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“Playing Hard To Get…” – September 15, 2001

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“Playing Hard To Get…” – September 15, 2001

I want to talk about the idea of “Playing hard to get”, why it works so well, and how you can do it to help you be more successful in the dating world.

First, I have a question for you:

What do you think turns women OFF?

I really want you to take a moment and think about this one. Aside from the obvious things like smelling bad and being dirty, what do you think makes women feel that “Not if you were the last man on earth” feeling?

Now think about this question:

What do you think makes a woman decide that you’re the kind of guy that she only wants to be “friends” with?

What is it that presses the “friendship” button?

Let me give you a list of some of the things that turn women off:

1) Smothering them with attention
2) Acting needy and emotional
3) Calling too often, asking them out too often
4) Acting insecure

And here are some of the things that I believe cause women to only feel “friendship” feeling towards a man, and never ATTRACTION:

1) Never taking the lead and making decisions
2) Acting nervous because you’re attracted to her
3) Never taking the initiative to hold hands/kiss her
4) Acting like a female friend that wants to be her “therapist”

Are you seeing a pattern here? Do you get where I’m going with this?

Now, the things I mentioned above aren’t ALWAYS true. If you’re a super rich, handsome guy… and you’re going out with an average woman with low self esteem, then you can probably do everything above and she’ll still like you.

But if you’re a regular guy like me, and you want to go out with attractive women, then you need to start paying more attention to these things.

Remember, an attractive woman has more options than she knows what to do with. A man who wants to pay attention to her is nothing new. In fact, it’s probably the same old same old.

Here’s an idea for you to remember: Things and people that aren’t predictable keep our attention.

If you act like every other PREDICTABLE guy, then you’re going to get the same thing that they all get.


So how do you solve this dilemma and act in a way that won’t be predictable, and will make a woman feel attracted to you?

This brings me back to the title of this week’s newsletter… Play hard to get!

Now, this may sound like an old idea, but let me share with you a couple of simple ways to make this game a lot more fun, and to make yourself a lot more interesting and attractive to women.

Remember, I don’t think it’s a good idea to play a lot of head games or to be manipulative… but if you follow what I’m about to share with you, I think you’ll find that you’ll have a lot more fun, and be a lot more interesting to women.

Above I mentioned some of the things that make women feel like “just friends”, or even worse, make them feel “turned off”.

I believe that when you first meet a woman, she will make dozens of small decisions about you within the first few minutes, and then dozens more in the next hour or so of conversation.

It’s VITALLY important that you get this first part of the relationship on the right track. And I think that one great way to do it is to play “Hard To Get” in a few very specific ways.

Here are a few ideas:

1) When you first start talking to her, interrupt the conversation because you want to get back to what you were doing. You might say “It’s nice meeting you, but I’m going to get back to my friends.” This shows that you are not needy, and thay you have a life of your own (both are attractive). It also gives you the opportunity to ask for her number/email to follow up with later.

2) Don’t call her for a day or two, minimum. I know, we’ve all heard about this one, but it’s true. If you call a couple of days later, it shows that you have a life and that you’re not going to smother her with attention.

3) Always be the one to end conversations on the phone and meetings in person. When you feel the conversation winding down, and you know that it’s going to happen anyway, say “Well, I have some things to do, so I’ll talk to you later” etc. This is one of the most powerful ideas that you can use, because it’s so subtle, and so easy.

4) Never put your life on hold just so you can see her or spend time with her. A woman is more likely to respect you and your time if YOU respect you and your time. If you have something to do and she suggests getting together at that time, tell her you’re busy and tell her what time you have available.

5) Bonus Points: This is a fun idea that I want to throw in… If you ask her out, and she says “Well, I have other plans”, just say “Cancel them! I’m more fun than whatever you’re doing.” I love this one! Even if she doesn’t cancel (which she usually won’t) she’ll get a laugh, and it will show that you’re confident (very attractive). Just make sure that if she does cancel that you do something interesting! It’s a great comeback, and I use it a lot.

Of course, if you want to understand this idea of how to make women feel attracted to you in depth, then I’d recommend that you go and download my eBook “Double Your Dating.” It’s the absolute best place to learn how to make women feel attracted to you. All the details can be found at:

[ebook download link]

All of my online systems are running perfectly, and you can be assured of a secure transaction!

Talk to you soon,

David D.

P.S. I want to hear your success stories! Send them to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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