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Player Guide: Simple approaches

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Simple approaches

An example of a simple 2-on-2 approach (ASF): "Hi... my friend isn't from here (introduce friend)... so how do you guys know each other?" You can also use this to approach a larger group. "So how does everyone know everyone else?" Yeah, that line is great... especially when the truth comes out and the guy that THOUGHT he was here on a date finds out he's only HANGING OUT with the girl he wants and she declares herself free for your picking:)"

An example of a pattern-like approach (ASF): "I'm sure that you, like me, have had some really interesting experiences in your life. You know experiences that were incredibly fascinating and absorbing, like maybe when you were a kid and you went to a museum and you just got lost in wonder and delight at what you were seeing. If you were to share a memory about one of your most interesting experiences, a person you met perhaps, or a place you've been, or something you've learned that still holds a deep interest for you, what would it be?"

Another pattern-like approach. Odious, ASF:
""Excuse me (to get her to stop) I just wanted to say thank you."

Her curiosity bells just went DING. She'll almost inevitably ask why, though it is ok if she doesn't. Move into standard mirroring and rapport building techniques as you continue...

"Have you ever had one of those days where, you find yourself feeling sort of aloof... you're not really happy, but not really sad either... you just feel like your adrift. Then suddenly you find you bump into somebody with an incredibly warm and beautiful smile that just makes you feel wonderful for the rest of the day?"

She will almost surely smile more at this point, or give some degree of positive response.

"So, I just had to thank you for brightening up my day... Though, you know it would be a shame if this is the last time I'll see that wonderful smile... what's your name?""

An example of approaching girls in cafeterias with some aspects of patterning. ASF:

  • Walk up from a direction where they can see you coming (I like them to feel like I walked up to them confidently, not like I'm trying to sneak up on them or trick them).
  • Sit down while you say something with a big smile and like you've known them your whole life. It doesn't much matter what you say, but if you say something interesting it makes it easier to continue the conversation (now they have had a state change and are wondering if they know you).
  • Make interesting conversation (use patterns if you know them) while mirroring them. Tell them a little bit about yourself then SMOOTHLY #close.

M: "So, How was you day" (sit down)
H: "Good... how was yours" (This is a very typical response if you were smooth with the intro).
M: "My day was awesome so far (try to match her outlook, if she looks completely down try "pretty good").I had a great day at work, and then one of my closest friends that I hadn't talked to in a while called me. You know how you can just talk to someone and no how long it's been you just _feel_ this great connection with them..."
H: "That's cool, I have a friend like that"
M: "Someone you can really trust, who always makes you feel good to talk to?"
H: "Yeah, I've known her forever"
M: ...
H: ...
M: "I have to go, but I've really enjoyed this conversation, why don't you give me your number and we can talk again"

"How was your day", pacing and rapport building. Anubis, ASF: "If there's nothing particularly interesting about the environment in which you find yourselves, the first sentence or two gives you the perfect opportunity to pace her (this is more what I'd be tempted to do at a party or some social gathering).

Example 1

You walk across to her and, genuinely interested, ask:
"So, how was your day?"
In a fraction of a second she flickers through the events of the day, smiles, and says "Great!" Her smile is infectious and you find yours matching it as you reply.
"Excellent! So was mine. What did you do?"

She's had a great day. You've had a great day. She feels a small (at this stage) degree of rapport and should have little problem sharing her good mood. This leads her into talking about what she did to have such a great day, a list of sentences in which you should find any number of conversational hooks to bite on.

Example 2

You walk across to her and, genuinely interested, ask:
"So, how was your day?"
In a fraction of a second she flickers through the events of the day, sighs, and says "Awful." Her sadness is infectious and you feel an empathic frown flow across your face as you ask "Oh, what happened?"

This then thereotically leads her into talking about what happened, and gives you the opportunity to show her that you can bring her from a pisspoor mood into a happy one. Hear her out. Whereas to fix up our bad moods we (i.e. men) usually look for solutions to the cause, women tend to share their feelings. Once she's unloaded the baggage, you've got rapport. Time to turn her mood around and get her happy. Not easy, but attainable.

Example 3

You walk down to her and, genuinely interested, ask: "So, how was your day?"
She's in a torpor. "Boring."
Looking for a spark of life to flash across her eyes, you continue.
"Oh. In which case, how was yesterday?"
She sighs. "Just as bad."
Medic! We need some 50mg of adrendaline over here, STAT!
You figure it's time to have some fun and, placing your hands apart as if you're measuring a fish, say: "So you're pretty sure you don't feel *this* excited yet?"
She looks, pauses. "No."
You bring your hands closer. "Perhaps you're feeling this excited?"
She can see where you're going. Was that slight muscle-twitch a hint of a smile hastily covered?
"Not really."
You hold up in one hand a very small gap between your thumb and forefinger and, smiling but seriously: "Could you possibly be at the very least, entertaining the thought of considering the likelihood of being *this* excited."

If you can bring a smile to a catatonic, they'll love you for it. Same with angry people. Personally, I enjoy the challenge of making pissed-off people smile."

You look exactly like.... A brilliant opener by Clifford, Clifford's Seduction Newsletter: "My all purpose opener. I look at them as if I recognize them and then I go up and say "Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt you while you are (whatever she is doing), but you look exactly like... you know, it is amazing how much you look like this person... you look just like (as you drag this out you develop rapport immediately, it's great)..."

From here you have to judge her personality. The real ending is "You look exactly like... someone I should get to know better" or "...somebody I would like to meet!" But if you sense that she's uptight or has no sense of humour, go serious with something like " know, the more I look at you the more I realize that you aren't who I thought you were, but I would like to meet you in any event. My name is..."."

The Horoscope. Brother Andy, Clifford's Seduction newsletter:
"Hey, my horoscope today said that I need to make new friends, and as weird as that sounds, I could actually use some new friends. My name is [Myname]"
"Hi, I'm [Cutegirl]"
"It's nice to meet you, [Cutegirl]"
"Well, I'm in a hurry, but if I could get your number so we can sit down and have some lunch one day, that'd be great."
"Okay, sure [Myname], here"

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