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Nothing will happen for you unless you get off the couch
10/14/02 1:57:58 PM Eastern Standard Time
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Cliff's List Website
http://www.cliffslist.com/
Please go to the website for a full list of the rules, disclaimers,
suggested links and referrals to other seduction sites and explanations of
what this list is all about. Seminar, workshop & conference schedules are
on the website also, as is a glossary of terms that may be used here that
you may be unfamiliar with.
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Tony B.:
>Mystery: Ah, but asking HER OUT FOR A DRINK is different from buying a
girl a drink that you JUST MET AT A BAR. If you INVITE someone out for
something, then you will pay. If you say, "come join my friends", then SHE
pays. Be aware of the way you invite someone.
Tony B.: Exactly, I agree with you, there is no reason to buy a girl a
drink that I just met out at a bar. I DID invite her out for a drink and
she let me know she was interested in me by telling me that, and even told
me how she likes to be courted.
>Mystery: She's setting you up for SUGAR DADDY. My MM Solution: I pull
out a wad of flash cash in a money clip and say, "See this? Who's money is
this? That's right, MINE. Not yours, MINE. Don't nickel and dime me k? Get
your OWN drink." This shows that you HAVE MONEY and you AREN'T CHEAP. You
just aren't going to be SHIT ON. Later if I want to buy her something, I
will. But not cause I HAVE to based on ancient CULTURAL PROTOCOL.
Tony B.: Cultural protocol is there for a reason, I'm not saying that what
you do doesn't work for you, I am a member of the Lounge and have seen some
of the pictures of the women you date, Kudos. My point is that there are
women out there that have these guidelines, and if she is really interested
in you why not conform to a couple guidelines? I thought that is what NLP
is all about, anyway. Showing them something that they want, and
fractionating...causing her to want it more and realize that it can be lost
> Mystery: Do you see how pulling out a wad of bills shuts them the fuck
up?! Next time, man, next time. "That's right, this wad of cash is MINE.
And with it, I buy myself stuff. Sure I may buy my girlfriend stuff with MY
money, but you're not my GF are you? No. Ok then." I've been there man, I
feel ya.
Tony B.: What reason would she want to be your girlfriend if her criteria
isn't being met in the first place? You are just displaying how much of a
cheap ass you are and how much money you really don't have to spread.
Albeit, the money is not for her, it's for YOUR enjoyment of being in an
environment where everyone is happy, but you are the source of that
happiness, something they will remember. I am not advocating massive
amounts of gifts for her or even a single gift, as a matter of fact. I am
simply talking about DRINKS. Consumables. Something that you do for the
enjoyment.
>Mystery: You don't tell her the TRUTH. "Well, I'm trying to appear cool
to you while not wasting my hard earned money on a girl who may not fuck me
anyways."
Tony B.: Money has the same effect as social proof. It shows itself off,
you don't show it off. Its value is only how much you install in it.
>Mystery: I truly believe that you should treat your mate like a
princess. Your MATE! But a girl you just MET? Sorry, she needs to QUALIFY
HERSELF before she gets a chance to be with THIS MALE 10 thank you.
Tony B.: Ahem.. How about that future pacing stuff? Showing her the good
of a future with you. Something also to be tread lightly on, cause you are
still SAYING IT, you better perform on it. In my opinion, Future pacing is
best done by telling her a few things in distant future within her
IMAGINATION, all the other stuff that is achievable, just shut up about it
and do it spontaneously. Of course, there is no way to say that either way
is wrong, there are applications for both.
> Mystery: Attitude is NOT the solution. You need to SYSTEMATICALLY
DEMONSTRATE your value. You need specific tactics and strategies, not pep
talks. In the movie "Magnolia", Tom Cruise said the KEY to getting a women
into bed was "LANGUAGING". I gave that a LOT of thought. And I disagree.
The MAGIC KEY is "DEMONSTRATION".
Tony B.: Nobody cares about what you say, they just see what appeals to
them. And the only way to get that out of them is by listening to them.
Language is how they communicate their ideas and innermost desires to you.
Unless you are a REALLY good mind reader, I doubt you have been able to
demonstrate anything other than appealing spectacles that MAY interest the
subject. If you are standing in front of some chick and you start into a
magic show, you are taking a stab in the dark. But, if someday you are
talking to her about magic and it appeals to her then you know that you
have a go ahead to do that and have her complete attention
>Mystery: PROVE by DEMONSTRATION (even PHOTOS) is best. TALKING ABOUT
your greatness SUCKS! In group theory, we DEMONSTRATE value by making the
target's peer group LOVE us. We get social proof by pawning 2 girls from a
previous group and merging them with the new group. We show photos that
have us doing AWESOME things with AWESOME people. Saying, "no really, I'm
cool" doesn't fry a girl's bacon.
