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The Art of the Pickup : She Only Cares about What SHE Thinks of YOU

"She Only Cares about What SHE Thinks of YOU" / September 7th, 2006

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She Only Cares about What SHE Thinks of YOU
by Jay Valens of The Art of the Pickup
September 7th, 2006

Do you think a woman really cares how much any random man is interested in her?

She might make herself pretty, dress sexy to attract attention, and sure seems like she’s very interested in having men attracted to her.

But if a man does show interest in her, is that what makes her interested in HIM?

If that were true, so many women would be unable to control their attraction to nearly every man around them.

Think about the last time you were interested in a woman and pursued her in a way you thought was productive but still did not successfully engage her enough to have something with her…

You did your best to find ways to spend time with her. Always said nice things to her. Helped her constantly with things (gave her rides, fixed her computer or car). Took her out for meals and paid for those meals, bought gifts for her.

One day you may have even mustered up enough gumption to cut to the chase and tell her how much you’re interested in her. To which she replied with an awkward “I don’t think of you that way” response.

Well … did it work?

Of course not. Because if it did, instead of reading this newsletter you’d be out doing undeserved favors for some hottie.

Still, even though such efforts had proven fruitless for you, I have no doubts it’s may have been a common experience for you, possibly happening many times in your life.

So why do you keep doing it? Only 3 possible reasons:

* You weren’t aware there’s another way.
* You might have realized something needs to change but didn’t know HOW.
* You know how, but it takes time to change a long-term behavior.

For those in the know, good for you – stop reading and keep practicing to change your behavior to be more consistently productive.

For the rest of you, I can presume you’ve come to the point of realizing there IS another way.

Which leaves us with “HOW?”

Wow, I really put the pressure on for this mail.

Well, to start, I can’t make “HOW” concise enough to fit into a single email but I can get to the gist of what certainly doesn’t work and why it doesn’t work and we’ll cover more in future emails :)

If I were to say “A woman isn’t interested in how interested a man is in her”, I would not be fully correct. She DOES care how interested a man is in her IF he is a man she’s interested in.

This is a big clue for you.

You can’t MAKE a woman interested in you by being interested in her. She must be interested in you before you display too much of your own interest. Too much in most cases = any at all.

Your interest in her may flatter her, but it won’t, on its own, attract her.

In fact, if a woman is not attracted to you “in that way”, then the MORE you display your interest, especially with unwarranted actions like doing her favors, and buying her gifts, the less likely she will EVER be attracted to you “in that way.”

She will ONLY be interested in how attracted she is to you, and the key I want you to remember, the very simple logic is:

You can’t make her attracted to you by using displays of your interest to her. You should focus on BECOMING more attractive to her in ways that have nothing to do with displaying your interest in her.

Now, to learn how to be more attractive to women, you can wait for more “Pickup Arts” newsletters or pick up your copy of “The Art of the Pickup»”.

Making more women care more about you,

Jay Valens

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