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“Q&A: Great Techniques For Meeting Women” – July 2, 2002

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“Q&A: Great Techniques For Meeting Women” – July 2, 2002


Dear David

First of all, although you’ve probably heard it a million times – thanks for your work. It’s really great stuff. I have a question for you: Why is it that women like dancing in night clubs, and many men don’t? Is it important that a guy should be able to dance even if lets say I don’t like dancing. How can one practice C+F attitude (which I love and I know works) if everyone has had a lot to drink and it’s so damn noisy & crowded & it’s impossible to have a conversation with a woman? Also is it true that if you are able to dance well, that women will be attracted to you?

I myself hate dancing, but every attractive woman I have dated loved dancing, some of them I think even dancing provocatively to make me jealous. The strange thing is that I have also noticed my mates that can dance don’t particularly get anymore success with women in night clubs than I do. My female friends tell me that I must learn to dance, but for what as I don’t enjoy it and my mate’s that do don’t get lucky.

So please can you explain what it is about dancing that women like, and is it worth becoming a good and confident dancer in order to get more dates with women and succeed once on those dates.

Thanks in advance.


A British fan


OK, sounds like you have two different issues that you’re dealing with:

1) To dance or not to dance.

2) The noise and crowds of nightclubs.

Interestingly, my perspective is that the answer to both questions is basically the same…

There are some guys that like to go out to nightclubs to pick up women to take home THAT NIGHT.

Now, most of the guys I know who go out with this objective don’t actually wind up “bringing home babes” as often as they’d like. In other words, unless this your sole objective, and you’re an ABSOLUTE PRO, then you might start thinking about this situation differently.

When I go out to a club with the idea of meeting women, my main objective to get emails and phone numbers. That’s it.

You can start a quick interchange with a woman, get her email and number, and be done with the whole thing in about 3 or 5 minutes. You can do this all night and wind up with information from 5 or more women each night you go out.

The interesting thing is that you don’t actually have to even use Cocky and Funny very much if this is your plan. You can save it for get-togethers over tea, or phone conversations.

Of course, if you can use your Cocky and Funny attitude, all the better. But if you’re dealing with noise and crowds, where you may not even be heard, just get the info!

And as for dancing, if you’re getting her info in the first few minutes, then you won’t have to dance, buy her a drink, or get into a long conversation that you can’t understand. Getting emails and numbers quickly is usually the best way to go in these situations.


Hey Dave, I was just curious, i’m an average man who tells jokes like crazy to girls, I make tons of people laugh and friends with everyone. I can talk to a girl in a second but some are harder then others, How do you get real secrets out of them, and know what some deep things are about em. So I am asking when I go up and make fun of them teasing and being cocky, what are some more things I should say to get the conversation rolling and want them to talk to me even more. If I get a conversation its easy to tell a little joke here and what are some easy ways to just to get an very high interesting topic to talk to them about?

Thanks……… D


First of all, why do you want to know “deep” things about a girl you’ve just met? And why do you want to get “real secrets” about her?

Read my last comments above… just get the info!

You can follow up later, and if you want to know “secrets” and “deep things”, you can work on that later.

By the way, secrets and deep things are best not discussed early on, unless you’re trying to get into a relationship in 5 minutes.


I just wanted to let you know you information is the best material I ever decided to invest in. I know you told people that you have tried everything and these techniques work best, so let me make a comment to any of the skeptics out there. I have personally invested money in material which discussed being touchy feely and complementing women as many times as you can on a first date while making lots of cheesy smiles to show attraction. I’ve also purchased book & tape packages which told me to touch women in various places while in clubs talking to them, to get them aroused (I am surprised I didn’t get a drink thrown in my face!), I memorized paragraphs (literally) of things to say when out with women(once a women told me I seemed false) and NONE of these get the reaction I get from using the material in your book. Oddly enough….the only reason I didn’t want to get the double your dating» material in the beginning is because it wasn’t as expensive as the other BS material I wasted so much money on, so I figured it can’t be as good. I am in grad school right now and I realized after reading your newsletters(which had questions from the rich to average) that making good money was not going to give me success with women, and besides I don’t want anyone putting me in the long-term lover withhold sex category explained in your book anyway.