Tony B.: Pulling out your pictures and digital camera with a photo routine
looks nearly as desperate as telling her you are really cool. I'm looking
at the really big picture here and I just can't see how there is any way,
shape or form to pull out your camera non-chalantly to let her look through
your photos and not presenting the fact that you are a desperate fool
looking for that social proof factor. C'mon get real, if you have to stoop
to photos to prove how cool you are, you need to do more work on your
social life, you should be getting approached by people that haven't seen
you in "however long" to say "hi" to you. THAT, my friend, is social
proof. They are coming back to you cause you made them feel good and they
like you, not just some chick you nail and decide to put in your camera for
a quick social proof stunt.
I leave photos around my house for some of the girls that I have over here,
they pick them up. Rarely do they care to ask the story of these pictures,
and as much rapport as I have with these girls, I don't think they really
give a shit how many other girls I have fucked, they just wanna know how I
can make them feel as good as the girls in the pictures feel, or even
better for that matter.
>Mystery: If you aren't doing GROUPS, strongly consider doing my
workshop. I demonstrate social dynamics in it. Trust me, you'll benefit.
Tony B.: Groups work great, no doubt, I work groups as large as 8 at times
and commonly groups of 3-5. Either way, it is a great way to meet new
people and demonstrate how you are the kind of person that they wanna be
around.
>Mystery: Don't buy a STRANGER a drink. Once you know each other's names,
you can say "how bout you take the first round and I'll take the
next." Then don't DATE her first. Tell her you don't DATE girls you don't
sleep with. Once she is your GF, then you will have to buy her something to
start. How's that for a fair game plan?
Tony B.: Why trade off drinks with someone you just met? The center of that
attention is drinks. If I meet a girl in a bar, I let her buy her own
drinks, all night. IF and only if, I am doing a shot on my way out the
door, I'll offer to buy her one or whatever group of people I am in, we
always end up doing some sexually named shot at the end of the night.
THAT'S IT!
> Cliff's Comment: I once went out with a very hot little number that I
had met at a trade show. She offered to pay for herself at the end of the
meal and without going into details, I went along with it. I later found
out from various sources that this was a test and that I had failed miserably.
>Mystery: See, this is DATE stuff. You have to tell her UP FRONT what
YOUR RULES are, otherwise you have to do what is EXPECTED of you ... which
is to PAY. It's best to get the "I only date GFs" out of the way early so
set PROPER expectations."
Tony B.: I love the way you reframe the word dating, it astonishes me, like
you made up the word. There is a reason that people use nominalizations,
they fit into the things that society teaches people. Dating from a PUA
stance is totally different than from a chick's stance, never mind the
AFC's, lol.
I'm never gonna advocate when AFC's do, I am however gonna say that there
is a way that society does function and if you, as a PUA want to be at
least somewhat fitting for society, you cannot sit and nitpick the criteria
that someone has, there is a reason that they feel that way. When I talk to
a chick about dating her, and won't buy her drinks on the first date, I
will SHOW her other ways that I would like to be with her. If I ask her
out.. (from now on) I know that I am asking her out, and that's something
that two people do in the dating stage.. My nominalizations and deletions
are different. When she is my GIRLFRIEND, I'm not dating her any longer, I
am fucking her and she knows that she comes home to me and me only. I own
her heart and her mind. Nothing less.
Dating a chick, that's like that period that you figure out if you wanna
just fuck this girl, or see her more often. But hey, that's my values. I
don't need a million girlfriends, one will do fine. 8 or 10 chicks to date
at a time is certainly a good start to finding out what I want when it
comes to down to having a girlfriend, and it helps to stop from focusing on
just one girl.
>> Cliff's Comment (cont'd) :She wasn't interested to get together
again. My usual way of dealing with this (which I knew at the time and
didn't use for no explainable reason), is that if they offer to pay I tell
them that it is my pleasure to pay for them but if they want to pay, no
problem. I make sure they understand that it is meaningless to me either
way so I take the importance out of the situation.
> Mystery: Personally, I BELIEVE in not spending my hard earned money til
she is my GF, so telling her this works to my advantage.
Tony B.: You said it all right there, "PERSONALLY" It's your opinion, it's
all the way YOU think.
