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Halbster on Strippers & Hand Models
1/27/01 9:36:01 AM Eastern Standard Time
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Halbster:
Tristan was singing praises for neg hitting and giving the
example
Her: I'm a model
You: Oh, a hand model or something.
If he is hooking up with her I don't think it is because of that line.
Really hot woman know they're hot and you can't hide that fact with a line
like that. They just think you're a jerk, or maybe if you're lucky she
thinks you're joking and you have a good sense of humor. I remember once
experimentally saying to Linda (a physically perfect babe) something like
"you need to get to the gym more either you're gaining wait or losing
muscle tone." She called me on my bullshit. She said something like "What
are you on crack don't you think I look in the mirror. Everyday I make
sure
that I'm physically perfect." She was right and she called me on it.
THE BETTER EQUALIZER APPROACH
Her: I'm a model
You: Really!! That surprises me (pause) because I've known lots of models,
and you seem very different (pause and anchor the curiosity) because it
seems like there is something more to you. So many of them try to get by on
just their beauty, and they're not nearly good looking enough for their
personalities. So many of them get lost in superficial appearances. You
seem like you can APPRECIATE SOMETHING DEEPER (subtle fucking gesture).
You seem like you can think for yourself and do what you want, fuck society,
and focus on making yourself happy. You seem like someone yada yada ...
Here you're not insulting her. You're very subtly challenging her. You
are giving her a self-image to live up to. You quickly let her know that
you
expect more than just good lucks. You add some humor (not nearly good
looking enough for their personality). You've also communicated that you
meet lots of good looking woman and they need to impress you in some other
way. You're also giving her a compliment other than her looks she will
appreciate what you see in her. Those of you who did the hand model thing
can play with this a few times and report about your increased success.
Strippers:
Recently, someone was asking about strippers. Most of what follows is just
a small bit about going to clubs because I don't want to retype what I've
typed in the past. It is organized with 1) an understanding people who
strip, 2)
approaches when you go to the club, 3) a seduction method
One of the most important things to remember about strippers is that they
are people!!! They are humans just like you and me. What does this mean?
Among other things
+Many of them are absolutely positively delightful in every sense of the
word
+First and foremost TREAT THEM WITH SOME RESPECT AND DIGNITY. They are
there to do a job and earn money. Sometimes it is a difficult, and
frustrating job for them.
+Treating them with dignity doesn't mean losing your self-respect or
dignity.
The general rules for seduction and/or dealing with people apply i.e.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS CALL THEM ON THEIR BULLSHIT!!!!
+Just because she looks beautiful on the outside doesn't mean that she is
beautiful on the inside --- or disease free. Many of them are very fucked
up psychologically.
If they were normal going into the job, the job itself can still mess them
up.
A large percentage have been abused sexually, physically, or
psychologically.
Often the abuse happened as children. Some of them are drug addicts, others
are struggling single mothers. Others are living in imaginary delusional
universes (usually, the wannabe stars)
+They have good daze/days/nites/knights and bad in every sense of the word.
+Although most strippers are very highly sexual, most are not sluts and
there are some very rare strippers who are virgins. Yet, there are enough
who are sluts to justify being extra cautious.
+They have feelings so show some consideration.
+They (at least some of them) don't just have boobs they also have brains.
Many of them are quite intelligent. Many of them are putting themselves
through college, sometimes even grad or professional school. I have the
pleasure of knowing one who is now doing very well in medical school.
+Just because she looks pretty doesn't mean she is telling the truth.
Remember these woman have an economic incentive to talk with you.
+Many strippers are also very flaky. The job tends to do this to them
particularly in certain geographic areas. I have a friend who has danced
all around the country. She currently dances in FL. She complains that she
doesn't like to make plans with most of her dancer friends in FL because
they are too flaky, whereas in NYC they tended to be better. They don't
just
flake on guys. They flake on themselves as well. ****Sometimes the issue
isn't her flaking on you. The challenge is how do you teach her to stop
flaking on herself.****
+Many of them have their guard up around men because of prior bad
experiences, and/or thinking that all men just want to get in their pants,
and/or viewing men as material transactions because they are used to men
paying and that is how they support themselves. They also have legitimate
physical safety concerns.
+By and large they tend to be an adventurous, fun loving group, with a great
sense of humor
+Many of them are slightly rebellious. Many of them could be classified by
NLP'ers as polarity responders or mismatchers.
