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The Art of the Pickup : How To Make a Woman Obsess Over You

"How To Make a Woman Obsess Over You" / July 2nd, 2007

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How To Make a Woman Obsess Over You
by Ray Devans of The Art of the Pickup
July 2nd, 2007

I am sure the title of this newsletter got your attention. First let me say that there are many ways to get a woman to be obsessed with you, but today I will be discussing only one. Also, if you have our DVDs already, you probably know from first hand experience how using all the techniques together can make women go somewhat crazy over you.

But the next thing to say for those who haven’t had a woman obsess over you: be careful what you wish for. I basically no longer use any of the things that I know make women obsessed with me, it is really more trouble than it is worth unless you are pretty sure you want to have a really long term relationship with them. And honestly it is a bit cruel when you break up with them afterwards.

All this being said I know there are those of you whose goal is just to get one really high quality woman and stay with her for a very long time. And for the rest of you, using less intense versions of what I will discuss can still be good for getting initial attraction. So with this background out of the way, let’s jump right in.

The basics of the method are that you make a woman work to meet your expectations that you maintain for her and women in general. It is just that simple, but of course the implementation is more detailed.

There are many psychological principles that are at work when you make someone work hard to accomplish something. It almost doesn’t matter what the job is, people who have worked hard at something tend to value the experience greatly after the fact. Also, people tend to value things they had to work very hard to get much more than things that came easily to them. In this case, by making a woman work hard to meet your expectations to get or keep you, she values much more than the guy who just falls for her with no effort on her part.

The other psychological principle is that people with a great deal of choice tend to be more discriminating and demanding than those who have little choice. Women know this and will infer from your maintaining high standards for them that you have a great deal of choice of what women you can date. This thus increases your value, and since it is rare that men do this, you are a rare find.

The third principle is that most people love challenges, and as long as you maintain certain standards then they will enjoy trying to meet those standards.

Now let’s look at an example of using this to simply get a woman attracted early on. Let’s say you have just met her and you are talking over coffee. You can simply ask her, “Are you an adventurous and open minded person? Because I really never enjoy people who are closed to new ideas and trying new things.” This expectation says all the right things. Even if a woman considers herself to be not so adventurous, she is still likely to try to be more adventurous around you.

It helps to actually create a list of the things that you really do expect or prefer in women, and actively screen for them. We go into greater detail on this in our “Art of the Pickup»DVDs. Remember to screen for character traits and things she can change or do, not physical traits. So for example, you DON’T want to say “Do you have D-cups? Cause I really like girls with big knockers!”

Now, to get a woman really obsessed over a longer term, set her much bigger challenges and expectations. This again usually is more effective once you know you have her strongly attracted and usually once you are already in a sexual relationship with her.

An example would be having her learn how to cook or do massage for you by taking classes. If she is a second generation American (example Italian American) but she only speaks English, you might challenger her to learn the language of her grandparents. If she doesn’t have a college education, you might insist she get one.

Again, these may sound pretty harsh, but also notice that they also all result in making her improve herself. It helps if you are involved in some part of the process, not just an outside observer.

I have seen this stuff in action and it tends to make women totally devoted to their men. And as I said above, if you also make it something that improves her, then you are doing something good for her at the same time.

Challenging you to challenge women,

Ray Devans

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