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The Art of the Pickup : You Da Man!

"You Da Man!" / September 18th, 2006

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You Da Man!
by Ray Devans of The Art of the Pickup
September 18th, 2006

I want you to know something, something very important. It’s a secret I need to tell you, and you have to understand that it’s absolutely true.

That secret is: YOU ARE THE MAN!!!

OK, maybe you already knew this, and so it wasn’t really a secret for you. If so, pat yourself on the back, you have a good self image. If not, and this was news to you, join the club.

The fact is tough, a lot of us walk around all day not really feeling like THE MAN. Its kind of more like, we see plenty of other guys on TV who seem to qualify as THE MAN, and we have some friends who are THE MAN, but us personally, we feel more like “A” man, or a “MAN”, or a man, or just some dude…

And even those of us who sometimes feel like THE MAN also have times where we just don’t feel confident about our selves at all.

An interesting question to ask yourself is: what would it feel like if I could feel like THE MAN all the time? How would I be acting, how would my life be different?

I think it is fair to say that your life would be pretty awesome. You would have no problem approaching the women you desire because you know that they know, that you know that they know you are the man and so of course they will want you! And so your approaches would be flawless due to this ultimate feeling of confidence, so you would have success with all the women you approach, and you would feel even more like THE MAN, and you would have a self fulfilling prophecy of being THE MAN.

OK, back to reality for a while. The question we have to ask is how can I feel like THE MAN as much as possible. It’s not realistic to expect to always feel that awesome, but it’s a great goal to strive for.

There are a lot of ways to work on this, including things like working out, improving your appearance, etc. But most of them would be external things, so here I want to instead focus on the internal aspect. You have to work on convincing yourself, despite any shred of evidence to the contrary, that you are indeed THE MAN.

But how, you are asking?

Well, perhaps the simplest and most powerful way is to reprogram yourself by changing the way you talk to yourself in your thoughts.

What a lot of people don’t realize is that they are to some extent like robots that have been programmed by external factors like friends, family, and society in general to have a certain self image. If your parents told you that you would never amount to anything, or your friends were not very supportive of your efforts, or a girl you tried to talk to in junior high school told you that you were ugly, then chances are you retain pieces of this in your mental programming.

If the first thing that goes through your head when you see a pretty woman is something like “wow, she is so beautiful, she would never go for a guy like me” then you know immediately that you have some negative mental programming.

It shouldn’t have to be that way. Think about how you felt when you read the sentence above telling you that you are THE MAN! Did it somehow make you feel a little better? It is amazing that we are always waiting for someone else to tell us how we should feel about ourselves, and accept their verdicts, positive or negative. Your goal from now on is to be the ONLY source of how you feel about yourself, and to only allow yourself to feel positively.

Ask yourself right now how often you tell yourself something positive about yourself during the day. How often you actually allow yourself to feel confident in your abilities? Then compare this to how often you worry about things in a given day, how often you tell yourself something negative about yourself.

The goal is to always be positive in your thoughts.

This can take some practice at first, and a great way to get in the habit is to start saying affirmations. The idea of saying affirmations was first popularized by Emile Coue, who encouraged people to repeat the phrase “day by day, in every way, I am becoming better and better”.

It takes very little effort to do, and very little time. You could say this to yourself while you are in line waiting to buy your groceries. If there are no cute women around to talk to, you don’t have anything better to do after all!

You can customize your affirmations to hit certain areas that you have problems with. You can make it outrageous, it doesn’t matter, the key is to have fun telling yourself how awesome you are. Chances are your self talk has been more negative than positive for a very long time, so you are going to have to be all the more positive to make up for that lost time.

Go ahead, tell yourself that women are dying to meet you, tell yourself that you are THE MAN. Don’t believe it at first? Just realize that you are reprogramming yourself little by little, and allow yourself to believe it IN SPITE OF YOURSELF!

There are two key takeaways from this newsletter. The first is to always catch yourself when you are talking negatively to yourself, and turn it into a positive. The second is to actively come up with affirmations and say them to yourself at designated times, or when you just have nothing better to do while you are waiting for something. But there is a lot to learn about affirmations, so I encourage you to research the subject a bit more.

They are a sample of the amazing guided affirmations tracks that you can find on “The Art of the Pickup»DVD set. These should give you a really good idea of what affirmations are and how they should be said. They will help take some of the guesswork out of the process.

The full versions of the affirmations on “The Art of the Pickup»DVDs are said by a professional voice talent with just the right tone and inflection to help you truly believe and respond to the affirmations. They are also said in first and second person and with varying intensities on different tracks so that you can program your mind in powerful different ways. I use them myself before going out, and I have never heard anything more motivational for that purpose

And remember, YOU DA MAN!

Your positive self-talking friend,

Ray Devans

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