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She responded like a soft puppy
9/8/01 9:45:30 AM Eastern Daylight Time
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Mark:
Regarding the issue of allowing control in a relationship.
Back at the age of 22 I got myself into a 2 1/2 year relationship with a
black women about 5 years older than me. Being new to the field of dating
and relationships at that time (due to my lack of awareness of how
attractive I was
to black women up to the age of 21) I did not have much awareness of the
need to stay in control of a relationship so being the "nice guy" I told her
I loved her all the time, always saw her whenever I could and always did
things to please her. Needless to say she had little respect for me and
insulted me, put me down and treated me with little respect overall. A few
times in the relationship I lost it and began treating her with total
authority and viciousness, to which she responded like a soft puppy. These
were the times she told me she loved me and actually offered to pay for meals
and other things we did together. I perceived her response as something
pathological and reverted back to my old ways only to have her go back to
her old ways of treating me. Eventually I cheated on her to exact revenge on
her and ended the relationship. Now looking back I laugh, knowing better.
Looking back, I see now the importance of being in control and never allowing
a woman to rule you in any sort of manner. My biggest successes have come
when I directly challenged a woman's point of view and stuck to my view.
Conversely my biggest failures came when I agreed with women on what they
said and went along for the ride. This involved agreeing to LJBF or where
they wanted to go and what they wanted to do. Eventually nothing happened
with these women. Basically the degree of your ability to assert yourself
seems to be directly proportional to the degree of success.
Examples:
I am making out with a woman (black) one night in a park and reach under her
skirt to put my hand down her ass. She recoils and I say "What's wrong with
you? You jumped like a 15 year old virgin." Down her panties my hand went.
A stripper (black) gives me a wrong number. The next week I go back and tell
her she gave me the wrong number and demand the right one. She gave me the
right one and I ended up fucking her brains out behind her boyfriend's back
for 6 months.
I am on a sales conference and bring back a girl (black) to my hotel room.
She says we just met and she should not be fucking me right away. I tell her
"You're right. We should not be kissing each other (as I am kissing her) and
I should not be taking your panties off (as I am taking them off) and I
should not be fucking you (as I am about to fuck her)."
I ask out a girl (black) to the movies for a Friday and tell her to cancel
her other plans for that day. She says she wants to go to a comedy club
instead. I said no, if not movies then no date. She agrees and pays for the
meal and the date and gets pissed off that I do not ask to take her home as
I had another girl (black stripper) waiting for me at a bar to pick her up that
night. She called me back to ask me out 2 weeks later.
For Ross who asked me and others regarding a diet to stay lean to look good:
Avoid sugar and white flour foods - pizza, candy bars, white bread, pop,
candy, limit fruit intake as it contains sugar. Why not sugar and white
flour? It causes a fast rise in blood glucose and results in a sharp and
quick spike in insulin levels in your blood and the more insulin in your
system the more of your blood sugar is converted to fat.
Avoid high fat, greasy food - anything deep fried, fries, fried chicken,
fried fish, etc. Avoid mayonnaise, gravy, butter, margarine, etc.
Avoid any fast food - burgers, wraps, hot dogs, etc. All high in fat and will
make you look like a blimp that lost its moorings.
Do eat broiled or BBQ red meat, fish, chicken, turkey, low sodium tuna, etc.
Egg whites hard boiled, skim milk, low fat cheese, low fat dressing,
vegetables (lots of them), rice, potatoes, oatmeal, & whole wheat pasta. Drink
lots of water between meals. Take your vitamins and minerals and go to the
gym at least 4 times per week.
On Wednesday, I was talking to a guy at the gym who is a lead singer of a
cover band in Toronto. He has been playing for the last 15 years and
recently decided to lose some fat and get into better shape. In the last 3
months, he lost 25 pounds and looks leaner and sharper and told me he cannot
believe the positive response he has been getting lately from women now that
he got into better shape.
Jeff:
I field tested Stephane's line to ask out girls. 3 times last Sunday. The
first girl said she was married and the third girl said she was too busy
and was with someone. I'm also making an effort to pay more attention to
the girl when talking because I suck at recognizing trance words and
feeding them back to girls.
Sept. 2, 2001:
Saw this older HB at B&N. I waited for her to pick up a book then asked
her "What book is that?"
H I Think You Moved My Cheese, a transvestite recommended it to me.
M Do you seek advice from transvestites?
H Well, I'll listen to just about anyone whose willing to give me their
opinion.
M Well, that's very open of you.
H What?
M That's good that you can open yourself up to people so freely.
H Yeah, I guess so
M So have you ever told someone to go to hell because their advice was so
absurd?
H Well, not too many people give me advice, they usually come to me for advice
M Oh, so what's the last book you read?
H I can't remember...it's been about 20 or 30 years since I've read a book.
M Really, you don't look that old.
H Well, I'm just kidding but it's been a while.
M Yeah, I used to read a lot, but sometimes it hard to find the time.
H Yeah, and pretty much I just read cheesy romance novels.
M Well, you're not alone. I read that 51% of all books sold are romance
novels.
