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“Q&A: I Left With 12 Phone Numbers…” – November 28, 2001

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“Q&A: I Left With 12 Phone Numbers…” – November 28, 2001


“Hey Dave,

I’d like to start off by saying how kickass this “Guide to dating” is. I don’t think any of this stuff would have occurred to me if I hadn’t read it here.

But I’ve got an issue; I’m going out with this girl who I really like, and I started out being “Mr. Nice Guy”, just like I usually am. But I think we’re not going to get anywhere fast using this method, and I’m worried that if I suddenly change personalities then she’ll think I’m a jerk when I be all playful and start cracking jokes at her. Have I messed up, or is there still hope?

Cheers, B.”

>MY COMMENTS: The beauty of communication is that you can TEST any part of it. Why not try teasing her about something and calling her a “brat”? See how she responds. If she gets that cute “Ohhh, so this is how it’s gonna be?” look on her face, then you know you’re barking up the right tree. If that works for you, then move on to advanced maneuvers like giving her a hard time about something like her clothes… lol… Remember, the key is to never give up CONTROL. If you have no tension, then there will probably be little ATTRACTION. Have fun.


“I READ UR BOOK, COULDNT PUT IT DOWN…. Dave i just wanted to inform u of my gratitude for my investment in ur book, and i cant wait till the next one comes out… i have a question: how do u rekindle a relationship that went sour because of ill communication, solely based on physical attraction. Its been a month since we hung out and im still stuck on her…i know pathetic huh… since then she’s playing all these mind games because i see her on regular basis but its just really weird between us…”

>MY COMMENTS: Well, if I knew how to fix relationships that are already over I’d be rich. Just imagine what I could charge for the knowledge? OK, back to reality… The most important thing for you to do is MOVE ON with your life, start dating other women, and avoid her for awhile. Make it a point to end your conversations with her quickly, always have something to do, and generally act disinterested. This will do a couple of things… It will help you get over the needy state that you’re in, and it will also cause her to see you in a new light (namely, someone who isn’t a puppy dog and has gotten on with his life). This combination has a kind of magical way of making women all-of-a-sudden start to feel attracted to you again…


“Dear David,

Using your techniques of flirting and teasing has helped me with many different women. I notice it even works when I am not trying to pick someone up. Recently I met a girl through a friend. I starting flirting with her heavily. I felt the chemistry between us and I continued to pursue her-constantly flirting and teasing her. We have gone out once and I have gone over to her apartment several times. She lets me massage her feet and we joke around. My problem is that about five days ago she just stopped returning my calls. I only talk get to her if she is the one answering the phone at her apartment. I’ll ask her out and she always says she is busy. This has happened three times. I feel I am in a very weak position- that she is dictating things. I think I am loosing ground. How do I gain control again so that she is intrigued by my flirting and spontaneity?

-Thanks, D.”

>MY COMMENTS: It’s kind of funny (but not to you, lol)… I understand EXACTLY what you’re going through. I used to give women massages, go over to their place a lot, and generally give them the power… See, you did the right thing to open. You were flirting and teasing. This got her attention, and she said to herself “oh, this one seems interesting”… but then you dropped the ball by:

1) Going to her place often
2) Having this idea that she “let you” massage her feet
3) Called her too much

Next time, tell her to come to your place and after you’re finished massaging her feet make sure and take things to the next level physically… and don’t call her so much!

Women have a VERY keen sense of who’s in control. And it’s obvious that you’re not the one in this case. Remember the strategy of taking two steps forward and one step back? Well, do that from now on. You must learn to be more of a challenge! You’re on the right track. Keep it up.


Hey David. I been dating a girl recently and the second date I had with her was a few days ago. Man I tell ya, your techniques has been super for me. However there is a question which have brought me to attention too. Last time when I went out with her, even I could see she loved my company, I noticed she’s too careful in the way of being uncertain and doubtful; moreover, hard to trust guys. That’s not an uncommon reaction since naturally most other girls would perform the same thing when they don’t know anything about the person they dating. But this girl looked more intense than normal people. It made me clear and understandable after she mentioned in her passed history she had bad experience with couple jerk guys which tried to do some stuff with her. Here I wander what can I do to make her more comfortable? although beside all those personalities you have mentioned in your book which they been tremendously helpful for me so far. Is there anything I need to keep in my mind that I don’t know of?