+In my experience most tend to be more spiritual than religious, and there
are many who are very New-Agey, into Paganism, or the occult.
+Many of them are very into and open to self-improvement. They are humans
and just like most other people, they have problems. Sometimes their looks
are the source of their problems/challenges.
+Some of them are super health conscious. They know that there money is
based on their appearance. Hanging out at gyms and nutritious stores can
increase a persons general interest in health.
+Most experienced strippers have heard every line in the book. They
distrust men. Thus, YOU WIN HER TRUST MORE BY YOUR BEHAVIOR AND WHAT YOU DO
THAN WHAT
YOU SAY!!!! Sometimes, their truth filters are based on one or a
combination of the following...location(s) they see you at,either the amount
of time they know you or the number of times they see you. Have patience,
use time distortion, allow them to see you come and go several times. CALL
THEM ON THEIR BULLSHIT. BE BLUNT AND HONEST WHEN THEY DON'T EXPECT IT. USE
HUMOR.
Don't talk a lot about yourself or brag. Learn about them. You can't buy
their trust. In fact, spending too much might hurt their trust. At the
same
time being totally stingy will also violate their trust.
+Most strippers earn money easily and spend it even easier. Most aren't
disciplined when it comes to saving. I think there are several reasons for
this:
1) the money comes quickly
2) they see friends & coworkers spending, especially on fashion and trendy
stuff
3) they like to have fun
4) MOST OF THEM DON'T THINK INTO THE FUTURE. They tend to live in the
moment.
5) They tend to be irresponsible.
6) They've never been taught how to save/invest
7) It is a cash business.
+Strippers are often challenged to have real relationships and meet guys who
can see them for who they are and get past what they do. Outside of the
club they have as much or more difficulty meeting guys as most Waldo guys
have meeting woman. I once was in a stripper's apt. while 4 or 5 dancers
from
TENS (one of NYC's most upscale clubs) talked about how impossible it was
for them to meet guys. Part of this is the fact that they delete most of
the people
who are just lusting after them. Unless someone captures their interest he
doesn't count. I think their real challenge isn't meeting guys, it is
meeting guys they want to be with.
Most of these girls don't care a whole lot how much money a guy has
(although some this is extremely important). Many don't even care much
about looks (although as a group I'd say they care more about looks than
money).
+ Most strippers have a strong feeling about being touched/massage. Some
hate it. Some love it. Observe them before they come over to you so that
you know whether to use massage as part of your seduction.
+ Think about the parallels between customers and dancers/role reversal....
* Just like many guys don't want people to know that they're at a strip
club, most dancers don't want people outside the club to know that they're
at the club.
* Just like many guys think that strippers are sluts, obsessed with sex,
perverts, sexually dangerous etc., many dancers think that the customers are
like this.
* Just like many guys think that strippers don't have intelligence, many
dancers think that guys that go to strip clubs can't have a brain in their
head.
* They sometimes forget that outside the club you can be a normal nice
guy with a job, and a family. Someone capable of a real relationship, AND
CAPABLE OF BEING FAITHFUL.
*********************STRIP CLUBS ARE LARGELY ABOUT WANTS DESIRES
FANTASIES********** This is a great theme. It is a common factor that you
share with the dancers. They just have different wants, desires, and
fantasies. Perhaps, her fantasy is to be an actress, model, performer.
HOW I LIKE TO BEhave WHEN I GO TO A CLUB
I go with an attitude of I'm hanging out and having a good time. I don't go
with an attitude of I'm lusting after ladies, she has something I want, or I
gotta get laid and seduce one tonite. I enjoy women and I make no apologies
for that. At the same time, I am already completely satisfied. I don't
need anyone else, and there are plenty of other people. I'm hanging out
with my friends. If she wants to join our party she is welcome to join it,
but she
is expected to be nice, and be fun.
Very often if a girl comes around to me I'll ask her to tip me before she
has a chance to ask me for money. I'll ask her if she wants to feel my ass.
And, yes I do shake it for them and flex/vibrate it : ) This is important
because it accomplishes several things:
1) I have a good time
2) I GET TO a) save my money, and b) MAKE MONEY
3) I find out if she has a sense of humor and friendly attitude
4) It breaks her state, throws her for a small loop
5) I establish control of the interaction.
6) Gives me some extra motivation when I'm at the gym : )
7) I think a lot of them just have fun with this whole role reversal
concept.
