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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: Starting Conversations With Women, Part 2” – March 19, 2002

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“Q&A: Starting Conversations With Women, Part 2” – March 19, 2002



i am a 28 year old divorcee with a child. i was one of those wusses and that is why i am divorced now. it took me a long time and your book to figure that out. however, i am a fairly good looking man and with your tips, woman have seen me differently. my dating has increased and now woman come to me. unfortunately not the ones that i want (hot and thin). i know that will get better in time with more work. now to the point of this e-mail. i have this girl at work that is a very mature 18 and she knows it. she will never date a man her age because they are too immature. i started busting her balls a lot and she started showing me all the tale tell signs of interest. however, another girl at work told me that she was talking about me and out of her mouth was that she is not sure of me because i am a little old and more experienced than her and i have a kid. what can i say to her to get past these obstacles? i make no excuses for my son, i love him very much. i know i have her on the brink!! what do i do? thnx ahead of time for your wisdom and sharing with the rest of us guys.

A., Hilliard, OH”

>MY COMMENTS: It’s important for you to understand that you don’t need to “say” anything.

You just need to remember to do the things that make her feel ATTRACTION inside, and she’ll find her own reasons to stay with you. Get it?

Forget logic, think attraction.

Play hard to get. Stop calling her all the time. Tease her more.

Don’t you dare let any of her judgements about you change how you behave! Stick to what works.


“Im a 19 yr old British guy who has had below par success with women until recently. I haven’t got your book or anything but I read your email every week and although I don’t consciously set out to put into practice your tips, just reading about things like the ‘kiss test’ and ‘cocky/funny‘ has been stored in my head and has really worked. I kissed 6 very attractive women in 2 days over the weekend, a level I used to achieve in maybe a year!! Your techniques are surprisingly fantastic!

My only problem is reeling the women in after kissing. and progressing to dating, getting laid etc. Im just not quite cocky and pushy enough I guess, and the girls seem to go off me, how can I keep their interest?

Thankfully, H.”

>MY COMMENTS: OK, let me just get this straight…

You haven’t downloaded my book yet, but by just reading my email tips you wound up kissing 6 “very attractive” women in 2 days over the weekend, and you want to know how you can keep their interest, huh?


If I was in your situation and having that kind of great success from these email tips, I would have downloaded it TWICE just to make sure I didn’t miss anything!

You’re asking a complex general question, and you need to read my book for the basics first. Get it…

[ebook download link]


“Hi Dave,

Just wanted to let you know that I used my own version of your personals ad on someone I liked online, and she just ate it up! She wrote back with her own sarcastic response which I really enjoyed (I like a woman who can dish it out as well as take it!), and sent me her phone number without my having to even ask for it!

I phoned her up, we made a date (which we had last night). I kept up the funny routine, mixed it with “deep” conversation, and by halfway through the evening, we were holding hands; she also accepted a good night kiss from me. We’re seeing each other again this weekend. She’s absolutely great, and we just “clicked” amazingly well. You’re a genius man, thanks a million!

Here’s a quick tip for a good cocky/funny role model: Check out UPN’s Sci-Fi series “Special Unit 2”, shown on Wednesdays. Watch the leading man, whose character is named Nick. This guy is a master of the cocky/funny routine, and you can pick up some great ideas from him. The writers of this show obviously “get it”.

Thanks again!


>MY COMMENTS: Great job. Isn’t it fun teasing women on the internet and via email? Love it.

As for the show you’re talking about, I don’t watch a lot of TV. Know where I can get video of the episodes? I’d love to see it.


Hello David!

Your book rocks! First here’s what’s working:

1) Acquiring emails has worked great. I’ve gotten two dates with college aged women and I’m 39. Not bad eh!

2) Love the suggestions on communicating body language»… i.e….taking up more space and leaning back. I had a friend who was an ex NYC cop and he played the role perfectly. He was a natural and he received a lot of positive attention from women by just showing up.

Question: I was dating this great woman and things were moving along quite well romantically. I was reading your book and not showing too much courting behavior, busting her stones, and not being too available. She does have a full plate right now…grad school, bought a new house, moved to this location x months ago, blah, blah ,blah.

She gave me the cold shoulder one night at a networking meeting. She called later and apologized and said things were moving too fast. I said great and gave her about four weeks of space. I called her and she said she was ready to do something again and her plate had emptied a little. She said she would call me the next day and of course did not? What gives? I’ve of course moved on based upon your jedi master advise, but I’m curious. Should there be a next step and what should it be if any?