Since I have been using your techniques I have been seeing a women that is very attractive and used to date a pro athlete. She just told me recently (without me asking of course) that the reason she felt so attracted to me was my care free, take no crap off her attitude I developed from your book. She tried to throw a tantrum when we were leaving a club wanting me to chase her, so I laughed and told her “when you think you can control your alcohol maybe you can regain your privileges of talking to me again!” then I walked off grinning (love it!). She explained to me later that she was putting me through a series of test and I was doing things that other guys just didn’t do (by the way….she called ME first thing the next morning to apologize.) She told me the others just kiss her ass and try to make her happy. Now I just reread your book so I remember not to become one of them.

This brings me to my question. I know you don’t specialize in the long term stuff but I would like your opinion. Her birthday is coming up and I wanted to know what would be something special I can do without over doing it. Fathers day just passed (I have a daughter not from her)and she got me a designer shirt, so I don’t want to do anything lame either. Can you help me.



Wow, great job.

It’s not often that an attractive woman will actually TELL you explicitly that she’s testing you. You have a gal there that is unusually open.

I included your email because it’s a great example of how women test men. Most guys FAIL MISERABLY when tested, and they lose the girl in the process. It’s sad, but true.

When a woman tests a man, it’s like a blind psychological experiment. She’s doing the testing, but she knows that she can’t TELL you what’s going on, because then you’ll know it’s a test and not respond authentically.

How else could she find out the TRUE nature of your character? How else could she find out if you’re actually a strong-willed man with inner power, or just another actor playing pretend in order to conceal the INNER WUSS?

Think about it.

As for the gift idea…

Women typically love SURPRISES and THOUGHTFUL expressions of your feelings. As you know, I don’t like to comment on the relationship stages, but if you want to make her see you as different from other guys, plan a few thoughtful surprises for her. Think about experiences that she’s always wanted to have, or things she really likes, then combine together to create a time she won’t forget.

It doesn’t take money to do this, and it’s actually better if you DON’T spend a lot.

Remember, what I’m talking about here is to be used when you know a woman and have been dating her for at least a little while. This is the kind of thing that has the word “relationship” all over it, and you don’t want to do things like this too soon, or you run the risk of coming across the wrong way.

[As a side note: I want to re-affirm that even though I choose not to comment on the “relationship” stage very often, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like relationships or have a problem with the idea. I think that a great relationship with a great woman can be one of the best experiences in life… But I also think that to attract a really amazing woman you need to know what you’re doing. And that’s what I focus on: How to be more successful with women and DATING – not women and RELATIONSHIPS.]


Well I got a question here. I have a great resource to meet women, but I am unsure on how to go about milking it.

I work at a children’s museum. Occasionally a group of some kind would come in, kids camp, YMCA, etc. Well usually with these groups there are quite a few women my age. They are usually supervising the children they bring in.

Last time a group came in some women made a point to kino. Some would brush against me when they walked passed me even when there was a lot of room on either side of me. Or if I was in the way they would touch my back rather than say something. This happens more than often to be a coincidence.

I have no idea how I should milk this resource. I am friggin stumped.


Well, if I were you, I think I’d sit down and make a list of all the kinds of conversations that you could possibly get into with these women, then create Cocky and Funny lines for each. Finally, come up with some great ways to get emails and numbers.

You might say:

“Where did you find time to have all these children?”

…or some other line hinting that these are her own children.

Then, after a little banter, say:

“You know, I don’t usually date women that already have 27 kids, but give me your email, and maybe we can talk about it.”

You have all kinds of great options. Just think of some great things to say!



I was in a VERY noisy club the other night in Cabo San Lucas (I’m on vacation) and spotted this babe dancing alone away from the crowd. I approached her with your, “Hi! I noticed you over here and thought I’d take a sec to find out what you might be like… are you friendly?” with a cocky sort of smile. She warmed up instantly and conversation flowed into an eventual makeout session there in the club. It was the first of three successes I’ve had in one week… more than I typically had in 6 months before reading your book… so Muchos Gracias!

