mASF post by "jimmepro"
posted on: mASF forum: Sex Discussion, July 7, 2005I have a problem with escalation.
I suppose that I am what you would refer to as an AFC, but that is not the
issue that I would like to bring to the forefront. I do not approach women but
I am regularly introduced to them. I have no issues with "sparking attraction"
and getting them interested in me, however, I have a problem escalating or
expressing the slightest hint of male sexuality. I will give you several
examples off the top of my head that took place over the last couple of months.
1) I was introduced to a girl at a friend's birthday party. We hit it off
pretty fast and exchanged phone numbers. Over the next couple of days we have
spoken several times on the phone but I was sensing that the connection was
deteriorating as I was not making a move sexually. I saw that she was losing
interest and spouted off some hollywood-like bullshit line about feeling some
sort of incredible connection or some other stupid shit. It was around 11PM and
the line was delivered over IM. At 11:30 she gives me a call and lets me know
that she wants to come over. She comes over looking and smelling great, and I
knew exactly why she came over. What did I do? We sat on the couch watching
Family Guy for 30 minutes and she left. The rest is unimportant and you can
probably guess what happened.
2) I was introduced to a friend's sister at another birthday party. She is 2
years younger than me and is very easily impressionable. I "isolate" her and
talk to her for a good 3-4 hours. At the end of the night, we end up in bed
together. Me in my boxers, her in her pajamas and a wifebeater she grabbed from
my friend. Her inner thighs are wrapped around my leg, her arm around my chest,
and I have a massive erection. I freeze up. We just lay like that for 15
minutes with her rubbing my chest until she falls asleep. The rest is
unimportant.
3) I am walking home from a bar with a friend and stop by one of the on-campus
residences to shoot some pool. At the pool place we meet two lovely young
ladies and I suggest that we all go back to my place to get some drinks. My
buddy takes the chunky chick (ha ha) and I take the slim one. We are sitting in
my room grabbing some beer out of the fridge when she uses my fridge magnets to
write the phrase "USE ME." I do nothing. The rest is unimportant.
4) I have decided to venture into online dating. I had gotten acquainted with a
good looking girl who still lives with her parents. I don't mind. One night
around 1AM she tells me that she is lonely, her parents are out of town, and
she wants me to come over. I politely decline and make up some bullshit excuse
about an early lecture. The rest is unimportant.
5) A good friend of mine, one of my roommates, told me that I need to get laid
and that he'd like to introduce me to someone. He tells me I should come over
to the library in order to meet up with them. For 3 days I put it off and on
the 4th day, knowing that I'm not going to do it, he brings her to our home to
introduce me to her. We have a little bbq in the back and eat over some
bullshit smalltalk. I do not escalate or display the slightest hint of sexual
interest. She leaves. The rest is unimportant.
These are just some of the opportunities I had missed over the last couple of
months. IOI's don't get a lot clearer than the friend's sister. I wrote this
post in the afternoon and e-mailed it to myself. By the time I came home to
post this I had missed another opportunity that has been building up over the
last couple of weeks that I do not wish to elaborate on.
I live in a nice house with a couple of friends. I am told that I am a handsome
man. I am six feet tall. I am lean. I dress well. I work out regularly, and
have quite a bit of of muscle on me. I have lived in three countries and I
speak four languages. I am in one of the hardest programs at one of the best
universities in the country. I don't have any family issues. I had a happy
childhood. I know exactly who I am and what I'm worth, so where is this anxiety
coming from?
I am very close to giving up. I am very inexperienced [bingo?]. It feels as
though if I just do it once things will get much easier. It's like I'm looking
for a manual that's nowhere to be found. Where do I get started?
I am completely lost. I have considered picking up a fat or ugly girl but they
repulse me and I'm afraid that that's not the issue. I can do better than that.
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