Thank You,



The Bad News: Often you’ll meet women who are VERY attracted to “jerks”. I used to think that when a woman said “I’ve had a lot of guys turn out to be real jerks” that it meant she didn’t like jerks. Now I realize that it PROBABLY means she feels a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them, and then lets herself get into an unhealthy relationship that winds up hurting her badly… only to go on to the next one to give it another go.

The good news: Yes, there is something you can do. And you’re doing it… many of the techniques that I talk about are designed to create the ATTRACTION that women often feel for jerks (and other masculine guys) without the ABUSE factor.

When women tell me that they’ve dated a lot of jerks in their lives, I usually say “Well stop doing that.” Just keep up being interesting and attractive… she’ll probably love this. Just don’t turn into a wife-beater later on, and you’ll be fine!


I have purchased your book which so far I have found very enjoyable to read, however I do have one question, in your book you address the issue of smiling and go on to say that you should not smile too much as to look excited and look serious conversing with women. My question is I have read elsewhere that you should learn to smile all the time in the presence of women, which is right?, I would feel a little bit of a moron to smile all the time, can you enlighten me on this subject ?

Thanks in advance for your help,



>MY COMMENTS: This is a great question. First of all, there is a big difference between “not smiling like James Bond doesn’t smile” and “not smiling like a stalker doesn’t smile” not-smiling. Are you with me? My experience is that a lot of guys smile too much in an INSECURE way, and they come off as weak and wanting attention. Watch some James Bond movies and watch how James uses body language». Pierce Brosnan is the latest James Bond actor. He is considered by many to be the sexiest man in the world… and James Bond is the sexiest character. Watch him on the big screen and learn how he creates a mood with his body language». There is a way to “not smile” that creates a very magnetic sort of tension. Imagine squinting your eyes and breathing in… and looking at a woman in a way that says “I get what I want in life, and right now I’m deciding if you’re interesting enough for me to take the time to get to know…” Now go try it.


“Dave the Man”

I’ve been receiving your weekly dating tips through email for a couple of months now. Well since I have been reading just the couple of stories and postings of advice that you give, I have notice a change in the way I handle woman. Playing Mr. Hard-to-get actually works. I do have a question in which I hope you can help me out with though. The other night I went to a night club and towards the end of the night I met this beautiful girl. I did the eye contact thing that you always talk about, walked up to her and made a little joke. Instantly I was in a conversation where she was asking me questions. We talked for a good 1/2 hour and I got a lot out of the conversation. We closed out the club and she gave me her number at the end of the night. Here’s my problem. I did the 72 hour rule that I set for Myself, not calling her for about 72 hours after I get the number. Well I got the answering machine. Now she was a little drunk that night and I really don’t know if she would remember me over the answering machine. So what should I do if I end up getting the “MACHINE????” again, for future sake.

Thanks for the advice,


>MY COMMENTS: Here’s a little tip: Call women late in the evenings, and at about noontime on the weekends. I’ve found that they’re home more often during those times…

OK, on to your situation. Here’s what I would have done differently:

1) I would have gotten her email first, then emailed her to start.

2) I wouldn’t have waited 30 minutes to get her info. I would have closed for the email and number within the first few minutes (you can always talk longer if you’d like… this just sets the right tone).

3) I would have called her the next day. I personally don’t like the idea of waiting more than a day or two to call a woman. I know that everyone else thinks that you should wait longer, but in my experience it’s fine to call the next day (what you want to avoid is calling her 10 minutes after you meet her and coming across like a loser who is obsessing over her).

…and if you get a machine, say “Hey, this is [insert your name here], I figured you’d be waiting by the phone for my call. Well, that’s OK, my mom told me that I can’t go out tonight anyways. Give me a call back at [insert your number here].

I like to have fun with machines and such. Try being fun and interesting.

Oh, and if she doesn’t call you back, then call her the next night. And the next… don’t be a stalker, but don’t give up. And don’t take it personally. If a woman doesn’t call you back, it doesn’t always mean that she’s not interested. Remember, the book “The Rules” came out a few years before my book. They have a head start on us.


