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David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating Mailbag

“Q&A: Getting Started And Approaching Women” – August 12, 2002

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“Q&A: Getting Started And Approaching Women” – August 12, 2002



I have read your e-book. I think it’s great, but questions always arise. I have been dating a woman for five weeks. We’ve had several wonderful dates. She’s a really sweet girl, and I think there is a lot of potential. We have spent the night together three times, but have not yet had full intercourse. I give her oral sex every time and always bring her to orgasm. When I told that I wanted to have full intercourse with her, she told me that she doesn’t do that right away. She said she usually does not get naked with a man, but did so with me because she likes me. We discussed our feelings about sex, and I have never pressured her.

I always aim to please her sexually. She is definitely enjoying what I do for her, and I enjoy doing it for her. Unfortunately, she hardly touches me or does anything to satisfy me sexually. How should I interpret and handle this? I have been considering gently guiding her hand when she gets to the right location, but I’m not sure if this is a good approach. I may even talk to her about it, but I’d rather her advance on me without my prodding. Should I hold off on giving her oral sex? My intuition tells me that doing so would not be very productive. Do you have any suggestions?



DANGER! You are rapidly approaching the WUSS ZONE!

One thing that you DON’T want to do is TELL A WOMAN THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!

Why not? Because you’re GIVING AWAY ALL OF YOUR POWER when you do that.

That’s what ALL men want from her… don’t make me come over there and shake you!

You say that you have my eBook. I want you to QUICKLY open up the bonus booklet that came along with it called “Sex Secrets”. Inside you’ll read what to do.

You need to get her turned on more… to the point where she’s ripping your clothes off. Don’t just give her pleasure like Mr. Wussy… that’s old. She can get that anywhere.

You need to be different. You need to build anticipation and amplify the ATTRACTION. If you don’t you’re probably going to find her getting bored of you because you’re so predictable and boring.

Trust me.


Hi Dave, I need your help !!!

My situation is this….. When I go to clubs, I don’t have to much problem going over to a girl that I like, so it isn’t a lack of confidence. But after a short space of time I find myself struggling to keep the conversation going and start asking the boring questions like, Where do you come from ? How long have you lived there ? Do you drive ?


What the hell do you ask a girl you know nothing about ?


Yes, you do need my help.

The answer is simple:


As soon as you start talking, END the conversation.

Say “It was nice meeting you, I’m going to get back to my friends…” then turn away. Quickly turn back and say “Hey! Do you have email?” If she says yes, pull out a pen and paper and say “Here, write it down… I’d like to talk to you again.”

It’s really not that difficult.

The problem in busy, crowded public situations is that there are WAY too many distractions. You’re competing with music, loud drunk people, or whatever else is around. It’s like trying have a meaningful conversation at a baseball game.

Instead, get the info, and move on. If you follow up with a charming email, you’ll hear back 50%-80% of the time (in my experience).

And for GODSAKES… STOP ASKING BORING QUESTIONS! You’re not on a job interview. And neither is she. Boring, lame, typical questions only position you as an average dork.



Great advice you give, i used to be one of the wussy guys, being nice and always there for the girls, but i’ve been using c&f lately on new girls i meet AND ones i already knew. it works. Really well. im no longer the ‘nice guy’ to them.. im the guy they all talk about. But i have a problem.. ive learnt the hard way once… and since moved on….now the problem has presented itself again :/ here it is…:

