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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: Something Special For The Holidays…” – December 24, 2001

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“Q&A: Something Special For The Holidays…” – December 24, 2001

Success Story…

Hi David,

I ordered your book today and read about 3/4 of it now.

I read 3 other books in the last month and yours is by and far the best of them for this reason… yours gave me the ability to go out there and do it tonight. I was very fearful about being rejected (butterflies etc). I have been to the dance/place bar for the last 6 weeks (every Friday night) but never had the guts to go up to any girl. I am an average looking guy … had ratings on 2 pictures of hotornot of 6.4 and 7.2. In the past I have had many beautiful women but these relationships happened by chance and not by my ability to direct the outcome as I hope I am doing now.

Tonight I went up and talked with about 6 different girls (something I have never done before cold). Some good interactions and some bad. The only ones I remember though are the good ones…

BTW, I was a clinical psychologist for 15 years (hated every minute of it — never learned any of the stuff you mentioned about women)…

Again, Thank you kindly,


My Comments: I can appreciate the fact that your past relationships happened by chance, and not by choice. This was the story of my life until I took the time to learn how attraction works. Congratulations on your success, and keep me posted. By the way, I’ve studies psychology quite a bit myself, and somehow all of this was left out of the books I read as well…


Here is the deal:

I have more women in my life now than a week before subscribing to your letter. I’m 42 years old and had tried, it seemed, any number of *manipulative tricks * to try and be successful with women. Fairly safe to say none of them had worked.

Since I have a somewhat * committed * relationship now with a wonderful little gal, I will point out that your techniques and insights also help keep the Romance alive for us attached guys. You know the old story: Boy meets girl, girl changes boy, no more sex. Well, that does not have to be true, Necessarily. Your tips and insights help keep the relationship interesting and fresh.

Just thought I’d point that out. Dood, you should set up a couples counseling practice ! You’d rake in the bucks . . . !

Thanks for everything,


My Comments: Great idea. Therapy sessions start next week!


I have been reading your e mails for a while now. I have to say that success has been on my side since I started reading the e mails. As we well as been cocky and funny, I still attempt to be my self because it relax me when I first approach a female.

Getting to the point, (2 questions)

There is this girl I have been seeing and she goes on and on saying things such as,”you’re perfect their should be more guys like you, I love to be around you” She even asks me to go out on dates. I have used “the kiss test” it worked. She flirts with me a lot should I flirt back then or wait until I am ready? Because she’s very pretty and guys give in to her all the time. I don’t want to be the “average dumb guy”. What to do? 2. In short, there is this girl I have been with before I started reading the e mails. After reading them, I use the methods on her. Good responses. We fell out. Should I call her now (two days from the fall out) orwait a while?

My Comments: First of all, if a woman starts flirting with you, or teasing you, you have to be careful. A lot of guys make the mistake of responding by acting like a puppy, saying that they really like the girl, and generally screwing up the game. If a woman teases, tease back. If she flirts, say “You love me”. Keep it up, and never let her know exactly where she stands with you. This mysterious tension creates and amplifies attraction. As for your “fall out”, I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but if you want to call her, then call her.

Great Success Story…

Hey Dave,

I truly wish I had this information of yours about a year and a half ago. I’d fallen for a girl at my office and threw away the “Don’t dip your pen in the company ink” rule to pursue her. I played it cool until she revealed to me that she wanted to sleep with me. Then, I blew it. I became attached and kept trying to make “that date” with her. After I revealed how I really felt, she just shut down. She became cold and disinterested and I made matters worse by revealing my frustration to her. After much probing on my part (another huge mistake), she cited “lack of confidence” as my main downfall. Now, it’s a different playing field. Between your tips and my adding about 20lbs of muscle, I oozed confidence. I e-mailed her and threw a little cockiness at her. She responded. I kept up the wit and said to her, “Hmm, I don’t know. You’re gonna have to show me that you’re worthy of my precious time.” That was the clincher. She was all over me and the cool thing is that I’m still as cocky as hell with her and it just keeps working. It may have taken a YEAR AND A HALF, but I turned her around. Proof positive that some of my past blunders weren’t as irreparable as I’d thought. My hat’s off to you, Dave. The previously unattainable has now been conquered and I’m moving on.


