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“Q&A: Dealing With VERY Attractive Women” – January 17, 2003

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“Q&A: Dealing With VERY Attractive Women” – January 17, 2003



(This is going to be long, deal.) I am a recovering wuss. Less than two months ago a 2 year relationship finally ran itself into the ground. Knowing what I know now I don’t think would have saved it, but I think it would have been more fun while it lasted, and I would have gotten out a lot sooner. Advice to other guys who are in confusing transitional periods…focus on yourself. Think about your life, what you’re doing, and where you are going. After being in a long relationship, you forget what it’s like to be on your own and think about yourself. Being directed and happy with your own life is the best thing you can do for your love life. I’ve started to “get it” and since the breakup I’ve been hitting the gym every day, standing up straighter, eating better, working harder, getting more involved with my family, etc. My life is a LOT busier now than it used to, and it feels great. It also gives you a much different perspective on women. This has already been covered quite a bit, but it’s true that this is a cycle. If you have confidence in your life, women will respond very positively on you, which gives you more confidence in your love life. Acting picky (in a smart way) about women is a self-fulfilling thought!

Now my question. There’s a girl I met about 6 months ago while I was still in that other relationship…she’s about a 9 in looks, and she is the only girl I’ve ever met who I think might actually be as smart as I am.

She’s very young though, and probably not very experienced as far as relationships go. When we first met, we talked for quite a while and it turned out we share a LOT of obscure interests and at the time she gave me her email AND phone number without my asking for it. Somehow that didn’t send up the “she wants you” flag, as I was in dumbass male wussy boy relationship mode. Well now I’ve gotten back in touch with her. Her first response was very positive, with comments like “I was afraid you’d forgotten about little old me!” and such. She also apologized for taking so long to reply (it was only a few days) since she had been on vacation. I figured there was never a better time to try out c&f so I responded with “So what are you going to do to make it up to me?” I had never imagined I could be so bold, but it felt SO right. You are absolutely right when you say that c&f isn’t game playing. It’s what deep down inside we are all supposed to be doing! Well, she responded almost apologetically with a suggestion that we could go out and then figure it out, and she said maybe go to a movie or a particular museum, or anything… I responded with (and here’s where my question starts) “hmm..sounds about all of the above?” She also closed that email with “lots of love,” Now at this point, I fought HARD to stave off wussy boy mode. I was thinking that the “nice” (wussy) thing to do would be to also close with “lots of love” or something along those lines. So instead, I continued to bust on her as I had throughout the email by responding to it with “hmm… again…lots sounds tempting about all?”

Now my question is this. These responses seem like they might be wussy since they are “admitting” at least indirectly that I feel strongly about her and want to spend a lot of time with her. However, they are a stark contrast to the “oh yes, lets please go to a movie! I’m the luckiest moron ever!” and “love,” responses. To generalize further, as long as you take a step back and say what you want to say for yourself (because it’s what you want) and not what you think they want to hear, is that good enough? I’m reminded of the contrast you made between “Can I take you out to dinner?” and “I’m going out to dinner, you should join me.”


J.M., New Hampshire
(Where men are men and sheep are scared.)



It’s NOT cool to write “Where men are men and sheep are scared” as the tagline after your name.

Stop that.

Now let’s have a little talk…

To comment on the first thing that you talked about, it really is easy to fall into a pattern of negative behavior when you’re in a long relationship that isn’t working.

Sometimes it seems easier to act like a Wuss, do what your girlfriend/wife wants, and put aside your own self respect just to avoid conflicts when a relationship is going bad.

Hell, sometimes it becomes easy to do this even when a relationship is going WELL if you don’t know any better.

And by the time you finally get OUT of the relationship you can be left with a negative outlook, resentment towards your ex (that you project onto other women), and all kinds of other baggage.

Oh, and you’re right on… when you are in one of these “transitional” periods, it’s a GREAT idea to focus on yourself, and work on getting your life together.

