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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: HOW TO BE COCKY AND FUNNY” – February 6, 2002

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“Q&A: HOW TO BE COCKY AND FUNNY” – February 6, 2002

WwwOOOOOW! I must have gotten at least 300 emails this week… AWESOME. A quick reminder:

If you want me to include your Success Story and/or question, you will DRAMATCIALLY increase your chances by A) Keeping it short and to the point, two paragraphs at most, B) Tell me a quick story about what’s working for you or AT LEAST what you tried and had not work before you ask your question. In other words, CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING before you ask for help! Of course, I always dig the raving praise letters and will give those my most special attention… lol.

And make sure you send all of your emails to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

Hitting “reply” will very likely result in me never seeing your email.

Just a reminder: Every single one of these letters that I include in my Mailbag and Q&A newsletters are the REAL DEAL… I get emails once in awhile saying “I know you make all that stuff up”… lol, but I don’t. They are all real, every single one of them.

And there are some great ones this week, as usual.




I will get straight to the point. Would you give some of your personal examples of cocky and funny in COMMON situations that I can apply to my own life?…



>MY COMMENTS: Sure. Let’s start with your email…

“I will get straight to the point…”

>[Interrupts you] “Well, this sounds boring already”

“…Would you give some of your personal examples of cocky and funny…”

>[Interrupts again] “Do you have any money?”

“in COMMON situations that I can apply in my own life? …”

>”Sure, don’t ask boring questions.”

…I’m very proud of myself for integrating creativity into my response.

I have given so many examples in my book and in these newsletters that it’s almost painful.

Do yourself a favor:

Sit down with a blank piece of paper, and write down a “common situation”. Then, write down an arrogant comment for the situation. Finally, rework the comment to add humor. Hey Beavith, that’th kool.

Let’s say you wrote down “At a Bar” for your sitation, then you wrote down “These people don’t have any class” as your arrogant comment. Now for the magic:

“What’s going on in here? It looks like a Puff Daddy clothing ad gone all wrong…”

“I’ll bet you a lot of these people were bummed when they stopped selling Hamm’s beer…”

“So what do you say we cruise down to Target after we’re done here to see if we can get with the hip fashion scene in this place?”

Cummon, I know you can do it. You may actually have to use the creative part of your mind, but I know you can… so give it a try…

“I’ll bet you a dollar that there is at least one Ford Pinto station wagon with flames on the hood and at least one Vega in the parking lot of this bar…”


Dear David,

Most of the girls i know think i’m great fun, i’m the kind of guy who at parties makes everyone laugh and has all the girls talking to him but ends up going home alone and empty handed. I’m not hidious or anything infact most of the girls i know think i’m pretty cute but still none of them ask me out. what i want to know is why, what am i doing wrong.

>MY COMMENTS: Click here:

[ebook download link]

…and let the DE-WUSS-IFICATION begin.

You know, you claim to always go home empty handed… but something tells me that your hand doesn’t remain empty for the entire evening…

[Another Cocky and Funny comment purely for the benefit of the previous contributor. OK, so I was laughing my ass off as I typed it. I admit it.]

***BLATANT (and real) ENDORSEMENT***


Let me start by saying I feel a “little” dumb now, thanks. Either way, I bought your book, and within one paragraph I was taken. It is simply amazing that it could be so simple. ANYWAY, I JUST WANT TO RECOMEND YOUR BOOK TO EVERYONE THAT RECIEVES YOUR E-MAIL AND DOES NOT HAVE IT. Since this is short, I’m hoping it’ll make it in the next letter you send out.

peace. . . and tight work.

Always Here,


>MY COMMENTS: Like I said, there’s a soft spot in my heart for raving testimonials. And, I really appreciate it. It took me a long time to really put all of the pieces together into a system that made sense to me… that I could use to get consistent success. I’m glad it’s helped you.


“okay, i just read your e-mail about manipulation. I have been dating this girl, and pretty much bending over backwards for her. out of no where she calls and just wants to be friends. All of the things that you used to do to manipulate, such as being nice when you didnt feel that way, and accepting manipulative behavior….. That is like my life story with this girl. I cooked for her like 3 times, i would teach her guitar, hell… i even lent her my priceless 20 year old acustic to learn on. She did’nt do much in return… and the nicer I was, the more I actually felt manipulated! The more I would do for her, the less respect I got in return. Now that I’m not with her and I now hang out with her as a friend…. I want to know what to do….. how should I start acting? I don’t want her back… I just want to be able to manipulate her like she did to me…. I want to prevent this from ever happening to me again. If you can help , then it would be GREATLY appreciated. You have responded to my e-mailed questions in the past, and I tell you now that this is the most important e-mail I hae ever sent to you. Well, thank you so much for the advice so far.

