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The Art of the Pickup : What Lack of Patience Communicates To Women

"What Lack of Patience Communicates To Women" / May 27th, 2007

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What Lack of Patience Communicates To Women
by Ray Devans of The Art of the Pickup
May 27th, 2007

“The well fed man always keeps his table manners.”

I like this quote, which I just came up with in order to help illustrate the point of this newsletter. If we equate hunger for food to the desire to have sex, then this quote nicely sums up how I believe a man should act around a woman.

You see, the average guy has a killer desire for sex, and while this is very natural, displaying it too overtly with a lack of patience is the wrong thing to do in 95% of cases.

It is a delicate balancing act that a man has to do, but you have to sub-communicate to women under the surface that you want and expect that you will be having sex with her, but if this message becomes too overt at any time it backfires.


Back we go to the food example. If you are starved for food, I mean really salivating, slobbering on yourself desperate to eat type starvation, it is going to be obvious to all around you. You will be like a walking sign saying “I AM NOT GETTING ANY FOOD AND I NEED SOME NOW!”

People will come to their own conclusions about why you are not getting any food. Maybe you are homeless, destitute, a criminal, etc. Obviously these are not good associations.

In a case like this, most people will shy away from giving you food outside of anything but pity. And if they did give you some food they would be unlikely to want to stay around and eat with you as you would probably be scarfing it down like a madman showing no care for manners.

Now take the analogy to interaction with a woman. If you show a lack of patience and seem to be angling too hard for sex, it will be like you are shouting “I AM NOT GETTING ANY SEX AND I NEED SOME NOW!”

She will be thinking on either a conscious or subconscious level, “Why is this guy so desperate for sex, is there something wrong with him? Maybe he is bad in bed, or something else?” She might also think that if you are so desperate then the sex will be an unpleasant experience for her as you will likely be in a hurry, much like eating with the starved man in our example above.

Instead by showing patience, even to the point of being the one who slows down the action, you will make her wonder the opposite. “This guy must be very good with women, he must have his choice of women and that is why he is in no hurry with me. I hope he likes me, I bet he is slow and good in bed too…”

Now, just in case you think this applies only to how you proceed sexually with a woman, realize that you need to show patience and control in general around women.

Let’s say you are behind a slow driver on the street. If you are yelling and cussing at him to get moving, she will equate that lack of patience to the same lack of patience in bed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing, lack of patience outside of the bedroom will be equated to lack of patience inside the bedroom by women.

There is a great story that you might have heard that also sums up the message of this newsletter.

Two horny bulls are standing at the top of a large hill, a young bull and an old bull.

They look down the hill and see lots of cows grazing in the green fields below.

The young bull says with excitement to the old bull, "Lets run down this hill and have sex with one of those cows!"

The old wise bull turns to him and calmly says, “No… let’s walk down the hill and have sex with them all."

So there you have it, be the smart bull and always move smoothly and patiently with women.

The only place I advise against patience is when it comes to getting better with women. And a great way to do that is through our “The Art of the Pickup»DVDs. In these DVDs you will see the men maintain control and patience at all times, no matter what crazy things women say or do to them. All you have to do is watch them and copy what they are doing exactly.

For those readers still unsatisfied with their progress with women, get impatient and get your copy of “The Art of the Pickup»DVDs now.

Your patient coach,

Ray Devans

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