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The Art of the Pickup : Are You Trying To Start A War Or Get A Girl?

"Are You Trying To Start A War Or Get A Girl?" / February 4th, 2008

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Are You Trying To Start A War Or Get A Girl?
by Jay Valens of The Art of the Pickup
February 4th, 2008

We’re not in a vacuum. I’m sure you’re aware of other pickup information resources on the market, but much of it seems to take the stance that there is a war between the sexes and men seeking to be more successful with women should take an adversarial stance.

I see words bandied about like "attack", "add to your arsenal", "secret weapon", “power over women”, “nuclear”, “magic bullet»”, “annihilation”…….

Hey, I’m guilty of occasionally using this kind of language. Part of it is due to laziness and trying to get a point across but it sets the wrong tone.

How will women be drawn to you if your mentality is that you’re at war with them?

It’s more like an orchestrated dance. It has to spawn from the desire to have mutual enjoyment and pleasure, that’s what will draw a woman in.

In this dance, you must lead. Leading doesn’t involve stepping on her toes. If you step on your own toes, you need more practice. If you step on her toes, you need more poise. If she steps on your toes… it’s funny.

Think of the steps dancing takes – you initiate, then taker her by the hand and lead her. You lead the dance. But it’s in-step and you don’t rush the final twirl at the beginning steps. You ensure that you display your skill through action and now words. You appreciate her as your partner and you are just as much there to ensure she has fun just as much as she is there for you to have fun with.

This is really a simple concept. There’s nothing specific about it that I can provide in advice, it is merely a better frame of thinking when pursuing women. By avoiding an adversarial stance, and thinking in mutual terms, seeing it as a dance, you will be much better prepared to make progress.

Remember, war is the refuge of those with 2 left feet.

Jay Valens

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