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“Q&A: What If She’s THE ONE?” – January 4, 2003

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“Q&A: What If She’s THE ONE?” – January 4, 2003



I’m considering investing in your program, but I have a question for you before I do. Essentially, I’m no longer looking to hook up with women left and right. In fact, I think I’ve met “the one,” but I’m having trouble making her realize this. I’ve been pursuing her for about five months (during part of which time she was away at school, but we kept in regular contact, at first through e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the sense that she’s very guarded about relationships. She’s *very* goal oriented (which is one of the many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore very busy, and – I suspect – she’s been burned in the past, relationship wise. At any rate, on a couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things were moving forward, and then she backpedaled; perhaps she “got spooked,” and took a big step back to protect herself. Most recently, we were out for the first time since she finished school, and – insofar as I was able to determine, I was getting the green light all night: at a movie, I slipped my arm around her and she leaned in, resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at a club for a band, and when we were ready to leave, she reached across the table and held my hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it was pretty chilly, and when she complained about the chill, I stepped over and hugged her. She responded by stepping into it: she pressed her face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full body to body contact – hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder and everything in between. When we got back to to her place, I moved to kiss her and she shied away such that it would have been *extremely* awkward for me to actually do so.

At any rate, we’ve gotten together since (in fact, I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest, and she cooked for me) and we talked a while. As I said above, I think she got a little spooked. She specifically said that she thought the relationship could’ve evolved into something romantic, but that it hasn’t, and she wasn’t sure why. At this moment, she says she doesn’t believe it will. We remain *very* close friends, but I still believe she’s the one, and I’ve told her that I’m still going to pursue this, and she’s keen on still spending time together (for her, for now, as close friends).

My question is this: do you believe your program can aid me in turning her around on this? If so, why?




OK, sit down for this.

Hold on to something tight, because I’m going to yell at you for your own damn good…



If you were closer, I’d slap you myself.


Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don’t usually get so worked up. That makes three exclamation marks in one email, and I haven’t even stared lambasting you proper yet. (What is lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it? It’s such a great word. I really should look and find out.)

OK, I’m calm.

NOW, let’s you and I have a little talk here.

The reason why this kind of situation bothers me is at least twofold:

1) Because I’ve been in it myself about a bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be screwing something up and not even realize that you’re doing it.

2) I can tell from your email that you actually like this girl A LOT, and that she’s probably a fantastic woman… and I hate to see you working so hard against yourself… and screwing this up when it’s right there in front of you for the taking.

Before I tell you all the reasons why you most DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers that might help you STOP screwing this up in the meantime.

OK, back to the basics.

Let’s take this from the top…

At the very beginning of your email, you said something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what was going on here…

You said “…I think I’ve met “the one,” but I’m having trouble making her realize this. I’ve been pursuing her for about five months…”

You’re having trouble making her REALIZE this?

You’ve been PURSUING her?

Do you assume that at some point within the NEXT five months that she’s going to wake up one day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because you like to chase her around and tell her how you feel about her?

Normally I’d make fun of you here, and tell you that you don’t get it… blah blah blah.

But for some reason I feel like I just have to lay things out for you directly.

Look, man… the reason why she’s telling you that she “doesn’t know why it hasn’t evolved into something romantic” is that she doesn’t FEEL IT.

She doesn’t FEEL IT.

Get it?


She doesn’t feel ATTRACTION for you.

And you can’t CONVINCE her to feel it by chasing her around and telling her how you “feel” about her.

Attraction, as I always say, ISN’T A CHOICE.

You’re acting like most guys who think things like: “If she only knew how I felt about her, she’d feel the same way” and “If I keep pursuing her, she’ll eventually see how much I love her” etc.

Well guess what?


Right now you are playing what is referred to as a “losing game”.

Think of it this way. If you stop on the way home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket, you’ll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be lucky one day and win big.

But your chances SUCK.

You’re probably going to lose a LOT more than you win over time.

Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a chance. But you probably won’t. And I mean probably with a BIG P.

I refer to the way that you’re acting as “Being a Wussy” (that’s the technical term… made it up myself).

When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:

-Share “feelings”
-Act submissive
-Seek approval
-Pine away

This is WUSSY behavior.

It’s distinctly FEMININE in nature.

When guys act like this, they’re getting in touch with their inner little girl (and she needs a spanking in the worst way).

And are you ready for the WORST WORST part?

When you act like this around a woman (and ESPECIALLY a “goal oriented” woman who’s probably smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you.

Women aren’t attracted to Wussies.

This is a UNIVERSAL truth.

And by the way that you describe your relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!

She’s trying, man.

And she probably KNOWS that you’d be a great guy to be in a relationship with… but she just doesn’t FEEL IT… so she holds back. I’m sure she WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I’ll bet you money.

Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to turn into something.

You’re probably beyond help with this particular woman, but I’m going to give you a few ideas JUST IN CASE…

1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do), and stop spending so much time with her.

2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and make sure she knows about it.

3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don’t tell her how you “feel about her” anymore. Stop it.

4) Accept that you will probably be friends with her forever, and start acting that way.

5) Don’t try to kiss her or be physical with her at ALL anymore until you understand what you’re doing.

Remember, what you’re doing ISN’T WORKING.

If you do these things that I’ve described, you will probably have the best chance of turning this around.

NOW, the next thing you need to do is what you asked me about in your email… GET MY ADVANCED DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM.

You need a new perspective on this entire situation. And you need a new perspective on women.

You’re obviously a smart guy, and once you begin to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, you’ll change how you behave COMPLETELY.

Total transformation.

And the best part is that you won’t be changing how you act and “faking it”. You’ll change how you act because you GET IT.

It’s really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that magical ATTRACTION for you that she REALLY WANTS TO FEEL.

And it’s also amazing to know exactly how to get physical with a woman without having to deal with the awkward “shy away from the kiss” situation that you described in your email.

I guarantee that when you listen to and/or watch this program, it will FOREVER CHANGE how you think about and act around women. Period, end of story.

Here, let me give you the hard-sell…

I had to learn all of this stuff the hard way. I’ve been right where you are many, many, MANY times in my life. It sucks. I know it does.

The reason why my program will be good for you is because it was good FOR ME FIRST. I teach what I do.

And because I also believe that you should only have to pay for something that you find value in, it comes with a no-questions-asked 100% guarantee. If you don’t like it, send it back and I’ll give you your money back.

I’m betting that once you have it in your hot little hands that I couldn’t pry it away from you with a crowbar.

I’m serious.

OK, enough of me trying to convince you of something you already know. Go get it:

[products info link]

…and if you’re reading this right now and you haven’t yet downloaded your copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“, I have something to tell you…

My eBook is the foundation for everything that I teach in these newsletters, and it’s the foundation for my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.

Guys are surprised when they listen to the Advanced Program, because I don’t just rehash Double Your Dating» and talk about a few new tricks.

The Advanced Program is almost all new stuff.

And you need to read Double Your Dating» TOO, because it contains a lot of valuable material that sets the stage for everything else. It’s here, go download it now:

[ebook download link]

I’ll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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