Your Greatest Fan


>MY COMMENTS: As I was reading your email, I was thinking to myself “Wow, I’ve been there, I really know how you feel…”

But then I got to the “I just want to be able to manipulate her like she did to me….” part.

I mean, cummon, man. Get a life.

I went from thinking “It’s too bad that this guy didn’t understand what was going on” to thinking “This guy is really a loser and I’m glad SHE picked up on this and hit the road.”

If you were doing her favors with the thought in the back of your mind of “If she doesn’t repay me in kind then I’m going to get her back some day” then you’re missing the boat entirely.

This girl was doing what attractive women often do:

She was taking as much as she could get and seeing if she could prove that you were really as much of a wuss as you seemed to be (maybe she was right?).

I don’t mean to be too harsh here (Wait a minute, yes I do), but you need to see that the problem is inside of you, not inside of her (or any other woman).

I’d recommend that you take a few steps back from the situation and get over your deep seated neurotic idea that life is or should be fair. It’s not.

So get over it and stop getting upset because you’re letting women take advantage of you. In fact, you’re taking advantage of yourself, then blaming it on them.

Now, pick yourself back up, get on with your life, and stop sending me emails asking how you can get back at women.

[Note: I included this one because I want to make it clear that my philosophy is not one based on fear, obligation, neediness, vindictive behavior, or hurting other people. If a situation isn’t working out for you, say “Next” and get on with your life. Don’t act like a “Girlie-Wuss” who can’t handle the real world.]


“I take the train downtown and then walk 10 minutes or so from the station to my work. I see LOTS of girls along the way, either waiting for the train on the platform, or walking on the sidewalks. What approaches would be good in this situation?

One drawback seems to be that people are always in groups, and no one is ever talking to each other. If I approach a girl, everyone is gonna hear what I say. I find that that undermines my confidence!”

>MY COMMENTS: As a general rule, if you approach a woman who is with other people and take an “I’m interested in you, and I could care less what the hell other people think. I’m not here to please them” kind of attitude, women find this VERY attractive.

Just be very cool and matter of fact, and treat the others well. Don’t try to please them or pander to them, just smile and say hi… then get on with getting the email/number of the girl you’re interested in. I don’t know who originally said this, but I like it: “What other people think of you is none of your business.”



I started getting your email about 5 months ago and bought your book about 3 months ago. all i have to say is your a genius i now feel more confident with myself toward woman. although i am still mastering your techniques it takes time but it is starting to pay off. and by the way the one thing i noticed is that i got a tattoo recently and this creates mystery to the woman. this is an excellent conversation starter because they always ask questions about it. just telling you to keep up the good work

p.s. are you going to come out with a second book?

Sincerly K.”

>MY COMMENTS: There are certain things that make it more likely that a woman will strike up a conversation with you…

1) Tattoos
2) Interesting piercings
3) Outrageous clothing
4) Magic tricks
5) Art or music
6) Your dog
7) Beating your dog

Now, I’d personally stick with numbers 4-6, and I might even take a few minutes and come up with some more that fit my style, if I had a mind to… (Hint, hint).


As far as the second book, stay tuned. There are a some great surprises on the way…


“Hey Dave!

I don’t really have a success story, because I’m kind of in the middle of one…. I just wanted to let you know that I love getting these e-mails… I love them! I can totally relate to all the things that are talked about in some of them. They crack me up!!! any way I just wanted to thank you for your expertise. Oh yeah I did want to comment on one thing… the other day I said something that ticked my girl off for a second, and I said “what you can’t take a joke?” Just like you said to… she instantly went into a defense and said “Oh yes I can shut up” and by this time she had forgotten that she was even mad… the trick worked like a charm and I thought it was terrific!

Thanks again,


>MY COMMENTS: Ahhh, you’ve touched on one of my favorite ideas… how to use little comments and gestures to stay in control of the situation… while at the same time being very charming, cocky, and funny.

I personally like to use what I call the “Sly Smile.” I’ll make a Cocky and Funny comment, but if she doesn’t get it or takes it too seriously, I’ll just smile in a sly way that say “I was kidding, and it’s funny that you didn’t get it.” Magic.


“First off, congratulations on the book. It is no nonsense and definitely lays it all out simply and clearly. Though I’ve never had a problem with women, “Double Your Dating»” did just that – my dating life increased at least 100%. In fact, as I’m writing this, the cocktail waitress from the nightclub I was at last night just left my house (it’s 9:30am by the way…)

The reason I bring that up is because it pertains to my question. Now, obviously the girl was diggin’ me, and my game was locked down (she came home with me and 6 OTHER GUYS, and we all partied after work…) The thing is, though, that two of the other guys were trying to ‘run game’ as it were, and failed miserably. That was fun to watch. But while I was talking to her, getting her interested in me, etc. I noticed that the way I was doing it was by playing almost the “boyfriend” role – i.e. protecting her from the other guys, chatting with her about nonsense, teasing her, etc. like we had been dating for years. Now, don’t get me wrong, I landed the girl, but I realized that with every girl, I almost make them think of me as boyfriend material and not ONS material! But I want the ONS!


