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Lay Report: Kickin‘ it Effy Stylee

mASF post by effigyc

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Lay Report: Kickin‘ it Effy Stylee
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mASF post by "effigyc"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, April 4, 2005

Not a whole lot of tactics or routines here. Just being natural and vibing. A
few things learned, though.

I went out to $1 drink night, and opened the first chick I saw by bumming a
cigarrette off her. She smokes Pall Malls, and I made some crack about this.
She says it's just a northern thing. Turns out she's from Boston, and came
down for school, majored in Psych.

Why do all girls major in Psychology?

HB: Well, I did it to figure out boys.

We're pretty easy to figure out, take it from me.

HB: Yeah, I've pretty much decided it's like " Sandwiches, Sex, and TV."

Don't forget video games.

HB: Oh my god! I'm still stuck on 2-D video games. I still can't beat Super

Oh my god! I can't talk to you. You're a dork.

HB: I am. I read a lot of books and everything.

Really? What are you reading.

( we talk books for a while. She likes pop horror stuff like Steven King and
Dean Koontz )

Somehow the topic of Italy gets brought up, and we talk about traveling.
She's traveled much more me, been to all kinds of places in Africa, etc. I
her she must be rich and ask if she wants to be my sugar momma. This gets
a life, but she insists she's just a poor college kid. Kind of begs the

How did you afford to send yourself to Italy?

HB: well, I used to be a dancer for private parties.

Yipes. So you do a little of the yayo?

HB: I used to, but I'm off it now. ( maybe. maybe not, I think.)

We talk a little more about movies and music, or whatever comes to mind. I

You know, I can barely hear you. You wanna go have a seat on the couches

HB: Ok.

She tells her friend ( who's luckily completely entraced by some other dude)
that she's headed downstairs. We move downstairs and I run Strawberry
Fields on her. I'm also getting kino on her legs and hands. Which she's NOT
reciprocating, but I learned that it doesn't matter if she touches you back as
long as she's letting you touch her. This opens to door to more sexual
questions. She says she really hasn't had very many partners ( don't believe
her), but says she's been asked to join numerous threesomes. Thus topic of
lesbians gets brought up and how she doesn't really like other girls. Then
she wants me to pick one celeb I'd be gay for. WTF? This has got to be the
weirdest shit test I've ever heard. She's really insistent on it too. I mean,
WANTS to know, and want let me just blow it off. So finally I say:

Ok, I've got it. Hugh Heffner. Cuz a) he's old, and he can't get it up, and
I'm at the Playboy Mansion, baby, yeah!

HB: Lol, but I bet he's got viagra, and five blondes to help him get it up.

Well, then I'm having an orgy with five blondes, so fair trade I guess.

Her friend and the guy she was talking with come downstairs to check on her.
They talking abit, and I REALLY need to piss so I excuse myself to get another
beer. As I'm in the bathroom, I'm thinking to myself "Ok, I need to escalate.
Let's kiss her. But she isn't touching me at all, and so far we've just been
having a friendly conversation." I'm thinking that I need to DO something in
order for her to kiss me, but I don't know what. It also hasn't been very long
that we've been talking to eachother. I thinking I need more time. And as of
tonight I'm convinced that waiting for signs and feeling like I need
reciprocated kino or some kind of IOI is BULLSHIT. Go for it. Be a man. Put
yourself out there and take a risk. Woodhaven's right, btw, time is NOT a
factor. If she digs you, she digs you. Period. So I zip up my fly, purchase
ice cold Coors Light, and had back to claim me some sweet, sweet loving.

When I come back some random dude is sitting there talking to her. I don't
use any fancy AMOG tactics here, I just sit down next to her where I was.
Introduce myself to the dude. Say "nice to meet you," then put my arm
around her and just start talking to her again. I think I say "God, it's so
easier to get drinks when you're a girl!" Dude bounces in a matter of
milliseconds. We laugh at him.

I ask her if she thinks I'm cute. This is something I've been doing lately,
I've now decided it's pretty useless except that it boosts your self-esteem. (
my favorite reply to this so far has been "Oh HELL yes, sweetie!" )
The reason I've decided it's useless, though, is because no matter how much
the chick likes you, she will NEVER make the first move. Being aggressive like
that just isn't part of her concept of feminine sexuality. You're the man, you
have to initiate everything.

Anyways her friend and her guy are now making out on the couch. I take my
finger, put it under her chin, and tilt her head up to mine. Makeout ensues.

She starts voicing objections here. "This so tacky" "I'm told old to be
hooking up in bars" I pretty much ignore them and keep kissing her. I some
point she says she doesn't like one night stands. I don't either, really,
(although they beat jerking off) so I say:

Yeah, me neither. I want to meet someone that I can be comfortable with,
and just enjoy being around. Enjoy hanging out with, and doing things we
both like to do. The sex is just the icing on the cake. It's so hard to meet
those people, and you meet them in strangest places.

Or something like that. She agrees, and we make out some more. Then
some friends of hers from school show up. Introductions go around. The
girls do their crazy drunk co-ed thing. ( one of them hops up on a table and
kicks some little plastic shot thingies across the room. Effigyc quickly jumps
into action and saves his Coors Light.) My girl is leaning against me, and
we're making out occasionally, but she and her friends keep trying to sing
along to songs they don't know the words too.

