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Ambiguous statements that both compliment and question their beauty
3/16/02 10:54:40 AM Eastern Standard Time
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David Update:
The mini-seminar on Sunday, March 17th starts TOMORROW at 11:00 a.m.! The
purpose is to tape the event and then market it as a product. There's a
good number of guys who have responded and we should have a nice
crowd. The cost to attend is $25 Canadian and attendance will entitle you
to a discounted price on the final product. Contact me for the rest of the
details.
The last time we did this (to get material for the book), David was really
on and the tapes would have made a great "basic course." But the taping
was not done professionally and the quality wouldn't be good enough. The
book is also well into production and we hope to have something available
soon. If you have interest in attending, email me.
Private in person or telephone consultations with David are available.
PLEASE NOTE: This David is not to be confused with David DeAngelo of
www.doubleyourdating.com (who has posted some great stuff here under the
name "Sisonpyh"), or David Shade (of www.davidshade.com).
David is particularly intuitive with regard to your specific individual
problems with certain women. You can get on the phone, answer his
questions on the situation, and he will give you very insightful advice on
how to succeed in your particular mission.
He's had some spectacular results, and you will be reading much more about
this soon.
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Problems getting these emails? My problem in asking you about having
problems is that if you are you probably aren't seeing this question. But
I have been having a number of complaints lately that people aren't getting
the emails. I am working on a solution but for the time being I would like
everyone to know that unless you requested to be removed from the mailing
list, you are still on it. So if you aren't getting it (and somehow or
other are aware of this note to contact me if you are not getting it),
please get in touch with me and I will resend what you missed.
One guy who has been on the list for a long time wrote to say he hadn't
gotten it regularly for months - I think his problem is having an AOL
accounts which seems to sometimes delete emails that are too long or
something like that.
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Jonathan Ashton:
Report on the Mystery Method» San Francisco Workshop, 7-9 March 2002 (this
is part 1 of 3)
(Summary: It rocked, but started slow. Might not be suitable for people whose
barrier to approaching is too high, but everyone else will gain big.)
On 7 March 2002, a Thursday, six men met at an upscale bar in San Francisco
downtown's South of Market (SOMA) area to learn the art of pulling hotties in
their natural habitat.
Our cast of characters: Cougar, the youngest of our group, is already a
practiced seducer but not yet a PUA; he came to be educated in group tactics.
Grizzly, the oldest of our group (late 40s), a tall teddy bear of a man.
Cobra, a soft-spoken well-dressed gentleman who proved to be an approaching
machine. Wolf, a short but broad-shouldered Frenchman. Stallion, the
handsomest of our group and ironically the one who had the most
difficulties--not because of lack of natural talent, but because of internal
attitudes. And finally, your most unhumble narrator.
Day 1. In which our heroes take their first baby steps, awash in ugly; the Man
of Mystery launches in the general direction of the skies through heavy
turbulence; an "approach robot" is born while others wuss out; and our
narrator
correctly navigates a fork in the river that runs from his birth to his final
return to the primordial sea.
Twenty minutes late, our mentors arrive: Chris Powles, acting as Mystery's
official wing, and the mysterious man himself. They've just driven all the way
to SF from LA. Some of you may remember Chris as a student in the very first
Mystery Method» Workshop (in LA last year) who posted the most detailed reports
on it. He's winged Mystery on many of the workshops since, and says he's
making a lifestyle out of this.
Mystery himself is as congenial as you would expect, but not as
hyperkinetic as
I thought he would be. He's generally calm and relaxed, but he has the energy
to hit groups hard, one after another, late into the night. As many of you
know, he's 6'4" or 6'5" with a thin build, so he stands out wherever he goes.
To make sure of that, he is dressed in a dark pin-striped casual suit and a
variety of accoutrements--a piercing in his lower lip with a spiked stud in
it,
earrings, a tongue stud, red coloring on the ends of his long brown hair, a
"mojo bag" hanging from his neck (looks faintly like testicles and Mystery has
a routine that takes advantage of that fact), and fingernails painted black.
