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What’s New on Fast Seduction 101 – mASF Post – “FR+: Pure gold venue leads to first bar makeout of my small gentle existence”

Recent post by easymack, June 23, 2010

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Original discussion thread:

I’ll try to suppress my pedantic urges and keep this brief, as we both have shit to do. I signed up for a gym Monday, and the results from a single day’s workout were incredible – effortlessly perfect posture, energy flowing through my veins, criminally delusional levels of self worth. That night I took my friend Spanish out to meet up with a bunch of foreign au pairs at a bar on karaoke night. I see a girl from my middle school leaving and have a good little vibe with her before she leaves – the aura outside this place is good, and my friendly vibe is perfectly suited to it, like Jackie Chan’s tuxedo to Jackie Chan in the film The Tuxedo.

Spanish’s plan is to get a drink and then go fuck his ex-girlfriend. I’ve witnessed her teasing him and playing ruthless mind games all day; after an inspired horizon-gazing speech about the pride of man and personal growth, and no woman being worth one’s own spiritual destruction, that would’ve made George S. Patton sacrifice a German child in its honor, he nods and completely ignores my advice.

So anyway we enter just as the au pairs are leaving, and I follow them out, introduce everyone. My friend Estonia is with a girl whose nationality and name I both forget, so I’ll call her Nice-Ass, because I’m a goddamn idiot like that. I bust on Niceass for wearing a drink bracelet that looks like a hospital bracelet, demanding to know what mental hospital she just got out of. A group of au pair guys shows up, and one of them starts saying something in French and pointing out his forearm; I ask if he and Niceass were heroin addicts who just escaped from rehab, and now everyone likes me. But Spanish is getting restless, so we go inside.

The au pairs were right to take an outside break, as it is easily 900k degrees in this basement bar. But hotter than the temp are the women. I had a moment entering the room that felt like Thurgood entering the weed room in Half Baked – the whole place was PACKED with SMOKING WOMEN. I mean, at least 60% of the crowd was a 6-7 or higher female, and the overall ratio of guys to girls was probably 2 to 1. Just INSANE.

I immediately change to turbo mode and ask the two French girls between me and the bartender what they’re drinking. I grab drinks and leave before the French blonde has completely warmed up to me, and stand right outside of the next group over, three girls one of whom is a hotter blonde but has closed off BL and the other who’s a little more open and a little less hot. I immediately start imitating the third girl, who’s standing up and pulling her strapless dress up higher around her boobs as girls do. She notices and we get into a little competition, then if I recall correctly she opened me. We had a great little banter for awhile. I opened her friends eventually but I only got them semi-receptive before I ran out of fun stuff to say and decided to “go back to my friends.” Speaking of which, Spanish is skedaddling. “Don’t catch anything,” I shout after him. Speaking of which, I’m having trouble bringing him and other wings into new groups – any advice? Not to be arrogant but my value always seems to decrease when I bring certain friends into the mix, and I think the only way to get around it is to just start out with a higher value, which will take time.

I get into yet another all girl group, three including a smoking hot black chick whose recent karaoke attempt I rip on mercilessly. Could have pursued further but fuck it, I can’t blow up my own spot by being too much of a manwhore. Leave them, enter a disaster set of bitchy girls who don’t speak English and aren’t hot enough to ignore me, make the mistake of asking the French one how her world cup team is doing and find out after twelve minutes of translation attempts that they’re actually doing pretty terribly, to the point that she resents me for asking. Sorry, skank, it’s not my fault your country is shit.

I leave them and return to the French blonde at the bar, whom I’ll call Sloppy for reasons which will soon be clear. I follow the 60 “get sexual,” idea, and while I guess her nationality (my first guesses were Eastern Europe, she was very unique looking and a unique French accent, and btw probably a 6-7 (first impression was 7-8)) I visualize fucking her and look from eye to eye and down to her lips. She starts mirroring. I say “I’m going to find my friends” and go for the kiss.

Sloppy: [with taken aback laugh] “Are you trying to kiss me?”

Me: “Yeah.” I go in and she turns her head, so I squeeze her stomach and walk off smiling and without looking at her.