I get to know a group of absolute HOT chicks.. and i want them all… so… i bust on them all… nothing wrong there.. everythings going fine… later down the track though… they all want a piece of me….. anything wrong with that? NOT AT ALL!!! first time this happened i blindly dove in.. hooking up with all of them.. not all at once unfortunately… one thing wrong though… they find out about each other and all of a sudden im the sleave bucket they never want to see again…. WHAMO! now there were some hunnies in this group dave, and i wanted more than just once off’s with them.. ALL of them!! but noooo… im the bad guy now. ( i can see their point really but come on) NOW, being the Jedi Master… i know you have the answer to my problem as the situation has popped up again with a new group… im seeing one at the moment but her friends are to hot to leave alone… i use c&f on them and they love it but i see where this is going.. the same way as it did before….. am i writing to much here?? anyway.. back to the point….. How can i avoid the same thing happening? im sure you can see my situation… is there a way of having…. can i say sex on here? or shall i say shag.. ill say shag…. how can i shag them all with out them getting bitchy about me sleeping with the others too?? now don’t go accusing me dave of being greedy… i know you’d have been in this situation before. i need your wisdom and quick!!

Thanks again man, you’ve helped me ten fold.



P.S. im not re-reading this to see if it makes sense.. ill leave that up to you heheheh.


Yea, my heart really goes out to you. I’m feelin’ ya. It must be tough.

I’m going to have to make an educated guess on this one.

I’ll bet that it’s not the fact that you’re sleeping with all of them that’s the MAIN problem… it’s probably that you didn’t make it clear up front what was going on.

They probably feel like you were trying to HIDE the fact and they CAUGHT YOU sneaking around on all of them…

When, in fact it doesn’t sound like that’s what you were trying to do.

Remember, perception is more important to most people than reality. And if a woman perceives that you’re trying to deceive her, she’ll shut you down.

I’d recommend that you figure out how to make sure that all of the women you’re seeing know that you’re at least seeing other women that they know.

You don’t have to get into specifics, but if you want to prevent the “you’re a sneaky bastard” problem, then you might want to diffuse the situation before it BECOMES a situation.

Women will accept you for whatever you are… but they don’t like it if they suspect that you’re trying to pull the wool over their eyes.



How are you man? I bought your book and I really like what you’re doing. I’ve found your research to be right on point! Anyways, I have some notes from the field for you and your readers. This is a perfect example of the “unaffected and crassness towards a hot chick” behaviour you wrote of in your book. I was at a local club the other night and I found a place at the bar where I noticed a lot of girls were going to get served. So I and my friends went right to that spot and I just sort of planted myself against the bar in a slouching yet confident kind of way. Just playing cool and unaffected by any hot chick going past but still making eye contact with them. Well, inevitably a hot chick and her friends slides up to my left. I of course look over my shoulder at her and tell her my drink preference. She said something about how “I should be buying her a drink”, and I said “yeah that’ll happen” very sarcastically. So the dialogue went on and of course I was wearing out the whole cocky & funny thing and busting on her, it was working like a charm of course. I even at one point was asked buy her friend to pass a napkin and I did that little, she reached for it and I pulled it away bit several times, which although very basic was cracking her up. Needless to say, this hottie that i had initiated conversation with was all about rubbing her titties all over my side that was open to her, my back! I thought of the most cocky thing I could say that was subtley sexual and as she was rubbing those nice titties of hers all over me, i looked her in the eyes and said, “you really need to stop doing that!” Well, she looked at me is such disbelief that it seemed no man has ever even slightly suggested that she not rub her tits on him. Which obviously has in fact never happened. Needless to say she was eyeing me all night but I had to move on to another hottie, from Sweden, and later in the night I saw her dragging around by hand some big chump that she probably just met but when she walked past me with her “boytoy” those eyes of hers were shouting “f–k me, please!”

Well that’s it for the story keep up the “good struggle”, Adam “el cholo”

P.S. (do you think that your research is just as valid for use in Latin American countries such as Mexico?)


To answer your last question first, I get emails from guys all over the world who are using these techniques… so my guess is that they’re fairly universal. I’m sure that there’s a culture somewhere that isn’t friendly to it, but I haven’t heard about it yet.

And as for your story… I LOVE IT!

It’s a true Jedi level maneuver to bust on a woman for doing something that any other man would pay money to have done.

It’s confusing, and, when done right, MAGICAL.