In closing, I am not about to challenge your personality, ethics or morals,
I have SEEN the women you get. I am just saying that your way and the
HARD-NOSED "I'm NOT buying your drinks" attitude isn't going to get you
into some of their panties. It's a drink, or a dinner, it's time spent
together NOT worried about the money, not having a care in the world.
Getting into her mind and seducing her, filling every crevice of her sexual
being with you, to that point where you own her mind, you are everything
she ever wanted and wouldn't think of being with anyone else. Do it with as
many women you want to. Let your actions speak the words that you want to
speak, she'll figure out just what you are about on her own, if you do it
right.
I'm only familiar with the earlier versions of your photo routine but, I
have spent a lot of time learning how to make people feel jealous and being
the cure of their jealousy. It's such a negative emotion that eats people
up inside so deeply and they tie up so much around those bad feelings that
it just won't do much for you at all, no matter what side of it you are on.
Instead of feeding her jealousy with pics, try capturing her imagination
with her thoughts and expanding her mind on those thoughts with you. Like I
said, own her mind.. ENTIRELY.
Anonymous (21st Century A.D.): "The best accomplishment I have ever had is
owning someone's mind, the best feeling that they ever had was me owning them"
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Dwayne:
> Maximillian Hell: I heard that the physicist Richard Feynman made a
great discovery about sex, one merely had to ask for it. Does anyone know
which book of his this is in?
Dwayne: You can find Feynman's quote at this site:
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_2.html#Feynman_8
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Kipp:
I met this lady on line who I have since been speaking with by telephone.
We are to meet when I go to a conference in New Orleans in two weeks. She
sent some photos and I asked her what color her eyes were. She told me they
are vivid blue and she gets compliments all the time. In fact she says she
gets approached by guys who tell her what great eyes she has. She says this
really turns her off! She told me, does that mean that if I had brown eyes
I would not be worth talking to? OR because some guy notices the obvious,
that I should pay some attention to him?
I might point out that I told her she was photogenic but that the best part
of email communication was that I could get to know her openly without
being distracted by her physicality so that I could see her as she really
is before meeting her.
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Tenore:
> Maximillian Hell: I heard that the physicist Richard Feynman made a
great discovery about sex, one merely had to ask for it. Does anyone know
which book of his this is in?
Tenore: Yes, this is in "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman."
Actually, what Feynman says is that before buying a woman a drink or
anything, he would first ask her if she was going to have sex with him that
night. Unless she replied with a convincing "yes," he would not buy her
anything.
Feynman describes in great detail his lack of success as a first-class
AFC. He tells how he had been hanging around in bars in Las Vegas, trying
to score with the women. He had been very generous in wining and dining
them, and having ZERO success. Finally he ran into an old gambler who
explained to him, "under no circumstances be a gentleman! You must
disrespect the girls. Furthermore, the very first rule is, don't buy a girl
anything - not even a package of cigarettes - until you've asked her if
she'll sleep with you, and you're convinced that she will, and that she's
not lying." (Bantam Books, NY, 1985, p. 170)
Feynman was properly incredulous when he first heard this, but being the
great physicist that he was (he went on to win the Nobel prize in physics),
he decided to perform the experiment. He was astonished to learn that his
friend's advice was precisely correct. He refused one woman's requests to
buy her food and drinks, and to his own astonishment ended up sleeping with
her that night.
"I adopted the attitude that all those bar girls are all bitches, that they
aren't worth anything, and all they're in there for is to get you to buy
them a drink, and they're not going to give you a goddamn thing; I'm not
going to be a gentleman to such worthless bitches, and so on. I learned it
till it was automatic."
He later found out that the same approach worked on "respectable" women as
well. Truly, one of the great minds of our century, perhaps the only
recognized genius to apply his talents to the art of seduction», and to
write about it. He was an uncommonly honest man as well. (Incidentally, one
recent article claimed that the mathematician and philosopher Bertrand
Russell was a "sexual predator" who did not hesitate to seduce even the
wife of a friend, for example Mrs. T.S. Elliot. Who says that geniuses have
to be nerds?!)
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Throughfare:
>Maximillian Hell: I heard that the physicist Richard Feynman made a
great discovery about sex, one merely had to ask for it. Does anyone know
which book of his this is in?
Throughfare: A whole chapter entitled "You Just Ask Them" is devoted to
this discovery in his book "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" The book is
still in print, every university library has a copy- and it's only $10.95
to buy from Amazon.
It's a great read - Feynman was quite the ladies' man, and I think his
success had a lot to do with the principles seen on this list:
He was cocky and funny. He was unpretentious (he even tried to see if he
could get out of going to the Nobel Prize award ceremony and just have it
sent to him) but he lived a life of incredible adventure, was completely
unconcerned about "what other people might think" and followed his
intuitions and desires.
