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near-Lay Report: Polish Chicks are Great

mASF post by Magnus

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near-Lay Report: Polish Chicks are Great
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mASF post by "Magnus"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, July 7, 2005

Nineteen84 and I are in Krakov. We went out to dinner with 4 Dutch girls and a
cool Irish guy we met at the hostel. Vrax and his wing met up with us there.
We'd spent the day with these girls, and for some reason I'd told them a little
about the community. I don't make a habit of this, but it seemed like a good
idea at the time. Pretty sure one of them liked me, she's a cool girl but not
my physical type.

So Vrax takes us to a pretty cool club where we all mill around by the bar. We
nearly don't get in because Nineteen84 thinks he has to be 21, and so says he
has no ID. But I persist after asking Vrax to talk to the bouncer, and when it
emerges N84 has to be only 18 he shows his UK driving licence. Did the 'Cute
Guy Wave' at a girl also waiting outside. She was pretty, but probably young
because she had a brace, and she didn't get into the club. The bouncer seemed
pissed at me for flirting with her.

So we're sitting at the bar, chatting about kino escalation, when I notice a
three set at a nearby table. The hottest girl is looking at me, and I keep eye
contact and give her a funny (suggestive, accusing) look, and then hide behind
Vrax's wing. Then I catch her eye again and give the 'Cute Guy Wave'. This is
awesome for when you cannot immediately approach a girl. Just lift your hand
and give a wave with just the fingers, all together. It takes a bit of
practice, I'll try and put some footage in our Vienna Video... but I picked it
up after watching London PUA do it, I've also seen a natural use it. Accompany
it with a cheeky grin and it's beautiful. When you open the chick later, it's
more like re-opening.

The kino escalation is I think from DYD Mastery. It seems like there is a
correct sequence to kino: hand, shoulder, waist, head, body. I tell the guys
this is what I am trying to internalise at the moment. The idea is that if you
make a step wrong, girls subconsciously find the mating pattern broken; and
that when you have automatically gotten it right in the past is when you have
had success. When I think of girls where I shake their hand, adopt them as my
little sister with a hug around the shoulder, and then walk with my arm round
their waist before I kiss them, this seems to make sense.

So the guys seem happy so I excuse myself and pull up a chair. I think I open
with "Are you Polish girls?" and roll into the 'Vienna' opener (Teach me some
German/Czech/Polish... how do you say "what do you like about English Men?")
but don't get that far, because the girls are slightly drunk, unlocked, and
clearly attracted to me. So I switch threads and basically fluff.

When I talk about our day trip to Auschwitz I start to get looks like I'm
smearing poo across my face, so I switch to talking about the Czech church we
went to that was full of bones. Show them some pictures, and then roll on to a
new topic.

They ask where I'm from, and run the 'Bath' routine. ¨I'm from Bath, you
haven't heard of it? It's near stonehenge. Yes, I thought you'd have heard of
that. Bath is a city of 100,000 people, that no-one outside England has heard
of. Stonehenge is a bunch of rocks in a field that is world famous." It's a
routine I use to respond to the 'Where are you from?' invisible thread.

I spill my Pina Colada down my chin but no-one seems to notice. I tell my girl
she's drunk and won't remember me in the morning, etc.

The friend tells me they are all catholic girls, so I ask if they are all
virgins who believe in no sex before marriage, and they say yes. Fuckity
fuckity pants. Oh well. So I decide to go for club makeout instead of the
lay. I roll into asking how many boys she's kissed... this week.

My girl is awesome cool but her friend is cockblocking a bit, in an aggressive
Polish girl way that reminds me of the evil Polish girl who works in the hostel
in Vienna. But she's just being protective on her friend, so I tell her this,
tell her I respect it, tell her I like her friend, ask if it's ok for me to
talk to her, and she goes for all of this but keeps talking over me and
dominating the conversation. Eventually I plead with Nineteen84 to distract
her. My girl is well past the kiss point and I tongue down within seconds of
the cockblock being distracted.

Damn, she's a great kisser. All sucky on the lips and bitey. Yum yum.

I start to wonder if there are big sofas anywhere in the bar, so I ask my girl
if she wants to dance, and she does, so we go and make out on the dancefloor.
I briefly bust out my best dance moves and then drag her up these stairs to a
sort of loft, with a picnic sort of table and bench. Heavy make out ensues.
mmmmmmm. She was really fucking horny, wrapping her legs around me and
grinding and yum yum yum. Wouldn't let me touch her hoo-hah though. After
twenty minutes or so I psychically detect that her friend is looking for her,
and decide to fractionate. If I bring her back now her friend is more likely
to trust me to take her away later.

We go back downstairs and she falls down the last three stairs so I kick her
shoe back to her, bust her again on being drunk and say I don't want to talk to
her any more. She looks genuinely hurt so I slam her against the wall and kiss
her some more. Walk back to the others with a really stupid grin on my face
from all the endorphins.

I think I bought her a drink at this point, pineapple juice. Don't care about
buying Polish chicks stuff because it is so cheap there. Actually the same
goes for American girls, whatever. I'd promised Vrax a private chat so shortly
we went outside where we could hear each other, for about 20 minutes. When I
went back, HBpolish was all "where did you go?" I was so chuffed that she'd
missed me I dragged her off for another makeout session with 'Shall we go and
/dance/ again?' Straight up to the loft, but there are people there now so we
hide at the back and grind and grind and grind. We chat a little too, but
mostly lots of heavy makeout. I think there is no way I can extract this
chick... you're not supposed to get to physical until you are at the place
where you can fuck, right? Well, wrong, in this case...

