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Fear. Illusionary but my major sticking point.

mASF post by monkeysbutt

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Fear. Illusionary but my major sticking point.
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mASF post by "monkeysbutt"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, August 8, 2005

I was so happy. 2 months ago. Finished my army national service in Greece and
came to Edinburgh to become a pua, without having to tolerate the (good
intentioned but negative) influence of family and friends. I took the BADBOY
workshop. It went fine. I approached lots of women and I gradually got rid of
my approaching fear. I got two dates with cute girls that I met on the street
and in the library respectively.

What's the point? After two months, I've become FUCKIN FRUSTRATED. Many nights
I literally drag my feet to go out. I maybe talking with some girls and get
some IOIs and I will be unable to get anything useful out of that. I maybe
talking to guys and someone says something funny, and i find it hard to laugh
and enjoy. Some days I maybe feeling OK, and I'll go out, but the next day is
probably going to be horrible again. And it is unfair cause it's all
illusionary. Sometimes i can trick myself for a while by doing some nice mental
reframe that i invent on the spot. Like that i am on a war or something and
that I have to live the moment as much as i can cause it's not sure how long am
i going to be living and shit like that. It works. But it doesn't last as long
as i would like it to last.

I am a student of this inner game» thing. Got the books that DYD recommends in
the reading list. Got "seven masters one path", a book about meditation that TD
recommended in a DYD seminar in Australia. I was studying like a monk all
these books throughout my 9 months army service. My colleagues thought I was a
weirdo, cause by the time I was free (hard to be free in the army) or even
during morning guard shifts, I was with a book in my hands. I derived
usefulness from them. I saw my self gradually getting rid of insecurities that
haunted me?

But, WTF is this shit guys? Is my ego tricking me so hard because I took the
decision to become a PUA? If I tell my self now that I quit, I know that i will
instantly feel much better. What should I do? Should I go out in no matter how
I feel? Should I meditate and reframe harder? Should I close myself in a room
and invite a time machine so that I can travel back in time and see how Moses
part the seas? Whaaaaat? What is going on?

All my respect to the guys that read that so far. If you put your two cents in,
your opinion I'd greatly appreciate. I suppose that this SP is haunting lots of
guys in that game..

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "monkeysbutt" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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