Keep up the great work. You should have 10 female stalkers in no time at all.


Dear David,

You are the man. I just want to share a little success story with you. I’ve been practicing the cocky and funny routine online and I must say it works like magic. I talked to this one girl for only an hour, I kept up the cocky and funny routine the whole time, she asked for my number and called me 10 minutes later. We arranged a meeting and it went great. I stayed in character all night and even got her to come back to my place. We had a very passionate and heated little session (no sex but damn close). I can barely remember the last time I even kissed a girl, but now I think I’m starting to understand what I was doing wrong for such a long time. You are absolutely right when you say that it is the CHARACTER and not the material that attracts women. This girl couldn’t get enough. I teased her all night and never let up.

Unfortunately I must have turned into a WUSSY boy at some point between the hot and heavy session at my place and when I dropped her off. I’m not really sure what happened. I’m thinking maybe I screwed up by calling her the next day. She was screening her calls obviously and never called me back. I waited a week and tried again with a well thought out message. I thought it was a good message but now that I think about it, it was cocky but NOT funny. I wasn’t feeling the character. She messed up my self-esteem and it was probably obvious in the message. But I’m over it and now I say FORGET HER, move on to the next one. That’s the only way to get better, is by learning from our mistakes and making a game out of it. Because that is all it is to them , A GAME. We just have to know how to play.

Thanks David. YOU RULE.



You’re OK… you’re doing fine. And let me echo a comment that you made (which came from me, of course), because it’s SOOO important:

“…now I think I’m starting to understand what I was doing wrong for such a long time. You are absolutely right when you say that it is the CHARACTER and not the material that attracts women…”

You MUST get into the right CHARACTER in order to make this whole male-female-ATTRACTION thing work. You need to play the ROLE correctly.

In fact, if the CHARACTER is right, you can actually screw up a lot of the specific technical things (calling too soon, saying Wuss-Bag things, etc.) and still have great success.

But if the character is WRONG, then you’re going to have a very hard time making things work… even if you are using ALL of the techniques correctly.

Thanks for your email, that’s such an important point.


HER: “If you think I’m going to sleep with you, after you’ve spent the last couple of hours teasing and taking the mickey, think again!”

ME: No answer, just a slight smile… (Six months ago, SuperWuss would’ve said “But honey, please… I was only kidding!”)

One hour later, in bed: HER: “I don’t want to just be another one in your harem, you know!” ME: No answer, just another slight smile, and a kiss on the neck. (Six months ago, SuperWuss would’ve said “But honey, you know I really really respect you and love you….”)

Five minutes later, her legs are locked around my waist:-)

You know Dave, I’m in an incredibly funny space right now: I am CONSTANTLY saying to myself “Jeez… Did I just get away with saying/doing THAT???” LOL I’m having the time of my life, and it’s all thanks to you. I’d like to meet you in person one day, and shake your hand!

Anyway, my question: Every guy’s been in this situation, you’re walking out somewhere with a beautiful girl, and some other guy (or guys) makes a whistle or ‘Hey baby’ comment to your girl… What’s a good C+F response to this? What I’m concerned about is using the situation to make the girl MORE attracted to ME, rather than putting down the guy. Part of me wants to tell the guy to butt out and mind his own business/get his own girl etc. but I’m aware that not only will this possibly make me look like an insecure, jealous asshole, but could also get me into a potentially dangerous situation that would ruin the good evening I have planned. On the other hand, I worry that no response at all may look like I’m a mouse not a man! I thought about saying to my girl “Damn! I wish these gays would just leave me alone!”, making out it was ME the guy was hitting on, but I’m not sure if I want to put the idea I’m gay into her mind LOL. What do you think?


R London UK


GREAT question.

Well, remember, every situation is an opportunity to INCREASE THE ATTRACTION.

These are great opportunities to position yourself in her mind in a way that sets you apart from all other guys.

What would most guys do in this situation?

