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Mystery on Building Your Own Identity

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Mystery on Building Your Own Identity
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mASF post by "Mystery"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, March 3, 2004

STYLE vs. METHOD: Mystery on Building Your Own Identity

I read an article recently by my good buddy Thundercat that said:

"But what Mystery does, though teachable, is very much a style tailored to
Mystery. He is successful at what he does because no one else can really
imitate him. That's what makes Tyler so amazing to observe. Tyler does the same
things as Mystery, but WITHOUT the magic tricks. Yet he is still able to create
IMMENSE value for himself. How does he do this? Well, from what I've gathered,
his method is more relatable to normal guys like me, because anyone with the
proper skillset can use Tyler's methods to create value for themselves."

Thundercat's misunderstanding between a person's customized style and the game
plan or method he uses to systematically convey his unique personality concerns
me. This is because only a few days ago did we share a 3:00am meal at a diner
after our visit to an exotic dance club together.

During our meal Thundercat himself admitted that he doesn't possess a strong
identity as I do. I will attempt to resolve his misunderstanding between STYLE
and METHOD as well as reveal some insights on how to specifically customize
material to convey a unique identity (for both you and my friend Thundercat).
Once you customize your material to fit your chosen "strong identity" will you
no doubt make others who watch you work wrongfully assume it is your particular
identity that gets you the girls and not the method that powers the conveying
of it.

(Thundercat's complete article may be found at

As those who have taken a Mystery Method seminar know, MM consists of three
main areas:

PART 1. A format (or game plan) which has 3 stages, each with 3 phases.
PART 2. Mental tools to get you from phase to phase (isolation tactics, kiss
tactics, extraction tactics, etc).
PART 3. Scripts and personality conveying material (content) to fill in each of
the 9 phases.

While parts 1 and 2 (the MM format and it's tactics) don't change from person
to person, part 3 (personality conveying material) does. We each possess a
unique identity. You are not me. I am a magician. My wing Style is a writer.
Tyler D. is a public speaker. Does this mean you have to be a magician, a
writer, or a public speaker in order to attract women? Of course not! But what
you DO need is what Style, Tyler D. and I share in common: we each possess a
strong identity. Style, Tyler D. and I have each customized our material to
convey our strong and unique personalities. That is, in fact, the PURPOSE of
personality conveying material. It certainly would be counter-productive to
convey that you are a magician if you aren't one. Nor a writer or public
speaker for that matter.

Tyler D. and Style use the same game plan or method that I do. How do I know?
Because we adapted my original (and now out-of-date) FMAC method into a
powerful algorithm together (M3). Both are former students of mine, turned
teachers. And yes they have both taught me as much about the game as I have
them since we began. (Style lives in the same house as I, and Tyler D. is here
too, visiting.) While we all use the same method, we have customized the
material so that we each have a different style. In fact, Tyler D.'s style is
still evolving. His identity has, for a long time, been one with few attractive
qualities: a student. This may be the reason why Thundercat, in
misunderstanding the difference between method and style, has concluded that
Tyler D.'s material is more applicable to "normal guys" than mine. What this
reveals please me: The identity I have chosen is strong enough to confuse even
a close friend.

What Style, Tyler D. and I do when we teach others the game is give examples of
field-tested personality conveying routines to students. Should our students
stick to this STOCK material forever? No way! What they should do is identify
who they are and swap out our stock examples for customized stories from their
real life as soon as possible. The reason they are given examples is so that
they can appreciate what constitutes a good personality conveying routine. Some
amazing routines are thankfully generic enough to share ("The Cube" routine for
instance), while others must by their very nature be unique to each person.

Like mine, some of Thundercat's material should possess a common theme. He will
use this material to draw his target into his world (and not into Mystery's
world or Tyler D.'s world). Thundercat's material must specifically suit his
identity. Each person who uses MM will ultimately swap out the stock routines
we teach them and use original material over time.