All in the name of peacocking, which he does as heavily as possible. His
"tribal" accessories project a primal image--the man looks like sex.
Chris, who like Mystery is in his late 20s, is wearing a casual shirt and tie
in two bold contrasting colors and a lip ring. Chris exudes cool and fun,
speaks colorfully, has a bullet-fast wit, and is clearly on his way to PUA
mastery.
He's not classically pretty (like Stallion or to a lesser degree Mystery), but
he knows how to create a compelling character out of his looks. Like Thom
Yorke. But I'm getting ahead of myself...
The first order of business is to find a place to sit and conduct a meeting.
This is a futile effort because of a party taking place at the bar, which is
named W because it adjoins a restaurant named xyz. (If you visit, try the xyz
soup--delicious with a gruyere base.)
The hottie quotient at W is high; while looking for a space we watched the
back
of an amazing figure wiggle into the ladies' room. Mystery pointed out this
was the ideal time for an approach--not to her, but to her three friends
sitting at a table at the bar. That way the obstacles would be befriended
before the target ever returned, and nobody would ever suspect the PUA's true
intentions.
We move to Chevy's across the street to dine and dish. Mystery goes over
some basics, notably smiling (his first "characteristic of an alpha male»"). He
feels it's poorly understood in the online forums. First off, the smile should
be BIG. Phony, yes, but BIG. They can't tell it's phony unless you keep it up
too long right in front of them. Second, the smile should be on in two
occasions: when you appear through the door (because people are watching the
entrances), and when you walk up. You can let the smile fade as you get into
your routine or opener. He thinks this little detail has a big effect on his
(and your) sarges.
We go around the table, and each student is asked to discuss what he wants out
of the workshop, where he is currently, and (yikes) how many women he's
done in
his lifetime. Each student's appearance and manner are critiqued in turn, and
the other students are asked to participate in the critique. What impression
does this guy give? Does he stand out? Is his clothing interesting? Does he
try to blend in, or stand out? What is his character? And most importantly,
Does He Look Like A Guy Who Gets Laid A Lot?
Everyone is told to peacock more. Wolf is told that his clothing blends into
the background, and he needs to fight the urge to fit in. Grizzly is advised
to get rid of his glasses (contacts or Lasik surgery), shave his full beard to
a sharp goatee, and--most importantly--make power suits his sarging wardrobe.
I think it's a great call; Grizzly's large build and older age makes him a
perfect candidate for the "strict daddy" role, which is probably the most
effective way for an older man to sarge younger women. Grizzly expressed
strong reluctance; suits are alien to him. But I hope after some thought he
will get into the spirit of role playing and try the role on.
The prognosis for me? Basically, I should look more like Mystery. (I share
his build and long hair.) Affect a Gothic style: snug white frilly shirt with
ruffles and jabot, narrow black suit, velvet or felt pants, tall Gothic boots,
big hair, perhaps a Victorian top hat, fake piercings, a fake tattoo. They
tell me to emphasize my narrow build and femininity. I also get hair grooming
advice and orders to SMILE MORE! SMILE BIGGER!
The dynamic between Mystery and Chris is fascinating: Mystery is a bit of a
non-linear thinker. That doesn't mean he's not rigorous; it means he takes
conversation tangents like a mad explorer, offering up long routines and
technical essays. Chris occasionally reins him in and gets us going back
around the circle of students, questioning and critiquing.
Mystery tells us about a time he shared an elevator with a strange woman,
going
down from the observation deck of a tower. She saw his black nails and said to
him (in a nervous voice), "Are you a...devil worshipper?" He turned slowly
toward her and said, "[pause...] We're going down, aren't we?" Her physiology
completely changed, and she craned her head up and forward, and kept her head
up for fifty floors. When the doors opened, she walked out with her head still
craned up.
Through our laughter he tells us that this is one of his entertainment
routines
(which often follows his famous Black Nails Opener). It's a lovely
demonstration of how a routine can defuse a set of obstacles. The story isn't
really true, but it's an embellished composite of several things that have
happened to him.
