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“Secrets I’ve Learned About Women” – December 28, 2002

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“Secrets I’ve Learned About Women” – December 28, 2002


I thought it might be interesting to take an opportunity to reflect on and talk about what I learned and realized this past year.

It’s interesting, because I probably learned more in the past year or two (since I wrote Double Your Dating» and released it in April of 2001) than in the rest of my life combined.

And in a way, I didn’t really learn anything new.

I guess I’d have to say that what I actually did was take all the things I ALREADY knew and just began to SEE them and USE them in a different way.

Here are a few things I’ve realized:

1) Attraction isn’t a “conscious” process at all, and if you don’t understand how it works, you could spend your whole life doing the wrong things and getting bad results.

The WORST part about this idea to me is that most guys actually COULD be successful with women… with not that much extra effort in their lives.

But they never will. They’ll just walk through life thinking “Oh, well. Women just aren’t attracted to me. I’m just not the kind of guy that women like. Other guys have a certain something that I lack…” etc.

And the problem isn’t at all THEM, it’s that they just don’t “get it”. They don’t get how and why women are attracted to men. They don’t realize that all the “nice” things they’re doing are only making the problem worse.



I think about those words all the time, and I say them all the time to guys… but every time I think about it I get that “Ah Ha!” feeling… like I just figured out the key to life or something.

2) Most of the things that guys are doing to “pursue” and “seduce” women are actually working AGAINST them.

I always shake my head when I think about how I behaved before I understood how ATTRACTION worked.

I tried SO hard to make women like me.

I called, visited, bought gifts, and basically tried every WUSSY thing I could.

Have you ever heard someone say “I spent my life climbing the ladder of success… only to find out it was leaning against the wrong wall”?

It’s hard to conceive and even ENTERTAIN the thought that buying a woman a gift, telling her how you “feel” about her after you’ve just met her, giving her a lot of compliments, etc. could actually make her RUN away from you.

But it can and does all the time.

But, if your mind is wired up like mine used to be, then you’ll just TRY HARDER instead of TRYING SOMETHING NEW.

3) Women read into EVERYTHING. They don’t take things at face value… they’re always INTERPRETING.

When I wrote Double Your Dating», I knew that women basically used a sort of “code” to communicate.

But over the past year or two it’s become VERY obvious to me that this idea has more significance than I originally thought.

Men basically say what’s on their mind, and they take what others say literally.

This is why when a woman has a problem, and a man tries to fix it, she says “You’re not listening to me!”.

One of the biggest realizations that I’ve had in this particular area is that even the same WORD or sentence can mean two TOTALLY different things to a man and a woman.

For instance, if I was out a bar in my “past life”, and I liked the hot bartender that was serving my drink, I might have thought it would be a good idea to tell her that I thought she was attractive and then ask her out on a date.

Well, now I might say to an attractive, sassy bartender something like: “You’re pretty fast with those drinks. Do you do windows too? Nevermind, we’d fight all the time, and this would never work out.”



I actually believe that most guys have the NATURAL ability to communicate with attractive women in a way that makes them feel ATTRACTION… but the problem is that they’ve just never “cultivated” that natural ability… and instead culture, their parents, language, and all kinds of other things have hidden and stunted the development of this talent.

Another thing I’ve learned is that I learn a lot by teaching. I really have enjoyed writing all of these newsletters, interacting with all of my subscribers, teaching seminars in L.A. and New York, doing the teleconference trainings… and working on all the other good stuff that’s going to come out in the next few months.

If you’re good with women, I recommend that you find a guy who ISN’T that good, and help him.

I can almost guarantee that you will learn SO MUCH MORE by teaching than you can by doing alone.

And it’s also a very gratifying experience to help other guys learn something that is so important to them.

Of course, the thing I’m most proud of is my Advanced Dating Techniques program that I released this year.

I have gotten so many letters from guys who are using that program to transform their lives… in more areas than just women and dating.

It took a long time to plan, record, edit, design, and put together… but it was worth it.

If you’ve been considering investing in it, then I really invite you to do so. I’ve mentioned before that I offer a 100% money-back guarantee, and I mean it. It’s really my intention that if you don’t get a minimum of TEN times the value out of this program that you just send it back. Here’s the link… enjoy:

[products info link]

And if you haven’t read Double Your Dating» yet, then go download a copy for yourself. It’s the best introduction to women and dating available, and it will help you get more success and results starting TONIGHT:

[ebook download link]

Go check them out, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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