1. Get insecure and jealous.

2. Start a fight.

3. Pull the woman closer.

4. Act intimidated.

Your idea is great… making a joke out of it by suggesting that the guy is trying to pick you up.

Another idea is to just keep walking without even paying notice to it, then a moment later commenting “Don’t you just love the way typical guys act? Classy, isn’t it?”

This, in effect, lumps other guys into a group and sets you apart from it.

By not reacting at all to other men’s advances, you also show that you’re not easily upset.

I think that if you let things upset you, that you open yourself to manipulative behaviors that involve getting you upset.

Much better to smile and not let things get to you… because the irony of it is that if you let things get to you, they will.


I am a lady and read your spam for the fun of it. Boy are you all wet and not dry behind the ears yet when it comes to knowing how to attract a lady. I suppose you do all right attracting the ugly ducklings that want to be your door mat.

Making fun of the way a lady is not attractive, it just shows what a rude jerk you really are and have no manners. Faking being busy on the phone is one of the oldest tricks in the book and all women are wise to it. If you were truly busy, you would not have called in the first place and women know this. Waiting a certain length of time to call is just ignorance. Out of sight, out of mind is the way most women think about men, when you snooze, you loose.

Darlin, get real, this is 2002, head games are a definate no no, honesty is in, or has it been so long since you have attracted a lady instead of a door mat you don’t know this. Women have more brains than men and all women know we are sitting on the world men are trying to win, so being rude and making a real pain in the butt out of yourself may get you a door mat but never a lady.

Keep your nonsense flowing, us women get a real good laugh from your advice on how to score. The old saying sure holds true with your writing,” Those who can do, those who can’t write a book on how to”. haha!


Well I guess you told me!

Here’s what I heard you say (my interpretations, of course):

1. Waiting to call a woman back is a bad idea, and if you don’t call her immediately then she’ll forget you and not want to ever see you again.

2. Women are smarter than men.

3. Women are “sitting on the world men are trying to win”, which I’m assuming means what you have between your legs.

4. That you believe I promote “being rude” and “faking being busy”.

OK, where do I start?

I don’t know, but I have sneakin’ suspicion that you share the CRACK PIPE with the STONED woman from last week. Don’t tell me that you’re a base-head too?

Well, I guess you asked for it, with your off-the-handle emotional rant… so here goes. (Can you believe that I get to have this much fun… and call it work?)

So you think that waiting to call a woman back is a bad idea, huh?

And you think that if you don’t call her back immediately that she’ll have forgotten you… and just not be interested.

This is an interesting line of thinking.

If you’re high.

Look, it’s soooo commonly known that it’s not a good idea to call a woman the moment after you’ve met her that even guys who have never seen the movie SWINGERS know not to do it!

Yea, I see. I think that from now on, I’ll just ask women for their cel phone numbers, then call them right after I walk away. I can say “Hi… it’s me! Look over your left shoulder! Here I am! [Waving my arms around]”

That would be cool.

I’d make fun of this idea more, but I have a minimum of three more incredibly stupid ideas of yours to bust on…

So you think that women are smarter than men, huh? Your exact comment was “Women have more brains than men”. You know, this is genius level thinking. It’s probably because you’re smarter than me that you actually know this.

I’ll bet, though, that because you’ve smoked so much CRACK that you’ve killed enough brain cells to make us at least EQUALLY “brainy”. Just a hunch.

I think you took a step down the wrong path with this comment.

And then you started RUNNING FULL SPEED down that same wrong path with:

“…all women know we are sitting on the world men are trying to win…”

Do me a favor… next time you send me an email like this, send me your address so I can PAY YOU for your contribution. I wish I could come up with stuff like this myself.

I see that you’ve written me an email, so you must have access to a computer (just a guess). But it seems to me that you must be pretty new to the internet, because you obviously haven’t figured out that any man can get online and within 30 seconds be looking at beautiful naked women for free.