More technique talk, then the eight of us proceed to the rented limousine
(stocked with champagne that Mystery forbids us to drink, for obvious reasons)
and Chris teaches us three openers for the evening. Two are the same as Chris
reported from the first workshop, although they've been embellished a bit
since
then. (Partly by me, since I don't remember exactly how Chris taught them.)
One. With great enthusiasm, "Omigod, did you see those two girls fighting
outside? They were totally going at it; one was pulling the others' hair, and
the other one drew blood with her nails. And they seemed to be fighting over
this short guy; he was standing near them just lllaaaughing!"
Two. "Do you think spells work?" Sometimes this will send the woman off on a
long blab, but if the conversation needs to be kept going, the follow-up
routine is, "The reason I'm asking is because my friend over there met a girl
in a club last week. He wasn't interested in her sexually, because she wasn't
really his type." (Here the woman might say "Sure," in which case you reply
"No, really!" and touch her arm or waist.) "Anyway, she hung out at his house
and after she left, he found a metal ring wrapped around a scroll and some
feathers under his couch. Well, he took it to a magick store and they said it
was an attraction spell. And now, the strange thing is, he can't stop thinking
of her. Do you think it's the spell or just psychological?"
Three. This one is used to wing your buddy, especially if he's in a two-set
and the obstacle needs to be kept occupied. "Hey, my friend here just got
invited to be on the Ricki Lake show. But the theme of the show is Secret
Admirers. They told him he's got an admirer, but he won't find out who until
he's live on the set. So maybe it'll be someone cute, but maybe not; it might
even be a guy. What would you do if you were him?"
What if some woman hears the same opener or routine from two of us? Play off
it; "Oh, cool, you met my friend!" Don't let it ruffle you. I agree with the
attitude, but I think this aspect of the workshop could be improved--perhaps
it's asking newbie students to overcome too many fears at once. Happily for
me, I had spent the previous day preparing my own cheat sheet of openers and
routines to avoid this problem.
Out of the limo and into a club. Unfortunately, the first day is not nearly as
good as the last two, because none of us knows the SF club scene, and we
choose
hottie-poor clubs. After the lesson at Chevy's, we should have gone back
across the street to W again to commence sarging. Instead, we go to Six, which
I suggest because I've read that its upper floor is relatively quiet and full
of couches. Unfortunately, it doesn't look nearly as nice live as it does in
the blue-lit pictures I've seen.
Strangely, the divine specimen we'd discussed at W is here at Six, and Mystery
leads off by approaching her and her babely-but-not-as-exquisite friend. It
can't be easy with a gagglefuck of guys watching, some of them in an obvious
manner, but he's not ruffled. I walk around behind the girls so I can observe
outside their field of view. Mystery does routines, he does magic, he charms
them for a while, then he gets shut out.
Mystery debriefs all of us fifteen feet in front of the girls. He'd been doing
well until he started a psychic routine and reached into his pocket for a
pencil...which wasn't there. He sent Chris to grab a pencil from the bar, but
too much time passed, and his brain was a train off the tracks in the wake of
that gape. No routine going, chick gets bored, game over. I guess it happens
to the best of us.
While speaking to several of us, Mystery verbally (not physically, thankfully)
points out a two-set behind me and suggests that somebody should open that
set.
Then he looks at me and said, "Why not you?"
Odd that club approaches seem so intimidating, since I've done enough
approaches (well, usually on lone women) outside of clubs. Maybe it's because
of a few bad experiences I had in clubs when I was a supremely shy
19-year-old.
And, of course, this is a _two-set_!
"Um, okay."
"Use the `Omigod did you see those girls fighting?'"
This is, kind of sort of, the moment I ponied up my cash for. Orders to march,
the Master is watching. A bifurcation in my life's course, to be decided in
ten seconds. I can prove I have the determination to reach my long-term
goal--become a PUA, master of the social realm--or I can give it up, perhaps
with half my reason for living. But suddenly I can't put off the decision any
longer. Not under the eyes of the man himself.
