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Player Guide: Common misconceptions and problems with patterning

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Common misconceptions and problems with patterning

Disclaimer: Part of the contents/ideas appearing in this section of the Player Guide have been referenced or partially repurposed from Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction® Web Site (free newsletters), courseware products, or seminar recordings. If you find the materials in this section useful, you may want to consider looking into Ross' products, available for purchase from the Official Speed Seduction® Web Site.

An article by Ross Jeffries explaining the most important misconceptions and problems people have with patterning. Ross Jeffries, ASF:

"The following understandings represent ways to clear up the most common misconceptions and problems that students I have talked with typically encounter.

Understanding #1: The Patterns Are Only Examples!
As Major Mark and I have said over and over again in seminars, the patterns sure are wonderful. Whether it's the Blammo, the Blow Job, the tried and true "Discovery Channel" or any one of so many patterns now in the Speed Seduction» ├× material, it is important to realize they are only examples. They are examples of the kinds of communication that open and stimulate a woman to give her the deep emotional and imaginative experiences that she longs for.

Can the patterns, used word for word as we teach them, work for you? Of course! That's what they are designed to do!

But it is equally important to use the patterns as a teaching tool for yourself. To give yourself opportunities to learn about the types of communications that really stimulate women and give them what they really long for.

Think of the patterns as training wheels; when you first learned to ride a bicycle more than likely you did it with FOUR wheels, and NOT two. Once you learned the basics of balance and forward momentum; once you got "the feel" of things, the training wheels were removed and perhaps after a few falls, off you went!

Same with the patterns you'll find in the courses, videos, workbooks and seminars. They are as much tools to train yourself as they are methods to open and stimulate women!

Therefore, as you grow in the use of the materials, you will begin to find you adapt bits and pieces of the patterns in different order and in different ways to fit the individual situation and unique women you are encountering! In fact, you may well begin to create your own! That is a sign you are really at a level of great mastery!

Understanding #2: Getting "Caught" Is Bullshit!
One of the more common challenges new students bring up is the fear of "getting caught". Some students believe that using patterns is somehow like committing some kind of minor crime, like picking a girl's pocket or stealing her purse.

Remember, you can only fear "getting caught" if you view what you are doing as something wrongful or damaging.

What you need to understand is this: using patterns is not taking something away from her. You aren't stealing her wristwatch; you are giving her something wonderful. A chance to experience feelings and emotions and states of mind/body that very, VERY few people can ever give.

You need to believe that what you are offering to give has value, even if at first you aren't the smoothest in the delivery of it.

Look at it like this; if she had polio and YOU had the vaccine, would you feel nervous, guilty or shameful about telling her, "Hey?c'mere?.you really need what I have?".

Well, so many women, no matter how beautiful, are suffering from a disease far worse than polio. It's the disease of the expected?the hum-drum?the "used to that already". And you, my friend with the patterns and the understanding of women they give, are the cure for that and perhaps the only cure she will ever find.

Understanding #3: Gifts, NOT Apologies!
Another incorrect way to view patterns that you are now correcting is that somehow, they are apologies. Ways to make up for something that you are lacking. Ways of saying, "I'm sorry I don't have the looks or the body or the youth or the money that you want, but won't you please accept these pretty words, oh lovely Princess who I don't deserve to be with?"

Well, with THAT kind of attitude, which not only doesn't work but is also inaccurate, NO fancy words will work for you.

Listen?hear?get this understanding: the patterns are NOT ways of making up for what you lack. They are ways of offering women what it is THEY truly long for; the deep, powerful, emotional and imaginative experiences that every woman, deep in the core of her being, really looks and longs for.

It is not that you are making up for lack of looks, youth, money, status, etc. It is that these things may be what women are used to wanting, but are NOT what would really deeply fulfill them. The kinds of communications the patterns offer ARE. What other guys offer is counterfeit; "funny money" that women are used to accepting, because it's mostly the only thing in circulation. Speed Seduction» gives you the genuine article; the pure gold "coin of the realm" instantly recognizable in women's souls and hearts as what they've always truly been looking for.

Understanding #4: Feelings Before Words!
So many students have told me: "Ross, the patterns seem so foreign to me. They just don't seem like they are me."

What's usually going on for these beginners is that the patterns are descriptions of experiences they themselves have never imagined or had. So naturally, they just seem like they are reciting empty words with NO meaning. These poor guys are so focused on memorizing the words, they haven't put any focus into getting some of the feelings.

You see, if you have never had a "peak experience" and haven't even imagined having one, it is pretty hard to sound convincing or to be captivating talking about it. It's just empty words with nothing to back it up. Sort of like the Japanese singing duo from the 70's, "Pink Lady". These two lovely Japanese girls understood not ONE word of English. But they were a big hit on the talk show circuit, singing English songs which they memorized purely by sound, the joke being how they obviously did not understand one single syllable of what they were singing!