And if they really have a mind to not have to listen to your mouth AND AT THE SAME TIME “win” the “world” that women like yourself are sitting on, ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS FLY TO VEGAS AND GET A CAB OUT TO THE CHICKEN RANCH!

This is 2002! It’s not the dark ages.

I feel like I can speak for most of the guys on this newsletter when I say that we would like to meet women who are emotionally stable, friendly, happy, financially together, etc. (I don’t expect you to be able to identify with this description… don’t worry about it.)

It’s not our desire to just “win what you’re sitting on”.

We don’t have to anymore. We improve ourselves in this area because we WANT TO. We’re not interested in playing “Hi there Miss, will you please give me some attention and some of what you’re sitting on?”

And finally, to address your comment that implies that I teach men to be rude and to fake things…

You’re missing the boat entirely. It’s like a joke, you either get it or you don’t. And you don’t.

Remember, send your address next time! And also try the spelling and grammar check in your word processor, because you write like an emotionally unstable middle-schooler.



I have been reading your news letters for awhile now and decided that I would give it a shot, I got a few one night stands and then met this girl that I felt really strong for and went ahead and used what I had learned cocky and funny, it worked, since I wanted her to be a long term relationship I also added in some nice, sweet, subtle compliments in along the way and it worked we have now been together for about a month and a half. All that stuff that you said taught me was fantastic for one night stands and even long term. Those people that say it doesn’t work are either:

1. Too much of a wuss to try it or

2. have tried it once and only once and probably messed it up along the way got shot down and are to much of a wuss to get back up and try it agian. Right on for your advice and keep it coming, you never know when it might come in handy.



Yes, I’m going to comment on the “R” word… relationships.

If you attract a woman using these techniques, then you must remember to KEEP IT FUN AND INTERESTING for her as you move into a relationship.

You’ve got the formula right… slowly start doing more “relationship” type things, subtly complimenting her, etc.

Too many guys switch from being charming, challenging, and interesting to being full-on WUSSIES when it comes time to do the relationship thing… which, of course, drives the woman away.

You must remember that when a woman feels ATTRACTION for you, she’s feeling it for a REASON. Make sure you keep that reason going into the future!


Cocky and funny is absolutely the best technique for getting women, but there is still more to it. Keeping your composure is also very important. If for any reason you say… trip and fall… then don’t overreact! Every human on the face of the planet makes mistakes similar to that, and you make it a lot worse by blowing it out of proportion by freaking out in crazy embarrassed way. Just get back up, laugh a little and say a little “oops” or something then go on like nothing happened. Act like you aren’t fazed when you screw up around girls. It gives an overwhelming sense to the girls that you are one confident badass.

Confidence is beyond important. You cannot show fear of anything. People have got to look at the world as their own playground, where everybody else is just their string puppets for them to control to get what they want. You’ve got to emit the sense to whatever girl you are trying to hook up with that you think anything is possible. There is no fear, and thus there is only supreme confidence. Supreme confidence will bring you supreme women.


Ah, one of my favorite topics: COMPOSURE.

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of composure lately. I’m actually writing a section on it in a future book… and I spent some time talking about it in the Los Angeles seminar back in May.

Composure if vital because we humans tend to read very subtle cues from others, then make large judgments about them as people.

For instance, if you’re the type that let’s little things bother you, then you’re probably going to be thought of as not-exactly-masculine.

For instance, let’s say that you’re out with a girl for coffee, and you come out to find a parking ticket on your car. Some guys I know wouldn’t even think about it… they’d just get upset. They’d start whining, ranting and raving… and throwing a tantrum… with no regard for what the woman is thinking of them.

On the other hand, I know guys who would causally pick up the ticket, make a funny comment, and not even miss a beat.

What’s the difference?

The guy who keeps his composure at all times is FAR more attractive than the one who doesn’t.

Another place that composure plays an important part is when women TEST men. If a woman starts trying to push your buttons, becomes demanding, or starts being dramatic about something, you need to KEEP YOUR COOL.

