mASF post by "The Traveler"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2002
According to the guide, the goal should be MTLR. I have always found that most
guys would want this if it were not such a hard lifestyle to keep going and if
the drama dangers weren't so bad. I think it is more like a rollercoaster,
where sometimes we meet a woman we enjoy so much we would give up every MLTR to
be with her, but we also can get in that MLTR is much better mindset if that
one-itis-girl starts to sour.
That's why I posted on that string about the study so much. I think that "love"
as described by Hollywood with hearts and flowers and porno-beating sex is
really a fantasy. After those exciting first few times, can you honestly say
that it just as exciting every time? Doubt it. But we can say that if the woman
is cool outside of the bedroom and inside of the bedroom, you might think about
LTR or marriage, and that's not too terrible.
What is important is that if things don't work out (statistical coin toss) that
the PUA mindset can be re-awakened. Hopefully, you have kept many friends and
this should include some women (unless you were dumb enough to let the one-itis-girl become your whole life). I think much of the PUA skills can be retained
during LTR as long as you have the self-control needed to keep your side of the
monogomous LTR agreement with you LTR.
Someone had asked about his 30 year old AFC buddy who has basically given up on
life. I say send him here. Even if it takes some time, frequenting the site has
really helped many people develop and retain the ASF skillset. Send your buddy
here and he will eventually change if only by subconsciously changing aspects
of his personality and acitivities. I would also recommend the same for any
divorced or dumped LTR. Getting back on the horse is hardest after a bout of
one-itis-but I would say it is when you need the skills the most (especially
FFTOW-extra f for find and).
Even Hugh Hefner got married. as I said before. Look at Paul McCartney, he
could have MLTR until her is buried in the cememtery, yet he chose to get
married. I think this shows that while MLTR is a cool lifestyle, it is also one
that may not fit everybody, men or women, and it may also be more like a state
of mind, which can change if the right woman steps into your life.
Now my plug for MLTR. I see too many people who are what my ex-gf calls "serial
Monogomous". These people basically hop into exclusivity almost immediately and
then decide after trying it for a while whether it is right. While it might be
cool some folks, I think that MLTR is a better way because you are
investigating more possible LTRs and since the odds of the love being mutual
are in question, it really gives you the breathing room. Yes, one of those
MLTRs may grow on you and eventually land you.
The way I explained love to my last LTR (from MLTR) was that Love cannot be
found. It happens. It is better to go through life not looking for love, since
it can't be found. Love will happen whether you plan for it or not. It always
does. Love finds it's ways.
So Gunwitch can keep those MLTRs and not feel guilty or anything. He should
forget about the past. As far as I'm concerned, if you have a relationship and
know that it is sex only, leave it for what it is and make sure you continue
your journey. Eventually, you will trip over the woman during a sarge and
during the MLTR, he'll think,"this is different than my usual MLTR".
Remember, people "Fall" in love. They don't build it or ease into it (forget
that "friends first bullsh-t). They fall in love, like stepping on a landmine
or getting into a car accident. It isn't planned and you could never guess
where that cupid's arrow is coming from (that sneaky bastard!).
Not being a wussy here, just giving love the credit it deserves and reassuring
the MLTR PUAs that it wasn't a mistake. If you have those feelings, they should
tell you when it is time to no longer be MLTR. If it doesn';t work out, go
right back to MLTR (hide that MLTR black book from your LTR just in case you
ever need it!).
The Traveler
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