However, I want to get REALLY good at the Cocky & Funny (C&F) thing and hone that skill so I come across that way in ALL of my interactions with women (not just when I happen to be “on”). Can you recommend some drills/exercises or some kind of action plan to RAPIDLY hone this skill in the next couple months? How did you develop it?




The book that I always recommend is called “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Helitzer. It’s such a great book, and it has a bunch of great exercises inside to help you increase your humor skills. As you’re working on it, just think COCKY and Funny.

I personally developed a lot of my Cocky and Funny skills by chatting online over instant messenger services with women. When you use one of these IM programs, it gives you a chance to think of great things to say, because the conversation is about 1/5th the speed of normal conversation. It’s great practice, and you can write down different lines to try, then get online and use them… with real women, even!

Great job, and keep it up.



I’ll try to keep this short. First of all, your book is great. Great tips, great guidelines. Second, as a proof of success, a few nights ago I went out with some friends, and tried something new, based on your guidelines. I saw this hot girl at the bar, asking for a drink. And instead of complimenting her on her great physical looks, I said hi to her and told her I liked how her unusual belt looked on her. That’s it. And then turned around and walked away. I didn’t even let her talk. Ten seconds later she comes to where I was with a friend and said to me “the good thing is that it keeps my pants in their place”, and everything worked from there. We began to talk, etc. I would have never done that before. I gave it a try, and the outcome was good. That same night I stayed away from the usual “you are pretty, blah, blah” and focused on other things, trying to start a conversation in a C&F way, and it works better than the usual stuff. I met about 4 girls that night. Got the hot girl’s email address.

I also wanted to ask you for advice on something. After that night’s success, last night I went out to a dance club and this is the scenario. Crowded place, loud music, pretty girl seated in a table with other friends (guys and girls). Can’t quite assure if good eye contact is being made because of the club lights. Let’s assume there is. I did notice she looked at me about 3 times. She never leaves the table, she is seated between her friends (hard to approach her). I didn’t know what to do in order to have her leave the table to try some talking. This is a major problem. You can’t just go there and approach her in front of all her friends (can I?) I had to do something! I waited over an hour to see if she moved, but she didn’t. So I decided to write a message on a napkin and have the waiter give it to her. I thought this at least would define is she was interested or not, and then move on to other target if she wasn’t. I wrote something like this: “Since I haven’t been able to run into you apart from your table, I decided to send you this note…” and then complimented her on a prop she had, etc, (C&F) I thought that if she was interested she then would move to the bar, or somewhere else where we could meet and talk. A few minutes before I was going to send her the note, she and one of her girlfriends stepped away from the table. While I was watching where she was going to stop (I try not to hit on a girl while she is moving), I realized she was leaving the place. I thought she might come back because she didn’t say goodbye to her other friends. She never came back. She left with a girl, but she isn’t lesbian or bi either (I know who she is). So at the end of the night (2 hours later) I approached one of her girlfriends and asked her to give the note to the girl (I wrote down my email). I told her I was going to talk to her and give her the note personally, but she had left and I couldn’t do it. Her friend asked me “so this message is from who?”, I said “the guy with the black shirt, necklace with a shark tooth, from the table next to yours”. I don’t even know if she will remember, or if she noticed because of the “unconfirmed” eye contact. I need feedback on this, man. How do you approach a girl in a scenario like this? What would you have done? I think what I did is wrong, giving the note to her friend, but what the hell. We all have to make mistakes to improve on this, right? Thanks!! Keep up the good work. Waiting for Episode II of Double your Dating».

R.M. from Miami


First of all, I admire the hell out of you, because you did SOMETHING instead of NOTHING. Nice.

Now, as for what to do in a situation like that one…

I have a friend that does something interesting. He’ll call the waiter over, and say “Can you deliver this napkin to that girl over there? But don’t tell her who it’s from.” Then, he’ll draw a tic tac toe game, and put an X in one of the squares. (Always tip the waiter a dollar!)