H Yeah I guess the idea of romance and adventure is very appealing to most
women.
M So have you ever had a guy, come along on a big horse, and...
H ...and whisk me away? No. Usually they just come up to me and say, hey
baby you want a drink?
M Does that work?
H No!
M Then what does?
H I don't know. Nothing yet.
M So you're a virgin.
H (a moments hesitation, then) No.
M Then obviously somethings worked. What was it?
H I don't know. (thinks a minute) A bottle of wine?
M So that's all it takes?
H Is it getting warm in here? (literally starts fanning herself)
M Yeah, I think so. I'll bet you can just FEEL THE WARMTH growing inside
of you, to the point where you just want to go outside and FEEL THE NICE
COOL AIR....(flying by the seat of my pants obviously)
H Is it cool outside?
M Yeah, it's actually pretty nice out.
H That's good it was a little muggy when I got here, but I've been here
almost 2 hours.
I tell her about eating a Subway sandwich just a few minutes earlier
outside the store.
H Are you on the Subway diet?
(she sounded serious but anyone can see I don't need to lose weight so I
joked with her)
M Yeah! You know six months ago, I weighed 500 lbs. (I weigh 155)
H (laughs) Well, it sure worked for you!
M Yeah, it works really good!
H (smiling) So is that with or without mayo?
M Oh, without! You have to really learn to love mustard for this diet to work.
H Auhhg! Only on hotdogs.
Then I smile at her and use Stephane's from Cliffs list, line. I look it
her like I've just noticed something unusual.
H What?
M I was just wondering...what would I have to do...to get you...to really
WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?
H I don't know. How old are you?
(Practically every girl asks me this! Either they think I look to old or
in this case too young. So I try to remember something else I believe I
read on Cliff's list)
M I'm old enough. I'm as experienced as YOU WANT ME...to be, and as
exciting and as adventurous as YOU DESIRE ME.
H Oh that was good!
M Well, I aim to please!
H Yeah, I think I read that in a romance novel.
M Well, I don't read romance novels...I LIVE THEM!
H Oh that was REALLY good! (going back to my question) I guess just ask me.
M Ok. If I were to ask you out, would you smile and say yes, or would you
get offended and walk away?
H It depends on where you want to go.
M Oh God! You're killing me!
H No! I'm easy (let's hope so) I just want to know where you want to go.
M Well I was gonna say let's meet for a drink but I know that doesn't work.
Maybe we could meet here for coffee.
H I like that answer. Give me your number and I'll call you.
M Well, I'm a little old fashioned, and since I asked you out, I think I
should call you.
H Oh, that was good too. I think you're moving my cheese!
M Well, you know I was a test subject for that book.
H Oh, so now I'm your Guinea pig?
M No I was the Guinea pig.
H (laughs) Ok, you win!
M Before you give me your number perhaps we should introduce ourselves.
H Yeah. I'm Lien.
M I'm Jeff. (We shake hands and I keep hold of her hand)
H You caught me a little off guard here.
M Yeah, anything out of the ordinary, can catch you off guard at first, but
then when you look back on this, you can realize what a nice experience it
really is.
H How old are you?!
M Well I'm probably older then you think I am, but I'll tell you
what. When we meet I'll let you see my drivers license.
H Let me see it now, I want to card you right now.
M No. (I pull out my phone an tell her to give me the digits and she does)
H So what number is this?
M My mobile.
H That'll work. Hopefully when I call you'll remember me...
M Oh I will!
H And hopefully you'll sound pleased to hear from me, because I'll be
pleased to be talking to you.
M I will.
Then we parted ways. I felt pretty good with this HB although I still
couldn't pick out any trance words while I was talking to her, but I was
really proud of my performance. I just have to add that this chick had an
amazing pair of breasts. Probably fake because she was around her mid
thirties, and they were pretty big and firm. It was easy to see she wasn't
wearing a bra as her nipples were extremely distingishable against her
tight low cut shirt. I look forward to finding out if there real or fake.
Dwayne:
I noticed someone commented about how Black women like White men. Well,
just read the personal ads and it seems a majority of SBFs are searching
for SWMs.
Gwiz:
In the past week I have met and wild thing closed a 23 year old HB (while we
were out, on two separate occasions, two AFC's have told her she looks like
Shania Twain and Catherine Zeta Jones...6 months ago this would have pissed me
off...now, I just laugh). I'm still not sure precisely how I achieved
this. This post is to give encouragement to those still on the challenging
road to seduction success, and also to seek commentary on what I did, so
next time I can do even better.
A bit about me...37 years old..receding hairline...average looks...excellent
body (hard work guys!)...gun dancer in salsa, zouk, bossa nova (even harder
work guys but an EXCELLENT way to ensure a constant stream of potential
playmates!)...psychologist (Jesus H. Christ! Did I have to do some
unlearning after studying SS as opposed to the Women are from Venus blah
blah supplication framework!)...no sex for at least 3 years (combination of
pickiness and chickenness...deadly!). Bedded 8 women in my whole life (but
they were all quality! Yeah, right!) Generally, I am pretty AFC.
