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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: What If She Asks: ‘Are You A Player?'” – March 22, 2002

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“Q&A: What If She Asks: ‘Are You A Player?’” – March 22, 2002


[Note: Usually my featured questions are longer, as I take the opportunity to print longer story/questions here. But this week I decided to use the following question because I haven’t talked much about this topic, and it’s a common situation for guys who become good with the techniques that I teach. So here it is…]

“Sometimes women say things like, “You must be dating a lot” or “Are you a player?”

What are some cocky/funny responses to this?



First, let me talk about what’s going on here.

If a woman asks you a question like:

“Are you a player?” or…

“Do you date a lot of women?”


Are you with me?

If you’ve read my book “Double Your Dating” and/or you’ve been tuned into these newsletters, then you’re familiar with some of my basic principles like:

Be cocky and funny, tease women, play hard to get, don’t be predictable, etc.

If you do these things when you’re with a woman, she’s likely to see you DIFFERENTLY than she sees most men. You’ll stand out as being a guy who “gets it.” In other words, she’s likely to feel an ATTRACTION to you and, in addition, logically guess that OTHER WOMEN are probably attracted to you as well.

A lot of guys REALLY screw this “moment of truth” up.

When women ask “Do you date a lot of women?” some common responses are:

“Well, what’s ‘a lot’ to you?”

“Ummm…[uncomfortable pause]…no, not really.”

“…[surprised look]…Why do you ask?”

I know, I know. You’d NEVER say anything dumb like this, would you? Me neither.

But just in case, let me tell you how to handle this question and others like it.

The original question was “What are some cocky/funny responses to this?”

And that’s EXACTLY what to do… be cocky and funny.

It really doesn’t matter whether you do or whether you don’t date a lot of women. All that’s important is that you answer the question in a way that MAKES HER FEEL MORE ATTRACTED TO YOU.

You probably know that my favorite kinds of answers are INDIRECT answers. Indirect answers can be funny and evasive, and they’re usually frustrating to her, but they can also work like a charm.

So here are a few for you to use:

Her: “Do you date a lot of women?”

You: “Only one… [three second pause]… my mom.”

“Well, let’s see… there’s you… and my mom… Is that a lot?”

“I guess that’s going to depend on YOU, isn’t it?”

You’ll usually get a laugh, and maybe she’ll hit you… (which of course means she REALLY likes you).

And she’ll often say “No, really.”

To which you should answer: “No, really. Do you find it strange that I date my own mother? Just think of it as progressive thinking.”

If you keep making jokes that are cocky and FUNNY enough, she’ll give up. Frustrated, yes… but she’ll give up.



I’m going to get about 100 emails from women this week saying “I hate it that you’re telling men these things… this isn’t fair.”

So be it.

I’ll put a few in the next mailbag…

I hope you’re tracking with me here.

If you admit that you’re a loser and you don’t date any women, she’s going to assume that something must be wrong with you (otherwise you’d at least be dating someone).

If you admit that you’re dating a lot of women, she’s going to assume that you’re a player and a big red “WARNING – PLAYER” sign will appear on your forehead every time she looks at you from that moment forward.

On the other hand, if you respond in a cool, calm, serious, cocky, funny way with a great comeback, then continue to be funny and evasive, it will create a wonderful and magical tension in the air that will lead to good things.

This stuff doesn’t seem fair, does it? lol… well, use it wisely.

Oh, and if you haven’t downloaded your copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating” yet, you need to do that immediately. You’ll learn DOZENS AND DOZENS of ideas, techniques, and psychological strategies to help you be more successful with women and dating. Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…now to download your copy now.

I’ll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you haven’t checked the new audio clip of me talking about Double Your Dating» on my website, make sure you listen to it next time you visit. Just go to the address above and you’ll find it.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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