>MY COMMENTS: LOL! So you’re telling me:

1) You got her to like you by pretending to be her boyfriend, and…

2) You don’t want women to get the idea that you’re their boyfriend because you like the one nighters.

Should I charge you for this?


That will be $500.00 please. And hold the applause down…

I know it sounds simple, but you might try it. You know, just do all the other things that work and leave out the “We’ve been in love for a year” parts.


“Hey Dave man!!!!

I’m taking your advice and not being an ass kisser, so I won’t say how much your book rules (even though it does). I’m seeing 2 girls and potentially 3, but I have some questions. First off, any advice when dealing with a really shy woman? It’s tough to do some of the things like the kiss test when they’re timid (but oh so cute). Second, the potential one I’m kind of interested in, but definitely not long-term, and I think she knows that, but I’d like to get to know her and have a little fun…any words of wisdom? Third, this may be covered in the book and I haven’t gotten to that chapter yet, but any style advice when it comes to clothing? I’m clueless there. Thanks in advance dude!”

>MY COMMENTS: I’ll answer them in reverse.

Yes, style advice is in the book. Turn to page 23.

To contestant number 2, just keep on doing what you’re doing. Women usually know what’s going on, and she’ll start making relationship noises if she really wants one. Until then, keep doing what’s working.

And about the oh-so-cute shy girls: I know, I know… but you must remember that if you’re the one that brings the shy girl out of her shell, she’s probably going to want to marry you… and if she’s not very experienced with guys, you might mess with her head too much. Do the right thing.


I started getting your e-mails right when things started going wrong with my girlfriend. Our relationship started out quite well, and escalated quite quickly. We matched each other call for call and went out regularly. After some time apart, due to summer break from college, I met back up with the intentions of becoming a couple. The first couple of days was great, and then out of the blue she said she wanted to break up. I was caught off guard by the whole fiasco and turned into a “wuss”. She tucked tail and ran. We talked off and on for the following month, and I got a rollercoaster ride I wished that I had not.

Due to the cold and warm treatment, I decided to end it. I walked her to her room and said, if this is really the end, then you had better kiss me goodbye, because it is going to be your last. We made Out, I left and never called her again. Two months later she called to see how I was doing. I read your e-mails, (expert coaching might I mention) and told her how well my dating had been going with several other ladies, (which I had acquired through your cocky- funny technique). A couple of months later, I bumped into her and she gave me a great big hug, and wished to know how my Christmas was. I told her I couldn’t talk right now, but if she was interested she could call me if she liked, and we could discuss it over a cup of coffee and some stimulating conversation, (thanks for the line).

She called me the next day, leaving a message with my roomate that she was free all day saturday. I called her back telling her that I had plans and couldn’t do it then. She nearly begged me to reschedule for another time. I scheduled another time, and then cancelled it with a “my-friend-is-sick” story. I rescheduled for a final time and decided to play racquette ball. She was so worked up, she called me an hour early to make sure I remembered that we were going to go play. I teased her the entire time. Made her laugh, and pretty much did everything I have read. When it was time to leave I didn’t go in for the usual hug, but patted her on the arm an said, maybe if I find the time I will call you. Dave, what is the next step?

Please help!

Thanks for Everything.”

>MY COMMENTS: OK, so you’re trying to tell me that by reading a few emails you were able to COMPLETELY turn your situation around… and get this girl to pursue you after you drove her off by being a wuss…



1) Keep doing what’s working.


[ebook download link]

I love this. I get to have fun answering emails, then shamelessly self-promote my book… what a life.

LOOK, I started out about four years ago not having ANY CLUE what to say to a woman I was interested in. I didn’t know how to approach women, what to say, how to land the first kiss… NOTHING. I’m really serious here. I have spent YEARS learning and testing every single possible thing I could find in the way of “meeting women” with the single exception of getting a mail order bride. We’re talking some SERIOUS trial and error here.

After working out a system that worked very well in all kinds of situations, I wrote it all down, and put it in my book.

And if you want to learn it all, you have to read it… it’s that simple. It boggles my mind that guys will spend a hundred bucks on a college textbook, two hundred bucks on a pair of shades, a hundred bucks on a date… and on and on… but still not take advantage of the opportunity to get my book and the three free bonus reports that come with it for only thirty nine dollars and ninety five cents… lol… and it comes with a guarantee that goes like this: Read it, and if you don’t like it, email me and I’ll give you all of your money back and you can keep the book!

[ebook download link]

You’ll have your materials and be reading in a few minutes from right now.

Stay tuned for more fun in the future.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. Just a reminder: You can order by mail or by PayPal now, so check it out.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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