“Dear David,

I am an Indian male journalist in my mid-thirties and in love with a girl colleague I have known for years. My crush of course is a recent development and she is conscious of this even without my spelling it out. It’s possible that she will turn me down if I make a formal declartion. But I guess I will have to tell her for my peace of mind. The problem is, our relationship is formal. We hardly have any excuse to talk. Could you tell me how tell her and in what exact terms?



>MY COMMENTS: Love? LOVE? Will someone come over here and give me a hug? OK… I included this one because I want to talk about a VERY important point when it comes to dealing with women you are feeling attracted to. It goes a little somethin’ like this:

Most women intuitively understand that if a man is giving her attention, he is probably interested on a romantic level. In other words, YOUR GIRL ALREADY KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL.

OK, now that we’ve all awakened to the fact that women can figure this one out even before we want to admit it to ourselves, let me tell you how to handle this.

Here’s what not to do: Don’t act shy, nervous, reserved, fidgety, or confused. In other words, don’t act like a guy who likes a woman but can’t figure out how to tell her.

Here’s what TO do: Tease her, have a lot of fun, treat her like she’s your bratty little sister, and go out with other women. Then one day you might say “You know, it’s really too bad that you’re such a brat, because I used to like you.” lol… then tell her to come over because you want to play a game of cards… and use “The Kiss Test” with her.

I hope you’re picking up what I’m saying…

Women already know. So don’t think that you have to admit it to them. Just get to being the kind of man that will cause her to feel an attraction to you, and the rest will work itself out.


“Hey Dave,

First off your newsletter is incredible, it has totally changed my life since I started receiving it. I realized everything I have been doing wrong with women, and since I have my luck has really changed! Anyways, a particular piece of advice that you gave has really benefited me. In a previous e-mail you were talking about how the setting is important when going on a date. I have always had trouble finding a place to go that really works to my benefit, and then I finally figured out my perfect place. Art exhibits. This works for me on so many levels it’s amazing. First there was a showing at a gallery near my house, so I went to it thinking that maybe there would be a lot of women there. I was so right I couldn’t believe it. I used your tips for attraction, combined with the fact that I took a few art history classes in high school and college so I knew what I was talking about, and I was unstoppable. I was only there for about 45 minutes but I left with 12 phone numbers and e-mail addresses! I’ve also taken a few girls on dates to galleries and the results have been awesome. Basically the conclusion I came to is this: the best environment to meet women in/take women to is one where you are comfortable and knowledgeable, because then not only are you happy to be there but you are an instant stud. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure out that the galleries are a gold mine for me, but once I did my success rate has gone up about 1000%. Thanks again Dave!

Your friend,


>MY COMMENTS: 12 numbers and emails? 12? Well, that about wraps it up for this week… I’m off to my local gallery… lol.

Yea, in a past newsletter I talked about art shows… but I never really thought about just going down to the local gallery. Great idea. The great thing about the attraction techniques is that you can take them and apply them anywhere. And you’re very right when you say that it’s good to take women places that you are comfortable. If you know the turf, then you’ll come across more confident… and it makes it easier for you to be funny and over-confident at the same time in that magical way that causes a great attraction.

Thanks for the tip…


“Yo D!

Dude, you are a go*da** genius! I was freeloading off of the emails for a while, which worked out pretty well, but just plain doesn’t compare to the success levels I’ve seen utilizing the full package. My confidence levels are so high I actually hit up Miss New Jersey for her email this weekend at a parade (which she claimed she didn’t have one, so I hit her with the electricity line, which worked out well (got a laugh), but the float was moving a little too fast for me to grab the digits (hey, I guess it just wasn’t her lucky day!)). Anyway, I wanted to write in and say that the method is unstoppable… a quick suggestion w/r/t props: Get A Palm Pilot! Sure they can be expensive(I use the IBM C505, which retails for about $399.00 right now (although I was given mine by the good folks at IBM in a sales contest)), but for a lower end model (Handspring, Casio, anything in the Palm III vein) you can get in for around $100.00, and let me just tell you, women are powerless in it’s wake. Half of them’ll punch in their email/number just to play with this thing. Just a thought for anyone looking to “Bond” up their game… I was wondering if you’d suggest backing down on the cockiness side of things to balance things out… although I’m definitely not going to stop pointing out to women that they want me. That one’s just too damn good (and typically true, considering my recent successes)! Anyway, You Da Man, D. Look forward to hearing back.