In fact, some of the guys I know who are THE MOST successful with women actually don’t even respond AT ALL to drama or tests from women.

They just continue what they were doing.

Oh the other hand, I know some guys who let this kind of thing take them off balance and upset them (I used to be one of those guys).

If you let things like this upset you, or even get to you a little bit, it’s going to be obvious that you can’t control your emotions, and it will make you less attractive all the way around.

Keep your composure. Keep your composure. Keep your composure.


Hey Dave,

I’m a female reader, but I still love receiving your newsletter. I know where you’re coming from with a lot of the information you explain to the readers. I have plenty of guyfriends and I am definitely attracted to those jerky kinda guys. Your newsletter can apply to the ways women can get pick up men too.. I mean, a lot of times, its about the approach and confidence level, so it works for some women. Sometimes things you write make me laugh because they’re right on the money and other times I’m like “DAMN so that’s what the guy was trying to do”. It’s enjoyable seeing the techniques that guys use and their point of views. Do you think there are any other newsletters like this out there.. but for gals like myself? Keep up the great work!



Did I mention that I love honest women? Another letter that speaks for itself… thank you!


Dear Doctor David,

Please come round here and kill me I am so pathetic. Ive read your book twice now and should be putting some of it to good use. But it seems that I am completely inept at doing so. Ive just been talking to this fine young lady at the gym. (By the way Ive been out of circulation for quite some time now since my divorce and I’m way out of practice) Anyway I was just talking to her and all of a sudden I started to go into wuss mode I even forgot here name as soon as she told me so i asked here it again, so pathetic! I also hung around for a little bit to long plus I never asked for her email.

Now I would really like to get to know this girl take her out on a date etc. But I’m really sure that I’ve blown my chances. Although she seemed interested mostly apart from the forgeting her name part Next time I see her I really want to recover the situation and act properly, maybe I should pretend to forget her name again make a joke of it. what do you think.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

By the way your last news letter was awesome, very informative, I just hope that I can put it to some good use and become a “Jedi Master!”

Best regards


Lancaster, England.


Hey, you’re doing fine.

Every one of us is in a different place in life, and you’re going to get this figured out.

The more you deal with attractive women, the more relaxed you’ll NATURALLY become, and the more easily you’ll remember to do the things you need to do in these situations.

Next time you see this woman, just go about your business and see if she starts talking to you. If not, no big deal.

The second time you see her at the gym, then talk to her. At that point, casually say “Hey, do you have email?” Then get it and LEAVE IMMEDIATELY… have somewhere you’re going… don’t linger.

Send her a charming email, and meet her for tea. You’re doing great.

And by the way, stop calling me Doctor. Everyone’s going to start thinking that I’m smart or something.

Hey, maybe I should get one of those Internet PhD’s, huh?

“Huh Huh, Hey Beavith… huh huh… that would be kewl.”


HI David, you are THE MAN!!!

I am in recovery of what you may call “success-with-women” coma, I was on life support until I found your website, then EVERYTHING changed!!!! I have managed to go out with girls that are 8’s or 9’s in my scale, thing which I haven’t done in almost 5 years (after breaking up with my cheating girlfriend). Anyway, we went out with some friends to dinner on saturday and one of our girl-friends went with this blonde that was an 9.5-10. So one of my friends started hitting on her (according to most girls he is very good looking) and she was paying attention to him…. at first! I started with my cocky & funny routine and she was all over me!! To make things short I walked home with her email, home and cell phone number and my friend ended up with… NOTHING. I wouldn’t have been able to do that in other time. THANKS!!!!

Now my question. There’s this girl at the gym I go to, we have been flirting, and I haven’t talked to her, yet. I can’t come up with really good cocky and funny lines, any suggestions?

Thanks again!!!



Yea, you’d better hurry up, because the guy in the last email I commented on is probably at the gym picking her up right now!