>You must bust her balls to no end for this infraction. It is your only hope.

And you need to quit with this “she had a full plate” excuse, and any others you may have for her.

If a woman says she’s going to do something, then doesn’t do it, call her on her integrity. It’s time that you learned to accept only the best from women.


“Dear David,

Thank you very much for your greatest work.

Ever since I started using your techniques I have been fairly successful with the opposite sex. I am particularly fond of teasing women that they are trying to seduce me. By doing this I establish a fait accompli, which automatically transforms into reality. ‘Mist cleared’ I would say, and your book should properly be described as the classic.

I have a question: what sort of job/profession do women tend to prefer? I am an undergraduate student at a good university, and I don’t know which career I should choose after I am graduated. I want to take women’s preference into account along with numerous other factors. The alternatives I am considering at the moment are: lawyer, naval officer and airline pilot.

Your advice would be greatly appreciated.


>MY COMMENTS: You know, I thought that the email from the lesbian was interesting…

You want career advice? You want little old me to tell you what to do when you grow up… so that you can choose the profession that will attract the most women?

What’s the going rate for career counseling? I think I like this job.

Let’s see… lawyers are boring, naval officers are too dull, and airline pilots get to fly planes all over the world and hang out with women who are forced to meet height and weight restrictions and wear flight attendant outfits… hmmm. I don’t know.

I guess you’ll have to figure this one out for yourself.

And by the way, I’m really glad that you pointed out that teasing women about being interested in you is “establishing a fait accompli”.

“uhhh, hey Beavith, big wordth are rad.”


“Hi David,

You’re ideas are AMAZING. I tried your street pickup routine at the mall, the first few times I was nervous, but once I calmed down and got the hang of it I ended up picking up 4 women in a row within 2 hours! Now, I have the power and I do the choosing.

The Question: Someday, I would also like to reach the highest skill level with women. For this, one has to be original and creative. About your 3 minute email routine and the street pickup routine……How did you come up with them? Trial, error and analysis? In other words, how do I go about creating my own cocky+funny routines that are original and complement my style?

I highly recommend the book to your subscribers. Those rules like “Never give a women a …… answer”, are priceless!

You have truly made a difference in my life. Thank you.

Big Chief”

>MY COMMENTS: Thanks for your email. Making a difference is what it’s all about.

To answer your question, I figured out the 3-Minute email technique by sheer trial and error. I used to have this idea that if I could get women’s phone numbers that I would be “the man” and have no worries.

So I spend probably a year or so perfecting the art of getting numbers (only to realize that there was a lot more to it than just this).

In the process, I learned a lot. One of the most important lessons I learned was that WOMEN WILL GIVE YOU THEIR EMAIL AND/OR NUMBER WITHIN MINUTES OF MEETING YOU… if you know what you’re doing.

So the short answer is that I figured it out by figuring it out in the real world.



Let me start off by saying that you are the man. I bought your book a little over six months ago and I have been using the techniques with amazing success. Last week, I found out that your techniques work on any woman, anywhere, anytime.

I was on vacation with a group of people and the first night, we were all drinking at a bar. One of the women I had driven with to the vacation spot confessed to me that she was gay and had a girlfriend. This came as a complete shock to me, since she had been digging my cocky/funny routine the entire time we were together. Well, I continued to press the attack and did not give up. I told her that since she was gay, it didn’t matter if she kissed me. It worked! So, we started kissing and I used your stopping technique. Man, I really got her fired up. By the time we got back to the room, things were definitely going in the right direction. Needless to say, she now considers herself Bi-sexual.

The only problem was that we hooked up at the beginning of the week. For the entire rest of the week, things were weird. I want to know how to not let things get weird like that. I mean, is there some way that I could have kept things from getting weird? Its not like I want a relationship from her, I just want things not to be strained when I talk to her. She is one of the coolest people I have ever met.



>MY COMMENTS: This stuff is unreal.

First you use the techniques to turn a gay woman bi, then you ask me how to keep her from feeling and acting weird.

Um, helllooooooo?

Are you going to write me next week to ask how to convince her to not go through with the sex change?

Maybe I should write another book called “How to date gay women… for straight men (and how to keep them from being weird, getting the sex change, oh, and how to keep them bi).

I think you’re going to have to use your best judgement on this one. But thanks for the comedy.


