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“Q&A: How Do I Get Her To Come Home With Me?” – June 20, 2002

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“Q&A: How Do I Get Her To Come Home With Me?” – June 20, 2002


Again, you’re da man! I’ve found a new bar and grill here in Miami where all of these HOT college girls hang out at. I’ve been using you’re C & F approach to get the conversation going with these hot chicks and 9 times out of 10 they fall for it every time. After about 5 minutes into the conversation, they get this look on their face like “I can’t believe I’ve been actually talking to this guy this long”. I mean… look at me, I’m not buffed out or have killer abs, just your average Joe. But then it gets better, with most of these girls the conversation gets so funny and cute and so comfortable that I take it to the next level “The Kissing Test”. That’s right! I’m sometimes kissing on the lips (sometimes with my tongue down their throats) HOT CHICKS in public! (I used to watch other guys do this and be envious of them, I used to be a playa-hater) And sometimes it happens twice or even three times with 2 or three different girls. This especially happens when I’m freak dancing and teasing some hot chic. I’m just waiting to take some of these girls home from this new bar that I’ve been hanging out at.

I have just 2 questions for ya…

1) I seem to be more successful after a nice haircut and trimmed mustache and goa-tee and putting on a nice shirt for clubbing. I know women look at physical after personality but let me ask you aren’t looks or appearance still important to enhance the C & F?

2) Once the conversation is comfortable enough to where we are actually 2 strangers kissing in public (one HOT CHICK and one Average Joe) what can I say to get her to go home with me?




You’re a very, very bad man.

Kissing women you’ve just met on the lips?

In public?

You gotta love that.

And you’re not rich or handsome? I don’t believe it!

Of course, I’ve seen things like this happen so many times that I actually DO believe it. In fact, most guys would be very surprised if they realized just how open many women are to kissing and “getting physical” when they meet the right guy.

On to your questions…


As far as I’m concerned, LOOKS MATTER.

But interestingly enough, they matter for a different reason than most guys think.

You see, women are always reading into things. They’re trying to figure out what things MEAN.

If a woman asks you if you have a close relationship with your mom, she’s not making casual conversation… she wants to get deeper insight into how you handle relationships. Are you with me?

My personal perspective is that IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’VE GOT, IT’S HOW YOU USE IT. In other words, it’s more important to take care of yourself than it is to be naturally tall, handsome, etc.

If you want to take your success with women up a notch or two, I definitely think that it’s a good idea to pay attention to the personal presentation.

You don’t have to go overboard and get plastic surgery, liposuction, and hair implants, but a little attention to detail can go a looooong way.

Think about it…

Generally, a stylish haircut doesn’t cost any more than an outdated haircut… but they say two completely different things about you.

Clothes that fit correctly and flatter your particular body type don’t cost more…

Confident, dominant posture and slow, unhurried movements don’t require any more energy…

But all of these things, especially when combined and used with other simple ideas can make a HUGE difference.

So to answer your question: Yes, looks can make a difference to your success. If you have such a strong and attractive personality that you attract women no matter what, then you can look however you want. But if you’re a regular guy like me, then do everything you can. I mean, hey… it really doesn’t cost anything to look your best! And women definitely notice.


My focus isn’t on “getting laid” alone, but I have a few ideas that can help you.

A good friend once told me that a woman won’t really want to come DIRECTLY home with you. Women like to feel like they’ve “been out” with you first.

So, to answer this concern, he goes out with women on “mini dates” as soon as he meets them.

So, for instance, he might meet a woman at a bar or a nightclub. Maybe they’ve had a few drinks together and danced a few times… and things are going well.

He might suggest that they go to ANOTHER bar that’s close by…

When they leave TOGETHER and arrive at the other bar TOGETHER they are now “TOGETHER”. It creates a completely different psychological setting and comfort level.

When they first met, they were just two people that happened to be at the same bar. When they got to the next bar, they were kind of “out on a date”.

To a woman, this is a HUGE difference.

Then, after spending some time at the next bar (it’s late by this point), he’ll ask her for a ride home, or maybe suggest that she come over for a drink.

Because they’ve now “been out together” she tends to feel a lot more comfortable coming over.

I usually recommend that guys approach women, get their email and number, and move on. You can get 5 or 10 emails and numbers in an evening, and then have dates during the week (where you don’t have to deal with distractions, competition, etc.).

But if you’re at the point where you’re confident in your skills, and this is what you want, then try the technique I just explained. I know more than one guy that uses it, and it seems to be a big winner.

And, if you’re NOT at the point where you are confident in your skills, then you need to get my online eBook “Double Your Dating“, and read every single page. It will teach you all the secrets your mom and dad never told you about… and show you how to have success with women that you only dreamed possible.

In my book I talk more about how to improve your appearance, how to dress, and even what types of colognes to wear…

Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…now to download it. If you’re on AOL, you’ll have to copy and paste that address in your internet browser.

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. If you haven’t been to my website, then you need to go and read some of the other tips that I offer there! Just go to [newsletter sign-up link] and look towards the end.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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