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“Q&A: Examples Of Approaching Women” – November 6, 2002

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“Q&A: Examples Of Approaching Women” – November 6, 2002


Dear Dave,

I bought your book and study it very closely, needless to say Like all your other customers I’ve been experiencing far more then double my normal dating. But now I’ve got serious problem that YOUR BOOK DOES NOT TOUCH ON WHATSOEVER. What I need to know is how do I turn then away after they start getting obsessed. I’m now dating my boss’ daughter and cannot break her little heart and she (9.5) is completely into me. With her I’m always cockyfunny and she is obsessed with trying to make me nice, always trying to get me to hug her or make me say something nice. Don’t get me wrong I do say nice things but I make it tough for her just like you said. Anyway, I feel that if I start acting like a wuss now (which I cannot do naturally anymore or I get disgusted with myself) she still won’t leave me. Is it possible to find another way to shutdown her attraction response without hurting her feelings and without me looking like a complete wuss????

Your apprentice.

ML Canada

P.S I’m saving up for those CD’s, I heard the samples on the net that was some deep stuff.


Yea, I feel your pain. You poor, poor dear.

You probably should have been thinking about this before you put the Double Your Dating» WHAMMY on her, man.

If you want a girl to fall in love with you, do all the things I teach, PLUS talk to her or see her every day.

If you DON’T want her to fall in love with you, but instead just want to keep things rather casual and just have fun, then only call her a couple of times a week, and only see her once a week (maybe twice on occasion).

Seeing a woman too much leads to the love feelings, so remember that next time, Mr. Smooth.

Maybe I should write a book called “Half Your Dating” for guys like you. I’ll think about it.


Dear Dave:

First and foremost I love the free news letter. Very insightful to say the least. It has help me regain some lost confidence after a recent break up. The success stories give me hope. Like one of your last subscribers I also have been addicted to chivalry and being the nicest guy any woman has ever meet. I have had much success with this approach, but sooner or later I get cast into the friendship zone. It happen once again to me and I am done with it. No more Mr. Nice guy. C&F all the way from this point out. With respect to my break up she is still wallowing in and out of the relationship. Started being C&F and she appears to like it. No more wuss ass sh** for me!!!!! Get a lot of laughs from her now. I am playing the wait and see game. She even called me up and said lets get back together. What do I do? please I need help now.

Thank you
JP Long Island New York


What do you do?


You learn how to stop acting like a WUSSY, you actually STOP acting like a wuss, your girlfriend starts to really dig you again, and you ask me what to do?

Do whatever you want to do, genius. You’re back in control now! Just don’t turn back into a Wuss Bag, OK?

If you really like this girl, then start dating her again.

Just remember that if you start acting like a girly-man again, things will probably get bad again.



Gotta tell you that you’re right on the mark. I’m a straight female and I read some of your other advice that was passed on to me by some friends with a commentary that they thought you were totally off-base.

Gotta tell ya that there is nothing more impressive than a confident and funny man.

I swear I must have run into one of your trainees – on e-mail he was cocky as can be – and funny! Went out with him once – thought I might date him again – until he called – every day – twice with sort of pleading messages….not a chance!

Dave, you’re the man! Can I have your number?



Thanks for the validation.

And by the way, if that guy started calling you twice a day, then he wasn’t one of mine!

I’d verbally bitch slap him ten ways from Sunday if he told me such a story! lol…

In any event, I’d give you my number, but I’m VERY, VERY selective. Send over some pictures and we’ll talk about it.


Hey I just want to give Double your Dating» 5 stars for the excellent writing and research put into it. I have read just as many books as David on the same subjects but I have not put all into practice. David you hit it right on the dot of what one needs to do in order to reach the ultimate outcome. 1 million thumbs up and now it is time to implement. Hey put this in there for future reference for everyone CARPE DIEM – JUST DO IT TEMNET NOSCE – KNOW THY SELF Two maxims one needs in order to accomplish the accomplishable or mission impossible.



Thanks for the testimonial.

