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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“How To Get That One Special Girl” – October 5, 2001

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“How To Get That One Special Girl” – October 5, 2001

Every week, I get a whole bunch of emails that say something like:

“David, help me. I’ve been dating different women, but now there’s this one perfect girl, and I need to know what to do to get her”… or…

“David, there’s this girl that I’ve been in love with for ever, and I need to know how to make her love me back”.

This week, I want to talk about one of the major mistakes that guys make when dealing with REALLY attractive women:


Why is it that we think that just because WE find this one girl so attractive, that it somehow makes her DIFFERENT from the rest of the women in the world?

Why is it that we can find a system that works and helps us attract and date» women, but when an unusually attractive women shows up, we think that what has worked for us in the past needs to change for this one special person?

I have to take a time-out and mention that I can totally understand what it’s like to meet a “special” girl. For each of us, there is a woman or type of woman that is MAGNETICALLY attractive, and who pushes the internal buttons instantly.

And when you meet one of these women, I think that it’s pretty natural to become hyper-alert and to put more importance than usual on her.

But the big mistake comes when you start to treat her differently… when you start to change how you normally act and try to figure out and be the kind of guy that you think she wants.

The paradox is that we think that figuring out what a woman wants and giving it to her should make her feel attracted to us… but when we start acting so concerned and attentive, it usually comes across as INSECURITY AND NEEDINESS, which are big repellants.

Is this making sense to you?

Women don’t feel a gut level ATTRACTION for men when they change what they’re doing, compromise their values, and give up their lives for a her.

As much as I would like to tell you that you can win a woman’s attraction with favors and niceness, in the most general sense, you can’t.

Remember, ATTRACTION happens on its own… and it happens without CHOICE.

If you all of a sudden start acting differently when you’re around the DREAM GIRL, she’s going to pick up on it, and start thinking “Oh, he’s just like all the other guys… wants to give me whatever I want… NEXT.”

Look, you might feel like this woman is the most incredible, special, and perfect woman on the face of the earth. And it might be true.

But most women (especially the really attractive ones) don’t have a fantasy about a guy who’s always acting weak and overly-attentive around her because he thinks that she needs to be treated like someone who’s not normal. Confident, attractive women want a MATCH to them. They want someone who is AT LEAST as confident as they are.

So what do you do if you have that one special girl and you want to make her feel attracted to you?

Well, here’s what NOT to do:

1) Change how you act when you’re around her.

2) Be overly nice and fake to her.

3) Treat her like a delicate flower that should be encased in glass inside a museum.

And here’s what to do:

1) Tease her a little more than usual.

2) Play hard to get a little more than usual.

3) If you have to, don’t look at her when you’re with her. If her appearance makes you turn into a wuss, then look away from her and imagine what she’s going to look like in 40 years as a grandma. Or look at her eyebrow whey you’re talking to her. Just distract yourself so you don’t turn in to wuss-boy.

4) Accept the fact that just like every other woman, she might not be interested, and that you might not get her… and deal with that issue so you can accept the outcome. This will cause you to relax and just be yourself more.

If you put too much importance on a woman, and it comes across as insecurity, etc. then you’re going to lose. So don’t do it.

Stay calm, and be your normal self.

Really attractive women are used to being treated like different people, and honesty is refreshing to them.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, do the things that you’ve learned by reading these newsletters, and from my book.

By the way, if you haven’t gotten your copy of my eBook “Double Your Dating“, then you need to do that NOW. That is the foundation for everything that I write in these newsletters, and it will bring all of the concepts together for you.

I spent YEARS trying to figure out how to make the really attractive women feel ATTRACTION for me, and in the process I learned some amazing things.

Just go to:

[download ebook now]

…and download your copy now. I guarantee that it will help you attract that one special woman in your life.

Have a great weekend.

I’ll talk to you soon,

David D.

P.S. Tell me how this information is helping you, send me your success stories and questions to:

[newsletter sign-up link]

…and I may use your story and question in my next newsletter!

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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