He could demonstrate value by talking about, for example, how he was a
drummer for a Samba School in Brazil. Women are impressed by this kind of
thing - the "adventurer/lover" as opposed to the "provider/mate" type.
Anyways, if you just want to read the chapter, go to:
http://www.kjartan.org/humor/dating/youjustask.html
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Uriah:
> Dr Alex Bender (aka Poetdude): Lately I've been thinking about how a lot
of guys go about handling their romantic lives, and how it all relates to
my studies in Eastern philosophy - especially to my favorite book, the Tao
Te Ching, by Lao Tse. See, here in Boston, I've got a lot of buddies who
are great guys - smart, young, good-looking, educated, nice jobs, funny. It
looks like they've got it all
together. And yet, so many of them cannot get it together when it comes to
women. It seems that they spend their lives in one of two states: being
alone (and getting to know Rosey and her five sisters really well), or
engaging in a 'relationship by accident'. You know what I'm talking about -
somewhere there is a random collision, usually alcohol-enhanced, and two
people end up spending more and more time together, until they are 'going
out', whatever that means. People often perpetuate these relationships
longer than they should, often going as far as moving in with or marrying
said random collider. I've been thinking this is not entirely healthy
behavior. Let me give you an analogy. Let's say you go grocery shopping,
and I say that instead of going and browsing the cereal section, I'm going
to blindfold you, and you have to settle for the first cereal that you
stumble onto. Would you settle for that? What if I told you that you could
only have cereal if one of the boxes happened to fall off the shelf and
into your arms, and you weren't allowed to reach for one at all? Would you
be OK with that? And yet, a lot of guys out there are doing exactly that
when it comes to dealing with women - going at it blind, waiting for
accident to bring them something. My point is that a lot of men (and women)
out there are settling for what they can get, vs. going for what they want.
To take the cereal analogy a bit further: you wouldn't just settle for any
random cereal when you know you have choices and can afford any kind that
you want. Bringing it back to the context of relationships, three things
are operating to deprive people of their fulfillment: they don't know what
they want; they bring a scarcity
mentality to the interaction - an imagined lack of choice; and they don't
think they can get what they want. The Tao Te Ching has a lot to say about
that, so I decided to write up my thoughts. I won't claim much originality
- human history has been long enough to
come up with most of these ideas beforehand. However, in terms of
simplicity, ease of applicability and contemporaneity of this material,
it's pretty darn good. It's an amalgam of an eclectic education in
psychology, psychiatry, anthropology, the sciences, hypnotherapy, NLP,
literature, and close observation of human nature. It's also a record of my
journey from being a frustrated Nice Guy to being a much more fulfilled,
balanced Good Guy. Some of my friends got results within 24 hours of my
presenting this material to them. I call it The Tao of Dating: How to be a
good man and get the fulfillment you deserve. May you also find it useful.
First off, let's figure out what you really want out of a relationship (and
by 'relationship', I mean any kind of interaction with someone, all the way
from one-night stand to married with 2.3 kids in Burbville). Do you want
something long-term and stable with someone you like? Or do you prefer RLDs
(relationships of limited duration)? Are you looking to get laid a lot, and
have hot, unbridled sex with as many women as possible? Whatever results
you are looking for are OK - I just want you to be honest with yourself as
to what those results are. Now a lot of people are looking for the magic
phrase or gimmick or pattern to get the results, to get them success.
Occasionally you will succeed like that, in the same manner that a novice
marksman can occasionally hit the bulls eye by indiscriminately strafing
the target. But I am here to tell you that success - of the reproducible,
long-term kind - is not a gimmick, nor is it a sporadic occurrence. It is a
habit. As Lao Tse would say it, it's a way of being, not a way of becoming
(the theme of being vs becoming will recur - look out for it). Good results
flow from right behaviors. Right behaviors flow from right attitudes. Right
attitudes flow from right beliefs. And beliefs are the core of who you are.
Get the right beliefs, and the rest will follow naturally and effortlessly.
Are you with me here? Another way of expressing this concept comes out of
neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Let's say you want to be rich. Most
people think that the way to be rich is by having lots of money, and so
they go seeking the signs of wealth ('becoming'). NLP says that the proper
sequence for achievement is Be-Do-Have: first, you must think like a rich
person, and have those core beliefs operating at the depths of who you are
(BE); then you will behave like a rich person (DO); and finally, that naturally
allows you to come into possession of the outward signs of wealth (HAVE).
