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The nature of that very first conversation

mASF post by beatcal

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The nature of that very first conversation
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mASF post by "beatcal"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, June 6, 2005

I've read the player guide on this site, and it seems to me that "eliciting
values" is an important part of the initial conversation. Most of the time,
though, I meet women at random in my day-to-day life - at the grocery store, at
the gym, walking from one place to another between classes, etc. I've always
thought that when I introduce myself to a woman in these settings, the
conversation should last from 10 to 15 minutes. But in that time span, there's
no way I'm going to get into stuff like, "So, what's important to you in a
relationship?" or "What is your most pleasant memory from your childhood" -
both of which are eliciting values questions. Now, maybe if I met a girl at a
party or a bar and had an extended conversation with her, I could work up to
those kinds of questions. But in a 10-minute conversation at the gym? I don't
think so. So, there are a few options here. One, maybe I'm thinking about the
initial conversation wrong. Maybe that initial conversation IS supposed to take
at least a half hour, no matter where I am - the grocery store, the post
office, wherever. Or, maybe the initial conversation is supposed to be only 10
or 15 minutes, but PUAs steer the conversation toward eliciting values
questions within that time frame. Or, maybe eliciting values questions are only
appropriate for longer conversations, and there's some other approach for short
conversations - one that either isn't described explicitly on this site, or
that I've missed.

As always, I welcome thoughts, experiences, web links, and advice. Gratuitous
lunkhead insults, though, I can live without. I'm a newbie trying to learn, and
I don't pretend to be anything else. Thanks...

Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "beatcal" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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