The solution here, if this is your problem, is to focus, in the beginning, NOT on memorization, but on imagining for yourself the experiences the patterns describe. Imagine for yourself what it would be like to feel an incredible connection, a peak experience, the excitement and body sensations of "parts" of the Blow Job pattern, etc. etc.

As you read through and listen to patterns, imagine having the experience for yourself, and get at least some of the feelings you want to convey to the women you wish to seduce. Notice I said "some" of the feeling; if you get all of the feelings as intensely as you wish her to feel them, no one will have their hands on the wheel! Just get a bit of the feeling; enough to let that feeling guide the expression of your words.

In this way, the patterns serve to expand who you are. To give you experiences and to cause you to take notice of experiences that before might have gone [Image] completely by. As you expand who you are and how you experience your world, the bonus is you not only become better at patterns, but a more rounded and balanced human being who will naturally be more appealing to women by virtue of who you are and what you experience as well as by the words you know to say! Your success with the material will grow as you grow as a man.

Remember this very important principle: In life, you will not get what you want. You will not get what you "deserve". You will only get what the energies you can create can connect with.

Therefore, learn to create new and different energies for yourself by the experiences the patterns can give to you.

Understanding #5: The Importance Of Themes
If you want to learn to naturally flow from one pattern to the next it is important to understand and use themes.

Themes are simply overall ideas that tie patterns together.

Consider the metaphor of a strand of pearls. The theme is the string that holds together the pearls, which are the patterns.

There are many, many themes which are likely to lead to a successful seduction. Among my favorites are:
*Different places in the mind
*What we are used to wanting; what we THINK we want versus what would truly deeply fulfill us.
*Permission to explore
*Connections(with each other, with those deeper places in the mind, with our dreams, hopes, goals, wishes)
*Indulgence

As you go through the patterns in the course, notice how you can tie them together under one or more of these themes.

One way to look for a theme is to examine a group of ideas or things and see what they overall have in common. For example, in the following list:
* Disneyland
* Magic Mountain
* Sea World
* Six Flags

What are they all examples of? What do they all have in common? Yes, they are all places for fun, rides, attractions, crowds. Those are all elements they share. But overall, they all belong to the category of things called amusement parks.

So when you want to link one pattern with any other, find some overall experience or thing of which they are all examples.

Understanding #6: The Two Ways In Which Patterns Work
20% of the time when you use patterns, a woman will silently sit there, follow along quietly, go exactly into the states and experiences you describe and "poof"; you get banged!

80% of the time, however, the patterns work in a more interesting way.

Consider the metaphor of a pearl, once again. How are pearls made? Are they inserted directly into the oyster?

No; what happens is that a grain of sand gets into the oyster and acts as an irritant. The oyster forms the pearl around the grain of sand as a result of the stimulation caused by the little bit of foreign matter.

In the same way, with brighter, more intelligent and ultimately more suggestible and fun women, the patterns act to stimulate and awaken the deeper structures in her mind that have been laying dormant, asleep and hibernating, or that have been repressed for personal or social reasons. Thus the patterns stir her slumbering structures for fantasy, desire, indulgence, surrender, wild abandon, etc.

What happens when a woman suddenly feels these things awakening? Why, my good man, she does what women so often love to do. She TALKS!

Now, her talking is a good thing. For she is not only giving you solid information; accurate descriptions of her own internal models and maps for what the ideal fantasies, dreams, indulgences and surrendering should be like, but by talking she revivifies and re-awakens all these slumbering things.

So when she talks, LISTEN. Anchor her deeper responses with a touch or a glance or a sound or preferably all three at the same time and FEED back her own "personal trance words" into the standard patterns you have memorized! When you use HER own words, remember she not only doesn't resist, but these words act as signals to further awaken these deeper structures in her mind. You can then link these structures to you and amplify these things and show her how to experience them more vividly, profoundly and enjoyably then she ever has before! That is the key to seduction genius and power!

Understanding #7: How To Practice Pattern Flow
Ideally, you want to be able to flow from any one pattern to any other pattern. Just as in a boxing match, you want to be able to throw combinations instead of one punch every round, so too once you have a woman going with Speed Seduction» you do NOT want to stop until you get your outcum? er? ah? OUTCOME.

Therefore, practicing pattern flow is vital!

One good way is to take the last sentence of any one pattern. Then come up with a linking or transitional phrase like, "It's just like" or "Another thing about that is this" and then the first sentence of the next pattern you want to use. Write these out in long hand and then, most vitally important practice saying these in sequence, out loud, so you know you can transition when you need to.

Do bear in mind that OUT LOUD practice, in the right state, with the right tonality and tempo is VITAL! The patterns are meant to be spoken, not written, so merely writing them is NOT sufficient practice!

Understanding #8: Do NOT Lust For Results!
Speed Seduction» is not just about how you speak; it is a different way of perceiving the world. As such, it takes time to approach mastery. That means the key is to immerse yourself in these learnings. Practice all the time, every day, on as many people as you can. If you reserve your practice ONLY for beautiful women, you make beautiful women the cause of your skill, and THAT is a fatal error!

