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Re: From the very beginning please.

mASF post by Gerome

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Re: From the very beginning please.
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mASF post by "Gerome"
posted on: USENet: newsgroup, July 7, 2002

Odious wrote:

>Gerome wrote:
>> Hi group. I wonder if you guys can help me out. After being in a long
>> term relationship for about 8 years, I am now single again, which I havent
>> been since I was 20. I was never particulary good at approaching women
>> then, but now I find it almost impossible, think I'm afraid of rejection
>The key to overcoming the fear of rejection, like any fear, is to first
>identify WHY you are afraid.

You have a good point, that kind of puts it all into perspective. Maybe
a little self-investigation is needed on my own part. Thanks.

>Usually with rejection the fear(s) are based on being publicly
>embarrassed or humiliated and that humiliation or embarrassment is based
>on the level of value you've already placed on the woman you're
>approaching. A lot of guys will pump that value up very high before ever
>even meeting a woman. By making the whole thing into something more than
>it is... they set themselves up for a harder fall should they be

I suppose most of us are conditioned to put women on a pedastool, which
is somewhat silly.

>We build up this level of importance for a given woman we approach, we
>start setting up far off goals of success, and we over extend based on
>those goals. Before you've said the first word, you're off thinking
>about how to get sex, or if she'll be a good girlfriends etc. so if she
>does reject your advance, in your mind you've lost a sex partner or a
>girlfriend. When the fact of the matter is, that level of value was
>never established.
>Don't get caught up in that... just meet women, have fun, learn about

I like that approach, it makes sense. I was out last night with that attitude
and ended up chatting and getting on really well with two girls - that's
a better performance than I usually manage. Something else I noticed,
while I was chatting to one of them, who was in ASF rating probably an
8, I noticed another girl on the other side of the room looking over,
and eventually smiling at me. On the same note whenever I was out with
my ex I found i'd get more looks from girls than if I was out with the
guys. What's that all about?

[ snip ]

>That's the key to your transition. If you use the small talk
>correctly...she will tell you how to move to the next level. All you
>have to do then, is offer her what she wants.
>Have fun.

Hey that looks like a plan. I think that's the attractiveness of going
after women with a technique, you have a idea of what you want to achieve
rather than just flailing around trying to grab anything you can. I'm
always happier when I have a plan.

>> So I need some help with my confidence and maybe a few techniques for
>> approaching women and small talk. Ive read some of the pick-up guide-but it doesnt
>> seem to have a section for the completely clueless.
>> Also, what books are good to read on this field, I don't get time to sit
>> at the computer reading for hours on end due to my work and other commitments.
>> Thanks for any help.
>And check out this free audio clip...

Ok. Thanks again. I think I might enjoy this whole learning process, I
feel somewhat more empowered already :)

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2002 by "Gerome" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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