Of course, there's only one way out. I close my eyes and cover them with my
arm for four seconds, trying to get the words of the opener back in my head.
Eyes reopened, smile plastered on my face (I think), I spin on my heel and up
I walk and do my opener, standing over the couch where the two girls sit
looking up at me with bewilderment. Out come words, who knows what, that
I somehow conjure on the fly because I've already forgotten half the
details of
the opener.
"Was the guy blond?" answered the Asian girl.
After a few exchanges, we conclude that we're talking about the same guy.
I move on into a second opener/routine, which I modeled off of "Do spells
work?" the day before the workshop began. My opener is "I was just discussing
something with my friends, and I'd like to get a woman's perspective. Do you
think everything happens for a reason?"
When conversation runs out after that question, I have a follow-up routine.
"The reason I ask is because I have a friend in LA. Two years ago, he got
mugged on the street and beaten up, and spent a week in the hospital. After he
got out, he started having nightmares every night, month after month.
Sometimes he would call me at four in the morning. After a year, he decided to
go see a therapist. Well, the therapist didn't do anything about the
nightmares, but...in the therapist's waiting room, he met this girl,
and...just
last weekend they got married." (Sometimes I say "...just last weekend, I
attended their wedding.")
I wait for the reaction, then say "So my friend is convinced the reason he got
beaten up is so he'd meet her. What do you think?" (Sometimes I follow up
later with, "And you know what else? He says that ever since his first night
with her, he hasn't had a nightmare again.")
I like this routine because it uses a strong 101 pattern--taking the girl
on an
emotional trip up, then down, then up again. And I love watching the more
expressive women I tell it to--their faces go from horror to heartstrings. You
can see some of them taking a sharp open-mouthed breath on the punchline.
Not these girls, though.
The prettier girl gets bored early in the "girls fighting" routine and starts
ignoring me, but the Asian girl is earnest in her conversation. We chat for a
while, even though I'm too much in the "aware state" to hear much of what she
says. During my delivery, a male friend of the prettier girl comes by and
delivers her a drink (social proof in action, I guess). Twenty seconds after
that, I interrupt my "for a reason" routine briefly to drop Mystery's famous
"Hey, your nose wiggles when you talk! It's so quaint!" neg on her, then
I continue talking with the Asian girl. The negged girl doesn't respond, and
her body language» changes so minimally that I can't gauge her reaction. I soon
eject from the Asian girl--"Pleasure meeting you."
That's pretty much the worst response I get all weekend. Every approach after
that is easier.
I go downstairs to the dance floor and almost immediately approach a woman
whose entire job is apparently to project computer-generated light effects on
one small wall of the basement. I open by asking about her kit (I'm honestly
curious), then I repeat my "Do things happen for a reason?" routine. Great
response and smiley conversation, though I learn through the tangents how
happy
she is with her boyfriend.
Back upstairs I watch Mystery work the 8.5 bartender (from an angle behind
her)
for quite some time. He does routines and levitates a plastic beer cup. But
she's working, time is short, her friends are watching, and the close eludes
him. While debriefing, he tells us that he feels his failure was because he
couldn't pawn off any cuties (that is, walk up to the bar with decent
girlflesh
on his arms). He claims he even said it to the bartender: "The reason you're
acting like this is because you aren't seeing me with my social proof! But
this is an _ugly_ bar." Somehow he intones it so you _know_ it's not the bar
he's talking about.
Back into the limo on a doomed quest for greater hottie density. Chris lauds
Cobra for being an approaching machine--apparently he did eight approaches at
the first club alone, always with the Spells Opener. Chris says he's the most
fearless student they've had at any of the workshops.
We arrive at DNA Lounge (not my suggestion, thankfully), which is nearly
empty.
I do a half-approach on two girls smoking outside (it doesn't really count as
an approach, as Cobra was already talking to them) and do my standard routine.
