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“Q&A: How To Tease For Sexual Tension” – August 22, 2002

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“Q&A: How To Tease For Sexual Tension” – August 22, 2002



Great book! I have read it three times over the last year and learned something new each time. I recommend it to all my friends…well not ALL of them- I DON’T WANT THAT MUCH COMPETITION!

My Story- I was on a two hour flight over the weekend and I was seated by a fairly attractive female from the southeast. I noticed right away that she wasn’t to keen on the idea of flying by here closed eyes, clinched fists, and pursed lips. I looked over from my book and also noticing her closed book in her lap and asked her, “Is that book that bad, or do you just not like flying?” Instant success. Her response was “No, the books good, I just don’t like take offs and landings.” And my retort, “Your not going to start jumping up and down screaming are you, cause I sure would hate to have to hold you down and restrain you…well, unless your into that sort of thing.” Got a lite punch in the arm and a jiggle, so far so good. So, we continued to chit-chat for the next five minutes until we were off the ground. I then abruptly told here that I really had to get back to my book as I was in the middle of some important research. She tried pressing me to tell her what I was researching, but I put on the James Bond and told her, “If I tell you, I’d have to kill you…and you seem like such a nice FRIEND that I would hate to do that.” As bad as I deep down wanted to continue the conversation, I shut it off…until we hit some turbulence. After the first couple of small bumps, I leaned over and told her, ” You can stop shaking the plane any time you feel like it, your really making it hard to read.” She cut me a sly glance and went back to her book. But I kept laying it on. A minute or two later, we hit a rougher patch of air, and I turned to her with a straight face and said, “I’d appreciate you not trying to scare all these people on this plane. I mean, I know I am the man and all, but even I can’t handle ALL these women on this plane running up to me and needing consoling when we get on the ground.” A harder laugh still. A harder bump still lay ahead, and this time she bumped into me. I told her I saw through this turbulence she was causing, and she was just using it as an excuse to touch me. I told her, “you don’t have to worry, I don’t bite…too hard.” Still more turbulence, and I told her if she kept it up, I was going to have to give her a spanking. Her response was “Oooohhhh…maybe after the flight”. I was like, “If your lucky…” There was definitely some tension being created by the situation and dialogue. The weather finally calmed down and the flight attendants began serving drinks. Wouldn’t you know it, but this girl accidentally spilt her coke all over my pants and was visibly embarrassed. I calmly turned to her and said, “You know there are much easier ways to get me out of my pants. Well, if you want me out of them that bad…” And I actually reached down and undid my belt and started to undo my pants when she reached over and said, ” I have a three hour layover, wait till we are on the ground.” I told her, “I don’t know, these wet pants are awfully uncomfortable.” And this blew me away, she said, “tell me about it”, while rubbing her thighs together. Just then the waitress walked by and she grabbed some napkins and um, dried me off so to speak. The way she was clutching and grabbing at my thigh, I asked her did she need help drying her pants as well, she said, “oh yeah!” nodding methodically. We were on the ground in less than 30 minutes, and needless to say, I now have some unclaimed baggage. That was the best “lay”-over I ever had.

But I did have one question, how do you handle situations where you can’t get away (3-5 min rule), ie on an airplane? In a bar, you walk away, but on a bus or plane, your kinda stuck. I broke it up into blocks with long intentional breaks and had good success. Is that the best route? And on the same note, when do you go for the email? After the first chat, or getting off the plane?

Your indebted friend,


University of Alabama in Huntsville


Ah isn’t it funny how the people who really understand ideas are always looking to improve…

I think that you’ve answered your own question with your great story, but because I just can’t stand to not make any comments of my own, I’ll put in my two cents worth.

First off, your story is a wonderful example of how to behave when you’re in a situation like this (on a plane, sitting beside her for a long period of time, etc.).

You’ve demonstrated that you really “get” how to combine being Cocky and Funny with advancing the conversation, bringing up sex in a charming way, and using the tension of the situation to create SEXUAL tension.

There are so many great things about this story… and I’d love to comment on them all. But I think it speaks for itself… in fact, go read it again and look for things that stand out… things you may have missed the first time.

And to answer your questions in more detail…

The best way to handle a situation really depends on what OUTCOME you’re looking for.

If you’re on a plane sitting next to a woman who lives a thousand miles away, and you’re just looking to have some quick fun, then you’re going to want to behave differently than if you’d like to get a date and the woman you’re talking to lives down the block.

The nice thing about being “put” next to a woman for a couple of hours is that you have more of her attention over the duration.

And because you won’t have as many interruptions, distractions, competition, friends trying to pull her away, etc. you can basically behave as if you were out with her.

One thing you did here that really comes through is YOU ACTED TOTALLY COMFORTABLE with her.

A lot of guys would have gotten nervous and let this interfere with the conversation. As I’ve mentioned many times before, women can tell INSTANTLY if you’re intimidated. And, of course, it doesn’t help things at all.

So one of the things you can do to communicate total comfort is to STOP TALKING once in awhile and go back to what you were doing. It’s best to do this when the conversation is going well… on an up note. Just go back to whatever you were doing.

Pretend that you’re sitting next to your best friend. How would you act?

You’d talk some of the time, and do whatever you wanted some of the time.

Why? Because you’re totally comfortable and UN-self-conscious.

These pauses create a wonderful mystery for the woman that you’re talking to. Remember, most attractive women aren’t used to being around men who are composed. And they’re DEFINITELY not used to being around men who are so comfortable that they tease and get “annoyed” by her.

The next thing that’s very powerful here is that you start subtly bringing up sexual topics, and most powerfully, accusing HER of it many times.

It’s obvious that you wanted to turn the conversation sexual, and you did a great job of it.

Most men are too afraid to mention sex during initial conversations with women… but the fact is that women LOVE to talk about sex.

What you did is throw out the topic and listened to see if she was comfortable with it.

By the way she responded, she obviously was… so you dialed it up another notch, and got more and more suggestive… without being crude or crass about it.

This gave her the opportunity to kind of weave herself into the story, and get herself deeper and deeper into it.


And to answer your last question, I think it’s best to wait until the end, right before you’re departing if you’re just going to exchange emails and numbers. Do it casually.

I’ve found that if you get a woman’s email and number, then keep talking to her that much of the mystery is lost. She knows that you’re interested, and she doesn’t have to work for anything.

Oh, and thanks for mentioning that you’ve read my book THREE times over the last year… (hint, hint)…

[ebook download link]

And I’ll talk to you in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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