“Hi D:

I am a female who loves reading your info on women/men situations. I have one that has stumped me. A male friend gave my number to a guy he works with. The guy has been divorced for about 3 yrs. X-wife still lives in the same town and they “get along”. He is 43, I am 39. We started off by him calling me and we talked for hours…he called me everyday for one whole wk., we emailed pictures of each other ahead of time and then asked me out. We went on a very nice date and I acted like a lady. No sexual advances on either part except a hug and kiss on the lips at the end of the date. “I” didn’t want to scare him off. The next wk. he called me every other day and we talked for hours. We hit it off pretty well. All seemed great. We had a lot in common. His friend said he was on “cloud 9” at work and was excited about meeting me and going out. He had not been out of a date in a “very long time”. All of a sudden he didn’t call and I had this feeling that something was not right. I emailed him, he emailed me back…he said, “I’m sorry, there’s just no spark, no feelings like I want them to be”. I’m sorry.” What happened? Do you think it was cold feet? X-wifey in the picture or what? Help. What should I do? Everything was great…I thought?


Sad and Lonely again!”

>MY COMMENTS: OK, I have to admit, I only included this one because I wanted to show that this stuff goes both ways. It’s all the same psychology!


You claim to be a reader of my newsletter, but are you paying any attention to what’s going on?

I mean, YOU’RE A WOMAN! You’re supposed to know this stuff!

First of all, QUIT MAKING YOURSELF SO AVAILABLE, Don’t talk more than twice a week… Three times at the most. None of this talking every day like a teenager! Sheeesh.



Let me just say that you are the man. My friend & I both started your book and advice around the same time.. We are kind of like wingmen to each other, talking to each other and giving each other input, and pushing one another go get stuff done with women. Well yesterday, my friend and I were sitting in a college lounge, just eating… We both notice this kinda cute chick with a Mac laptop.. one of the new IBooks. So he tells me “ok this is your chance.. go get her”. So I get up and I ask her “Hey is that the new Ibook?” She says “yea”. I then responded “Do they make that for guys too?” Naturally she cracked up and we started talking. Butter. Smooth. Got the email and went on my way.

Experience helps!!! Now I’m getting addicted!! I wanna do it more and more! Question though.. after reading your various emails & advice, when going up to any random girl, what would you do if she refuses to give you her email and/or phone number, or if she says “i have a boyfriend”? How would you respond? One technique i saw, “what you don’t have email?” or “you don’t have a phone? Cmon I’ll only call you 30 times a day” etc, but what else could be done?


>MY COMMENTS: I love your Mac comment. Verrrrry nice.

To answer your boyfriend question, I personally say “Great, take care.”

I get this same question many times a week, and my answer is always the same… just say “next”.

There are soooo many women out there. Why waste time trying to be a home-wrecker when you could be out meeting nice women who don’t potentially have a psycho boyfriend who wants to kill you and her both?

It just doesn’t make good sense to me. Say “next”.


“Hi David…

I’ve read your book and your newsletter. I’m a fan.

Anyway, my success story and a question.

As I work on the net I use ICQ sometimes to chat to women. After reading your book I realised that I had an almost 100% “success” rate pattern with these women that I chat to on ICQ. It was your humorous, cocky, slightly arrogant pattern.

Basically, because these women are in another country, and I’m not going to meet them by next Tuesday I don’t give a damn… and I just tease them in an Aussie way. They LOVE it. You’re right.

Now, my question. How do I translate this success into an OFFline world? I’m a 50 year old guy who prefers women in their early to mid thirties, and I’d like to advertise in some of the dating type sections in newspapers. What approach would one use here?



>MY COMMENTS: If I were you, I’d try a direct, cocky and funny ad that said something like:

“Are You Up For A Challenge? I’m 50, looking for a Brat of about 30-35 who’s ready to meet her match. Be very attractive, because I’m very intelligent…” etc.

See how that works for you.

…and let me guess… about 1,000 personal ads are going to run all over the world this week with those exact words. How special.

By the way, if you’ve been reading these emails and you’d like to get a better perspective on what I’m talking about, then you need to download a copy of my online eBook, “Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be More Successful With women And Dating”. It’s the foundation for all of the comments that you read in these newsletters, and it will help you meet more women and get more dates! Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…to download your copy now.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you want to send me a Success Story or a question, email me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

Here’s how to increase your chances of being included in a mailbag:

1) Keep it short. One or two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what’s working for you first. Give before you ask for something.
3) Write “Success Story” in the subject if you have one. I read those first!

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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