In the dating arena, an example would be that you would be the super mack
daddy, then behave like one, then have all the women you could possibly
handle. Got it? Good. I'm starting to feel my tendonitis acting up, but
before I sign off, I'd like to share with you Chapter 36 of the Tao Te
Ching, as translated by Stephen Mitchell. It's a great translation, and I
urge all of you who haven't yet read this book to get your own copy today.
It changed my life,
and perhaps it can change yours, too. A lot of the concepts and techniques
I will go over come directly from this little bit of concentrated wisdom:
"If you want to shrink something, you must first allow it to expand. If you
want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish. If you
want to take something, you must first allow it to be given. This is called
the subtle perception of the way things are. The soft overcomes the hard.
The slow overcomes the fast. Let your workings remain a mystery. Just show
people the results." Next time: more on how all of this relates to
romantic success; being like water; manhood in America; Nice Guys vs Good
Guys; dating as a martial art.
Uriah: I see a recurring theme, here. It is very difficult to put
everything in perspective. I've managed to get through everything on
fas.speed-seduction.com» (EVERYTHING), in addition to other sources (I went
through sosuave.com before finding this place, which actually explains the
tactics of my PU mentor at least partially). But there's SO much here, and
SO much of it is contradictory! What I've managed to glean is that there
are certain things that all dojos of PUA have in common.
1. Nothing will happen for you unless you get off the couch.
2. Confidence is good.
3. Your state of mind makes a big difference.
4. Practice makes Perfect.
I would like to take some time to point out the validity of the old advice,
"Just Be Yourself". Yes, I know it's crappy advice, but that's mainly
because we don't know HOW. If you are a cocky, arrogant, funny SOB, then
that will get you laid. If you are a quiet, intelligent, spiritual person,
then even THAT can get you laid. What is important is being honest with
yourself, and to make your actions reflect that. That is the root of
confidence.
It's been said many times before: you need to decide what you want. Then go
for it. That's true of business -- (read the book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad
-- it's all about thinking like a rich person, so that you can go do what
it takes to become a rich person -- it changed my life), that's true of
your body, mind, and spirit, and it's true with relationships. You get what
you believe you'll get. To a certain degree, life itself is a
self-fulfilling prophecy (being defined as a prediction that comes true as
a result of making the prediction, mostly through your sub-conscious
affecting your actions). We as humans can alter those beliefs, and
effectively shape the future for ourselves. NLP and hypnosis can get into
the subconscious. Affirmations, goal setting, and controlling your thoughts
can also alter your thought patterns, which are virtually indistinguishable
from beliefs.
Let's talk about controlling your thoughts. If I tell myself, I'm going to
wake up tomorrow at 6 AM and mean it, I will, alarm or no, every time, even
on two hours sleep. Similarly, if I tell myself, I'm going to set my alarm
for 6 AM tomorrow, and hopefully I'll manage to get up on time, there is an
implied disbelief, that will make it SO much harder to get up. Try this
yourself. It works for me, every time (let's note that there are other ways
you can make it easier, like following a routine, and true belief in the
power of the mind).
It's important for you to realize that when you feel something, it is a
perception. Your subconscious dictates what perceptions you have. If you
tell yourself (and believe it) that you won't be tired if you get no sleep
every night so you can study, and that that studying will go very well,
then it is likely that you will prove yourself right. The reason this is
difficult in practice is that it is very very difficult to believe, because
of your long history of it not happening that way, and your relative
newness to these concepts (compared to someone taught this at birth). In
this way, attitude, beliefs, thoughts and behavior are all linked. Some you
have direct control over, and some you do not, but because they are linked,
you can use your control over one to change the others. Have you ever done
something and not known why? That is your subconscious influencing your
behavior. Because it is all a part of your mind, your subconscious has even
more power over your thoughts.
Thomas Edison believed that he could make an electric lamp. Did you know
that he failed thousands and thousands of times before succeeding? After a
thousand failures, by all rational means, he should have decided that it
was impossible. By the scientific method, he should have realized that his
hypothesis was wrong. But he believed, and ultimately succeeded, making him
one of the very richest men of his day. That is letting NOTHING stop in
your way. There is a power about someone who will stop at nothing to get
what they want, and it is infectious and attractive. That's not to say you
should be immoral or emulate those figures in history with that attitude.