Raising your standards, staying busy, improving all areas of your life… all great ideas.

The idea of becoming more “picky” is also a winner.

Women are attracted to men who have high standards.

Now to your question…

You’ve brought up a distinction that is VERY, VERY important.

And once you get the hang of making this distinction and communicating effectively with it, you’ll notice a MAJOR shift in the way women respond to you.

You’re definitely on the right track, so let’s really get into this issue.

Most men make the mistake of doing and saying a million little things that, as you say, make it “seem like they might be wussy since they are “admitting” at least indirectly that I feel strongly about her and want to spend a lot of time with her”.


So let’s break this down.

Your question to me is basically “Is it “good enough” that I don’t tell a woman what she wants to hear? And is it OK to let her know, or “admit” that I’m interested in her?”

You had some kind of confusing, mixed up, convoluted way of asking… so I thought I’d do you the favor of making it simple and understandable.

You can pay me later.


Why would you want to “admit” to a woman this early on that you are “interested” in her?

Your Inner Wuss is just longing for a way to express herself… I mean himself… isn’t she/he?

And ESPECIALLY with a woman who you described as a “9 in looks” and “as smart as you”?!

Get with the program, man.

This woman KNOWS that every guy in the world wants her. She walks through the world ASSUMING that at an unconscious level.

When you “admit” that you’re interested in her in all these subtle and cute little ways you’re just basically making yourself more and more like all the other guys in the world (in her mind, that is).

Don’t you see?

In her email to you, she said: “I was afraid you’d forgotten about little old me!” and she also “apologized for taking so long to reply”.

Then you responded by saying “So when are you going to make it up to me?”…


She replied by saying “we could go out and figure it out then…” and she also suggested a movie or museum.


What you did WORKED!

It worked, so now you want to do something ELSE.

Humans love to find things that work, then do something else as soon as possible.

Here’s a little wisdom from the mouth of David D.:

When you find something that works with women, KEEP DOING IT.

I know, it’s profound, isn’t it?

You can pay me for that later as well.

Instead of replying “How about all of the above”, you should have replied with:

“A movie or a museum? Great, maybe we could stop and buy some GERITOL on the way. Think of something more interesting to make it up to me. And hurry up, because I’m starting to think that maybe you’re not as smart and creative as I had originally guessed.”

And by the way, she also closed her email with “lots of love”… and you replied with “hmm… again…lots sounds tempting about all?”

That’s good. Funny.

But try this:

“Lots of love, huh? How sweet. But you can stop beating around the bush and admit that you love me and can’t wait to be in the warm glow of my presence. We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me.”

When you say “how about all?” it suggests that it’s YOU who wants it… instead of HER who feels it.

Stop with the secretly trying to let women know that you’re “interested”. They know it. The more you are Cocky & Funny, unpredictable, flirty, and charming… and the more you never admit to ANYTHING, the more fascinated and attracted she’s going to feel.

Get rid of the idea that letting her know that you like her with words is going to be a good thing early on.

If anything, tell her she’s a Brat, that she’s walking on thin ice, and that she’d BETTER watch her step or else you’ll leave her for a rich older woman who may not look so good but will pay all your bills and take care of you and will be more enjoyable to visit museums and movies with (even if it does mean taking Geritol…).

Your last question ended with “…is that good enough?”

Stop trying to be or act “good enough”.

“Good enough” usually isn’t.

You want to be UNBELIEVABLY good.

You want to behave in a way that causes women to say “I’ve never met anyone like you before”.

When you start hearing that, you’ll know you’re on the right track.

And if you’re reading this right now, and you want to learn the EXACT, step-by-step sequence of things you need to do to have women saying things like this to you, then I recommend that you check out my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

Let me rant and rave for a minute…

Next time you’re down at the bookstore, look around in the “relationship” section. Also, check out the “sexuality” section. Flip through some of the books.

I want you to look at what kind of information is available to teach you about how to be more successful with women and dating.

