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The Art of the Pickup : Practice

"Practice" / December 7th, 2006

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by Jay Valens of The Art of the Pickup
December 7th, 2006

More than a decade ago I was still a young lad and working at a college job. It was a small printing place and one of the guys I worked with, D, really had a great handle on women. He always seemed to know what to say and when to say it to get a good reaction.

I wish I paid attention to him more but I did learn a few things from observing, stuff that ended up only making sense to me years later.

Keep in mind this guy was not winning any beauty awards. He was average height, out of shape, barely ever seemed to shave, and his personality sometimes had the oh-so-supple texture of sandpaper. But he had a great sense of humor and was never afraid to say what he needed to say or do something necessary to get the positive attention of a girl.

One day we’re taking a break and walking down the street to get some lunch. We walked by this terribly unattractive older and overweight woman and as she was walking by us I saw Danny’s body language» and tone vibe the way he does when he is going to talk to a pretty girl.

He put on a big smile and greeted her enthusiastically and said “Hi!” as if he was interested to meet her.

I was surprised because I literally thought he was interested in her, that’s how he came across. Not that there’s anything “wrong” with unattractive older overweight women, but I’m sure this is not the type of women men of us are seeking.

Her reaction was not so positive. In fact, she did her best to obviously ignore him.

After she passed by, I asked him about it and why he did that.

He said, “Someone like her needs to take every chance she can get to return a nice gesture!”

I then asked “Yeah, but why did YOU try to start talking to her that way if you weren’t interested?”

He responded with one word, very enthusiastically with a big smile: “PRACTICE!”

Of course. Why hadn’t that thought crossed my mind until that moment?

We as men tend to only pursue that which we desire and see little reward in putting time into anything we feel will not result in something positive for ourselves. It’s in our nature. But this nature burns us in the long run when we avoid doing things simply because we think we will get stuck in an unappealing outcome.

The reality is, if we control the interaction, then we control the outcome.

We decide how far it will go.

With that power, we have available to us the most powerful tool in learning how to attract women: practice.

Until that day I had not realized that D was more a product of his environment and past behaviors than simply being good with women as if by magic or luck.

The guy just out-and-out was “on” all the time and saw every opportunity of interaction with people as a way to improve himself.

I hadn’t noticed it until that moment, because it was such an unexpected action. After that, I started noticing he would do this in subtle ways with people all throughout the day, day after day, and when I saw this only one word popped in my mind:


Jay Valens

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