The Top Pickup Artist Forum On The Internet: Fast Seduction 101

David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: Right After You Get Her Number” – August 3, 2002

<< full article list

Double Your Dating eBook
If you find David DeAngelo’s writing useful in your life, buy a copy of his eBook,Double Your Dating.  There is a Review of David’s eBook available on this web site, and you will also get access to David’s full product offerings when subscribing to his mailing list.

“Q&A: Right After You Get Her Number” – August 3, 2002

And as a quick note, I have to say that I love the emails that I get that say things like “Please don’t print this in your newsletter… but send me a detailed answer as soon as you can” and “I’m upset because you didn’t email me back with free advice”. lol… I have hundreds of emails in my inbox from just the last couple of weeks. So if you’re upset that you’re not getting a reply, please get over it. And don’t expect to hear back from me if you say things like “Please don’t print this in your newsletter”, because my newsletter is the vehicle I use to respond to questions. Duh. You can’t even give away free advice these days without someone whining…



The Guy in the bar Story…

“Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got the waitress’ phone number?”

This is “Ultra Extra Important” you said. I think I know why he should have left, he was probably starring at her all night and she was turned off by it, but give me your complete insight on why he should have left immediately after getting her e-mail.

Thanks, R.


As I said in the newsletter you quoted above, this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this point is part of understanding the dynamic called ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let’s talk about the underlying process that creates ATTTRACTION…

1. ATTRACTION isn’t a choice. It’s an emotional reaction.

ATTRACTION is natures way of taking over our minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we mate with someone with the best possible genes.

2. ATTRACTION isn’t logical, in the sense that it isn’t created by things that “should” create it. Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when you first meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get their approval are examples of “logical” thing that SHOULD create attraction… but don’t.

When you understand how attraction works, you begin to see that it has a logic all its own.

3. Women aren’t attracted to guys who act like needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to go out of their way to be overly “nice”, it usually backfires. Women run from wussy men.

4. Unfortunately, many guys are mentally programmed to a sort of “default wussy” mode of behavior when they encounter a woman that they’re attracted to.

When you combine this default wuss mode with nervous body language», you create an almost impossible barrier between you and success.

5. Just like a painting or a song, too much can ruin an interaction with a woman. You must know when to leave. Leaving at the right moment creates tension, anticipation and mystery.

Of course, there are more ingredients to ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where I’m going with this…

In every situation, you can do something to INCREASE the ATTRACTION… and you can do something to DECREASE it. In other words, there’s always a way to dial up this magical emotion.

And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even when you’ve just met. In fact, this is often the best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question…

What would most guys do in the situation with the waitress (or maybe a bar tender)?

Imagine it.

You’re in a bar, you’re chatting with the cute gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You’re being Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she’s enjoying your company. You say “Hey, do you have email?” and she writes it down for you…


You could…

1. Sit there and keep talking.

2. Stay and talk to her a few more times.

3. Wait around hoping that you can go home with her.

4. Leave.

So let’s do a little critical thinking about this situation before I comment (or maybe this will be the comment, we’ll see).

If you (1) sit there and keep talking, what’s likely to happen?

In my experience, unless you’re the ultimate Mac Daddy of all time, the only place to go is DOWN.

Think about it… you got her info. You did it. She’s working. She’s only going to get busy, which will probably make the conversation more difficult.

And then there’s the risk of saying or doing something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense, or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of anything good happening, and a great chance of having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn’t sound like a very good idea to me.

If you (2) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends that show up), and talk to her a few more times while ordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we’re dealing with a situation that almost can’t get any BETTER. Remember, she already gave you the info. Now she might start thinking “Oh, this is just another loser that hangs out all night and gets drunk with his buddies… like the other 47 guys who hit on me.”

Or you might say something dumb… or you might tip her too much or too little and make a strange impression… or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you (3) wait around hoping that you can go home with her, I think you’re REALLY taking your chances in the situation.

Again, unless you’re the ultimate pick-up artist of all time, you’re not likely to be taking home the bar tender by sitting in front of her and drinking all night… for the same reasons listed above.

But what if (4) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you: What effect does disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes the other person think “I wonder where he/she had to go so fast?”

You can also combine this with having something very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might say:

“Nice talking to you… I’m going to go meet up with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun.”

This technique of leaving the moment I’ve gotten a woman’s information has worked WONDERS for me… and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you stick around after you get the info, you create no tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, and have something interesting (even if you don’t say what it is) to go do, then you’re seen as busy… the kind of guy who has a life… someone who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging, and generally NOT having other things to do.

It’s something that will INSTANTLY separate you from other guys, and something that will demonstrate all the right qualities with a single move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I recommend that you start thinking of how to increase it as much as you possibly can, because if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing else matters.

…and if you’d like to learn even more of my personal secrets, from psychology to specific techniques for all kind of situations, then I’d recommend that you download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“. Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…for all the details. There are more sample ideas and techniques on my website, so go check it out!

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

The primary textual contents of this archive is Copyright©2001-2008 by David DeAngelo.  All Rights Reserved.  By your accessing this archive, you understand that the information contained in within is an expression of opinions, and they should be used for personal entertainment purposes only.  You are soley responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and will hold David DeAngelo harmless.  All names have been changed or deleted to protect the contributors, and questions/quotes have been edited for clarity.  By sending David a question or comment you are agreeing to allow him to use it in future articles, newsletters, and writings.  Please keep this in mind when you send your e-mails.

The content of this archive is reproduced here with permission from David DeAngelo.  Visual enhancements and search features have been added by the webmaster to facilitate the reading and researching of the content.  The raw text as it appears here is exactly as it appeared in the original context (e-mail newsletter or published material).  Products, services, or external web sites mentioned or linked to in this archive does not denote endorsement of those items.  The contents reprinted here are the opinion of the original writer(s) and are not necessarily the opinion of, nor endorsed by, the owner(s) or operator(s) of  The archive enhancements are generated automatically and there may be occasions where the visual cues don’t correlate exactly with the textual context; most of the time, though, the enhancements are pretty accurate.  The archive is updated as regularly as possible, whenever new content is available.

>> back to top

 Learn The Skills StoreStore
Click to find out more about The Art of the Pickup
  (Produced by the Founders of