By the way “Carpe Diem” translates into “Seize The Day”, and while you have the translation correct on the second, it’s actually spelled “Temet Nosce”. You just gotta love the internet for checking up on things like this”¦

I’m not sure that it’s polite to correct someone who has just given you a compliment, but hey, I’m not always polite.

Thanks again.



If it’s possible to say this without sounding gay, I LOVE YOU MAN!

I’ve been getting your letters for quite a while, and I was always kinda skeptical about the stuff you were suggesting because it sounded to good to be true. So I decided to test it out for myself.

Being shy I tried some of the stuff from the online personals e-mail you sent, and man does it work! I sent out 5 messages, and less than 24 hours later I’ve received 3 replies, 2 of which want to meet me already. This stuff is amazing!

I do have a question though about the one that didn’t want to meet right away. She said she’s a little nervous about meeting people off the net until she really knows them well. How can I bust her (and girls like her) balls about this? I know that another C+F message would change her mind in a hurry.


Your humble Padawan



First of all, NO it’s not possible to tell me “I LOVE YOU MAN” without sounding at least a little gay.

Second, congratulations on actually taking action and getting some results.

Third, as for the girl who is a “little nervous” about meeting people off the net until she really knows them, just email her and say…

“OK, why don’t we hook up in Vegas and get married, this way we’ll know each other well enough for you to want to meet me.

Or, we could just get together in a public place in the middle of the day in broad daylight with a hundred people around and talk over a cup of tea.

I personally like the Vegas idea…”

…or something equally funny. Then get her phone number and call her up. This has a soothing effect in these types of situations.

Make sure when you talk to her to say things like “Let’s meet for a cup of tea for 20 minutes… this way if you’re really freaky I can escape with minimal time wasted.”

This kind of thing is funny, and puts the idea in her head that YOU’RE the one who’s picky and selective.

Great job!


Hi Dave,

I had downloaded your e-book and had been for months i start practicing what you had taught.

Phone numbers start rolling in by the dozen and every day i got soo many girls calling me for dates that my phone nearly explode of miss calls.

Now, i got to the stage where this girl got physical with me and i use your bridge tactic and got the kiss then went to the petting stage… Then she ask me whether i am doing all this for sex… I didn’t answer her and played the lay back tactic and say i wanted to sleep. She wake me up a few times to force me to answer her and i say nothing… and tell her that if she can’t make up her mind she can leave. In the end she left.

Now. the question is . What should i answer her? if she ask the million dollar question (AM i doing it all for sex)?

Part of South East Asia
Conservative Region


Interesting question.

I’ll tell you what… there’s a lot of power in delivering the truth in a brutal way.

I would probably answer something like:

“No, I was thinking that since we were kissing passionately and feeling each other’s bodies that this was probably going to lead to pure friendship.”

If she pushed the issue and asked something like “Do you just want sex or do you want to have a relationship?” I’d probably answer:

“You’re right. Let’s just go get married tonight…”

The point is that by using a very direct, sarcastic, Cocky & Funny attitude, you can address the issue and basically say “Look, it’s obvious that we both want to have sex, and it’s OK if we do. It doesn’t have to mean anything in particular, and if things work out between us, then they do.”

As you know, I don’t like the idea of being dishonest or misleading people. But in this case it might be a good idea to address the situation and her comments from a different perspective.


Hi Dave,

I am living proof that a guy cannot get girls based on looks alone. A few weeks ago, my buddy took me to a keg party when I knew absolutley no one. I noticed a very attractive girl checking me out, and later one of her friends introduced me to her, and she was obviously nervous and interested. So I decided to keep my sights on her for the night. At first she would offer to go get me another beer, she would sit on my lap, etc. and I totally blew it. I acted who you would describe “wussy”. I complimented her way too much, thinking that this would get me further. I didn’t. By the end of the night, she was not at all interested in me. I had no idea what I did wrong until I started getting your newsletters.

