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“Q&A: Secrets Mom Never Taught You” – July 13, 2002

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“Q&A: Secrets Mom Never Taught You” – July 13, 2002



Why is it that a woman who is only interested in the funny, cocky and challenging (i.e., interesting) men, later in life tries to raise sons that are sweet, thoughtful and “nice”? (i.e., run of the mill)!!

New York


This is a VERY interesting question, and I’m glad you emailed to ask it.

I’m going to give you my personal take on this, but more importantly I’m going to talk about how these kinds of paradoxes exist right in plain sight all around us… and how to interpret them so you can increase your own personal success with women and dating.

So to answer your question first…

I’ve spent a lot of time researching this topic, and doing a lot of personal testing to see if I could find some answers.

Right now, today, on July 13th of 2002 I think that it goes like this:

“Being Nice” in the way that you’re describing, which I’m going to say encompasses things like giving compliments, buying gifts, providing food, doing favors, tolerating emotional manipulation, pretending to be in a good mood even if you’re not, etc. is mostly a SOCIALLY/ CULTURALLY CONSTRUCTED set of rules.

In addition, these are typically very FEMININE things to do…

So what’s a mom in today’s culture to teach her son?

Of course… how to be “nice” to girls.

The bottom line is that most of the people walking around on this planet have NO IDEA how ATTRACTION works, and therefore will never be able to TEACH another person how this fabulous process works.

This includes mothers. Mom loved you and wanted the best for you, she just had no idea how to explain what makes women feel ATTRACTION. Mom may have gotten the tingles when she saw Clint Eastwood shooting everyone and Neil Diamond running around with his sneer, hairy chest that sock in his jeans… (and that reminds me… EWWWwww… your mom is gross, dude)…

But this doesn’t mean that she can or would explain to her boy how to make this happen with other women!

Now let’s talk about what we can actually LEARN from this kind of phenomenon.


I’ve read some fascinating books about the concept of “self-deception”, and I’ve come to realize that we humans have an amazing capacity for not seeing what’s there… to the point where it can be very bad for us.

This mechanism is, of course, a survival mechanism that helps us to weed out all of the useless information that’s coming in through our senses at any given time, but it can go overboard, and prevent us from seeing USEFUL information as well.

Even worse, a lot of our cultural and social programming is off-base to some degree, which causes us to see things and interpret them incorrectly when we do see them.

Finally, humans don’t like to change their beliefs about things. They don’t like to admit that they might be wrong in the first place, and they feel unstable or insecure when they realize that a fundamental truth they have held all their life is incorrect.

Lump all of this together, and you have moms who teach their sons the “proper” way to act and men who have NO IDEA how to be successful with women.

Wow, I’m really going on an unusually intellectual rant today! Nice. I feel pretty smart… I think I’ll keep it up…

So what’s this information good for?

Well, to start off, I think that it’s important in life to continually question your beliefs about how things work and what is possible.

I think it’s also good to constantly question your limiting beliefs.

Unfortunately, most people do the opposite… they question their ability to succeed and they doubt their own greatness. Most people constantly self-sabotage.

If instead you question your LIMITATIONS and your LIMITING BELIEFS, and you constantly look with your own eyes to see if there’s something going on that nobody mentioned to you, then you’ll begin to see things that will blow your mind.

It took me about 4 or 5 years to realize that ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE. But as soon as I say it, you can immediately get what I’m talking about, and maybe even have a profound realization that will lead to success.

Now, I didn’t figure that out by having someone TELL it to me. I figured it out by questioning the things I was hearing, and by following my own intuition that there was a solution to this puzzle called “women and dating”.

So here’s an assignment for you:

1) Write down all of the things that SHOULD work when it comes to making women feel attracted to you. This might include buying gifts and food, giving constant compliments, and acting “nice”.

2) Write down your own personal experience of what ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you do these “socially correct things that mom taught you” with women.

3) Pretend for a moment that everything you’ve been taught about women is wrong. Further, pretend that women are actually wired in REVERSE. If this were true, what kinds of things would result in a woman feeling ATTRACTION for a man?

Does this open up some new possibilities for you?

I invite you to question “common sense” and “what your mother taught you” about women.

I further invite you to come learn some of the VERY ILLOGICAL, YET INCREDIBLY POWERFUL techniques that I’ve learned, developed, refined, and described in my eBook “Double Your Dating“. I’ve spent YEARS thinking about this, working on it, and really getting to the bottom of what makes women feel that magical feeling called ATTRACTION.

Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…now to download it. In my book I also explain in detail how to overcome negative programming, how to improve your self image, and the exact steps to go from where you are to where you want to be with women.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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