They flirt with us well--suggesting we all climb back in the limo and drive to
Vegas--but my brain is too absorbed in delivery to be able to conduct a normal
flirtatious conversation.
Which brings me to one of the big lessons I learned from the workshop: the
reason to use canned routines is that repetition frees up enough neurons that
you can gauge women's responses and respond quickly to anything outside the
program. Canned routines rule--once you've performed them often enough to
deviate from them freely. The next two days proved this to me.
Nevertheless, my conversation with one of the girls goes well, and I manage a
clumsy close with Sisonpyh's "Do you have email?"
it>, she replies. "Well, do you have electricity?" She laughs. From there
I lose the program and close clumsily. She claims not to have a phone, then
gives me her email address! Surely not a warm close, even though she was
acting warmly. I might email her something goofy just for fun.
I go inside and disappointedly discover a paucity of population. Mystery works
on one of the hired go-go dancers, and their body language» is a smouldering
dance with a few inches between them. Despite their obvious physical
synchrony, he can't kiss close, but he gets her number. The close is difficult
because--at least she claims that--she's not allowed to let customers close
her. She slips him her number surreptitiously. His first close of the
evening.
He works on a bartender downstairs--with all of us more or less watching from
within twelve feet!--and demonstrates a magic routine on her. We return to the
limo to debrief, and he tells us that she said he seems like a bit of an
asshole. "I am an asshole!" he replied to her--not that it helped. Chris says
Mystery's mistake was to treat a 6 like a 9--too many negs--and Mystery agrees.
We return to W, which is now abandoned, and debrief. We go around the circle
and talk about each student's successes, failures, and sticking points.
Grizzly and Stallion didn't do any approaches at all. Stallion is conflicted
because he feels he's lived his life as a person who practices complete
honesty, he can't reconcile himself to telling a bullshit routine, and he
prefers to just talk about real things. Chris and Myst assure him that when
they've done that, they've never been able to attract women nearly as
effectively.
Chris says that my main problem was an inability to go with the flow when
women
took tangents away from my routine; I would eventually drag the conversation
back to finishing the routine. (This problem went away over the next few days
simply by internalizing the routines.) When the one girl talked about running
off to Vegas, Chris suggests I should have flirted back with a take-away, "You
would get into a limo with a bunch of strange men? I don't know if we want to
hang out with women like that." Yep, that's what I should have said.
But hey, I seem to be the only student who closed today, pathetic as my close
was.
We adjourn for the evening. I'm stuck downtown until BART (rail transit) opens
at 4:30 am, so I chit-chat with Chris and Myst while they fuss over not having
the keys to Chris' car (which are still with the attendant, who has long since
left for the night). Our relieved heroes find the car in the lot, unlocked,
with a spare set of keys in Mystery's jacket inside the car. I think this is
the moment when the real magic begins, and continues for the next two days.
. . . . . . . To Be Continued --- Day 2 . . . . . .
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Mystery:
> Insider: As I look at Mystery's website on the things he does that
enables him success (and can appreciate what he does!), these seem like
"kiddie" tricks, and hence it is more apparent to me that hot chycks in
America are very much like a little children, and children don't
particularly like "art".
Mystery: It's not about them being IMPRESSED by your ART (whether
performance or painting or sculpting or music). It's about the SOCIAL PROOF
you get WITH it. If you are a NO NAME artist, that is like being a NO NAME
musician. A woman isn't even all that impressed if they get a chance to see
or hear your art personally. The REAL MAGIC is demonstrating (or showing)
your art to a group of people, have them oooh and aaah and the target sees
the group's BEHAVIOR. If the group says you are great, the target will
choose you (own the men and you own the women / surround yourself with
girls and you get more girls). So, to SAY you are an artist is crap. You
have to use your art to create SOCIAL PROOF and THAT is what will attract
your target to you.
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Craig:
Here are some more openers. Most of my approaches take place when I am
walking by a girl in a club. I would say, "YOU are a really nice
girl!...You see you and I...We have a alot in common! (look at what see is
wearing) You like red shirts...Red is my favorite color! You have a ring on
your finger...I ALSO have a ring on my finger! What kind of drink is that?"