A few days ago, I had a blind date with a very cute girl who had a boyfriend at the time, and wanted something new. I decided to take your advice and drop the wussy persona, and go with something new…the cocky/funny gimmick. I kept it up throughout the night, ribbed her, teased her, I did slow movements, talked slowly, paused between sentences, and acted like I owned the place (we were at a restaurant). When I dropper her off at her apartment, I walked her to the door, and she invited me inside! I went it, and we started to kiss. At first I teased her, not letting her have any, and that drove her even more wild! She then asked me to hold on a second, she went to the phone, called her boyfriend, dumped him, hung up, and then she came back over to me! I ended up spending the night, and I’m seeing her again tonight. Thank you Dave! My payment for your ebook is in the mail right now!

J from Barrie, Ontario, Canada


Ah, insight from the front lines.

This one insight that you’ve described will literally change your success with women forever.

It’s hard to “logically” get the concept of how acting like a WUSSY will drive women away, while acting like a “masculine man”, busting on a woman, teasing her, playing “hard to get” and other such things can work so well.

But it does.

Thanks for the story.


Dear David,

For starters I just want to say your work is amazing and I really give you a lot of credit for really figuring this stuff out and not just trying to sell a magic cure for losers. Anyway…….I’ve listened to your CD series and read your book and I’m actually starting to figure this stuff out, slowly.

I went over to this girls house I met online (cocky and funny all the way) and I can tell that she totally likes me, I haven’t closed the deal yet, but this is not the point of my letter to you. After I left the girls house, I met a friend of mine for a drink and realized something about him that has been elusive to me for many years. He understands this deeper level of communication that you talk about. I leaned back and observed him over the course of the evening. All he did was be himself, but he managed to ATTRACT two different women in the same night by just being totally cool and comfortable with himself and treating them like his “bratty little sister”. He is one of my best friends and I never realized he had this ability because it’s not really what he lives for. It’s just a part of him and he knows exactly when to bring it out. He dresses funny and is in many respects, kind of “a dork”. But that doesn’t matter, he has slept with many girls, many of them very gorgeous. I could never figure out what was so special about him that the girls were attracted to. I brought it up to him later in the night and he had no idea what I was talking about. He said to me that he basically just treats women (hot or not) the way he would anyone else. This may seem simple, but it really struck me as profound. As for my situation, I’m currently in a slow learning curve. I seem to be making gains all the time, but then it seems like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back. I realized after tonight that I need a lot of work and need to constantly REFRAME my inner thoughts because of some self-esteem issues. I’m on track though. I’ve made a commitment to figure this out, no matter what.

Your appreciative and loyal student

P.S. I know this was a bit long-winded but one more question. Is there going to be a L.A. seminar anytime soon? I really think it would be great to meet you and some of the other amazing guys from the CD series. I also need to try and meet some other guys who are either better than me or at least have the same interests and goals. I’m really struggling with this issue. I don’t know how to handle this. I need someway to find other guys studying or using your material.. Ever thought of designing a section of your website for guys to meet up on? Thanks for listening Dave.


Isn’t it amazing when you watch someone who you’ve known for years interacting with women… and see things that you’ve never seen before?

In my Advanced CD Series (as you know), I spend a lot of time talking about this deeper level of communication… and when you know to look for it, and what specifically to look for, you’ll see so many things that you’ve never even imagined were there.

It’s always mind-blowing to me to see a guy interacting with a woman in front of a group of people, and seeing him tease, bust balls, be Cocky & Funny, etc. while all the others look on, amazed. The woman is obviously very into the guy who is doing this stuff, but the magical part is that THE REST OF THE PEOPLE WATCHING HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON. The other men in the group often think that he’s making all kinds of huge mistakes and that he’s being a jerk.

Now you’re starting to get it.

And yes, the next Los Angeles seminar will be in January. Keep your eyes on the newsletter for more info.


Hi Dave,

Im using your stuff and it works excellent, im 40 i have a 23 year old who id rate as an 8.5 looks, 8.5 personality and a 9 in the sack. I never call her, hint that i have other women and treat her like a hooker in bed, thing is she calls me every day, fuc** like a rabbit, say she loves me and says she shouldn’t feel this way as she could have a nice guy who treats her well ;-] but she loves ME…. Now thing is, im from the uk. in the uk i had lots of action from women, since i came here, not much at all….in the uk, i was the quintessential bastard to the birds, when i came here, i heard from women that they wanted a nice man, i acted like one, got no where for 7 years, came across your stuff, put it to use and got laid FAST, thing is, I did this stuff before in England..thanks for bringing me back on track…you the man buddy, you the man….