No, I'm not suggestion you get some disgusting ugly monster hot and horny. I am suggesting that using your skills to make virtually everyone you come in contact with feel much better than before they met you IS a good thing to aim at!

Above all, be patient with yourself. Learning takes place on many levels, and it can take some time, some stumbling and some plain fucking it up to get good.

But so what? You learned to walk and learned to read and write and that took plenty of trial and error. We are talking about a lifetime of results and enjoyment here!

Now, every once in a while, a student will tell me he has memorized every single pattern but hasn't tried a single one as much as once in the real world! And I must inform you if you are potentially such a person that you don't really understand Speed Seduction» until you've gone out and done it!

If you aren't willing to stumble a little bit?..to undergo SOME discomfort, however slight, to get what you want in life, then how will ANY woman with ANY judgement at all find you attractive no matter WHAT words you say? If you care so little for your own life and happiness that you won't take a SINGLE step to improve your lot, then nothing I can teach you to SAY will help you one bit. NO woman would find such a man attractive.

So get up off your lazy, self-pitying, sorry ass, IF this describes you, and make a vow to work at making the material work. If you want everything handed to you on a platter, you are going to wait forever and get nowhere! USE THE ENCLOSED MATERIALS, GROW UP, and be willing to be an adult who will fight for what he wants instead of a spoiled child who waits for Mommy or Daddy to give it to him without cost! We've blazed a trail and smoothed the path and lit it up and marked it clearly; if there is an occasional pebble you have to step on, so fucking what! Get your ass moving!"

The various levels of NLS or Neuro Linguistic Seduction (which is what patterning seems to be called on Mindlist). By Zachary D. Marcy, Mindlist:

"I have been practicing NLP for about 3 years now. I have just stepped into my own since being on this list and being a student of Kenrick Cleveland. In this time period I have ran into an abundance of guys that are at different skill levels and stages in their lives with NLS. I wrote down several of them (including the ones I have experienced which seems to be all but a few). See if you can identify yourself with any or several of these stages and also write down what you think you can do to improve on them. I will try to give an example of each as I type them, but I don't want to be here all night so I may just ask you to ... USE YOUR MIND... to REALIZE... which stage I am refering too. Now, without furthur ado:

  • Excited about NLS but Lost - Remember when you first saw all the advertising about SS and NLS? How-open eyed you were and how all of your ideas for what you could do with this stuff ran wild.
  • Skeptical about NLS but Lost - Remember after you read your first pattern and wondered "how in the HELL could I start to talk to a woman like this?"
  • Diligent about NLS but Lost - You can't figure out why you keep doing these exercises about mirroring and matching etc... but you do... This is a GOOD stage, it makes the success worth it!
  • Computer Success but Lost IRL (in real life) - I didn't go through this much. Alex Akselrod knows about this stage...ask him about it.
  • Telephone and computer success but lost IRL - I did go through a success on telepersonals stage where I was too chicken shit to take in patterns in real life.
  • Stuck on one line and one pattern (not flexible) - this has a ton to do with memorizing patterns!
  • Some Success but not repeatable - You have some how managed to get a few success' using a few ideas and patterns and just haven't been able to repeat them. This usually comes when you are being selective and you aren't that flexible yet.
  • Some Success and ONLY repeatable with some types of women - most of the time the success was dumb luck. I use to have this problem a bit too. I managed to get a few patterns and ideas that worked well with certain types of women and I just used those and that was it. This was the second stage I expereinced with NLS. The first was no 1 and I next went to this stage. It was hard for me too. I ran into a rut where I didn't meet women that fit this type that I had originally set in my mind and I almost threw NLS out of the door. I am glad I was persistent with it!
  • Playing the odds game - you approach 10 women and get one. I was always too picky from the start to do this. Now, understand, this is GREAT practice.
  • Snagging Many (approaching about a 60-70% success rate) - remember SUCCESS is defined by YOUR desired outcome! Not my definition of success!
  • Doing Great and Being Picky (going for types) - THIS is where was about 3 months ago. I liked this stage in my NLS career!
  • Just Flat out picky and not using NLS on any women unless they fit your criteria - here is where I am currently at. It's odd, I figured I would like this stage! I really don't ... I am going back to being a huge flirt again!
  • Find and NLS the Girlfriend and yet you cheat on her - This is a saftey girl... you can do this with just dating a girl too. Unfortunantly, I went through this phaze a while ago.
  • Find the GirlFriend type and get her - I belive this is what I am currently searching for... where the hell is she?
  • Find the ONE to marry - DO WHAT? OK OK... so I have heard several success stories similar to this one. I am young and have a full life ahead of me. I am not looking into this... YET.
  • Using NLS to make your marriage work or make it better - ask someone who knows.
  • Using NLS to make your relationship better - It worked for me and my ex. It also made me realize who I didn't want to be with.

Realize that these ARE NOT in any order per se. Most of them are just various stages on relatively the same plain. This may give you goals to strive for or just idea of where you are currently at. It might give you application that you haven't realized before... but you realize your application now."

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