I find my au pair bitches dancing right in front of the karaoke bar like the lovely little attention whores they are. I spin Niceass and dance with her, breaking out very basic hand pumps all around her and Estonia. They reciprocate, and now we’re having fun. Haven’t practiced any dance stuff but somehow just being in my fun state gave me acceptable skills on the floor, and soon enough I bring Niceass into me and we’re grinding. She loves it, but now it’s time for me to ramble.

Walk past a really cute Irish girl who’s dancing in awesome hip circles by herself (though within a group); I tell her I love her hula dancing, she thinks I’m talking about her unique hairdo (lower sides shaved in a punk style, looked really good though) and when I explain she laughs and she gives me DDB. Again, don’t want to blow up my spot as it’s a small venue, so I grab her number and head back to Sloppy.

A guy is in close talking to her. This doesn’t look good. I walk over, put my hand on his back and say, “So how do you know each other?” Turns out they’re all au pair friends (separate au pair circle, which is fucking random) and he takes me aside and says go for it. So I go in and go almost straight for the makeout, and the girl goes limp in my arms. Not a great kisser, but she’s hot. “Let’s go outside, it’s hot down here,” I say, but she doesn’t want to leave her friend at all. Make out some more, then head back to Niceass/Estonia and grind some more. Niceass is hot as fuck, I really like her. Head back to Sloppy and bring her on the dancefloor, where she keeps trying to make out with me while dancing to some energetic Latin song and it’s just too jumpy, not working. I keep pulling back and she keeps going in. I’m pulling out all the stops, touching her ass, inner thighs and around her tits, and she’s super receptive, so I try to get her outside again but she’s adamant about staying. So I head outside myself to look for the other au pair group.

They’re not there, so I head back where I find Sloppy dancing with a guy with amazing dance moves, just really putting me to shame. I talk to his friend briefly, then just stand and watch for approximately five seconds before realizing how lame this is. So I go reopen that boob-adjuster from way back in the beginning. We’re bantering again, she introduces me to some London guy who’s hitting on her, I talk to his Australian friend who I get along with very well. I tell him what just happened and then we talk about another Australian who stole a girl from me with his accent several weeks ago; he tells me it’s the foreign effect, and that conversely I’d kill in Australia. Good to know. But just then I see a beautiful girl with big dark eyes who had made some awesome eye contact with me a little earlier come over to the bar with a questionable black guy.

“You guys make a beautiful couple,” I say.

Bambie: “Haha, we’re not a couple.”

Me: “Then you make a beautiful single,” and I sit next to her at the bar.

She’s turned 100% to me, totally intrigued. I tell her I love her eyes, and then due to some recent cold reading brushup guess about five random things about her completely spot on: that she’s a college student (easy), the kind of art she does (graphic design, which I guessed from noticing her hands don’t have the marks of any other art profession), and a couple other minor things like personality (I like that you pretend to be shy but you’re really one of the most outgoing people you know). We head outside, while she asks me if I’m really psychic. “What do you think?” is my response, but it probably should have been “Yeah”/”Maybe.” I push her against the building and make out; she’s gorgeous but not too into the kissing. Looking back I leaned in and telegraphed way too much interest, but fuck it, I still got her number. Sidenote: when we go inside I see Sloppy in my peripherals, and my impression is she’s pissed off but I don’t look to verify. Whatever, girl. You play the game, you gotta be ready to lose.

It’s true that in the end, Sloppy probably would have fucked me while Bambi only gave me her number, but it was a tradeup and I feel good about being able to walk away like that and just make something else happen. Anyway, my first cold bar makeout happened in a double. Sound your vuvuzelas and punch a fat girl for me!

Oh yeah, another side note. This completely awesome little redhead who I fucked months ago and I’ve been thinking about nonstop since but who lives in another state is coming up on Sunday thanks to this text: “when are you gonna come sweep me off my meat, [special neg nickname]?” I cannot express how happy I am to be fucking this girl within the week, she is a fucking dirty little sweet firecracker explosion bomb and she sucks dick like she’s putting out a fire. Plus I’m hanging out with Bambi tomorrow to go shopping for me, and I have this date with Irish, the green eyed freckled gorgeous girl, that night. Plus my lovely fuckbuddy should be around as well. Someone’s getting fucked, that’s for sure; stay tuned for who.

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