Here’s what you’ll find:

1) Lot’s of books by PhDs and therapists who have been divorced 47 times (John Gray and Barbara DeAngelis actually used to be MARRIED… and she’s been married four times, and those are just the ones I know of) These guys love to talk about all kinds of sweet and wonderful things like the differences between men and women, communication, respect, and honesty.

2) A few that are just rewritten books from the 70s and 80s about how to meet women. I enjoy these most. They say all kinds of profound things like “Women don’t like pick up lines because they come across as insincere” or “Women love pick up lines because they show a fun attitude”. Or they give a detailed explanation of how to tell whether a woman is flipping her hair because she is interested in you or because she’s mad. It’s good comedy.

3) Three-inch-thick studies of human sexuality. On page 457 you’ll read that only 7% of women report that they enjoy sex in the “rear entry” position. That’s enough reason to not buy those books right there, if you ask me. Oh, and make sure you look at the PICTURES of the guys and gals that WRITE these particular books. Yea, this guy knows how to meet women. His mom, maybe.

And if you want to waste even more time (but laugh while you’re doing it), go search ONLINE for products about how to meet women.

This is where the REAL entertainment is.

Before you buy anything, do make sure that they offer a money-back guarantee (because you’ll be asking for it within 15 minutes of your purchase).

The internet is the ultimate snake-oil distribution device. Hell, maybe I should start selling snake oil online. I’d probably get rich overnight.

Whatever. I think you feel me.

My point is simply that most of the people who are writing about this topic either don’t teach ANYTHING about how to meet women and make them feel the emotion of ATTRACTION for you, or they teach stuff that’s 100 years old (and it didn’t work back then either).

I really, really encourage you to go see for yourself. An hour in a bookstore will tell you everything you need to know.

So are my techniques and products any different?

If so, how? (Hey, I told you I was going to rant and rave…)

The thing that makes my techniques, products, and systems different from everything else is:

1) I learned and developed most of it by spending time watching and learning from many guys who are “naturally” successful with women, and finding all the things they have in common. Most of these things have NEVER even been described before by ANYONE.

2) I used to be HORRIBLE at meeting women. Horrible doesn’t even describe it well, because I was so bad that I never even tried! I couldn’t even start a conversation with a woman I didn’t know. I spent literally YEARS trying to unlock the secrets and discover what worked with women. I tried just about everything (most of which didn’t work very well). It wasn’t until I really started studying and working with some REALLY successful guys that I was able to find the things that worked to meet and date women.

And let me tell you what… when I started to figure out what REALLY worked with women, I was SHOCKED. It didn’t make sense to me AT ALL. In fact, I still shake my head when I think about it.

Most guys go their whole lives with entirely the wrong idea about “what women want”. And because of it, they live in a reality that never works for them.

Most guys wind up either settling for a woman that is “the best they can get”, or they wind up alone.

Dammit! It doesn’t have to be this way!

One of the reasons I get so excited is that I’ve discovered a lot of the secrets, and I’ve really spent a lot of time to organize, present, and teach what I’ve learned… and I really believe that I’ve solved a HUGE puzzle here.

Hell, I even offer a 100%, no-hassle, no-questions guarantee. I’m trying to make it easy for you to invest here… HELP ME HELP YOU!

OK, enough of my rants…

I want you to succeed with women. I hope you can feel it from these newsletters and the way I talk to you. I also want you to get my Advanced Dating Techniques program because I honestly believe that there is no better or faster way to learn the way.

Go here and check it out:

[products info link]

…and if you haven’t downloaded your copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating“, then maybe I haven’t yelled at you enough yet. You can download it and be reading it in literally MINUTES from right now. Go get it:

[ebook download link]

I’ll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an archive of a David’s answers to questions directed to his mailing list for his Double Your Dating eBook. David’s newsletter is a free e-mail list that that teaches men how to be more successful with women and dating. If you would like to purchase David’s book or subscribe to his mailing list, you should visit

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