Girl: "Vodka Collins". "Oh my God! It just so happens that I LIKE Vodka
Collins!" "Do you like long walks on the beach?" Girl: "sure". Perfect!
This is great! I'm glad we met!....BUT......(pause, pull back and give a
confused look).........There is one thing wrong here. Girl: "What?"
You can say what ever you want here.
Examples:
"Those shoes have to go!"
"You are too shy! I've been here for AT LEAST 15 minutes and you didn't
come up and say hi or hello or anything!"
"Well, I think that because we have so much in common, you are irresistibly
attracted to me, and we just met, and I'M trying to play hard to get right
now!"
"I'm already married! Hahaha, just kidding!" If you are really young and
she knows you probably aren't married.
"I just raised my rates, and I don't think you could afford me!"
"You have very bad taste in men because I've been here 15 minutes and you
haven't said a word to me! Or are you really shy or something?"
Give me some feedback or more ideas.
Another good one I have been using is going up and tapping a girl on the
shoulder and saying "Do you remember me?" Girl; "No...where do I know you
from?"
"You seriously don't remember? Jeez, where you really drunk or something?
Are you sure?"
Girl: "Where did I meet you? I don't remember."
"Well, ok now you're in trouble. You were standing over there at the bar
with your friends and I walked right by you. That was me! I thought for
sure you noticed!"
or
Well, ok now you're in trouble. You were standing over there at the bar
with your friends and I walked right by you. I was throwing you the vibe, I
thought for sure you noticed cause then I felt someone grab my ass! You
mean that wasn't you?"
The last one for today is "Are you girls like trying to pick up every guy
here tonight?"
"No...Why?"
"Oh, ok, good 'cause my friend and I were feeling a little left out 'cause
you haven't said a word to us!"
At the end of many openers, girls will laugh and say "Nice line", and you
have to counter with..."Oh no no no...I'm not trying to pick anyone up
tonight...I have to wax my dog later and it's very important! I appreciate
the offer though!
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NightLight9:
> Treswww: Seduction 101, for Guys by Paul Wolf
NightLight9: Was what followed this an excerpt from the book or Treswww? I
think it was all accurate, but fairly rudimentary framing. If you read that
and didn't immediately recognize it as framing and as something you do
regularly, then you need to concentrate on this part of your game. For the
rest of us, is there much more advanced stuff in there? Also, is there stuff
in there on picking up girls vs. framing the situation with women you are
already sleeping with?
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Jeff:
>Insider: As I look at Mystery's website on the things he does that
enables him success (and can appreciate what he does!), these seem like
"kiddie" tricks, and hence it is more apparent to me that hot chycks in
America are very much like a little children, and children don't
particularly like "art".
Jeff: After having been through Mysteries workshop, I must respectfully
disagree. I watched him work several dozen groups and all of the women he
number closed were more enthralled with his magical skill, command of
language, presence, and alpha male» qualities. I'd hardly say they were into
"kiddie tricks". He exudes and teaches us all to have these qualities. It
became apparent that this was what the women were attracted to. In
addition, his magical "gimmicks" were more like ice breakers, and artfully
done to throw the really hot chycks off balance.
Being new to the ASF and Mystery Method», I was at first against the whole
idea of "negging" women. Then after the first couple of days, the
psychology of the whole approach became apparent. As Mystery said "9's and
10's have different rules than 8's." I've now been using for the past
couple of weeks and it is so completely true. Really hot chycks expect to
be noticed for their looks and when you don't, they become very insecure.
Furthermore, by throwing out ambiguous statements that both compliment and
question their beauty, they become completely off balance. This is where
the art of the method resides. The whole approach really reminded me of a
martial art -- and I do mean art. What he teaches can only be done with
practice and a great deal of skill that you develop by doing. Therefore, it
is, in my opinion, a real art -- not a "kiddie" trick. His whole group
theory and approach work -- and I believe in doing what works!
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