ok here is a quick run down of events:I meet this waitress at a bar I often go to with friends. I am very cool and just friendly. After a few visits we
exchange emails (this mind you, after she says "you never call me"...you know, kinda begging me to email/phone close).
So I ask her out for coffee/lunch and we text a few times. She emails me about if we go out maybe we shoudln't tell
anyone for the time being. SHE ASKS ME out on a Sunday, but I really could not do it so we talk in that evening on the
phone instead and it is just cool/friendly talk.
Late next night I text her for the hell of it and ask her if she wants to meet, and she calls me immediately, "Are you
serious?!?" etc etc, but actually I am not because I have to go see someone else. But we make plans to meet after her
work the next night (just for coffee and say hi because it is 2 am!).
Next night we meet after her work, usual small talk and then holding hands in her car (I walked her to her car and she
drove me to mine in another parking lot). She initiates a kiss. We has planned to meet for lunch the next day, but she
and I agree to play it by ear because it is so late already.
Next day she calls early but my phone was off...I text her when I wake and she calls me immediately. I suggest that I
am too tired and why dont we meet later in the evening and push lunch to later in the week when we won't be so rushed.
She says ok, but I can tell she is pissed. I am kinda pissed at myself after the call because I told her we would go,
and I wasn't keeping my word. So then I start to fuck up...I text her and tell her I changed my mind and let's meet.
She says no. I try calling. Her phone is off. She is avoiding my call. After trying her a few times before lunch I
leave it and call at 11pm that evening. She picks up and tells me I really upset her, she woke up and was ready to meet
and I let her down...I ask her why she didn't answer her phone, e.g. shutting it off was kinda silly - but that only
makes her think I am trying to make it her fault.
Next day I CALL HER (yeah, you can see where this is going!). I suggest we meet later after her work for coffee. She
agrees and I pick a nice casual restaurant (you know, make it up to her by raising the bar above a donut shop). She
meets me and we are holding hands again and she is telling me how before when I used to see her at her work she was
waiting/hoping for me to ask her out for a long time. I tell her I am really shy (in a cocky way) and she doesn't believe me, etc in general I am just trying to have some fun. But the problem is, I am trying too hard to be nice (cuz of standing her up the previous day) and let's face it, I must be starting to come off as an AFC. I walk her to her car and suggest she give me a drive to mine, but she says no, she has to go home and we kiss on the cheek (totally gay!).
Next day she does not text or call so I call her and we wish each other a good weekend (we both have our own plans for the weekend). She does not text all weekend even though we said we would trade a text or two. So on Monday I call her and we talk and since I will be with my friends at her work/bar we know we will see each other later. I am starting to feel like I am coming across needy. When I see her that night, I ask if she wants me to stay until she closes (it is late by the time my friends leave anyway), and she says yes. So when the place quiets down, we have small talk etc. When she closes, she say "I have a migrane".
It is clear she is just going home, making me look like a stupid idiot keeping her company while she was working! I tell her I hoped we could talk (I don't know why - I knew she was blowing me off at least for that night, and worse, it sounds needy, right?). Anyway, she says something like "look, let's just talk tomorrow...why did you stay anyway? we have plans to meet in a couple days anyway..." I am thinking "what the fuck?" so I ask her that question in cleaner language. She says something like, "I just don't know if I feel the same things you say" What exactly did I say??? anyway, she goes on, "Let's just be friends and get to know each other. I want to be loved, and maybe we will fall in love"...I am thinking (and probably saying) "I thought you said you really liked me and wanted me more than a friend" sort of thing...ah fuck it, maybe she is sincere, maybe she is blowing me off, I don't even know and either way, given the events, this is just becoming kinda weird.
Sorry for the long post, but I think knowing the whole story might be helpful in soliciting advice here. In the end, I am all for walking away so to speak, and I am decent enough that if she truly wants to be friends and get to know each other more, whatever, sure I can do that BUT on my terms (e.g. I will meet/call when I have time - i.e. not often) and ensure there is a ZERO needy factor on my part. However, I would genuinely like to know what happened? How/why did things turn so quickly and completely? What can I do in the future with this girl, or any other girl to make sure I don't end up in the same situation? I think this could be a learning experience for me with everyone's wisdom and advice! Thanks,
BigInJapan
What Happened?
