mASF post by "TheDatingWizard"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005Cocky and Funny when done right conveys a certain ATTITUDE, it's projecting a
certain IDENTITY about yourself that simultaneously conveys value and also that
you are fun guy, which is actually value as well. i.e. as all the cocky
characters from David D's example of Han Solo's deadpan "I know" reply to the
Princess saying she loves him (in a really serious situation before he's frozen
in carbonite, he maintains total cocky control over himself) and the FUNNY part
coming simultaneously never leaves her feeling an unpleasant taste in her
mouth.
A cocky and funny comment can easily just say that YOU are hot stuff without
necessarily saying SHE is crap, or without necessarily lowering her value.
Negs don't at all necessarily leave her smiling.
Really, a neg is a candy-coated PUTDOWN so she can't tell how bad it is right
away.
The purpose is more to bring a bitchy girl down to earth, or a girl who thinks
she's higher above you.
It's NEGATIVE, it's about bringing HER down.
I think this is why cocky and funny is so popular, it's kind of a healthier
feels good all around kind of style.
Which is not to say that negs don't work, but to me
the way you get to the destination is just as
important as the destination itself.
If getting abusive is neccessary to get a girl,
then chances are that's the way she works, and I just
don't want that kind of chick even if it does work.
And all this talk about how these girls that required abuse to seduce, how they
supposedly turn into angels and appreciate you for what you are, etc, once you
have sex with them is total bullshit.
You have to be more careful with the use of negs, (although to be honest most
guys aren't even using cocky and funny properly) and you have to know when it's
called for and when it's not. There are many times when using a neg is not
necessary at all and most guys totally OVERuse negs and use them wrong.
So, in brief, cocky and funny is about an IDENTITY that confirms that YOU HAVE
VALUE, without necessarily lowering her value, and negs are about subtracting
from HER value. So you do the math and see which one is more likely to cause
problems when done incorrectly, especially for a beginner.
The truth is that the neg is really what real assholes do a lot, I mean the
truly bastardized style assholes, and I mean this in terms of how they treat
other guys as well, never mind just girls. Although you do get some guys who
act like they are alpha with men but are wusses with women and vice versa
(br>. I saw a HELL OF A LOT of "negs" being used when I went to private
school. A true bunch of assholes there, for the most part. Of course, the term
wasn't "neg", it was simply UNDERSTOOD as being part of the asshole culture
that this is what you did to other guys, especially guys that were "beneath"
you. Real fucking sickos. I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but when
you don't have co-ed schools, the guys really have a lot of pent up aggression
or maybe it's just sexual frustration. As soon as I went to public school, I
couldn't believe how much more laid back and relaxed and more positive people
were, compared to private and non co-ed school. Maybe that's just my
experience. Anyway, the point is that negs are designed to make her feel a bit
of loss of self-esteem, while cocky and funny doesn't have to do that.
And of course, negs, OR c+f, are just ONE part
of any interaction.
Michael W
The Dating Wizard
www.thedatingwizard.com»
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