She's massively horny, so I decide to forget that she told me she was a virgin,
and ask her how many boys she has REALLY slept with. 4, from when she was 15
to 18. Cool. I tell her I really want to be inside her, and tell her we could
fuck right there, right now, and no-one would know... but I don't have a
condom. She tells me off for not having a condom, and I say I have one at the
hostel. She asks if I want to go there and say "FUCK YES". I drag her off
down the stairs and she says "what about your friends?" and I say "FUCK MY
FRIENDS!" She loves this and says "ok, I have to talk to my friend".

Say goodnight to Nineteen84, Vrax, his wing, the Dutch girls, Irish guy...
everyone seemed surprised that we were going. Probably had been in set for an
hour and a half at this point. Assured the cockblocking friend I would look
after her (I'm an English Gentleman, dontcha know) and kissed the other friend

Walking out, she says "I am a bad girl", and I tell her she's a good girl. If
she did this every day she might be a bad girl, but it's not every night you
meet someone who you trust and feel comfortable with this quickly, you have to
live life in the moment. We find a taxi and jump in, she talks to the driver
in Polish nearly all the way there, and I pay. Walk her briskly through the
hostel past reception as if they had no 'no visitors' policy, up two flights of
stairs, into the room, straighten the bedsheets, switch off the lights and
resume making out.

I tell myself that it's SUPPOSED to be this easy. Probably less than three
hours from meet to lay... this is where things started to go pear-shaped.

I do my usual lots of make out, dry humping, making her laugh, pulling clothes
off one at a time, and there's no resistence at any point. Her knickers come
off, my boxers are still on. I finger her until she says "Do you have condom?"
Even though I can barely fit one finger in still, I fetch one, pull off my
pants, and lose my erection. The one I'd had constantly since meeting her.

So I say I'm not ready and she rubs me and sucks me a bit and then more heavy
make out, until I'm hard again. Condom on, she's on top of me... ready to
enter, but she wants to go underneath. So we switch, and when I am on top, Mr
Schtieffen has LEFT THE BUILDING.

We laugh about it all though, and I finger her some more and she goes back on
top. Hardness returns and we try again... but she's blatently not wet enough,
or something... then I feel a trickle of something warm running out of her and
down my leg. I sniff a sample of it and it's not urine, so I wonder if she has
female ejaculated or something. Either way she's wet enough so we try again...
but no. Then my penis completely gives up.

We rest a little and I look down to see an ocean of blood.

For the second time in a week.

5 days, 22 hours since the last time, I reckon.

What IS IT with these european girls.

She's embarrased, so I reassure her and whatever, and then re-arrange the
sheets so we are lying on a fresh part of the quilt cover. We cuddle for a
while and decide to have a shower to get cleaned up. After generously soaping
her lovely lovely tits I turn the shower on the underside of my penis and my
perinium, and remove the encrusted blood from there.

Then we notice the shower basin is filling up with water... red water. I fetch
a wad of toilet paper and delve into the plughole to remove a clump of hair
from the last fifty backpackers to use the shower. Or it could just be the
hairy ape like chinese girl that seems to be reading this over my shoulder as I
write it. We switch off the shower and the basin empties with a gurgle. Then
more heavy makeout in the shower, which is always a favourite of mine despite
the fact that I don't actually enjoy it. She now has cramps, so we go back to
the room. Decide not to replace my boxers as they are also caked with blood.

We get back to the room and find Nineteen84 has returned, so I head down to
reception to see if they can rent us a new room in the middle of the night.
They can :) The girl behind the desk laughs at me when I don't know how to
properly say HBpolish's name. Decide not to mention the bloody sheets until
the next morning.

So we make out for another million hours and then sleep a bit. In the morning
she goes to the bathroom, checking herself in the mirror... perhaps in case she
meets another English guy in the hall. As soon as she leaves the room I let
out a whole bunch of enormous farts that I'd had queuing. She takes FUCKING
AGES so I start composing this report in my phone. Her bag is still here...
what the fuck has happened to her. After nearly 20 minutes she opens the door.
She'd forgotten the room number and had to go to reception to find out what it
was. She didn't know my surname and the room didn't have her name on it, so it
took them a while to find it, and they laughed at her :)

I rub her back a bit and we start kissing, but she tastes of old carpet and I
can't avoid pulling a face. She decides to have a cigarette and sits on the
window ledge with it. I'm watching the smoke detector, thinking that the
thrilling climax to this story could be us causing the evacuation of the
hostel. Oh, did I mention that a building burned down in Krakov, and the
school that owns the hostel building had a bomb threat in the morning. So
probably people would be less impressed if we set the alarm off. But
fortunately we didn't, and made out some more before going out for breakfast.
She paid for the taxi down this time.

I never cease to amaze myself at how much rapport and trust and comfort I can
build with some girls. Even though there was no actual lay, this was a really
solid close. Not sure when I can see her again though. She helped me find a
nice birthday present for my mum, and took me to see a fire breathing dragon,
before getting on her bus home.

So, no new lay on my PUA progress chart, but I've got the warm fuzzies all over
as I write this, and I can still taste the mango-apple juice that she was
drinking before I kissed her goodbye.

Also I have a friction burn on the end of my penis, dry-humping for so long is
perhaps not so healthy.


Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "Magnus" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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