My Comments: You know, I love to get emails like this one. Now, some guys reading this are going to say “yea, but you started working out, and that’s what made the difference”. Not so. She was interested in you before (she even said so), but you didn’t know how to take it, so you lost. Now that you know how the process works, you didn’t drop the ball. Great job, and congratulations.

Comment From A Woman…

Dear Mr. DeAngelo,

This isn’t a “success story” or question, as a matter of fact, I am not even one of your male readers. I don’t have a clue as to how I started receiving your newsletters, but I kept reading them weekly just because they were so funny to me! AT FIRST, I thought everything you said was absolutely ludicrous and that such things would only work on women with no brain–until I started watching my relationship with my own boyfriend. Now my boyfriend and I date only each other exclusively (and he is the kindest, sweetest man in the world–okay, okay I’m biased:) ) but I started to pay attention to the reasons I was and am so attracted to him. Now I don’t believe that my boyfriend has ever read your book or any materials by you, but in many ways he treats me a lot like how you recommend in your newsletters. He treats me like a “bratty little sister”—teases me, picks on me, etc. etc…..and is in your sense of the word slightly cocky. Not overly arrogant—but just enough so that it really does drive me WILD! (As well as some of the other things that you mention that he does.) And while I may not agree with everything you write, I must admit you do know quite a bit about women! Maybe someone needs to warn the women of the world to watch out for little David DeAngeloites! LOL! Have a wonderful day Mr. DeAngelo!


My Comments: Thanks for your email… I think it really helps us guys to hear some women who are honest about how attracted they are to guys who challenge them.

Success Story…

Dear David,

I have been receiving your newsletters for the past 3 months and honestly, they have worked some magic. To make a long story short, I was with the same girl for 4 years, we were engaged and then things ended back in August. Since reading your newsletters and putting the “I’m cocky/confident, very funny, yet you can’t have me,” attitude on, I have more women than I can handle, beautiful women too! God, I never thought I would say that.

Anyhow, we all know as humans we want what we can’t have…this being my ex fiancé’. She knows me better than anyone on the face of the earth, so this might hurt my chances with cocky routine out the window. Obviously, you don’t know the whole of our relationship, it wasn’t bad, maybe we both got too comfortable and wanted to go out and experience life more without each other. In trying to get her back, I have made your KING MISTAKE with her, I let myself be needy, I have tried making her jealous with other women, I have tried telling her that things would be different. I feel I have tried all I know with no results. She is seeing someone new, which I’m sure is exciting for her. Basically how can i start back at square one to get this girl back? She is afraid that things would go back to the way they were, but my attitude and actions are in a totally different mind set. Thanks for your help… even if I don’t get this one back, I have several others waiting.

My Comments: Well, make sure you don’t act like a WUSS anymore, please. Here’s a key: If a woman thinks of you as a wuss at ANY POINT in the relationship, then ANY FUTURE WUSS BEHAVIOR WILL BE PROOF TO HER THAT YOU ARE STILL INDEED A TOTAL AND COMPLETE WUSS.

And with that said, the best thing you can do right now is start dating other women, and stop calling her. If she knows you as well as you say, then no amount of game playing is going to work on her. It has to be for real. Start dating other women, stop calling her, and get on with your life. And if/when she does show interest in you again, DON’T BE A WUSS! It just isn’t attractive.