Part of what I want out of life is to be a moral, respectable person who is
generally well-liked. I also want to be rich, famous, powerful, and
surrounded by great people. By utilizing techniques to internalize that,
like affirmations, like controlling my negative thoughts, keeping my eye on
the prize, self-hypnosis, and acting to the best of my abilities as someone
on my path would, I achieve that aura of personal power, and things will
and are happening for me to make it a reality. The winning attitude, common
to most great men throughout history, is developing in me.
Look, I don't care if you think this is bullshit or hocus pocus malarkey.
The important thing is that it works, and has worked for millions right up
through history. Another good book that goes into this (again, relating to
money) is Think and Grow Rich.
How is it that I can hypnotize a girl to have an orgasm whenever I say the
word "monkey feathers" (yes, I have done this, and yes, it works)? If even
an orgasm is the product of the subconscious, then what can I affect in
myself? Here's a question: are my hypnotically induced orgasms
physiologically different from real ones (assuming a perfectly phrased
hypnotic suggestion, noting all the physiological and psychological effects
of a real orgasm)? If not, then just imagine the power of hypnosis. Can we
make all involuntary body functions fall under the power of our minds? Can
I cause my body to build more muscle than my exercise habits would suggest?
Can I speed up my metabolism? Can I increase the size of my penis? Can I
make my hair grow faster? (or at all, for you bald men). Can I stave off
aging, or even reverse it? Regenerate lost cells? Lost limbs? The world
record free-dive champion can control his body to the point where his heart
beats fewer than 20 times per minute. How is this possible? Think about the
training regimen that a Navy SEAL goes through. Many of these tasks are
simply not humanly possible for large portions of the population. My PUA
mentor is an ex-SEAL, and the shit he went through is just fucking insane.
His take is that you'd be surprised what you can do if you force yourself.
To let nothing stand in your way. That is what gets someone through the
most rigorous training on
earth. Sheer force of will. That is what makes a man into a mountain. Are
any of you familiar with the martial art where men can learn to stand
against the point of a sword and walk forward until the sword breaks
without breaking the skin? These examples (among others, and they are
NUMEROUS) make me think that we have not yet begun to tap the power of the
mind.
I'm not sure this stuff will do any of that (much less all). But if it
does, then wow, we are missing out! And either way, it DOES work for
simpler stuff that we KNOW is possible.
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Maximillian Hell:
What other seduction resources--lists, newsletters, forums, etc.,-- are you
guys finding useful? I was just deleting a ton of old Mindlist and The Art
posts, wondering vaguely if any were worth reading.
Cliff's Comment: As for what else is useful, I think you will find a lot
on the various sites plugged on my site (eg. pickupguide.com,»
fas.speed-seduction.com,» layguide.com, sosuave.com, etc.). That should keep you
busy for a long time.
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Qaexl (http://www.next-horizons.com/qaexl/):
> >What Qaexl said about power really affected me. What ways does a man
(and an AFC in partic.) have to develop his own power, beyond say the
martial arts example?
Qaexl: Martial arts is a great example, mainly because it gets your body
involved. That's the key point -- you first must have power within
yourself, not necessarily over yourself, or over other people. The first
thing a newbie should do is visit this page:
http://wilber.shambhala.com/html/books/ontast_wharyo.cfm/xid,7686/yid,9442125
The newbie who goes to there and reads it and does it, gets that state of
"detachment yet involvement". It is very easy to do, and for most people,
fairly easy to understand. It doesn't require a trance, an altered state,
software (yes, you CAN go look it up at the local public library. The essay
is called "So Who Are You?" in Ken Wilber's book, One Taste) or anything
special. All Ken Wilber does is point out something that is so very close,
and never left anyone, and will always be there. Any discussion of power
gets confusing unless you experienced this. The newbie shouldn't even
bother reading the rest of what I have to say about developing power until
he reads that and gets familiar with that state.
It is in doing this that you can watch any and all excuses, reasonings,
rationalizing, blathering, and whining that you do. Until you, as the
newbie, have read that above essay, you will always rationalize and excuse
your way of why power doesn't work. It is why going to any one of the
gentlemen's seminars is so effective -- that state rubs off on you.
The second thing is to gain sexual power. Now, a lot of newbies masturbate.
That is OK. However, it is often with the idea that it is wrong -- maybe
some latent guilt, maybe "Why am I here playing with myself and I can't get
any chicks" and on and on and on. Well, you know what? Sexual energy is the
easiest kind of power to awaken in you.
And if you tell yourself those things, they imprint those affirmations into
you much more deeply.
A while back, I had asked myself, why in the world would you want to gain
sexual power and be horny all the time and not ever have it consummate it?