The story. Introduced to Cath at a social dance. Had a few dances...didn't
say much (I was drunk at the time) except that she was good mover and giving
some advice on how she could be even better. She left without saying good
bye. Told me later she felt like a "sacrificial lamb" when introed to me.
Recently I have been paying a lot of attention to body posture and "Alpha
Male»" non-verbals (thanks Sis). Was it her self image or my "dominant"
non-verbals that made her feel that way? Methinks a bit of both.
Saw her three days later at a social. Happily, I was on fire in terms of
being in "cocky/charming" mode (I do this well after a few drinks...working
on doing it stone cold sober). Danced a bit again...busted her balls a bit re
her style...couldn't think of anything in terms of a pattern to say except
she had interesting eyes. (Here's what I think is a good tip...often when I
can't think of anything to say I let loose with a small laugh or smile. They
nearly always think I am laughing at them in a knowing way, when in actual
fact, I am laughing at myself thinking..."you fucking idiot!...37 years
old...studying SS for a year...psychologist...and you STILL can't think of
anything to say to a girl). Went out for coffee after with friends...she
gave me a lift home...I say in the car as we arrive..."you must come up and
see how I live. No hanky panky though.....I hardly know you!" We are on
balcony.... I say "You know, I have a very strong desire to kiss you. You
had better go home now" (probably sounded like a "take away", when in actual
fact I had CHICKENED OUT!...old Mr. AFC was rearing his ugly head!...I should
have tried Sis's smell'em method...oh well). Before she goes, I suggest
she watch some of my dance videos with me...I am Mr. AFC till she goes...we
arrange to see each other in five days time. I promise myself I will brush
up on patterns and "leading" strategies (I have Ross's and Sis's stuff)
I run into her two days later. I am surprised and unprepared. I make
ridiculous small talk and exit stage left in a hurry, saying I will see her
Thursday as previously arranged. (Once again, maybe this was perceived as
some sort of a "take away" when in fact it was Mr. AFC) This is the one of
the hardest things for me...how do you remind yourself to stay "switched on'
or switch yourself on in an instant...I've tried anchoring the state but
it's never seemed to work for me...does anyone have any "psych up "
routines?
Thursday comes. As I wait for her (didn't set an exact time) I feel like Mr.
AFC godddamit? I feel it in my stomach...where does this shit come from? I
have a few drinks...feel a little better. She arrives...I try to be cool, but
Mr. AFC is strong tonite. Here's a tip...when this happens, I "semi remove"
myself...go and dance with some other girls...talk to others...loosen up
before I go back. We dance a bit, but Mr. AFC is like a fucking gargoyle
perched on my shoulder whispering in my ear! Bastid! We go out as a group
after...I collect myself and mentally prepare patterns (BJ, Peak Experience,
but the context is all wrong. Instead, I tell VOODOO DILDO (thanks
Ross)...works well...also used the following joke;
Little Red Riding Hood walks thru the forest. Big bad wolf jumps out and
says "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
LRRH calmly pulls out a gun and says "No way! We're going to do it just like
the book says. You're going to eat me!"
Once you have rapport, I think these types of "fun" dirty jokes are absolute
magic. Agreed? Does anyone have any more of these? Let's build a library.
Cliff's Comment: Get on my free joke list...
She asks if I want a lift home (who would say no?). We arrive. I simply say
to her "I think you should come upstairs with me." She says nothing and looks
at me in that way women do which makes many men quake. I ask her what the
look means. She says she doesn't know whether she wants to or not. I let
loose with a combination of AFC, Ross,and SIS. Stuff like;
"We'll go slow and take it easy" (gag!)
"I believe that if two people are attracted, they should act on it."
"Life is too short"
"C'mon. Lets go!" (command)
We get inside. I tell her to sit down on my "lounge" (simply a thick black
king size futon piled high with large bright multicolored cushions. All my
women friends love it). I do an abbreviated Sis smell close...and just keep
going...in a slow teasing way.
A three year drought broken...and I think the dam has just busted as well
and there's a flood coming down the valley. I hope this story inspires those
who need it and warms the hearts of those who see their teachings in what I
did.
Stephanie:
It appears that there are mainly two types of people in your list; the
ones who desperately want to be "the man" and the others who think they are
"the man". I wonder about the ones not in this
newsletter who are getting the women and not talking about it to educate or
boast to others, probably because they have their hands full. I find that
more fascinating than over analyzing how to get whom you want, when you want
them. I think the sexiest and most lasting way to keep a woman is to be
yourself. If she does not like you, then so be it. Shit happens. Toughen
up. But if she does like you in spite of knowing the real you, that is much
more substantial than being able to make her think that you are the man she
wants and risk having her wake up and having a sane thought sometime
throughout your life together. (I know that is close to impossible, but you
never know with us women! We can throw you a curve from time to time.)
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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from the little experience I have had since I started the commercial section a couple of
weeks ago, I think you are missing a lot of business by not doing this):
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