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My LTR experience so far (long)

mASF post by TylerDurden

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My LTR experience so far (long)
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mASF post by "TylerDurden"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, February 2, 2005

While I was writing the inner game» portion of the RSD ebook, I <
spent about a year thinking and analyzing my own internal thought

patterns. Basically I would write down and track my internal
thought patterns, and tried to sift out the good ones and the bad <
ones. I did this for a long time. In the process, I became very
aware of how my mind worked, especially my inner dialogue and <
how it changed based on my moods.

About three months ago, I realized that I'd been going out into the

field so much that I'd neglected to work on my business. As a
result, my business was not doing the things that it could be
doing. So what I did was I decided to get a girlfriend, and stop <
going out for a while.

The first thing that I did was go to a place where I knew that the <
girls were a bit more my personality type and less focused on
"going out". I went to Hermosa Beach instead of Hollywood,
to get girls there is ridiculously easy and they are very down to
and cool. The skills I learned in Hollywood make is so easy to
these girls.

Rather than trying to pull first shot, I took 7 phone
numbers that night of the girls whose personalities I liked the most.

I called the girl who I liked the most, invited her over, and fucked <
her after about a half hour date. There was hard LMR (4 hours,
LMR) but I plowed through it by dominating her.

She came back a few days later, by which time I'd decided that I <
wanted her as a girlfriend. While I was fucking her, I'd stop and <
say "Tell me you love me. Say it. Just say it, you don't have to <
mean it. I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time, I just want to hear

it as like a kinky thing. It's just for fun. Say it. Say it." etc etc..
She's like "Are you crazy? What's wrong with you?" and I just
plowed through it and made her do it by pinning her down while I <
was fucking her and saying it right into her ear so that she couldn't

think straight. I had her say it over and over, until she believed it.<
I think it works because she links the feelings of sex to love. It is
field tested a few times, so take your chances with it.

I actually field tested this a few months ago, and found that it got <
girls to fall in love with you very quickly. The act of them saying it <
while being dominated connects with them on a psychological <
level. I got a lot of these ideas from reading Franco's posts about <
domination and submission, and thinking a lot about how our
social interactions affect our emotions and how things go from <

Anyway, once she was in love with me, I convinced her to move in.

I did that by creating drama for her until she went insane, and then

made her think the solution was to move in with me. That was how

I got a live in girlfriend within a few hours of interacting her. It was

interesting to see the reactions of her ex-boyfriends, all of whom <
tried to marry her or move in with her. They're all confused about <
it. It really goes to show how badly guys need to get a wakeup call

of how "attraction is not a choice" as David D says.

At this point in my game, I know female personality types so well, <
that I knew that she would be an outstanding girlfriend, which she

has been for the last two or three months.

The personality type that I was looking for was the following:

-outgoing, always happy
-analytical/educated, so that I can talk to her about analytic topics<
-non validation centered
-no drugs or alcohol
-high sex drive
-high social calibration, always able to one-up me conversationally

in terms of humour and frame control
-strong confidence

Those personality traits were important to me personally, at least <
for a longer term relationship.

The outgoing and always happy thing was crucial, because I deal

with depression problems. For me to be surrounded by people <
with depression problems is not an option, because my internal <
strength is not always consistent enough to be pulled down by <
other people.

The analytical thing was because I am an analytical guy, so by <
nature I like talking about analytical topics. I needed a girl who <
was well-educated and who liked talked about my nerd interests.<

The non validation issue was important because I although I like <
having sex with girls like that (they are often hot and fuck better to

get validation), I usually find that I don't get along with them in
relationships. I have difficulty relating to it.

The no drugs or alcohol thing was because I don't use them
myself. If I did, I'd want a girl who uses them. Because I don't, I <
don't like to be in relationships with girls who aren't in the same <
headspace as I am (again, unless its just for sex).

And as far as the confidence and social calibration, I needed a girl

who was very confident because of my job. Obviously I need a girl

who is a bit high on herself, because she needs to think she's so <
hot that no other girl can pull me away. Otherwise she won't take <
me seriously as LTR material. I've found that in the past, many <
girls will fuck immediately because of the RSD thing, but most will

not consider me for an LTR because they think I'm unreliable.

As far the high sex drive qualification, I find that a girl who might <
have a low sex drive for one guy could have a high sex drive for <
another. For example, when a girl is in MY frame, then she will <
have a high sex drive because she will continually reach out
physically in order to be pacified emotionally. But if I am always <
chasing, the girl will have a low sex drive.

In this case, I don't initiate sex very often, and she knows that I
have other girls wanting me because my cell phone is always
blowing up with different girls calling me asking me why I won't see

them anymore. She also sees my photo album filled with hot girls,

and when we go out to get a bite to eat I often have girls that I
dated coming up to me and other girls flirting with me. I NEVER <
throw this in her face, because it would be try-hard. It's just
something that's obvious. She wants sex continually, as is almost

always the case of any girl who is in the frame of the guy she's <

On my instruction, I had her read books on nutritional cooking, and

she started cooking for everyone in Project Hollywood. She
spends most of the day shopping and preparing meals, and in <
between that, she goes to the gym. On average she goes to the <
gym 2 hours a day for 7 days a week.