I get a lot of emails from guys who say things like “I used to do this stuff, but I forgot that it worked… and thanks for reminding me.”

In fact, when I ask a lot of guys who are really successful with women how they learned, they often remember stories of what they used to do, and techniques that they used to use that they forgot about.

Of course, when I ask them why they stopped doing those things that used to work, they usually shake their heads and say “I don’t know. I guess I just forgot about it”.


I’m glad you’re getting your game back.

Best to you.


I am not sure what freakin’ world that these guys live on but some of these ludicrous stories that they are making up are B.S. I do not care how much game you have some of these stories are should be in the B.S. hall of shame. Some of these stories I buy, but the one about the gas station and how she checks his oil; then waits for him to get done paying for his gas and walks out with him arm and arm. I have as much game as the next guy and most of these techniques/tips I have used or have considered, but in all honesty try and print “real” stories. I have been “around the block” and have been very successful with the ladies, but the whole oil story is “greased”.


OK, here’s the deal…

Every single one of the emails that I put in my newsletters is real. I don’t make any of this stuff up.

I delete all the names and personal data from all these emails to protect privacy, but I keep every email that I get on file to prove that they’re all real, individual emails from real, individual people.

And let me tell you, I’ve personally seen (as in witnessed with my own two eyes) AND personally experienced stories that make the oil checking girl look like an after-school special, OK?



I just finished listening to the Audio program from the recent seminar. Thank you for including SO MUCH interesting and varied material in there! I loved it, and its food for thought for both the ‘inside game’ and the ‘outside game.’ I want to read some of the books you recommended and listen to the whole thing again, and maybe again. You were serious about tossing in everything you had, plus the kitchen sink. So it’s a great thing to have in a format that one can listen to again and again. I am going to try to distill it into 10 or 20 maxims or catch phrases (just cause that’s how I think best) and if I get that far I will share it back with you. (Attraction is Not a Choice, Women can’t control attraction if they feel it and you can’t change it if they don’t; Cocky and Funny in equal proportions, Words are only 7%, etc.). Clearly this ‘stuff’ is not really about ‘getting’ women, but about each of our lives, learning, maximizing, full(er) potential and becoming who you want to become, and the women thing is part of it, but the tools are broader. So I am writing just to thank you for DELIVERING MORE than promised in your ‘ads’ for the audio program. Thanks for going ‘full-out’!

(And your ass does look fat in those pants).



You’re welcome. I appreciate the feedback.

I’ve put so much time into making my CD Audio Program as complete and understandable as possible, and it’s great to get emails like yours from guys who are enjoying it and having success.


Dave, God, Jesus, My Baby’s Daddy,

Here I write once again. I spoke last time of the incredible success I was having, and here I am once again after an INCREDIBLE Friday Night. First of all, TO THE READERS, if you haven’t got the CD SERIES yet, it’s good for ME…and good if YOU ARE interested in joining the priesthood. About seven months ago, I bought the book… but even then I had a few things I was struggling with… and the CD Series has changed everything.

Quick Tips: Works Cited => David DeAngelo

1.) You must go after the “definite major purpose” that Dave talks about. This is NO quick fix. It take a LOT of time with reframing, learning techniques, etc. Don’t be like Oprah and “dedicate” yourself to something (in her case fitness)…only to quit. If you throw in the towel, you will not get women and will have to settle with lonely, portly Oprah look-alikes. WHOOOAHH.

2.) Change must come from within. NO technique will get you where you want to get. You MUST HAVE the self-image to make it happen. The best analogy that I use is this: Take the funniest comedian you know (Seinfeld, Rock, etc) and repeat one of his jokes verbatim to your friends. Why is it that he gets the amount of laughs that he does and YOU don’t? Something else is going on. This applies to everything especially GIRLS. There’s more going on than just pick-up lines.

3.) Body language», voice tone, no nervous ticks, and eye contact. POWERFUL.