Luckily, the new girls all have guys with them too. And these dudes are
getting just about as sick of this shit as I am. One jumps on the table to
grind with the drink kicker, the other pulls his girl into his lap, and mines
and undivided attention. The original friend and her dude haven't stopped
making out through all this. (Great wings, eh?)

So we're making out again. I try to get my girl to sit on my lap, but she
objects. "I'm too old to be doing that" ( shes only 25, btw). Once again,
of my miracle wings comes to the rescue, and pulls his chick into his lap. My
girl actually says "Well... as long as she's doing it..." WTF? Chicks, man.
So I
get her in my lap, we kiss, I slap her ass, kiss her boobs, all is right with

Last call. I don't remember the logistics of all of this so well, so bear with
My chick has a pet snake, which I expressed interest in seeing. By the time
last call rolls around, I pretty sure I'd already mentioned that I could give
a ride home, and homegirl is well into the "should I, or shouldn't I" stage.
fact she's pretty much decided that she wants to (no crazy techniques here,
just some necking and ear nibbling). Now she's worried about her original
friend ( her ride ), and it's time for the girls to all make sure everyone's
everyone's phone numbers and is going to be alright and is absolutely sure,
blah, blah, blah. Really not much I can do here except cross my fingers, and
I'm getting a little worried. The dude keeping her friend busy all night wants
to take her home, but it turns out she's a good Christian girl and doesn't do
that. He's getting a bit overly persistent, and my chicks on emergency stand
by. Everything works out ok, though, and homegirl decides she wants to take
me home. Her friend comes over to screen me:

Friend: Be good.

I will.

Friend: Don't hurt her, or I'll kick your ass. I'm a blackbelt in karate.

Are you really? That's awsome!

Friend: Yeah, I've taking Karate for ?? years, so I'll kick the crap out of
you if
you're not good.

I'll be good. Pinkie swear.

(we pinkie swear and she laughs. Friend befriended.)

So me the HB walk back to my car, and she needs to stop on the way to her
place to get more cigarettes. I now have a new problem. My condoms are at
my place, and I can't say anything or buy them in front of her for fear of
having to battle yet more ASD. Granted she may be on the pill or something,
but I'd rather play it safe. So we pull over to the gas station. I ask her if
rather me go get the cigarrettes. Nope, she says she'll get them herself.
Crap. Ok, she gets back to the car, and I say "hang tight, I need a soda." I
into the store buy a Dr. Pepper and get the condoms slipped across the
counter while she waits in the car. I wonder if I even needed to go through
this. Would my buying condoms trigger hardcore ASD. Probably. Anyway,
turned out later I didn't even need to by them, but oh well...

We get back to her place. I open the condoms and hide the box in my shoe
while she's in the bathroom. She comes out, more kissing and dry humping
ensues. I go for the tits. She pushes my hand way at first, a few minutes
later it's ok to play with them through her shirt. She got one of those shirts
that ties up in front of her boobs so I untie it for easier access ( cuz she
let me take it off yet ) she has a few objections "I thought we didn't like
night stands" and " You know this is a bad idea " I agree and escalate. Text
book. Shirt comes off, I play with boobies ( Yay! ). All the while, I've been
using Playboy LA s technique of reaching around her ass to rub her puss. No
resistence at all. Crazy. She lays down on her back though, and as soon as I
rub her from the front, she announces it's time for bed. I am, of course,
welcome to sleep next to her.

In the bed I'm fondeling her boobs, and kissing her neck. Rubbing her ass,
etc. She's whining and objecting, but not stopping me, so I keep going.
She's laying on her side with her legs together, so it's hard to rub her puss,
but I can a little. Finally, I get my hands in her undies, and I'm rubbing her
from behind. She's starting to moan a little, and her objections change from
"We are so not having sex tonight" to "we are so not having sex tonight
because you don't have any condoms." Her legs open a bit and I start to
finger fuck her. ( I tried Jlaix's "I wanna lick it" line, but she honestly
like people going down on her) I get her on her back, and I'm sitting down by
her ass with two fingers in her. She got her panties down to her knees, but
won't let them go any further, because she thinks I'm trying to fuck her ( Not
without a condom, blah blah blah. We don't have any condoms, moan, moan,
moan). However, at this point, I'm so engrossed in trying to find her G spot
or that deep spot David Shade talks about that I'm not even thinking about
fucking her. It got kind of frustrating, I wanted to say "Will you spread your
legs already! This is for science, damnit!"

Anyways, I tell her I can do it better if she takes her panties off and spreads
her legs. She does. She getting pretty wet, and my fingers are getting tired.
Then guess what she does. She rolls over to the nightstand, opens a drawer,
and takes out a pack of condoms. Chicks, man.

She wants me inside her, I oblige. Unfortunately, I didn't last too long. I
her off with my fingers ( tried eating her out, she honestly didn't like it),
still feel kind of bad. Any tips on stamina guys?

If you question anything, question
your limitations.

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "effigyc" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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