Comment From A Woman…

David, I’m an attractive 19 year old from Southern California who has been reading your weekly mailbags and i must say David, you have this stuff down! I get hit on all the time from tall, wealthy, wonderful looking men all day and they always use the wrong approaches. They always have some stupid pickup line. The only thing that’s really going to get my attention is to do something unexpected that i haven’t heard before and that i’m not used to hearing, like teasing me and joking with me, makig fun of me, etc… that’s what it’s all about! Be original, be yourself, and be FUNNY! So many guys make the mistake of trying to be all sweet and nice , but how different is that kind of guy from any other ones that approach me all the time anyway? David, you are a genius and I would recommend this book to every man who wants to get this part of his life taken care of. Also, These guys need to take in all your positive advice and information and use it for the good, not use it to take advantage of women and screw them over, just trying to be cool around their friends and proving that they’re mister mack-daddy. Anyway…there’s one more thing i want to say to all your readers out there…Don’t act like an idiot around women and make her feel like she’ s a goddess, even if you think she is….you have to make her feel like she’s just another girl, one of you “pals” ..when you talk to her. Be yourself and be interesting, because no matter how good looking a guy is, if he has nothing unusual and interesting about his personality, nothing’s going to come out of it..EVER! David, thanks again for making guys realize that being the boring “nice guy” all the time is not the right approach to keep her interested for long. ~Miss L.

My Comments: What else can I say? Thanks for your email. And what’s your phone number?

More Comments From The Ladies…

Hi Dave,

One of my best friends (a woman) started sending me your e mail. First, let me say that I (we) think that most of your advice is right on. I loved the advice on first dates and where to go. FUN FUN FUN. That’s my first test really. If he can’t think of somewhere to go on his own and somewhere fun, it’s already one HUGE strike against him. Sadly, I had a friend (fantastic looking, great guy) ask me once why the girls always go for the jerks. And I told him many of the same things you say. Based on your, and your followers, success stories, I get the feeling that even the things I don’t agree with are probably right on. Having said that, I hope that your advice on NOT to “tell her how you really feel” when you’re alone, does not hold true for some women. I enjoy reading and I can only hope to be fortunate enough to meet a man that has learned confidence and how to handle himself from you. I don’t want to be treated poorly, but I like someone that does not appear clingy and self effacing. Keep up the good work.

L. And S.

My Comments: I have a confession to make… I actually do think it’s a good idea to tell a truly wonderful woman how you feel about her. But only after you have known her a LOOOOOONG time, and only if you DON’T overdo it, and you DON’T act like a wuss when you do. Thanks for your email, and good luck finding a couple of great guys for your nice selves.


Dave, let me start by saying, “i love what you do for people!”

I think that I have had more success with women in the past few months than I have had my whole life. Your techniques work wonders and I was so suprised when I actually started putting them into action. It’s almost too easy. But I do have a concerning question. I am starting to get to know this girl and she’s really digging me, which is cool because she’s one of the most beautiful girls in my work enviornment. we don’t sit near each other, but there’s a lot of people i work with. the problem I’m having is I think I accidentally lost it for a moment and acted a little hastily when we were disscussing a date to go for tea (ie/ friday). she’s kinda strange, which attracts me to her. i like the interesting types. . . but I think i asked her too many times in too short of a period and she said “i’ll call you” i don’t know how to react to this. then she said “i’ll call you soon”, but she’s going on vacation. All the answers i ever got from other women were either yes, and sometimes no. please help. I’m a big fan of your work, and I’d like to know what you think.
-thanks- Y.

My Comments: Well, see the above email about “not dipping your pen in the company ink”. I don’t really think it’s such a great idea to date women you work with, live next to, or are related to by marriage, etc. If you have problems in the future, it can lead to many things bad. As far as you liking kinda strange girls… nice. If you do decide to pursue this, I’d recommend that you wait until she gets back, then pick it up from there. Don’t be impatient.


hey DeAngelo, your book has really helped me, i never understood how important playing hard-to-get really was. I have a question, how do you recommend i respond to girls’ compliments? if they say “You have big muscles.” do i say “Thanks” or “Yeah i know, everyone says that about me” if they tell me they enjoy talking with me etc…do i thank them or keep the cocky attitude?

thanks you’ve really helped me.


