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My shit tests for chicks

mASF post by Vince

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My shit tests for chicks
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mASF post by "Vince"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2004

Hot redhead with tattoos mentions she doesn't cook. I say, "Okay, let's sum
up: She's ugly [NOT, and she was HSE enough to know I was kidding]! And
there's that appalling skin condition [checking her neck, then saying in a
cutsey voice] what are those, freckles? AND she can't cook! [beseeching the
room] what's to like?!!!" The jaw dropped, blown away expressions of the
guys at the table were priceless. The redhead was in stitches!

Scrumptious brunette, very curvy, in a skirt slit up to her thighs. "You
know who you remind me of? My bratty sister when she was about 12!" "Tell
that blonde next to you to cover up her knobby knees!"

Blonde wearing short/shorts (no, her knees are not knobby) says, "My leg
hurts!" I say, "You should do stretching should walk for should have sex in strange positions for exercise!" She
says, "Just to stretch it!" I say, "Yeah, just the leg, though!"

Same brunette, as a guy blows her a kiss. She asks, "Why did you do that?"
He says, "Because I LUUUUV you!" I tell her, "No, it's because he's an
AFC -- Average, Frustrated Chump." Then I tell him the same thing. He

Very hot chick says she might go to a gay bar. I tell her, "Gay guys have
sex with women all the time! Hell, I know a bunch of pickup artistswho
PRETEND they're gay! "Gee, I've never kissed a girl before!" Next thing you
know, the girls are screwing 'em without a condom!" Later, she approaches
me, kino's me and tells me where she lives. I'm too disinterested to pursue
the point. She'll be back, as she's in the social group I'm circulating

Small person (i.e. midget), but very cute: "Tall guys get asked, all the
time, "Do you play basketball?" Tell me something -- do you play miniature
golf?" It was a throwaway line, as the convo was fast and furious, so she
never responded to the question at the time.

I swear to God, I do this shit all the time!


Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2004 by "Vince" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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