4.) Have Dave father your children, but be CAUTIOUS folks, he has this “thing” for Brad Pitt…I’m still wondering about you Dave…lol. If Dave isn’t willing to donate his “seeds,” then find some friends who “get it” and HANG out with them. Please though, offer no sexual favors.

**Success Story: This happened tonight at a Chili’s in the NY area*** My friend who “gets it” told me tonight that he didn’t agree with getting a girl’s e-mail rather than her number. I said it’s better to get BOTH, but he was still disagreeing. I remembered the whole “I’d like a female’s opinion on something…” and decided I’d give it a shot.

Setting: A crowded Bar with lots of people eyeing this set of cute girls. I then, walked up, with everyone watching me and approached who I thought was the cutest.

Me: Hi, my friend and I were talking, and we wanted a female’s opinion on something Her: OK Me: I think that when you first approach a girl you should get her e-mail because it’s so hard to reach people these days. My friend, however, thinks that phone numbers are better. My question to you is what do you think?

Her: *Smiling* I like phone number better, it’s more personable (She obviously doesn’t know about the e-mail, phone number technique)

Me: How old are you? (Like I’m qualifying her)
Her: Older than you…
Me: Let me guess your age…48
Her: *Laughing* No
Me: Ummm….46
Her: 23 (I’m 21, so don’t let age slow you down)
Me: Listen, nice chatting, but I gotta run. Write down your phone number.
Her: Ok….**This completely threw me. Her FRIEND then grabbed a pen out of her purse, handed it to her, and looked for a napkin to write the number
Me: How cute…you brought a secretary (referring to her friend)..does she pay you well? Ohh…I see…she buys you drinks.

**At this point, they were both laughing, she handed me the phone number, and I of course had to drill her Me: Is this the number you actually answer.. Her: Yeah…and then she started to hand it to me.

**Her friend then grabbed it from her***

Her FRIEND: Let me make sure this is the number I call…umm…yeah this is it

*************************** I’m currently “talking” to five girls, and LIFE is great. If you don’t believe the above story happened, then you don’t get it. Well, Dave, give the whole fathering children idea a spin, I see it right now…”Double Your Son’s Dating.” I think the url is available.

–GJG, NY, 21


1. You are a freak.

2. I kind of like it.

3. This is some great stuff. It should be read again by all of those reading this right now.



I’ve just finished listening to the CDs from your seminar. For the first time in my life (33), I “get it”. I really had no idea how comprehensive it would be. You’ve changed my thinking entirely. It’s like all these years I’ve been living a lie and wondering why things haven’t been working out with women. It becomes so clear when you see it.

I emailed you about a year ago and you called me a “wuss”. That was a shock for me. No-one has ever said anything like that to me before. It’s hard to admit now but I was a “wuss” with women. I really hate that word – but it’s perfect for “wusses”.

What you’ve produced is more than a dating program, it’s a system for men on how to live. Thanks.



Sometimes we all need a little “tough love”, and when I called you a Wuss, that’s what I was dealing out to you.

I’m glad you’re finally “getting it” after “all these years”. I know it took me awhile to figure out all this stuff for myself.

…and if you’re reading this right now, and it’s time for YOU to take your success with women to the next level, then do yourself a favor and check out my CD Audio Program. It’s literally JAM PACKED with hundreds and hundreds of great ideas, techniques, and systems for everything from raising your self esteem to meeting women in every possible situation. It really is a GOLD MINE of secrets. And I absolutely guarantee that you’ll be thrilled with it. If you don’t like it, just send it back to me and I’ll refund 100% of your money with no questions asked. You risk nothing. Just go to:

[products info link]

And, of course, if you haven’t yet read my eBook “Double Your Dating” and the three bonus booklets that come with it, then you need to start there. It’s the basic foundation of everything you’ll read in these newsletters, and it’s the place to start. Go to:

[ebook download link]

…to download your copy now.

Thanks for tuning in to another Mailbag.

I’ll talk to you again in a few days.

Your Friend,

David D.

***If you’d like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines***

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well your stuff works” comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because this helps other guys to see what’s working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you’re from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

…don’t just hit “reply” to this email. Thanks!

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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