The napkin almost always comes back, and the game is on…

It’s fun, mysterious, and the girl always wants to know who’s playing with her.

I’ve used this before, and it’s great fun.

At some point, depending on whether you’re winning or losing, you can come over to her table and say something like “Well, I had to meet my worthy opponent” or “I hope you talk better than you play” etc.

Also, if a woman gets up and is about to leave, that’s a GREAT time to go get her info!!!

Just walk up and say “Hi, I was going to come talk to you earlier but I got busy… what’s your name? Do you have email?” Easy. And it’s so natural to ask, since she’s obviously on her way out…


hey david.

In your last news letter u talked about reverse psychology. A couple of days ago (before i got this email on reverse psychology) i was talking to a friend of mine online (a girl) and ive liked her for a while. (shes somewhat of a player and shes REALLY HOT!!!) when i was talkin to her we got into a conversation about sex. as we were talkin i told her that i didnt want to do it w/ her (but i did) and she said y not, and i said because. she kept on asking me why not, and i just said because. so she gave up and quit asking me. so then we went on w/ our conversation, and a little while later just right out of the blue she said we’ll probably have sex some time in the future. i said “ha maybe”, and left it at that. we havent done it yet but we do talk about it (just havent found the time yet) but i plan on doin it soon. so my point is, the reverse psychology thing really works. and to all u guys who think david dosnt know what hes talkin about, your wrong he know exactly what hes talkin about. buy his book!!!

J from IN


One of the most amazing things you can do when a woman brings up the topic of sex is to tease her about it, ask her why she’s bringing it up, and accuse her of having a dirty mind, etc. It’s great!

You must realize that this is one of the very best ways to tease an attractive woman. They usually love it.

Attractive women often bring up the topic of sex to see if you’re comfortable… or to test you to find out if you’ll get nervous or insecure.

The best thing to do in these situations is accuse her of trying to get sexual too fast, tell her you’re not interested, and bust on her. It’s all kinds of good fun. And the added benefit is that it makes her more and more curious about you and why you don’t seem like all the other losers who roll over and act stupid.



Oh my God, I’m gushing…Dave you da man. I showed up at one of the local bars tonight armed with your info and voila, I wasn’t really trying and still got the phone numbers of two of the hottest babes, including a girl I’ve been eyeing for about a year. MAYBE I’ll call her, then again, there’s so many women and so little time. 😉





Cool. I think.

What else can I say? Nice.



Thanks for all of the advice. I recently went to Australia and constantly used your advice. Even on the plane ride over. I was blessed to be sitting next to a hottie on a 14 hour flight across the Pacific. We started talking and hitting it off. Lots of chemistry. She pulls out her scrapbook and I tease her about everything. I come across some pictures and she keeps looking hotter and hotter and I keep teasing her about her looks, saying that she must not travel well, becuase that cannot be her. Then I come across her in a lepoard bikini. Im thinking, THANK YOU GOD. On the other page she has word association games and her comment is P- Bootylicious. So I look at her ass and say, ” Im not so sure about that… youll have to prove something like that.” So she turns her back to me and pulls her pants out and says “NO look. ” My response was, ” well, I just dont know if I have a good angle to make that kind of judgement. ” You know coach seats and all. So the flight just progress from there. It was like a 10 hour lap dance. I got her email… of course and home cell. We actually emailed all over Austrailia except I was going one way and she was going the other. We actually almost met in one city… She lives about three hours away from me and will be coming home in about two weeks. Dave… I need a magic line to get her to come up and visit me when she gets back! I’ve been C/F in all of the emails and she has responded for the last month, but any suggestions for a winner proposal.


San Francisco


What are you talking about?!

You need a magic line when you had this hot girl doing lap dances on a commercial flight for you?

OK, OK, why don’t you tell her that you have a BIG surprise for her, and she needs to come up your way so you can show it to her.

Then show her the Golden Gate…

…or something.

I and every other man who’s been on a long flight seated between two overweight women with bad breath hate you.



I was first a bit reluctant to use your cocky+funny attitude to attract girls…guys this is perfectly normal but GET OVER IT!!! THEY LOVE IT!!! And, I’m becoming more and more aware of it every time I try it.