And the funny thing is that I’m going to give you the same advice. In these kinds of situations, it’s best to get the email address, then send an email the next day. Start a dialogue, then get her on the phone and meet her for coffee. It’s simple.

Whenever you’re in doubt, just remember to take one small step… don’t make a big deal. All you need to do is get an email and number… then take the next step… and the next… and the rest will take care of itself.



You said: “You know, I’m really tired of you women treating me like some kind of piece of meat. I have feelings too, and I don’t just like being thought of as a sex object.”

When she gets over that, why not follow up with: “I bet you’d kill for my waist too.”

It doesn’t matter if she’s really slim or not. The formula is magic and it gets easier the more you use it.

>>From J in Melbourne


You know, that’s a great follow up.

Funny, but a friend of mine in Australia came up with that original Cocky and Funny approach of “I’m not just a sex object… I have feelings too” and it’s not surprising to me that someone else from down under would come up with a great add-on to it.


Turning the sexual stereotype roles around, then having fun with them is a GREAT way to keep conversations going,

and a great way to have fun.


OK, I’ll keep this short and sweet. I used to SUCK at getting girls and was terrified of rejection and talking to strange girls in public. Bought your book, and changed my whole approach to women. I was in future shop and this sales-girl dropped this palm screen-cover that I was going to buy between two glass display cases. So I immediately starting busting on her with a serious face how she did it on purpose, just because it was the only one they had in the store. Anyhow when I was leaving, I told her the least she could do was to give me her number. She laughed and did, and I called her the next day. She said she had to go and was busy, so I told her I bought another screen-cover at her competition store, to keep up the Cocky & Funny. I called back 2 more times and each time she was busy. This has happened a few times when I have called girls after getting their number. Sometimes I wait a few days after getting a girl’s number, so I don’t appear desperate; but this doesn’t seem to have it’s desired effect. But I am obviously doing something wrong because once I get the number, it usually ends there. When is it best to call a girl after getting her number, and what’s the secret to success to meet quickly for your half-hour cup of tea plan after getting a girl’s number?


I have just one word for you:


Get the email.

You’ll get probably twice as many emails returned the first time as you will phone calls.

And with email, you can follow up if she doesn’t email you back.

#2 can say:

“What, playing hard to get so soon? Talk to me.”

…and it doesn’t come off as needy.

If you CALL and say that, it does come off as needy.

Don’t ask me why, but it seems that email has all kinds of great benefits that the phone doesn’t.

Start the dialogue with email, then switch to a short phone call to set up the first meeting… then move to meeting in person. Works much better.


Hey Dave,

Your stuff is amazing. Check out this success story. I was at a coffee shop with some friends. I was sitting at a table all by myself right next to my friends, because there wasn’t enough room for all of us to sit at the same table. I had two empty chairs at my table. This hottie comes in with two of her female friends. As she was ordering her coffee, we make eye contact, and after four to five seconds I look at my watch. She does the same thing. I know she was checking me out. She comes and sits at the table in front of me. There were only two chairs at her table. She walks up to me and says:

Can I borrow a chair. I said : Sure. I know. Wussy. But it gets better. She takes the chair and sits but her back is facing me. So I tell her: “Excuse me I was nice enough to let you borrow my chair and all of a sudden you turn your back on me. ” Oh I ‘m sorry, well where do you want me to sit” She says. So I say ” why don’t you tell your two friends to push a little bit and you sit there, therefore you don’t have your back turned on me and you can see my pretty face. She starts laughing as she’s moving over. So I accused her. “Are you laughing in my face. My face is not to be laughed at, it is to be admired.” She comes and sits at my table, where there was the other chair

