Yep, me and Chessy teamed up again to put in some work.
This time, it was with some MILF we met on Friday night. I've been getting into
these MILFs lately, so much in fact that I have developed a bizarre alter-ego
known as "The MILFlord."
The MILFlord has an elaborate backstory, featuring a whimsical fairy sidekick
named Fairtawn, and he dresses like a low-rent Viking/Barbarian. He even has a
theme song: "I Am the MILFlord," set to the tune of Queen's classic arena-rock
anthem, "We Are the Champions."
The MILFlord was raped at age 12 by his best friend’s mother when he went over
to play video games, and as a result he has developed a pathological condition
that compels him to take on the role of the MILFlord, much as Bruce Wayne must
take to the skies each night as Batman. Every era has a MILFlord, and they don
the sacred horn helmet, take up the enchanted halberd and pill pouch, and are
imbued with mystical powers of delight.
It's really quite disturbing.
So we’re out there in the bar, and the student is in set. He’s doing remarkably
well, and it looks as though he could pull his target if he plays his cards
right. But it’s only midnight, far from “winning time,” and he’s got a long way
An AMOG enters his set and starts in on his girl.
Action time. Chessy goes in and attaches to the AMOG like a leech. Christophe
and I swing through and block him out of the set. Tooled.
However, while this was going on, our student began to stall out, shaken by the
AMOG experience. I explain to him that buying temperature is, unfortunately,
transferable. He appears visibly disturbed. His girl becomes bored and turns to
talk to someone else.
I tell the student that, in order to salvage this, he needs to start talking to
another girl, IMMEDIATELY. I send him back into the set to talk to the girl’s
peer group. “You have to win over the peer group. Go in NOW…”
He just stands there, stunned. So I open the friends for him.
They’re two girls with their backs toward me, sitting at the bar. I tap them,
and they ignore it. I tap them again and yell, “HEY. HEY.” They tentatively
rotate around. I bust out the Friend Zone opener. They respond, but somewhat
icily. I just plow through, and keep my energy and rhythm up, infecting them.
It takes about two minutes, but they finally start smiling and laughing, and
turn around fully.
They’re older chicks, but hot. MILFs. Me and Chessy tag team the shit out of
them, standard game. I tell the hotter one, “You are a MILF.” I get a weird
gleam in my eye. She asks how Chessy and I know each other. I say, “We have the
same ex-girlfriend.” They are intrigued and delighted to hear this, for some
reason. We venue change them to the dirty hipster cokewhore bar up the street.
As I walk by and slap five with the door guy, some demented cokewhore rolls up
on me, emerging from the thick crowd like an ambulatory disaster. This is the
chick from the “Dump Tina” 3LR back in March. Christ, I thought she was hot
back then, but now she just looks like a Sloppy Hoe, something that’s been
sitting out all day, served up in a grade-school cafeteria by a dumpy, bored
lunch lady. The chick staggers up, bellows, “It’s mahh berrffday!” and smacks
me on the side of the head.
I’m shocked, but not surprised, if that makes sense. I retort, “Heyy!! I didn’t
think you’d live this long!” and SLAP her across the face. People around us
stop what they’re doing to observe the spectacle. I go, “Happy birthday,
Jizzy!” and spin her around, twist her right arm up between her shoulder
blades, and give her a nice shove… she goes flying out the front door onto the
street. The door guy just laughs.
The MILF seems disturbed. “What was that?”
I go, “Oh, that’s just some trick me and Chessy banged a while ago. She’s a
fucking train wreck.”
MILFy says, “Interesting. Is that like, your guys’ M.O.? You hunt for chicks to
I just nod and say, “Yeah, pretty much.”
She says, “Here. Let me get your number. I have someone I’m fucking tonight,
but we should hook up soon.”
Are you kidding me? You gotta love these MILFs. No fucking pretense, no
bullshit. We exchange numbers.
Two days later, on Sunday, Chessy calls her up and has her meet us at karaoke.
She gets there and she’s hotter than I remembered. Older, but hotter. So now
it’s vibe time. La la la. She has a wild edge, she is a dancer, she has a dance
studio, but I strongly suspect she’s also a stripper, judging from how she’s
constantly mentioning she’s at various strip clubs throughout the week. Like, I
don’t know if she WORKS there, or just goes there, but regardless, she has a
full stripper vibe to her. StripperMILF.
So yeah, you know what happens next. After a couple of songs, we just extract.
Chessy rides in her car to make sure she doesn’t get lost. God, I love tandem
hunting. It solves so many logistical problems that one person just can’t
handle. Granted, it has it’s cons as well, but really.
Anyway, we get to Club Jeffy, and I put on some music and we just lie down. No
dual induction, it’s unnecessary. Everyone here knows the score. I just start
making out with StripperMILF, and Chessy lies on the other side of her feeling
her up. I start to say something, and the chick actually says, “Shh. No more
talking.” LOL, did I mention you gotta love these MILFs?
Right. It was hot and wonderful. Tender bitches on the nut. The MILF was hot,
except for the stretch marks on her stomach. No matter, I just flipped her over
and fucked her from behind while she moaned into Chessy’s gash. I’m such a
Afterwards, we lie there cuddling for a while. I love this, when you’re
cuddling between two chicks after you’ve fucked them, and some seductive music
is playing, something lush like Duran Duran’s “Save a Prayer,” or “Purple Rain”
by Prince, that kind of shit. I don’t, however, like them to stay the night,
because it gets overly hot and annoying, there’s just not enough room in a
queen-sized bed for three adults and two cats. I’ll be squeezed in there like a
muthfukkin’ sardine and shit, sweating. Maybe I need a bigger bed. I hadn’t
anticipated regular threesomes being a part of my life back when I bought the
damn thing; queen seemed like plenty at the time. But it’s not. So, she gots to
So yeppers, that’s it. The MILFlord and Fairtawn ride again, scorched earth
policy in the realm of Soccermomdia. WeeeOOOOeeeeooooo… ca plane pour moi, as
Christophe might say.
jlaix: Fresh LRs, served up piping hot weekly since August 2002. Man, I’m so
what's the difference between us? we can start at the penis; or we can scream
"i just don't give a fuck" and see who means it.
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