mASF post by "DeNerdo"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, June 6, 2005Ok i have to ask this, even with a risk of being laughed at. I have been
visiting this place since November 2004. I have a problem that is killing me.
Being a withdrawn programmer for first part of my life, i have a serious lack
of social skills. I know you instantly think that this dude needs to go out
more, but i have. I have been out twice a week for past 3 months, going to
clubs and parties. And i still have this problem. There’s been so little
improvement its almost laughable.
I have problems with holding a conversation. I have no idea what to say and
what to follow-up with. This is usually when i am sober, when i get drunk its a
lot better, but i don't want to get drunk to be able to talk to people. And not
just girls, anyone really.
I am not bad looking. I have girls starting conversations with me... only to
find me stand there like an idiot with nothing to say. I've been over a lot of
stuff. DYD, HSM, SwingCat, most of the stuff here... and i can do cocky funny,
push pull, qualify, teasing, but aside from that - i can't talk. There is no
glue to hold all these techniques together. I throw out occasional C&F, i
comment on their reaction, i tease some more and then the crickets. And they
move on, or i move on.
This is a fucking nightmare.
I am also an immigrant in US, so English is my second language. But i don't
think its a problem, even though I have seen guys from other countries having
similar characteristics as me. They can still hold conversations. I don't
understand a lot of stuff people are saying, but I have met immigrants who are
worse than me language wise and they can still talk.
I started all this Jazz in june last year with DYD. Lost about 45 pounds,
working out 4 times a week, have more friends now, go out more, dress better, i
am funnier. But the whole rapport thing... i have never faced a tougher
problem. Most people always have something to say, something to follow up with.
I have a friend who is an immigrant from the same country living a short
distance from me - he is dumb as a drum. But he can talk about nothing for
hours... and i being a mensa fucking nerd cant figure this out.
Any help, advice, exercises ideas would help.
Thanks and peace.
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