>MY COMMENTS: Thanks for the tip. I have a good friend that has women put their number directly into his cel phone. It actually works great! Who would have thought?

As for backing down on the cockiness… I’m glad you asked this particular question. A lot of guys who aren’t familiar with my materials think that I’m suggesting to guys that they should act ARROGANT. I get emails all the time saying things like “I don’t want to come across as a jerk” or “I don’t want her to think I’m an a**hole” etc.

I’m not suggesting arrogance as a way to attract women… what I’m saying is that it’s very attractive to be cocky and funny at the same time.

For instance: It’s not cool to say “that guy over there is ugly”… but it might be cool to say “that guy over there looks like he fell off the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, then gnawed on the root…”

See the difference?

Cocky and Funny is about being a little too confident while at the same time making people laugh. Sprinkle a little bit of tension and suspense on this combo and you have magic.

By the way, next time you have no time to get the info, say “tell me your number, I have a good memory”. It works more often than you’d believe! (Then pull out your handy-dandy Palm device and record it in case your super memory gives out while you’re getting your next 11 numbers at the art gallery)


First of all I want to say I really love your book. YOU da Man!! I have read it several times and have gotten a lot out of it. One of the things that came out of it is I have meet and am seeing a very special woman. I don’t think this would have been possible with out the great insight from your book. Once I read the book I was filled with all sorts of great ideas and just let it flow, dating has never been easier!! I also want to say that I really like the idea of “Save Your Money – Stop Taking Women Out On DATES”… One of my newest ideas I have come up with lately is that I have been trying to read this book for a long time, but have not had the time lately. I came up with the idea to read it to my girlfriend. (A good way to kill two birds with one stone) I get to read the book and she and I get to hang out together. Little did I know how much of a hit this one would be. Reading the book to her opened up two things one we get to spend some quality time together and we are doing something together. Unlike when you both watch TV you are doing something together but not really. Reading the book also gave us a chance to get real close to each other and kind a break that barrier. The feed back from her has been awesome, she tells me the sound of my voice reading softly and slowly to her is such a turn on, she can not wait for me to read to her again, and when she is turned on sparks do fly!! I just want to thank you for your great work!!



>MY COMMENTS: Thanks for the email and the tip. Great idea, and women love it.


Dave, Using the “Kiss Test” has really worked for me. I never used to know when women wanted to be kissed, and before this, I would always get a negative reaction when I would kiss a woman on a date. It has helped me out a lot, and I am going to buy your book. I’ve used many of the other things in your newsletters from getting phone #’s, to getting e-mails, and I would be cocky and funny to this girl I’ve known for a couple of years, who has recently been having trouble with men lately, and she said to me, “If you’re single later on in life, you’re going to marry me, you have no say in it!” I’ve never got reactions like that.

But I do have a couple questions for you. How can you tell if a woman likes you? And: How can you turn a woman on using only your voice and words? Your feed back will be much appreciated.


>MY COMMENTS: Congratulations on the success. As far as turning women on with your voice and words, you’re going to learn a lot when you read my book and the bonus booklet “Sex Secrets” that is included. The fact is that most guys have NO IDEA how to get a woman turned on… and I mean NO IDEA AT ALL. Hint: Grabbing her boobs and licking your lips won’t do it. Shucks. Just like you can make a woman feel attracted to you with your personality, you can also make her feel turned on with your words and voice. Of course it also helps to know what to do PHYSICALLY to get her turned on… which you’ll also learn.

In a nutshell, you need to learn how to activate a woman’s emotions by saying and doing a few key things… things that women respond to universally. I think you’re going to enjoy the materials.

***Note: If you haven’t downloaded your copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating” and the three free bonus booklets that are included, then I invite you to go to:

[ebook download link]

now and get them. Everything I talk about will make A LOT more sense to you once you’ve read them.

I’ll talk to you soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

***If you want to send me a success story or question… YOU MUST send it to the following email address:

[newsletter sign-up link]

Don’t just hit reply to this email, because I’ll probably never even see it! And if you have a success story, make sure you write “Success Story” in the subject line. I read those first!

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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