?
Gal: Oh, I'm a model.
Guy: Oh, like a hand model or something?
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Marc.:
Sisonpyh recommended a number of books without mentioning the authors.
Who are the authors of these books?
Bad Boys by Carole Lieberman (?)
Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women by Jayne Ann Krentz (?)
How to Succeed With Women By Being A Jerk by ??
Endless Rapture by ??
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Josh:
Does anyone out there have good routines for AOL
personals? They seem to be a different beast than
other personals... the girls get many more
responses (one stripper I met IRL from AOL said she got
over 100 emails a day) and SS just doesn't seem to cut
it when responding to their ads.
I know that Riker covered this in Methods and Masters,
is it worth getting? I got an IM from a girl today
that said my response seemed pre-written, but she
thought I was cute so she IM'd me anyways... nice, but
SS seemed to actually hurt rather than help in this
instance.
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Zvi:
I happened to agree with lots of the fantastic stuff Sisonpyh wrote, so let
me concur. I'm still behind on some of the recent emails, so pardon me if
I'm repeating what others have said.
I wouldn't say that you should NEVER give her exactly what she wants, I'm
all for making a woman supremely happy, but the way to do it is NOT what
would seem logical to us guys, i.e., in a straightforward manner.
(1) First off, you should NEVER make her BLASÉ. That's obvious and goes for
long-term and short-term. She must always be a [little bit] on her toes.
Being content takes away the excitement. Women used to feel COMFORTABLE
around me, and that's GOOD, except that in the past it would END with
that -- and that's a SHITTY position to be in. I learned that COMFORT should
be a given, like background music, but on its own it never leads anywhere.
This is obvious.
(2) Second, she MUST work for it, and show that she's WORTHY of it.
Otherwise they take it for granted. You value something that you've worked
for.. you don't value something you just got gratuitously, even if its
actual value is high. Personally I don't measure something by how much I had
to work for it, but most people do, and that's certainly how women think.
(3) Re Mixed Messages. You don't want to leave her all CONFUSED, of course,
but you should never be PREDICTABLE. There's a fine line. Mixed messages
make you less PREDICTABLE. Predictable guys are boring. The moment she can
anticipate what you'll do, you're history.
Mixed messages are also a form of fractionation: one minute you're super
flirtatious or super deep, and the next minute you're doing or saying
something totally unexpected, something silly, off the wall, whatever. It
creates intrigue, confusion, makes her more suggestible, etc.
(4) I agree that you should never give her a direct answer (unless the
answer is NO), but don't be EVASIVE. Again, there's a fine line. Being
evasive creates MISTRUST, as if you're hiding something. So you give her an
answer, with a spin, just enough for her to feel that she kind of got an
answer but not 100%. She has to feel that it's hard to pin you down.
(5) She must always feel that deep down you're actually a passionate guy,
with deeper emotions than you display.. and that THAT is just a bit elusive.
She has to feel that she CAN get to the "real" you, with enough work on her
end, but it's just a bit outside of her reach. In her mind she has to keep
HOPING that she WILL get to the real you. You do that by giving her
glimpses of your depth... and then concealing it. It drives them crazy.
They never know how to read you 100%. Always make sure that they feel
there's more to you than meets the eye, that she hasn't finished
"discovering" you. This'll keep you as a challenge: the challenge being,
How deeply can she get, where no other woman has gone before? Will SHE be
The One that'll open you up? That's a BIG challenge, esp. if you want to
spend more than an occasional night with her. That's why there must always
be some level of MYSTERY about you. You'll remain a challenge for as long
as you keep up with this. Once the mystery is gone, the challenge will be
gone and so will she. I would like to be totally open with women, but I find
that when I am, poof! all the excitement is gone. So if that's how they
want it, they deserve what they get.
(6) Another way of saying this is that she must always feel that there's a
SUBTEXT to your interaction, and you let her fill in the blanks (but don't
be misleading.. that creates too many problems down the road). That's the
power of metaphors: you're talking about one thing, and she's thinking about
what you're "really" talking about. So there's two levels to your
interaction. If she doesn't have that, and you're just outright
straightforward, she might or might not like what she sees, but it surely
wouldn't keep her intrigued. It's just too boring. The perceived subtext
keeps up the tension, a healthy tension.
(7) Part of knowing how to structure challenges is knowing how to show her
that her efforts are working. If she keeps climbing up a wall and no matter
what she does is useless, eventually she'll stop trying and give up. She
must feel that her efforts are leading somewhere, but never as fast as she'd
like them to go and never exactly where she wanted them to go.
(8) Part of conditioning is knowing when to throw in a BONUS. The bonus
should be something that's totally unexpected and way beyond what she
imagined. That'll show her that you CAN be a giver, and a very large giver,
but, as Sisonpyh says, on YOUR TERMS. That'll keep her ANTICIPATING.. and in
line.
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Olivier:
Now does anyone have any
> ideas on how to let a girl know you are good in bed BEFORE you get to the
> bedroom without being blatant or being a good dancer or kisser?
That is probably easier than actually delivering the real thing in bed.
You just have to think about great marketing where you have been convinced
that the product is really the best thing in the world even if you did not
try it.
Use a pattern around the topic 'What a great lover is and what feelings he
gives to his partner during intercourse'. If you're good at it, she will
imagine how wonderful it could be to sleep with you and she will want to try
it.
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just reading about this for the first time, I decided a couple of emails ago to add links
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as proper mailing list software) for this list. If you were going to buy the product
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from the little experience I have had since I started the commercial section a couple of
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