****8) ASKING THEM TO DANCE DOES SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS SPECIAL. GET OUT
YOUR NOTE PADS BECAUSE IF YOU'VE BEEN reading this long you've earned a
special GOLD NUGGET, Scooby Snack Treat.
Just as some people have written about stealing a woman's lines, and I've
recently written about stealing her behaviors YOU STEAL THE DANCER'S LINES,
and YOU STEAL THE DANCER'S BEHAVIORS. i.e. when they ask for your phone
number.
How do I know I can trust you? Your not going to be stalking me or calling
me constantly are you? Will you be in a fun happy mood when you call? I
don't give my number to girls who just want a friend because they need a
therapist to dump on.
Sometimes, I'll tell them I'm having a rough nite and I haven't gotten many
tips. I'll ask them if they want me to do a lap dance for them. Sometimes,
I'll tell them I have to get to know them better before doing a lap dance.
Other times, I tell them the first one is free so they can let the other
girls know how good I am. And, yes sometimes they'll pay and they love
doing it : )
AT THIS POINT I USE AN IMPORTANT LINE -- I TELL THEM THAT MY STAGE NAME IS
BO. This is very important (line stealing again) because it tells them I'm
not just another dumb customer. Most dancers use a stage name. I
understand this. It also gets them laughing, gets them curious, and gets
their attention. It also makes them feel safer with me, like I'm one of the
insiders.
My attitude is usually Fuck around with them and find things that we have
in common. Recently, I told a dancer I'd seen several times and only
chatted briefly with "My friend and I are celebrating." She asked me why
and I told her "I just got out of jail." She asked me how long I was in
jail. I told
her "Since, I was 14. I went in a scared little boy, and I learned to
become a man there." She said "I know you're lying because I've seen you in
here before." I told her "I stuffed pillows under my blanket and I escaped
for a
little while." I like telling dancers that we're celebrating because
1) they always ask why, (gets them curious and hopefully a little
excited/happy/positive), 2) gets them friendly, 3) sets a fun frame. I will
follow it with crazy outlandish statements i.e. Tomorrow my friend over here
becomes a Monk. If you want to talk with him tonight is your Opportunity.
Then I might tell her that we took him here as a test and we need her help
to change his mind. Do you think your up to it?
I like to make bets with strippers. I find that THEY RESPOND WELL TO
CHALLENGES.
SAMPLE CHALLENGE/SET UP FOR LAUGHORGASM SEDUCTION
One of my favorite challenges is one that Ross came up with; I challenge
them
to make me laugh. I might tell them I'm just there hanging out, but I've
got a fun idea. I'll invite you to sit down and enjoy talking and hanging
out
with me for 6 minutes, and if you can make me laugh hard during that time
then I'll GIVE THEM A COUCH DANCE. I tell them that we're doing it in 6
minutes because that is the unit that Professionals such as lawyers use to
bill, and it means that if they can keep that rate up for an hour they
become a "10." If she does make me laugh I GIVE HER A COUCH DANCE. (note
my wording -- once in a rare while I find that I do have to actually buy a
couch dance from her so that she feels satisfied and that I've kept my
word -- more often than not they lose track of time & the original bet). If
they get an early laugh, I'll say Ok after you hangout for the full six
minutes.
A STRIPPER SEDUCTION SYSTEM -- MY SPECIAL LAUGHORGASM
The laughgasm can work on anyone, and it is especially well suited for
strippers.
"The Laughgasm"
A quick sneak preview (you can take a guess at how it is done and write back
-- then we both might learn something)
I get them laughing. ANCHOR it (Kino and other modalities). Tell them I'm
setting a laughter trigger on their body. Create a laughter amplifier
(zip/sliding anchor). Talk about the power of laughter, and my friend who
went to the Ashram and did laughing meditation (true story about awesome NLP
trainer Rex Sikes). Rex started telling me really profound insights and
great truths about laughing. i.e. it is a universal language, it quickly
transfers to other people, some gurus say it is an instantaneous experience
of G-d now. It is physically very healthy because it helps digestion, works
your abs better than situps, and it gets your endolphins (endorphins)
swimming. Interestingly, Rex told me that laughing causes you to do 2
things. When you're laughing your body starts accessing pleasure and
searching for a reason "Why are you laughing?" this causes you to either
remember very funny memories, or think funny thoughts. This is a SECRET
(powerful word) great comedians use.
I asked Rex if Laughing is so great why he left this ashram. He told
me...One morning I woke up it was 5 am, the floor was cold, and I thought "I
don't want to get out of bed and have to Laugh again."