HER: Sorry but I wasn’t laughing in your face
ME: Yes you were.
HER: I am sorry then. My name is Lisa
ME: I am glad you told me but it’s too late for first impressions. Look at you, right now you have your back turned on your friends. This is very disrespectful.
HER: Oh come on stop it.
ME: Stop what, this is reality
HER: Well where do you want me to sit
ME: You can come and sit next to me, my back is facing the window. (she actually came and sat next to me.She asked me for a light)
HER: Can I borrow your lighter
ME: Well it all depends
HER: It depends on what
ME: On whether you want to light up your cigarette, or you want to light up a fire in this coffee shop. (she starts laughing, so I kept on going), because if it’s the second one then forget it, I have my fingerprints on this lighter and I will be accused for your actions. (she continues to laugh)
HER: No I want to light up my cigarette.
ME: Well now that we have established that fact, what do I get in return.
HER: In return for what
ME: Well listen, I let you borrow my chair and i didn’t say anything, but my lighter is pushing it. So I want to get something in return.
HER: A hug
ME: You can do better than that
HER: OK a kiss
ME: I tell you what. you give me a hug for letting you borrow my chair and a kiss for my lighter.
HER: Wo. You’re pushing it
ME: Fine no lighter. And I will go and get my chair back. ( As I get up she stops me)
HER: Ok fine. ( So i got the kiss and the hug, This routine is amazing)
HER: I like your watch
ME: Thanks. This watch has a battery that has 100 years guarantee. I will be dead and the watch will still be working. ( she starts laughing).
ME: You want to try it on
HER: Ya sure ( she wears it)
ME: Naa, it doesn’t look good on you. I, on the other hand, make it look good. (And I grabbed it out of of her wrist)

After some small talk I got her e-mail and phone number. We have been out a couple of times but I play everything according to your book. I end all conversations and phone calls. I have here call me and say that I am busy. i have established that I want to be just friends. I still accuse her for having her back turned on people so therefore she always sits next to me because I always sit by the window. Thanks for all the advice Pure genius


What a great example of how to interact with a woman… so you both have fun, and she experiences a wonderful, challenging experience which only amplifies her attraction.

Very nice.



You are indeed the man! I have been running around in the dark but thanks to your book the light has finally come on, and I realize that my wires have been crossed. In the past when I would meet an attractive woman I would do the old “roll over and play wuss” and she would just want to be friends. And the girls that I only wanted to be friends with I would be all C&F with and they would be calling all the time, telling me how funny I am and how I have Charisma (and I do). But I just couldn’t see what I was doing wrong.

Now after reading your book it all makes perfect sense to me. Now I treat 10’s like they are 2’s (still giving up human respect, no one likes a “true” a##hole!) But just because they won the “genetic lotto” doesn’t mean I or any other man should feel the need to kiss their ass. Now I just treat them like they were one of my friends and let them know that until they show me why I should “lower my standards”(ha..ha) that’s all they will ever be. And dude… it dives them nuts. And the few that throw a little “tiff” I just tell them I’m not their “boyfriend” so they better have their fit on someone else’s time.

Thanks again,



Nothing else really needs to be said. Preach it.

…and that about wraps it up.

Let me ask you a question… are you at a point in your life where it’s time to start learning about how the whole concept of “women and dating” works better?

Have you been walking around trying to make sense out of why women are attracted to some men, but not attracted to others?

Have you seen average-looking guys or guy friends who seem to be able to attract beautiful women… even though they didn’t have looks, fame, or money?

Well, if you’d like to get a behind-the-scenes look into the minds of women, and you’d like to learn the techniques for attracting women and creating ATTRACTION that it’s taken me literally YEARS to figure out, then I’d recommend you go and download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating.”

Inside I’ll give you the codes to the locked safe of the female mind. You’ll learn the REAL story behind why women are attracted to some men, and not to others.

Just go to:

[ebook download link]

…now and download your copy.

I’ll talk to you again in a few days.

Your Friend,

David D.

***If you’d like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines***

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well your stuff works” comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because this helps other guys to see what’s working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you’re from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

…don’t just hit “reply” to this email. Thanks!

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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