I'd like to teach you (and Thundercat) an idea I had that gave me an epiphany
(and also allowed me to make out with the exotic dancer I met with Thundercat
that night when she later came over to visit me). It's a new concept and I
discovered an amazing FORMAT for conveying your IDENTITY. This idea has been
revealed only to those in my private online community Mystery's Lounge so far.
This is what some had to say about it:

CRAIG > "This is AWESOME!" <cra***[email protected]***.com[ ? ]>

VEGAS > "This is a great post. I had a girl tell me recently that one of the
sexiest things that a man does is when 'he gets so excited and passionate when
talking about what he is doing or planning on doing in his life, that he
stumbles on his words trying to get them out.'" <veg***[email protected]***.com[ ? ]>

DONJUAN > "This is @#*$in great! It gives me a way to structure telling her
what I do in a way that is intriguing, fascinating, and interesting rather than
just telling her matter of factly or going CF with it. Also incorporating
immediately ... as in 20 minutes from now." <don***[email protected]***.org[ ? ]>

I am now revealing this idea outside of my private lounge for the first time


I'm sure you've found yourself in a set and have reached the point where your
target says, "What do you do?" You either give her your honest but lame answer
like, "I'm a student", or "I'm a system's administrator", or worse, you try to
circumvent the question entirely with "I'm an ass model."

The problem is you don't have an attractive identity, or if you do, it's not a
strong one. Some guys will experiment with "I'm a rockstar", or "I'm a
promoter", or "I'm a public speaker", but your target will either feel you are
lying (in the same way we believe an "actress" is likely a "waitress"), or if
they DO believe your evidence, they become intimidated when you get weighed
down by the stereotype they have of you.

If instead of answering her question "What do you do" with "I'm " you can
ground your present identity to her reality and harness the opportunity to
convey a much richer personality. Here's how you do it.

Instead say:

1. "Well when I was little I wanted to be a ."
2. "When I was a teenager happened." Tell stories about how you got from 1 to
3. "Now I'm . Can you believe it?"

Here is the applied format that I used to ground my identity to a recent HB9's
reality. It helped to attract her and build enough comfort to get her back to
my place. (Not the exotic dancer but another girl.)

1. What do I do? When I was young I wanted to be a magician.
2. Tell story of my first birthday party magic show and how the money was used
to see a Copperfield show. (5 minute story.)
2.1 Tell story of how my biggest audience scared the shit out of me and how I
went up and kicked ass. I really get into the fear of it all. (3 minute story.)
2.2 Talk about my first real TV experience. (2 minute story.)
2.3 Tell her about moving to Hollywood and why. This is a "vulnerability
routine" in C&T stage. (3 minute story.)
3.0 Tell her what is now on my plate - my WTF? underground internet show, my TV
reality show interest, the book I'm writing, and my seminars on various topics
such as social dynamics and wealth building. (5 minutes of stories.)
3.1 Tell her what I am planning on doing next - illusion show concepts,
publicity stunts, etc. (5 minutes of stories.)

That was at least 23 minutes of story-telling and I was holding this beautiful
girl long before I performed any magic. The reason magic works for me of course
is because I'm a magician. As Thundercat noted in his article, "Tyler does the
same things as Mystery, but WITHOUT the magic tricks. Yet he is still able to
create IMMENSE value for himself." This is, to me, compelling evidence to
support that you do not need to use my style or do magic in any way to use MM.
Tyler D. performs no magic what-so-ever yet can still, by sticking to the
method and running his unique personality conveying material, attract women
like moths to a flame. Just don't go running around telling women you conduct
workshops on social dynamics if you don't. Learn more about my good buddy Tyler
D. at His close friend and business partner Papa
lives in my house.

PAPA > "Outstanding post, bro. I've been just giving quick answers, like
"professional partier" and then joking about it, but I like how you come up
with a way to circle around the identity value-conveying routines that the girl
can relate to you. I'll be working on this in my sets tonight for when girls
ask me what I do." <pap***[email protected]***.com[ ? ]>

If I just come in and say "I'm a magician", my target really wouldn't feel that
we share commonalities or lifestyle. She would have to rely on stereotyping. I
would also not appear very humble. She would feel that I'm too different for
her and I would otherwise over-qualify myself. Some women it seems would
actually reject a date with George Clooney because they don't understand his
lifestyle - they feel they lack commonality and this lack creates discomfort.
But what if he gave her his back-story and taught her what happened,
step-by-step, to him to become who he is today? This is the concept of
GROUNDING applied.

By giving my target my back-story, I ground myself to her reality ("When I was
as a regular Joe") so that she could see how she too could be the type of
person I now am ("This is who I am today") if only she were to make similar
decisions along the way. You can even later use this format to encourage your
target to ground HER life to YOU during the F2M attract phase by having her
stick to the format. Simply ask, "Woah. Back up. So what happened next?"