The MOST PROFOUND THING HE SAID is "You're never more you than when you're
really laughing. This is the Naked Truth because you're not in the past or
the future YOU ARE totally the present, in the Now, your whole body is
sending the same message, sharing the same great feelings, you temporarily
lose all self consciousness and all tension vanishes as your body relaxes
into these great feelings yada, yada.
Draw parallels to orgasms. Talk about tension/release, uncontrollable
laughter, multiple orgasms, compared to Ha, and single orgasm. Talk about
doing it alone vs. with someone. Talk about the simultaneous mutual
combination of laughter and orgasm.
Offer to show her something amazing while she laughs hysterically, and
uncontrollably. You will without physically touching her, allow her to get
wet, aroused, excited with pleasure, but you won't let her cum, at least not
while you're there. DO A TAKEAWAY. i.e. maybe this isn't the right place
for you to GET EXCITED. I don't know you well enough, etc.
Do something like Bishy's Warmth Builder. Tell her that if you were
someplace else you'd be giving a great massage as you did that, and you'd
build the pleasure much more. Tell her to that although she can go to the
edge of orgasm you won't permit her to have an orgasm there, and challenge
her to see how close SHE CAN CUM without having an ORGASM. If you
accidentally take her to an orgasm here it will be OK. You just blame her
for going too far and use that for further takeaways and amplifiers.
This is very powerful because among other reasons it subtly switches things
so that you're the one that can provide the gift of sexual pleasure, and she
has to kinda beg you for it. You're training her to be responsive in
physical ways...beginning with the laughter. She is drawing powerful
parallels with a state you've already got her experiencing. You've got her
wondering "how much pleasure can he give me." It is something new,
adventurous, and captures her curiosity and intrigue.
After doing the LAUGHORGAM -- I then do a takeaway. I tell her it was fun
chatting with her, but you've got to get going. I tell her it is too bad
that we can't hang out together, but it just couldn't work because she seems
like a nice girl who really needs a guy who can devote himself to her. I
tell her that I'm really busy, excited and intense about pursuing some of my
life
goals and I don't know that I can give her the time or attention that she
deserves, plus I like to date several women.
THIS IS MAJOR BECAUSE:
1) MANY STRIPPERS LIKE TO THINK THAT THEY'RE REALLY Nice girls. Whereas the
library might have bad girl fantasies, lots of strippers want a guy who can
see her deep down sweetness. She'll think of you as special for connecting
to this part of her and seeing her in a way that most people can't.
2) You've just created a huge challenge
3) You've told her there is a lot more to you & passion b/c of your LIFE
GOALS (I use life goals and not career because it is more ambiguous, sounds
more important, and makes it seem like you really understand who you are)
4) She is going to assume you're out with other women so you've now laid
this fear to rest by being completely honest. She will enjoy the challenge
of
getting you exclusively for herself. Or, she might be really cool about the
other women and even help you with this. Can you say threesome.
There were portions of this post that were not typed in detail/or typed
ambiguously. One of the reasons for this is I'm hoping that you'll play and
experiment and write back. I'm hoping you'll innovate, and find
improvements so that maybe I can learn something as well. Please limit
posting on the above to either Cliff's list or Ross's listserver. Other
than that I ask
you all to act with honor and not pass my above message around.
One significant method that I use with strippers that I didn't post about
here is my 3 stage approach. This is a variation on Compare and contrast
themes that Ross teaches so well i.e. The difference between attraction and
love. I will do a compare and contrast with 2 classes to induce a state.
The 2nd class can already be a seduction. Then, I create a 3rd class that
has a
subtle distinction from the 2nd class making it an elite and more desirable
group. This sets a challenge. I believe that I posted to RJ's list around
May 1999 on this subject. Perhaps it is the MonkeyBoy Gold post. I no
longer have archives of my posts. If someone has it and wants to send it to
me I'll post some more about it.
Strippers addendum:
When you go to the club go with an attitude of having a good time. Let her
have the experience of he isn't trying to hit on me like so many other guys,
or pulling the same routine with every girl. It just so happens that he is
an intriguing, fun guy who was there just to hang out and have a good time.
Upon getting to know him I realized that he is someone I want to spend more
time with in more intimate ways. This is especially important with
strippers because you're differentiating yourself from everyone else, and
more importantly you're differentiating this experience in their mind.
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