This was a very important issue to me, because I've noticed that <
most couples in relationships go into a "Cornecopia Effect". What

that is, is that when a couple feels comfortable then they will start <
eating and drinking and getting ugly and out of shape.

They do that both because they feel validated and no longer
motivated to stay pretty for other people, but also because usually

there is an uglier person in the relationship and if they both get out

of shape and all that then they'll feel more equal with eachother. <
I'm not sure if this description is accurate, but its something like that


It was important to me not to become like that, so as soon as I went

into a relationship I immediately changed my habits to actually <
take better care of myself than I was a PUA.

From there I also thought that it would be useful to teach my
girlfriend help the guys at the workshops. It was easy to do
she's social and confident, and it definitely adds a value to the
program that I'm pleased with. She's by far the best wingwoman
ever seen, and helps get us into clubs and helps newer guys to
to girls and get a bit of experience under their belt without being<
blown out, etc etc..

This has been a good experience for me, because it has allowed <
me to get my professional life back in order. The same 6-10 hours

a day that I was committing to going out and doing day2s, I am
committing to my professional life.

At the same time, I found downsides. First off, I didn't realize that I

previously had a social anxiety disorder. What was happening, <
was that going out and playing the game was actually
SUPPRESSING my social anxiety. I find now that when I walk <
around, that I have difficulty maintaining eye contact with people <
and speaking with a clear voice. I can still do it of course, but I <
have to think about it consciously rather than just doing it.

Also, my game has deteriorated. I do not spark attraction in set <
anymore. I can talk to girls the exact same as before, but they just

get attracted. It's interesting to watch, and reminds me of what it <
was like to be a student. I'm surprised that my game deteriorated <
within such a short period of time. It's interesting to see how
quickly it happens, but I think that most people probably wouldn't <
have this issue because I was coming from a lower place than <
most people when I came into the community.

I just did a guest speech for DYD last weekend, and it was
interesting for me because my social anxiety was so high that I had

to leave the stage in fifteen minutes. I got up there, and I looked <
out at the crowd and I just drew blanks. I wasn't even scared, but

rather just numb. Luckily I had notes with me, and I just said the <
material and it went well-enough. I've done enough public
speaking at this point that I'm not going to have a "bad"
appearance, but rather just not an outstanding one.

One thing that I found interesting about it was that early on I
realized that I was too nervous to crack jokes. It was actually early

my recognition of it that saved the speech. I find that if I'm nervous,

that I can't make jokes "hit", so to speak. What i mean is that they <
won't get a good reaction, because it is obvious that I'm trying too <
hard to get a reaction.

This is sort of an interesting thing I see in the game as well. Until a

girl is in your frame, if you try to put up hoops (a hoop could even <
be cracking a joke and expecting her to laugh), she won't jump <
through them. So in a pickup, if you try to put up a hoop, and she <
doesn't jump through it, it is actually a demonstration of lower
value. Like, it draws attention to your lower value, and you're
done. But if you just lay back and chat, and wait until she's in your

frame, then you're OK. This is basic social calibration.

So in my speech, because I was too nervous to take the frame from

the audience (I realized it at my first joke attempt which didn't hit), I

just laid back and said the speech and it went over alright. Not <
amazing, but OK enough that it was solid. If you guys purchase <
DYD products, if you compare the "Bars and Clubs" speech that I <
did, to the "Bodylanguage" speech that I'm talking about here,
you'll probably spot the difference.

Anyway, after seeing this I was curious to see what had happened

to my in field skillset. I actually did this a few weeks ago, and I did

amazingly well. It was interesting, because the extra nerves
actually made me try harder, which made me do better. That night

I had one of the best nights of my life. But last night I had a
different experience. I went out with Madbad (who was in
attendance), and decided to hit the field again.

My first few sets went very poorly. I was blown out on the opener <
on the first few, and told to fuck off by one girl who was drunk. I <
was pretty surprised, because I haven't had that experience for a <

I kept at it though. I remember saying to Madbad "OK dude, let's try

another one." and keeping a positive attitude. I approached these

two Brooklyn girls who threw up hard bitch shields, and I plowed <
through them for about five minutes by yelling at them. I eventually

venue changed them to a restaurant and my girl started qualifying

herself and giving me a lot of kino.

I ejected once we got to the restaurant (20 minutes in) because I <
wanted to do more sets. The girl started gagging and tearing up a

bit. She was like "This was all bullshit? Are you totally full of
shit?!" I was happy to see her reaction, in the sense that it showed

that I'd hit back my groove, but I felt bad for upsetting her.

Then I did another set which was mediocre, and then another
which was a lone wolf and it went extremely well. The girl took me

outside and tried to get me back to come party with her friends at <
her hotel. I was basically standard game, where I opened and <
teased and said "Which way are you walking" and walked with her

and just told stories and joked around. I feel that the set went well

because the girl wasn't super confident herself (although she was

really cute). Had it been a hard 9 or 10, the same set would have

blown me out.