Notice in my list of grounding stories above that the common theme is "This is
what lead me to become who I am today." Thundercat too must do this - once he
decides what his identity in fact IS. Does this mean he must steal my identity
to do MM? No. He won't be telling stories of his first birthday party magic
show. That would be a lie. He won't talk about how he learned the secret to a
card trick by beating it out of a classmate of his, or how years later that
classmate saw him on TV and said, "I can't believe your future changed that
day." No, he won't use my specific material. Nor will you. But both you and
Thundercat will use material from your own real life experiences as I do. The
format or game plan is the Mystery Method. The personalized MATERIAL you use to
fill in the format is what constitutes your style.

CHEROKEE > "When I was on a day 2 with this girl the other week, I got wrapped
up in talking about my plans to become a , I was just rambling for god knows
how long... and the girl, in bed with me, later said this to me: 'I've never
seen a guy so passionate about something, when you were talking about , you
just lit up... and watching you talk about it made me melt.'"
<che***[email protected]***.com[ ? ]>

If Tyler D. for instance says "I'm a public speaker", what does that mean to
his target? She can only go by an accepted stereotype and unless she herself is
a public speaker (commonality) he needs to explain how he became one. He must
explain that if she did the same things he did, she too would be a public
speaker. If he were to say, "I travel the world giving lectures on social
dynamics", he would likely over-qualify himself. If he instead said, "Well,
when I was in school I went to this seminar" and "I started to help the
lecturer for shits and giggles" and then "I taught a little bit at the
seminars", he would be grounding his reality to hers. He could then continue
with "I started traveling with them for fun during the summer" and then "I put
together my own seminar and conducted it for the first time with the help of my
friend Papa. It was exciting and I was nervous", and on and on all the way to
"Now I travel the world, people look up to me and I make mad cash ... can you
believe it? I never would have thought I could do it if you said I'd be doing
this 10 yrs ago", he would be grounding his reality to hers using my grounding
method and his own original back-story material.

Now, how does one answer the deep question, "Who am I?" A friend of mine told
me, "You are what you repeatedly do."

I do magic on a regular basis. I perform it almost every day, whether for a
beautiful woman or any other other person. Style writes almost every day (and
gets paid for it, making him a full-time professional). Tyler D. mostly focuses
on conducting seminars and workshops. What do YOU do on a regular basis?
Besides being a social butterfly that is. Remember, the pick-up arts exists to
enrich your life, not define it. What stories do you already possess that
convey who you have become today?

SICKBOY > "Brilliant post! This structure makes cooler jobs seem cooler and
more important, and even not cool jobs seem that much better. The underlying
concept in this structure is that you're showing passion, direction, and goals
you set for yourself. Having a purpose and a direction is one of the most
attractive things to people. I've known about this for sometime, but never
found a way to incorporate it. The best part about this is that it doesn't come
off as qualifying yourself. I like this routine, I'm incorporating it
immediately." <Sic***[email protected]***.com[ ? ]>

GROUNDING REALITY is far reaching. It will change the way you M2F attract, F2M
attract, and build COMFORT but will not alter their basic structure. It will
also change the way you choose and structure routines, sequence them (which
routines you will use and when), and convey to your target the way you handle
challenges in your life.

KOOPER > "this is awesome mys! this is hardcore money material mys and THE
major part of my rapport building. come to think about it, this is like the
only part of my rapport building because it captures like everything about you
and the girl, and you have hours worth of conversational tangents this way.
great post!" <jow***[email protected]***[ ? ]>

So this is what you must now do to improve your game:

1. Figure out who YOU are by looking at what you DO repeatedly - something you
can say in a word or two. (ex: magician, writer, toy inventor, CEO, hacker,
rock climber, rapper, public speaker, traveler)

2. Come up with several stories that convey how you got from being a normal kid
to doing what you repeatedly do.

3. Practice telling these stories to others to make the stories enthusiastic
and natural.

My next 2-DAY MM seminar is in NYC this weekend. I'll also do a FREE 2-HOUR
lecture sometime during the Hollywood PUA Summit which is April 1 to 5 -
everyone is welcome!

Love Mystery»

To Formhandle: You may post this as an article on your site if you wish. See
you at the summit.

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2004 by "Mystery" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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