The weird thing is that, gaining sexual power -- REAL sexual power does
make you horny. It also entrains that state into the men and women around
you. The trick is, again, reading that above essay: are you your own
horniness?
No. You're not.
Being comfortable in yourself WHILE being highly sexed is like holding back
a dam. If you get the chance to, go to the bottom of a large dam.
The larger, the better. And think to yourself, look at that dam. The only
thing that keeps all that water from crashing down on your head is the
power of the dam. A man who has that degree of sexual energy -- while being
RELAXED, and casual about it, is like that dam. Women sense it, easily.
Other men sense it, though it will often translate to respect.
A lot of newbies are like that dam, only the dam is feeble and prone to
leak. They masturbate at home, alone, and let the water drain off, rather
than finding a way to build up that dam. But I tell you, it is better to
drain it off if you see the dam as anything other than being relaxed. You
casually hold that wellspring of sexual power, confident in knowing that it
will easily fill up. Sounds like a paradox? Of course. How do you achieve
it? Read that essay. At the end of reading that essay, you'll be at that
state where that paradox gets resolved. Ever been in the eye of a storm?
The eye of a storm is very very calm, while the wind and water rages around
it. That essay takes you to that eye of the storm, shows you how to find it
easily. Then let the storm rage. Keep in mind, though, that just because
the center of the storm doesn't seem to move, all the movements of the
storm must still pass through that eye.
That's power.
The more power you have, the more it *entrains* the people around you.
If you ever went to a clock shop, you can see how all the pendulums
eventually entrain themselves to the largest pendulum. The entrainment is
the same way the hemisync technology entrains your brain waves to put you
into a trance. The entrainment is the same way an NLP practitioner goes
into rapport with another person and then entrains them to a different
state. If you have power, people go into rapport with *you*. If you're
sexually tense, that tends to drive people away, or have fights that break
out, bad feelings all around. Being relaxed and highly sexual, you entrain
that state. Some people will still not be able to handle it and get out of
your way, and some women would feel like they are swept off their feet.
You've started awakening the power in those women...
The third thing you (as a newbie) must master is your breath. Singers with
great vocal power are taught to breath in a way that moves their diaphragm,
for good reason. This one goes lower. You tactilely imagine a balloon below
your navel that expands and presses against the front, downward into your
crotch (PC muscles), and backward to your spine as you inhale (deeply with
your diaphragm) while your diaphragm is the *plunger* that pushes down into
that balloon. You tactilely imagine that same balloon to easily collapse
inward, pulling up your PC muscles (the muscles that you use to cut off a
stream of piss while you're in the bathroom), while the sides and your
lower back muscles feel like they're collapsing inward. The plunger -- the
diaphragm -- moves up.
You slow down your breathing, in easy, natural ways. You want to do this as
often as you can. Finding that center in "So Who Are You?" is much easier
with this kind of a breathing. If you do it right, you should notice that
you're getting more and more horny, while being more and more relaxed. As
you do this *daily*, you'll start noticing that people pay more attention
to you, and your eyes seem to be like little laser points, turning people
around. Over the course of time, it gets easier and easier to stare down
people, as you gain more power. It becomes harder for someone to intimidate
you, as you merely need to go to that place you found from reading "So Who
Are You?" then slow and deepen your breath. It's something that you
practice until it becomes a habit, that adds power to any sort of technique
that you read on here or on the web, including any psychic influence
techniques you might use.
Mind you, the above three things help the newbie get started. It's possible
(if you want to wait that long) to clean yourself up from inside out and
gain that sort of power. These are foundational to learning and applying
the techniques you read here on Cliff's list. It seems so stupid, so basic,
so *boring* ... but hey, it's not my problem that you want to persist in
confusing aggression with power.
There are other great material on this subject that I've only written very
briefly about. I'll comment on the stuff I've bought and read, though what
I've heard second hand about let's say as an example, Ross's seminars, have
all and more of the elements that I listed above, as do other "systems"
that actually work.
Kent Sayre's Unstoppable Confidence uses different language, different
perspective, and is much more detailed. Sisonpyh's Double Your Dating»
material certainly goes into great detail about not being a WUSS. Read some
of the comments that women have sent to his newsletter. It's hilarious. NO9
mentioned the 48 Laws of Power»; this book details the application of power,
so that it becomes visible. It's a great read, and an excellent
encyclopedia full of recipes and howtos. Keep in mind that you need to
develop your power first, before applying it ::Qaexl points to the three
steps outlined above::. If you're brave, you can get a translation of Sun
Tzu's Art of War or Musashi's Book of Five Rings.