Now, I had to travel across town today for a summer school class and while waiting at one of our many long stoplights, a cute blonde pulled up next to me. As usual, I checked her out and noticed that she had 5 or 6 pairs of yellow, green, purple, and pink sunglasses hanging from her mirror. I yelled at her, “Hey, I like your glasses!!”. “Thanks”, she said, “I really…”. I then cut her off in mid-sentence and said, “Yeah, I think my bratty 6-year old sister has a pair just like those!” Using Dave’s Cocky+Funny attitude DID catch her off-guard but she laughed a good bit. After a bit of small talk, I asked her for her number and out to lunch. Now, I have a date next week! THANKS DAVE!!!


D.F. in Indiana


Oh, nice save!

You are truly starting to get it. Cocky and Funny. Cocky and Funny. Cocky and Funny.

Repeat after me…


Hey Dave,

First off, I bought your book (read it twice) and think that there are some excellent tips/ideas included for meeting and seducing women. I feel that it was well worth the investment, particularly being that it is matter-of-fact and right-to-the-point, making it very easy to assimilate the information.

Now, on to my success story. The reason I’m writing this is to show guys how a little bit of confidence can do wonders in any situation. This happened in my fraternity, before a party. I was with a few brothers, drinking a few beers and just hanging out. Low and behold, in walked this beautiful specimen who was a “friend from home” of one of my bros. I was sitting on the floor, she was standing up. Normally, I’d putter around in my attempts to pick up a babe that was that incredible. On this fateful day, though, I was in the Zone! I immediately made eye contact with her, smiled, held the eye contact a ‘little too long’ and winked at her. The effect that this 7-second process had on her was astounding. She blushed a little, smiled and gave me this (I’ll never forget) “take me now” look. I stood up and said “Guy’s were going to go for a walk.” I took her hand and led her out of the room, into the hallway, and down four doors to my room. The rest of the night, we had sex twice, danced later that night at the house party, and just kinda hung out together after that. If I would of done my normal procrastination process before attempting to pick up this babe, there is no way things would of unfolded like they did. A recap of what happened: I saw an incredible-looking woman, made my interest known immediately, acted on my signals within the first minute of the encounter, showed total confidence in my approach, and proceeded to move and interact with her as if the forthcoming night’s encounter was meant to be.

Best of Life,


Pittsburgh, Pa


You are the man. Since most guys probably missed the KEY part of your story, I’ll recap and explain.

Most men hesitate when they see a woman that they’re attracted to. This is mistake number 1.

Next, most guys don’t like the idea of letting a woman know that they’re INTERESTED in a woman romantically. So they try to come up with nice, friendly, wussish things to say so they don’t come across like they’re attracted. This is mistake number 2.

Now, of course you don’t want to jump on a woman or approach her in a menacing way, and of course you don’t want to act like you’re so attracted to her that you’d lay down in traffic for a date with her…

But what you did was neither.

When a man realizes the things you’ve realized, and then takes action like this, it has an INSTANT AND POWERFUL effect on a woman. It triggers her ATTRACTION mechanism DIRECTLY… no talk, no lines, no BS.

The problem, of course, is that most guys have no idea how this dynamic works, and therefore never take the specific correct actions that lead to this kind of awesome success.

Thanks for the email.

…those were some great examples of how to do things right. This week I’ve been getting an unbelievable amount of email from guys who have read my book “Double Your Dating” who have written to tell me their awesome success stories. I wish I could include all of them, but I literally get hundreds of emails a week, and there is just no way that I can include them all. If you’ve been reading these newsletters, and you’d like to get ALL of my very best thinking on how to be more successful at attracting women, then I’d recommend that you download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“. It’s packed with all of the secrets it’s taken me years to learn and discover. Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…now and get your copy. You’ll be reading it in just a few minutes from right now, thanks to the power of the internet.

Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

***If you’d like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines***

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well your stuff works” comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because this helps other guys to see what’s working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you’re from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

…don’t just hit “reply” to this email. Thanks!

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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