Male Roles in Female Lives
Understanding How Females View the Men in Their Lives
There are 4 main categories of male-female relationships, based on the presence or absence of sexual attraction. Some contain more than one type of relationship -- all these are from the female's perspective although I'm sure there are many similarities when considering the roles that females play in males' lives too.
1) M -- F
[no sexual attraction]
This category includes the Father role, where deep trust is paired with admiration and authority from the object of affection (the Father figure). Also included in this category would be homosexual male friends, brothers and other male relatives, and the heterosexual male true friend, rare as they are. Marked by deep trust and comfort on both sides, if handled appropriately. The classic healthy family relationship dynamic.
2) M --> F
[sexual attraction felt by the male toward the female, but not reversed]
The main role played by men in this category is the so-called "Orbiter", who poses as a true friend but is actually hoping for more. LSE women especially revel in the external validation such a relationship supplies them. Also in this role would be a typical hen-pecked husband, favored by the classic gold-digging woman: a similar situation, wherein the woman receives material benefit in addition to the validation supplied by a man who does not interest her. This relationship is generally fraught with negativity, where the man is desperate and the woman disdains him for his weakness. The classic AFC relationship dynamic.
3) M <-- F
[sexual attraction felt by the female toward the male, but not reversed]
This category includes romantic heroes, badboys, rockstars, players, and sexy authority figures. The classic female adolescent relationship dynamic, it is characterized by fantasy on the female's behalf and either lack of knowledge or advantageous use on the male's. While this dynamic can end up damaging a woman, it can also be healthy if correctly handled. For men it is usually a sign of power and control over his reality. The classic pimp relationship dynamic.
4) M <--> F
[mutual sexual attraction]
This category includes all forms of sexual/romantic pairing: FBs, mLTRs, LTRs, husbands etc. Varies greatly in type and in every other way.
I think it's important to be aware of the role you're playing in her life, as well as the role you see her playing in yours. Roles can be in flux, although they do not usually change from the initial category they get set in upon first meeting someone.
In addition, one can consciously choose not to act upon sexual attraction and consciously choose one category over another. For example, I have chosen category 3 over 4, when I felt it would benefit both of us more to leave the sexual tension untapped.
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