My all time favorite is Dr. Glenn Morris's first book, Path Notes of an
American Ninja Master, which details what martial arts is about, and it
isn't just for quaint ideas like "self-defense" or "kicking ass" (though
there's plenty of that). That book is about, you guessed it, power.
Remember, it is *biologically* driven, so whatever you pursue, keep in body
your mind.
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Mark B.:
Classic success story:
I am in downtown Toronto sitting down having coffee with a friend when I
see an HB9 black girl walk by. I say "hi" to her to which she says nothing
for a second but then looks back and says "Hi, there. I am sorry but I was
in a daze and did not hear you right away" and then she keeps on walking.
After about 40 feet she turns back to look and smiles. I bid good bye to my
friend and run after her. As I approached her I said "hey, do you always
walk around like that in a daze". She says "well, no, but I just moved into
this building and I have been moving in my stuff and my mind is on 20
different things". Then we talked on the street for about 20 minutes about
why she moved here, where she lived before, where she works, what I do,
what she liked to do when she goes out. She was also carrying a bunch of
grocery bags and said she was a good cook to which I looked in one of her
bags and saw a pre cooked chicken to which I said "well what kid of a cook
are you of you buy pre cooked chicken?" She laughed at this and invited me
to walk her to the door of her apartment. When we got there I said to her
"hey, come have dinner with me" to which she said "really, you want to have
dinner with me?" I said "well yeah". She gave me her number told me to make
sure I call her to which I said I would.
What made this successful I believe was some teasing along the lines of
what DYD talks about as well as lots of questions about her. I also
realized that once she realized I wanted to have a conversation with her
when I first said hi to her she became open to talking and did.
I called her the next night and we made plans for the upcoming Friday.
Friday came and we went to see Red Dragon (which I did not really like).
She took my arm and held it on her leg while I rubbed her thigh throughout
the whole movie. After we walked for about 2 hours around downtown Toronto
but did not talk about sex or fucking or blowjobs. She laughed a lot and
seemed very comfortable as that was my goal, make her feel as comfortable
as possible and easy to be with.
I walked her home as she lives downtown, without asking I gave her a hug
and then kissed her on the lips and then on the neck. She got all flustered
and bothered but I did not want to press my luck. The next day she called
me twice to talk. Again I saw her for a quick lunch on Wednesday and then
on Saturday she invited me over to her place where I closed the deal.
What worked here was that I did not come across like a sex starved pig but
rather talked about everything in equal proportion and allowed her to
express herself. She said she gets approached a lot and gets lots of
numbers but throws them all away and never if rarely gives away her number.
When I asked her why she gave me hers she said that I made her feel
comfortable by not talking about sex right away. I also did not ask her
whether she wanted to fuck. Once at her place I just took her without
asking and she went along with it. She also said that I conducted myself
with respect and gave her space and did not pressure her for anything.
I began seeing how successful just saying hello to women can be without any
cheesy lines. I said hello to about 20 women over the course of the same
week and 16 of them said hello back and smiled. That is 80% of all woman I
said hello to. It seems that women so much want a normal casual approach
rather than the seedy approach. In all the cases where the women did
respond they had an expectant look on their faces as if they expected to
have a conversation.
On another note, I was walking with a friend of mine at the Sherway Gardens
shopping mall in Toronto and I could not believe what I saw. I saw a guy
maybe in his late 40's, bald with glasses approaching young girls in their
early 20's and trying to have conversations with them. I did not hear what
he said but I could see he had them all laughing but none of then and I
repeat not one woman stayed to talk to him and it did not seem to be due to
his fading looks but more to the fact that he did not seem aggressive or
deeply engaging with them. He would say something and then smile as the
women walked off laughing. Guy has balls but needs to be more aggressive
and assertive.
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| cliff’s list advertisment section |
| Cliff’s Comment: For those of you who are
just reading about this for the first time, I decided a couple of emails ago to add links
to these emails. The idea would be to get enough money in to hire someone to take
over the administrative work (and also to buy things which would improve this list, such
as proper mailing list software) for this list. If you were going to buy the product
anyway, just use the link that appears below and you are helping to keep this list going
at no extra cost to anyone. NON SEDUCTION-RELATED:
RECOMMENDED:
NOT REVIEWED YET:
|
| cliff’s free plugs section |
Cliff’s Comment: The following are all
recommended but clicking on the links and buying from them doesn’t send any money back
here (it is also recommended that the sponsors of these sites consider setting this up —
from the little experience I have had since I started the commercial section a couple of
weeks ago, I think you are missing a lot of business by not doing this):
|
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