The main difference is that I am not keeping strong eye contact, I <
am talking too fast, and my voice isn't projecting properly. I'm too <
obviously reacting to the girl, rather than getting her reacting to

What I'm really noticing is the difference in my internal state. When

you go out all the time, you are in party state. You have jokes
coming into your mind naturally, and you are actually
CONDITIONED to be alpha and funny. Your mind is wired like <
that. It's actually wired to think faster.

When you start sitting inside and working for 10 hours a day, you <
can't do it because your brain has become addicted to stimulation.

To stay in and write a book, you have to sloooooow down your <
mind. You can't actually sit down and write for 10 hours because <
you're jittering and you can't keep focus. But with time, you
actually become conditioned to staying in and working, and you <
start to like it. You actually want to sit in and work, and you don't <
want to go out. Your brain adapts to it.

I've talked to guys like Coolwater, who said that when he went into

the field a lot, that he couldn't concentrate on his lectures anymore.

I was the same way. You actually re-wire your mind to be adapted

to stimulation, so much to the point that you can actually control the

energy and stimulation around you.

But then once you start conditioning yourself to stay in and work, <
you go out to a club at night, and you feel all introverted in the back

of your own head. Like you're so focused on your work, that you <
can't relate to other people the same.

So that was last night, and I'm here today just processing it. I am <
disappointed that my social anxiety has come back just because I

am in a relationship. I find that I'm feeling very AFC. I think that <
perhaps the old anchours of being in a relationship are coming <
back, from my first relationship when I was 19-21.

When I was a PUA, I would walk around on top of the world. I felt <
like a pimp, and girls would give me approach invitations and be <
attracted to me instantly. Now I feel more like an AFC and it
shows. I have a harder time in social situations, and my sense of <
humour has been reduced from being pretty good to pretty weak.<

It seems like going out is similar to lifting weights. You are
exercising your social muscles. You are building them up. If you <
stop going out, you won't lose all of your muscles, but you won't be

in tip top shape.

At the same time, it alerts me to a bigger issue. In my case, I'm <
coming into the community from a lower point than most guys. So

its natural that when I sink back, that its more noticeable than it <
might be for the average guy. For me, there is an issue that I have

to find my sense of value not so much in being a pimp, but in other


I have to develop talents in areas away from the game, and I also <
have to streamline and condition my thought patterns to a level <
where I'm not suppressing social anxiety but actually dealing with

it. That will probably take me another few years, but I think that <
once I've dealt with it that I'll have done a really good job.

I'm thinking of taking up stand up comedy, as well as going back <
into sports and dance class. Those areas are difficult ones for me,

and I think that by taking on the challenge that I would improve my

game more than by actually going out.

I will also probably start going out with my girl to clubs once or <
twice a week, just to go out and socialize. She is amazing, so it <
will be fun and it will give me a chance to work on my sense of <
humour and frame control again. We'll see if this causes drama or

not, but I think it will go over fine because she has a tendency to <
eclipse most guys so she will probably get as much attention as I <

At this point, I think my relationship skills are top notch, only
because relationships are so easy to maintain when you know <
how to PU. All you do is lay the girl, and then lay back and keep <
the frame. I find this very easy, and I don't expect to learn anything

from staying in a relationship. I feel that guys who talk about
relationship management are thinking about it too much. Just be <
cool and hold the frame. That said, I'm probably talking a lot like <
how a natural talks about PU.

I have internalized everything I need so it is unconscious. Having

tactics to keep a relationship could probably really help guys who

are not natural with it, especially guys who do not have much
experience in field but like a girl and want to stay with her before <
they complete the mastery of their skillset (usually a bad choice in

my opinion, but I can't judge a guy whose shoes I'm not in).

A few things that I do are:
-never insult her, EVER
-never argue with her, except if I think she needs it
-if she needs it, I'll yell at her to dominate her (1 minute tops), and
I'll grab her and kiss her until she's giggling and her state
(I do this because I believe girls need you to do this once in a
-I'm always in control of myself and respect myself, so she'll
me too.
-I'm really nice to her, and always reward her for being a good
-I draw the line firmly and very quickly at bad behaviour. It is
enough that she wouldn't even think about it.
-I'm like her dad and she's like my mom. I make her feel protected
also qualified to be with me, by doing that.
-She always knows that this could vanish (she's actually right)
-I never qualify myself to her, EVER on any level.. I just chill and
-I have a lot of cool friends whose friendships she values.

Again, to be honest, I really don't put a lot into this stuff. I'm posting
and surprised I even have that much to say about it. It's just a

I think by being in a relationship that I'm going to be forced to work

on other areas of my life that I have neglected. So for now, I want <
to be the best boyfriend possible and to get caught up in other <
areas. From there, I'll decide how I want to proceed.

Anyway, I wanted to post about my experience really honestly, <
because other guys will undoubtedly go through the same thing. I

wanted to post about it to share my experience, in case other guys

have similar experiences, they may relate to it.


Unless otherwise noted, this article is Copyright©2005 by "TylerDurden" with implicit permission provided to for reproduction. Any other use is prohibited without the explicit permission of the original author.


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