My Comments: This is a great question! And for all the guys who are thinking “yea, but I don’t have big muscles…”: You can get compliments if you work on it. Wear interesting shirts… learn magic… learn to draw… do something interesting, and women will compliment you. Now, as far as what to do when the compliments come…

First of all, don’t act flattered! This is an IDEAL time to show off your cocky/funny skills. I have a friend who has comebacks for just about everything.

If a woman says “You’re cute”, he says “You’re cute too. What do you want to do about it?” If she says “Nice shirt” he says “Thanks, would you like to take it off me?”

The key is to come up with FUNNY things to say that are slightly arrogant. You have to make them laugh! If you can say something funny that is also slightly arrogant, and make a woman LAUGH when you say it, you’re half way home.

Success Story…

Dave, after reading your book I felt confident about picking women and I was eager to start using your techniques. That weekend I went out to the bar and walked up to three beautiful women from a spot where they could see me coming. I felt good because I knew that after reading your book I was going to succeed. I said to the women, “You look like your able to have a good time, and I bet I’m able to make you laugh”. All three women were then focused on me. I then said, that there is a catch, if I make you laugh then one of you have to buy me a beer, and I pointed to another one and said, “you have to kiss me”. They all agreed and I ended up making them laugh by bringing with me to the bar a funny magic trick. They all stuck to their promises and I ended up with a phone number that night. Thanks a million, you da man Dave!


My Comments: Can I just tell you how much I love this story!? All I can say is “Nice!”


Hey David,

Great book. I love how you condensed it all down. I was spinning my wheels reading other books and this whole cocky but not too cocky has worked wonders for me. Before, I would mess up or get too scared. Now, just last week, I got emails from two very pretty girls just by talking to them for several minutes. Very cool.

One question: in your book you mention the strategy for the first email and then the follow up for if you don’t hear from then in two days or so.

Is there any particular strategy after that or does one just write them off? One is at my gym and another works at a department store in my area. I wouldn’t mind putting in some extra effort if you think it will do me any good but, if it will not, I don’t want to look needy.

Thanks for all your great advice.


My Comments: If you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to keep it up, I would suggest stopping in and saying “I’m assuming that your electrically must be out, because you haven’t responded to my emails”… then when she makes excuses, just say “Hey, you don’t have to make excuses. There’s nothing wrong with being so poor that you can’t afford electric…” and keep teasing her until she can’t take it, then tell her she can make it up to you by buying you dinner. Try it, at this stage you have nothing to lose… lol. Thanks for the compliments.

The Weekly Comedy…


MY 11 YEAR OLD IS CRAZY ABOUT GIRLS AND HE’S ASKING ME WHAT SHOULD HE DO GET CHICKS ITS DRIVIN ME CRAZY! Please i would really appreciate it if you could end me some tips so i can give them to him.

p.s the girls are the same age as him. From your fan, J.

My Comments: Well, I’m sorry but I can’t help you. I don’t specialize in attracting 11 year old girls. Now, if he was only interested in older women…


David, I read your book and was impressed with the results. Reading it was one of the best things ive done in a long time. Anyways, i got the email and phone # of a girl who plays very-hard-to-get. I can tell that the things i do to play hard-to-get she does naturally. Basically were both playing hard-to-get with eachother, but maintaining a high interest level together. What do you do when they play really hard to get?

My Comments: Ohhh, isn’t it fun when a woman is hard to get? For most of us guys, there is nothing quite as hard to stop thinking about as a woman that is playing hard to get…

She won’t just come out with it and say “I’m interested” or “I’m not interested”… she just keeps up the game, never letting you know where you stand.

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU! You need to learn how to do this yourself, and always do it better than her! My recommendation is that you turn up the volume, don’t call her for awhile, and take the ball back.

…and that about wraps it up for the special mailbag. Whew.

I’m getting more and more great testimonial emails from guys who have dowoloaded my online eBook and are having AWESOME success with what they’re learning. I would recommend that you do the same if you’ve gotten to the point in your life where it’s time to get this handled. Just go HERE to get it now.

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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